Attending Your Own Funeral

[Lost Drifter]

Have you ever been curious as to what your funeral would be like? What the people would say and how they would remember you? A few weeks ago I got to experience something similar.

After transferring to a new department at work I had to return to my old department to pick up some files I had forgotten. To cut a long story short no-one knew I was there because my former manager and colleagues were having a meeting in the room next to the one I was in. I really should have just got my files and left but then I overheard my former manager inform everyone that I had left and stupid me, I was a bit curious to hear people’s reactions. Now in usual cases people will mention how much they will miss the person leaving, they’ll all sign a card and organise an office night out to say their goodbyes etc but in my case it was silent. No-one said a thing.

I’ve worked with these people for the best part of four years. I’ve greeted them each morning, I’ve remembered their birthdays (and not one of them has asked of mine) and bought them lunch. I’ve stayed behind late at night to clear their mistakes or to help them get promotions. I’ve babysat for two of them; I’ve helped three move houses and have lent money to pretty much everyone and all I get is silence? I know, I know the good guy in me shouldn’t be after reward or gratitude but it would have been nice to have at least something from them instead of indifference.

Curiosity killed the cat and all that jazz

 

[blackdot]

I find that when a manager announces in a meeting that someone is leaving, no one says anything until after the meeting and everyone gets back to their desks and starts chit chatting. The only thing you would have found out by snooping was what the manager thought of you.
I once knew a guy who finally quit cause he was having to do all the work and train the rest of us at the same time. He got worn out and surprised management by just quitting. We were going to struggle without him there. The manager then announces in a meeting that the guy quit and then starts ranting at how we are going to be better without that guy. No one said anything until after the meeting when everyone was asking everyone else if the manager was having a mental breakdown.

I also find here that we don't do the signing a card thing unless someone has been around for an extremely long time.

CRAP! That reminds me. One of my former senior managers had to retire after over 30 years due to medical reasons. He was going to come back on Thursday to see people again and I completely forgot about it since I was off work on Mon-Wed. ARGH!!!!

 

[HappyYogi]

Hi Lost Drifter. When I saw the title of your post I had to laugh. A little black humor is always fun!

It sounds like Black Dot has the most useful advice...at least so far. haha

 

[Gutted]

[sarcasm]They sound like the perfect bunch of people to work with[/sarcasm]

I don't wonder what my funeral will be like. Not yet. I think I will if I am still alive when I am 75+

Or when someone close to me dies and I have to manage a funeral.

 

[Ak5]

Ouch Lost Drifter. How callous of them.

My funeral? I'd like to see it. I'm sure there will be family and the friends of my family, since I have no friends of my own lol (if my "funeral" would be right now).

 

[annik]

No one ever hears anything good about themselves when eavesdropping. Never listen.

 

[Unwanted94]

Wow...That would have just killed me inside... Wow...just.....wow...

 

[Sci-Fi]

That kind of sucks but it could have been worse LD, they could have said mean things.

Funerals are so different, people put on their fake caring faces and act like you were someone important to them. They will act like you were their best friend to hide their own guilt. It usually isn't until someone dies that some people realize what that person did for them.

 

[beautifulsorrow]

Just because they kept quiet doesn't necessarily mean they didn't care. I could imagine someone very loved by people leaving and everyone being silent.

 

[Tiina63]

It can be difficult to give your opinion of someone else in front of a group, be it good or bad, because you worry that it might be different from the opinions of everyone else. So you stay silent. At the same time, a couple of inconsquential remarks, such as 'he was friendly and helpful' or 'he enjoyed babysitting for me' would not have gone amiss. Also, as scifi says, it would have been worse if they had said mean things about you.

 

[Lost Soul]

No one ever hears anything good about themselves when eavesdropping. Never listen.

I occasionally do. It's really nice when I do.

 

[aribeth]

That's odd to get silence from other especially for being there 4 years. Funny how you equate it to a funeral. I have so few friends if I died and there was a funeral I bet nobody would show. My son lives so far away that I bet he wouldn't come.