Body positivity

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
ajdass1 said:
I wish that 'beauty' didn't have such overriding importance, or that all bodies could just be seen to have beauty whatever they look like... then again, I spend an awful lot of time agonizing over what I hate about my body and I can't seem to stop doing that... it's difficult and I think people either don't realize how damaging it can be to constantly be bombarded with messages telling you that you're too ugly/fat/whatever and that that means there must be something wrong with you as a person; or they just don't care.

What AJ said. It seems to me that we will never be able to truly escape it. Even cultures that are not exposed to media stereotypes have their own versions of what is and isn't beautiful, so at the end of the day, someone, somewhere is being made to feel "less" purely because they look a certain way. It makes me so sad when I think about all this.
 
Veruca said:
It makes me so sad when I think about all this.

That's because you expect life to be fair.

There will pretty much always be standards of beauty in society. You can either accept it or reject it.

And here's the key: Whether you accept it or reject it, you CAN find someone who will appreciate you for the beauty they see in you. Society may not agree... but fresia society.
 
Badjedidude said:
That's because you expect life to be fair.
There will pretty much always be standards of beauty in society. You can either accept it or reject it.

Good point. So true. I mean, it can be tough having to deal with all this and it is sad to see how it affects others (especially kids), but on a personal level, with self awareness comes the realization that one does have a choice. +1! (though it seems like you don't need anymore :p)

Badjedidude said:
And here's the key: Whether you accept it or reject it, you CAN find someone who will appreciate you for the beauty they see in you. Society may not agree... but fresia society.

I sure hope so! :D
 
The problem is, most people want to be appreciated AND be able to appreciate that specific person.

And it's entirely possible that you can't get a match like that.

Sorry to break your positivity roll.
 
Badjedidude said:
Veruca said:
It makes me so sad when I think about all this.

That's because you expect life to be fair.

There will pretty much always be standards of beauty in society. You can either accept it or reject it.

And here's the key: Whether you accept it or reject it, you CAN find someone who will appreciate you for the beauty they see in you. Society may not agree... but fresia society.

The problem now is that the beauty standards we have are not even attainable, some of those perfect beautiful models consist of like, 4 women put togehter in photoshop. thats not only unfair, its madness! The only people (men and women) who can come close to that ideal body, is people who have the right bodyshape from the beginning. If the ideal we had today was more attainable, i belive that less people would feel so fat, ugly, disgusting or whatever. The standard should be "healthy" if anything instead of "amazingly thin person with the right bonestructure except for her legs and nose and mouth because those bodyparts belong to someone else put they werent pretty enough in general to be on the picture, but their bodyparts was usable!" Just something more, realistic.
 
ilios said:
The problem now is that the beauty standards we have are not even attainable, some of those perfect beautiful models consist of like, 4 women put togehter in photoshop. thats not only unfair, its madness! The only people (men and women) who can come close to that ideal body, is people who have the right bodyshape from the beginning. If the ideal we had today was more attainable, i belive that less people would feel so fat, ugly, disgusting or whatever. The standard should be "healthy" if anything instead of "amazingly thin person with the right bonestructure except for her legs and nose and mouth because those bodyparts belong to someone else put they werent pretty enough in general to be on the picture, but their bodyparts was usable!" Just something more, realistic.

[video=youtube]
 
ilios said:
The problem now is that the beauty standards we have are not even attainable, some of those perfect beautiful models consist of like, 4 women put togehter in photoshop. thats not only unfair, its madness! The only people (men and women) who can come close to that ideal body, is people who have the right bodyshape from the beginning. If the ideal we had today was more attainable, i belive that less people would feel so fat, ugly, disgusting or whatever. The standard should be "healthy" if anything instead of "amazingly thin person with the right bonestructure except for her legs and nose and mouth because those bodyparts belong to someone else put they werent pretty enough in general to be on the picture, but their bodyparts was usable!" Just something more, realistic.

My point was that it doesn't matter what standards society has.

There will always be people who don't hold to society's views, or have their own standards of beauty. And they are not as few and far between as they may seem. Societal trends such as beauty standards are generalized things -- it's completely feasible for a person to generally agree with societal standards and yet seek a partner according to their own personal standards.

So there really is a person for everyone.

That was my point.
 
Despite putting on weight, I find myself loving my body more and more each day. This wasn't the case 6 years ago; I believed I was fat and ugly. Last week I was looking at my old pictures... goodness I was hot! I was stupid enough to believe that somehow I looked like honeysuckle which wasn't true at all. NOW, I look like honeysuckle with aging and illness.

So why the shift in perception and believe? Because my body rocks! Each and every part of it, every single cell is trying its very best to keep me alive and warn me of potential threats. My body itself is intelligence and divine. Despite my previous attempts to self-destruct, my body found ways to heal the cut wound, release the toxins, heal the traumas - automatically. It didn't hear my call to die. It just wanted to keep functioning. For all these I am truly grateful for my body. I love it very very much. When I look at it now I don't see ugly. I see cute. And I see a divine temple.
 
I want to say something here.. but I don't want to say something here. Only because I don't practise what I preach and I feel like my body is honeysuckle.

It's really great that you can see it that way, SolitarySol. I could see the same about myself but it's just not happening and I don't see it happening anytime soon. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna sit around and sulk about it.. lol. It just sucks. *shrugs*
 
I'm a skinny 145 pounder with no muscle tone to speak of. I could start working on changing that if I want to, but I'm too lazy to.
 
ladyforsaken said:
I want to say something here.. but I don't want to say something here. Only because I don't practise what I preach and I feel like my body is honeysuckle.

It's really great that you can see it that way, SolitarySol. I could see the same about myself but it's just not happening and I don't see it happening anytime soon. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna sit around and sulk about it.. lol. It just sucks. *shrugs*

I get like that too sometimes, especially when depression kicks in.... I've learned to accept some of my flaws. Understanding and seeing my body differently is a huge step for me. Well, sometimes when the clothes don't fit, the pimples pop up the same old record plays in my mind.
 
Depends on context IMO. If you're using it in the same context as arguments of absolutes then what you said applies. If you're using it to cheer someone up it's not so bad.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
Dissident said:
Depends on context IMO. If you're using it in the same context as arguments of absolutes then what you said applies. If you're using it to cheer someone up it's not so bad.
I just find it to be a poor argument.

But it can put things in perspective.

"My new DVD is late arriving, I am so mad."

"Could be worse, my arm got chopped off this afternoon in a freak lawnmower accident."

"**** man, and if I had my new DVD I could have cheered you up, now I'm super mad."

"Never mind your DVD, I lost my arm!!!"

"I know, sucks I don't have a DVD to take your mind of it, today blows."

"I...."

Hmmm, maybe your right, I think I lost my way somewhere with my point there.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
I personally hate the philosophy of It could be worse. That implies those who might not be as bad off are not allowed to feel sadness.

No, it's helpful to put your situation into perspective, this philosophy is true (in most cases), and you should take comfort in the fact that your situation isn't as bad as it could be.

Your referring to it in a negative way.
 
9006 said:
No, it's helpful to put your situation into perspective, this philosophy is true (in most cases), and you should take comfort in the fact that your situation isn't as bad as it could be.

I think that was what I was trying to say (badly), thanks 9006.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
Dissident said:
Depends on context IMO. If you're using it in the same context as arguments of absolutes then what you said applies. If you're using it to cheer someone up it's not so bad.
I just find it to be a poor argument.

I understand. It certainly doesn't make a problem go away, but usually it's understood that it's not the intent. But again, I'm going to have to go back to "it depends on context."
 

Latest posts

Back
Top