Catastrophic Language

[dd11]

I have noticed that people who are stuck, often engage in catastrophic language. As in I ALWAYS do this wrong. Or, this happened to me today and it is a Catastrophe, etc. I think our language colors our perception of the world and affects the way we think about things and our moods. Bumping into someone's fender at the grocery store might be annoying for instance, but do we paint that as more a problem than it really is? It's a minor inconvenience. It's a bit annoying. It may even be a bit of a financial set back. But, how do we talk to ourselves when something like that happens? Do you beat yourself and tell yourself that you are "always messing up", etc. or do you just recognized that maybe you just made a mistake and misjudged the parking spot? Anyway, I guess my point is, I do think it is important to listen to what we say to ourselves and the language we use. Thoughts?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Personally, I don't think the language is the problem, so much as the thoughts in your head and whether you believe said thoughts or not.

If I back into someone's car or whatever, I'm going to curse up a storm and call myself stupid and I can't believe I did that and whatever else comes to mind. BUT, after that initial outburst, I'll just sigh and carry on with what needs to be done and get over it. I feel it's more a venting process than anything else. Of course if you dwell on it and let it disrupt your life and mood, then yes it is a problem, but as long as it's only an initial thing or even maybe lasting a day, I see nothing wrong with saying that honeysuckle. Sometimes we DO do stupid things, so we call ourselves stupid. It's only when you actually start believing you are always stupid that it becomes a problem.

 

[dd11]

Good points. But, I think we need to "think about what we are thinking about". Sometimes we get stuck when we keep berating ourselves in our own brains or making things into bigger issues by our own thinking.

 

[SofiasMami]

But, I think we need to "think about what we are thinking about". Sometimes we get stuck when we keep berating ourselves in our own brains or making things into bigger issues by our own thinking.

Very good points and you're not the only one who sees it this way. Catastrophic language and thoughts can lead to anxiety and depression. It's also known as cognitive distortion. I'm a big believer in cognitive behavioral therapy and what you described is one of the central ideas there.
I have a book called The Feeling Good Handbook and it's helped me through many bad times. Looks like the author, David Burns, MD has a website and a TED talk too that you might be interested in.

-Teresa

 

[9006]

Good points. But, I think we need to "think about what we are thinking about". Sometimes we get stuck when we keep berating ourselves in our own brains or making things into bigger issues by our own thinking.

I've mentioned before how human brains are bias toward negativity, and negative thought are gonna attract negative words along with other negative thoughts that ultimately produce negative patterns of behaviour... if you let it. And like all bad habits they're just hard to get out of.

 

[SofiasMami]

Yes, 9006, it can be a vicious cycle and hard to get out of especially if one isn't inclined to do much thinking about their own thoughts.
I think the OP is on the right track though.

-Teresa

 

[TheRealCallie]

Good points. But, I think we need to "think about what we are thinking about". Sometimes we get stuck when we keep berating ourselves in our own brains or making things into bigger issues by our own thinking.

I've mentioned before how human brains are bias toward negativity, and negative thought are gonna attract negative words along with other negative thoughts that ultimately produce negative patterns of behaviour... if you let it. And like all bad habits they're just hard to get out of.

Isn't **** near everything in life an "if you let it" situation, though? It's on each person whether they let negativity impact their lives or not. The same applies for pretty much everything really.

 

[9006]

Isn't **** near everything in life an "if you let it" situation, though? It's on each person whether they let negativity impact their lives or not. The same applies for pretty much everything really.

Unfortunately things that are good [for you] never seems to come easy... at least not for anyone I know. Maybe in an ideal world brought up with by an ideal family surrounded by ideal friends and ideal situations things would be far more easy, but when does that ever happen?

 

[SofiasMami]

Yes, 9006, that's a great point.

I would also add that it's often easier to stay within one's own comfort zone than it is to look within ourselves and change. And if distorted thinking is somehow working in a backwards sort of way, the chances of someone doing some soul-searching is pretty low.

-Teresa

 

[TheRealCallie]

Isn't **** near everything in life an "if you let it" situation, though? It's on each person whether they let negativity impact their lives or not. The same applies for pretty much everything really.

Unfortunately things that are good [for you] never seems to come easy... at least not for anyone I know. Maybe in an ideal world brought up with by an ideal family surrounded by ideal friends and ideal situations things would be far more easy, but when does that ever happen?

Most of the things I say are not gotten easily. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be done anyway...or at least attempted.
No one's life is perfect, we all have struggles that could easily break us or that have broken us. You just have to work through them, not only because it's what you SHOULD do, but because it's what you DESERVE. You deserve to be okay with life, at the very least. That takes hard work.

 

[SofiasMami]

Isn't **** near everything in life an "if you let it" situation, though? It's on each person whether they let negativity impact their lives or not. The same applies for pretty much everything really.

Unfortunately things that are good [for you] never seems to come easy... at least not for anyone I know. Maybe in an ideal world brought up with by an ideal family surrounded by ideal friends and ideal situations things would be far more easy, but when does that ever happen?

You deserve to be okay with life, at the very least. That takes hard work.

I agree with that. Most of us here, including me, weren't lucky enough to grow up in ideal families with the perfect mom and perfect dad and avoiding the slippery slopes to anxiety and depression don't come easily. The OP talks about a good way to think differently instead of sabotaging oneself with catastrophic language and thoughts.

-Teresa

 

[TheSkaFish]

I have noticed that people who are stuck, often engage in catastrophic language. As in I ALWAYS do this wrong. Or, this happened to me today and it is a Catastrophe, etc. I think our language colors our perception of the world and affects the way we think about things and our moods. Bumping into someone's fender at the grocery store might be annoying for instance, but do we paint that as more a problem than it really is? It's a minor inconvenience. It's a bit annoying. It may even be a bit of a financial set back. But, how do we talk to ourselves when something like that happens? Do you beat yourself and tell yourself that you are "always messing up", etc. or do you just recognized that maybe you just made a mistake and misjudged the parking spot? Anyway, I guess my point is, I do think it is important to listen to what we say to ourselves and the language we use. Thoughts?

I agree with you. It's something I am trying to change about myself too. I think the language that we use about ourselves plays a big part in our identity, who we think we are, what we think we are capable of, and how we think others perceive us. I am trying to change the language I use about myself to go from "I'm just not good at _____" or something like that, to saying that I'm only inexperienced at it, and that given enough time and practice, I will get better. Or, instead of just saying that I can't do something, I try to change it to I may not know the answer to how to do something today, but it's definitely possible for me to figure it out eventually. I try to change the way I talk about things from saying that the problem is me, to saying that the problem is inexperience or unfamiliarity, something that I can improve upon.