Commentary on ALL

[TheRealCallie]

So now you are telling the people here what they should post? Wow, just wow. They post what they want. They don't care what YOU want them to say, they post what they FEEL. They post to get honeysuckle out, they post for advice.

The way people choose to interpret what others say is a huge part of it. Just because someone interprets something as mean spirited, condescending or vicious or whatever else you rambled on about, doesn't mean that it was.... Just because you FEEL attacked doesn't mean that you WERE attacked.

 

[ladyforsaken]

You're correct in that many users don't intend to hurt or antagonize others. The thing is, intent only counts for so much. Personally speaking, I don't consider intent at all when I feel attacked. I'll venture to say many others are the same way. We joined the board because we already hurt. None of us need to encounter more in a place that's meant to provide help or solace.

I do understand this and yeah, I always believe this forum is a place meant to seek help or find solace and I always think to myself, if I don't give it, there might be no one else to do so. So if I was in an OP's position, I would appreciate any response I get cos the responders bothered to take the extra effort to say something, be it something I want to hear or not, because I know I'm not perfect and I know that I'm not always right.

It's really all up to the OP's discretion how they want to take people's responses.

I know that a lot of people seek empathy, understanding and people who can relate to them and I believe that this can be given, in different forms. OPs or people seeking these things should also try to acknowledge the alternative perspectives given to them.. it doesn't mean they have to agree, it just means that they learn and gain knowledge and understanding from these opposing views and opinions. It doesn't have to always be a debate, unless the OP specifically wants one.

Anyway, this is just my humble opinion on this topic.

 

[Lowlander]

^Kinda what I said in the other thread.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

So now you are telling the people here what they should post? Wow, just wow. They post what they want. They don't care what YOU want them to say, they post what they FEEL. They post to get honeysuckle out, they post for advice.

The way people choose to interpret what others say is a huge part of it. Just because someone interprets something as mean spirited, condescending or vicious or whatever else you rambled on about, doesn't mean that it was.... Just because you FEEL attacked doesn't mean that you WERE attacked.

No. You just want to think I'm attempting to enforce guidelines on people. I can't be bothered trying to control the content of ALL's posts (not that I could even make such a thing happen). Based on past threads, I've noticed the conversations remained low-key when the discussion starter clearly explained the problem and explained specific attempts to correct it. I'm also not sure when a few sentences qualified as "rambling on", but that's for another day.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think the OP of any venting/advice seeking thread should also list attempts to correct whatever problem is plaguing him or her. If an OP gets as specific as possible, the thread has a good chance of progressing smoothly. Not that vagueness permits others to jump in with guns blazing, but it does complicate promising discussions.

Members on forums (any forum) aren't always told all the details. For one reason or another, a lot can be and is left out. So, we either piece things together as the thread progresses, or we are left to question some things. I honestly can't say that I fully blame people for jumping guns or assuming something, especially when the OP is seeking advice and hasn't fully disclosed many details. Assumptions can obviously be wrong, but not always, and guessing is about the only way anyone can string together something sensible if they're not told all of the finer points.

Saying that the original poster should be as specific as possible is a lot easier than actually getting that.

 

[kamya]

Well the honeysuckle gang is all here. honeysuckle storm a brewin', honeysuckle stew a stewin', honeysuckle posts a postin'. Glad I made it just in time before the thread closes. I'm contributing yay!

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Well the honeysuckle gang is all here. honeysuckle storm a brewin', honeysuckle stew a stewin'. Glad I made it just in time before the thread closes. I'm contributing!

Is that...a Jim Lahey reference?

 

[kamya]

Of course =P

 

[SofiasMami]

A few observations:
The forum has had a different atmosphere of late.
Another commenter mentioned ALL is slower in the summer and I believe this is true. - it seems like it's more common to feel Lonely during the holidays, Valentine's Day and in the dark of winter.
On this thread, there's a lot of beating around the bush and vague dancing around what may or may not be problems with the forum.
There are sometimes posts or members who I personally feel are very negative but I feel like they should they given some leeway because they are likeky depressed and Lonely. On the other hand, when a member like theRealCalie jumps into every slightly controversial topic and turns it into a pissing match while shouting everyone else down - this is a problem and it seems to be a consistent problem lately.

I'm hopeful the tone and tenor of the forum will turn around.

-Teresa

 

[ardour]

my post it twas deleted...

 

[TheRealCallie]

A few observations:
The forum has had a different atmosphere of late.
Another commenter mentioned ALL is slower in the summer and I believe this is true. - it seems like it's more common to feel Lonely during the holidays, Valentine's Day and in the dark of winter.
On this thread, there's a lot of beating around the bush and vague dancing around what may or may not be problems with the forum.
There are sometimes posts or members who I personally feel are very negative but I feel like they should they given some leeway because they are likeky depressed and Lonely. On the other hand, when a member like theRealCalie jumps into every slightly controversial topic and turns it into a pissing match while shouting everyone else down - this is a problem and it seems to be a consistent problem lately.

I'm hopeful the tone and tenor of the forum will turn around.

-Teresa

Thank you for proving my point, honey LOL, I just knew it would happen. That's okay, go ahead and blame me. I don't give a fresia.

 

[lifestream]

Teresa, thank you for your input. As always, you're a voice of reason and temperance here on ALL.

I think it's been proven in a number of scientific studies that SAD and holiday-related depression are very real effects on mental health, so your point is well-made.

Also, you're quite correct, there has been a lot of beating around the bush here, all of which was done in the name of diplomacy and has been misinterpreted, for the most part.

We share your hope that the tone and tenor of the forum will turn around.

 

[TheRealCallie]

This thread is so **** hypocritical, it's just hilarious.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Okay, I think this thread has run it's course.