Confidence and being liked? Pfff...

[forbidden]

I know how they say, when you're more confident, people are more liable to like you. I'd like to throw that one as far down the sh*tter as I possibly can. I've met many people who were not confident-at all. In fact, the opposite. And I didn't like them any less. More then that, I wanted to get to know them to help them. I suppose not everyone wants to help, but when I see someone who's sad, I naturally want to be around them.

I see everyone around me being confident and care-free. No social anxiety for them and they certainly have no qualms about sharing their thoughts. I guess what I'm saying is it really sucks to see people around being socially successful, befriending people, making them laugh. There was one time when I could do that, and I miss my old self. I don't know if I'll ever regain that same confidence back, but time will tell.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think someone who exudes confidence is more liable to be liked?

(hope you are all well!)

 

[Sci-Fi]

I agree. I used to know this guy in high school who was very confident despite his excessive acne. He thought he was the honeysuckle and all women wanted him (a bit of an ego on him). Sure he had friends but he really wasn't well liked. Girls wanted nothing to do with him because he was so cocky as well. I don't know where his confidence came from, I kind of envied him because of it, just not the cocky jerk part. He was more the butt of jokes than anything.

I was shy, no confidence, got picked on by the jocks, and by people that didn't even know me. But looking back I'd have to say I was well liked. I could talk to girls (on a friend level not to ask them out), the jocks that didn't pick on me would talk to me and be nice to me. People who I didn't even know but knew my brother and I would say hi to us at school or if we out with friends. So I'd say I was pretty well liked, and had zero confidence.

I have a part time employee that exudes confidence, he's not shy, a bit cocky but in a good way, and he seems to be very well liked. He has lots of friends, is always getting text messages (no matter how many times I tell him to put it away), and I've met a few of his friends. One I joked with about getting paid to be my part timers friend. He laughed and said no he'd pay him. He is a very likeable kid.

It depends on the person and how they project themselves to other people. You don't have to have a lot of confidence to be well liked. Confidence only helps you act on that, to go out and have a life and do something with it. When you have low confidence all you want to do is stay at home or someplace where there aren't a lot of people.

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

I like to consider myself relatively confident. My problem is a lack of social skills and the inability to develop an adequate set.

So while confident, I am mostly unliked and have very few friends.

I have seen people with low self-esteem that were popular and vice versa. Maybe they're just really modest and people like that?

 

[forbidden]

I agree. I used to know this guy in high school who was very confident despite his excessive acne. He thought he was the honeysuckle and all women wanted him (a bit of an ego on him). Sure he had friends but he really wasn't well liked. Girls wanted nothing to do with him because he was so cocky as well. I don't know where his confidence came from, I kind of envied him because of it, just not the cocky jerk part. He was more the butt of jokes than anything.

I was shy, no confidence, got picked on by the jocks, and by people that didn't even know me. But looking back I'd have to say I was well liked. I could talk to girls (on a friend level not to ask them out), the jocks that didn't pick on me would talk to me and be nice to me. People who I didn't even know but knew my brother and I would say hi to us at school or if we out with friends. So I'd say I was pretty well liked, and had zero confidence.

I have a part time employee that exudes confidence, he's not shy, a bit cocky but in a good way, and he seems to be very well liked. He has lots of friends, is always getting text messages (no matter how many times I tell him to put it away), and I've met a few of his friends. One I joked with about getting paid to be my part timers friend. He laughed and said no he'd pay him. He is a very likeable kid.

It depends on the person and how they project themselves to other people. You don't have to have a lot of confidence to be well liked. Confidence only helps you act on that, to go out and have a life and do something with it. When you have low confidence all you want to do is stay at home or someplace where there aren't a lot of people.

This is all so true! Be nice if it were easier to get that confidence...lol

---

I like to consider myself relatively confident. My problem is a lack of social skills and the inability to develop an adequate set.

So while confident, I am mostly unliked and have very few friends.

I have seen people with low self-esteem that were popular and vice versa. Maybe they're just really modest and people like that?

I can be like that too sometimes...it comes and goes. I'm currently working on some new social skills. I'm not sure if the ones I had before are sufficient enough. :S

 

[IgnoredOne]

Confidence does usually draw more comfort from others; belief in yourself can be contagious and does, in fact, seem to make others believe in you as well. Most of this is only a first impression, though; in the case of the guy with acne, appearance is also a large part of first impression and thus a poor appearance substantially detracts from that score.

Its not the same thing as arrogance.

 

[Badjedidude]

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think someone who exudes confidence is more liable to be liked?

Yes. Definitely.

 

[Lollipop286]

People tend to confuse confident with arrogant....nobody likes arrogant.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I actually quite like more than a few arrogant people, but I think they have to set a high standard for themselves. I know this one guy who thinks he is one of the best things since sliced bread and he forces himself to prove it every day - he's an absolute ******* and makes fun of others for failing, but he is /genuinely/ extremely good at his field. I can admire that. People who succeed deserve their pride.

 

[Badjedidude]

I actually quite like more than a few arrogant people, but I think they have to set a high standard for themselves. I know this one guy who thinks he is one of the best things since sliced bread and he forces himself to prove it every day - he's an absolute ******* and makes fun of others for failing, but he is /genuinely/ extremely good at his field. I can admire that. People who succeed deserve their pride.

That's often how it is with extremely talented people.

It's also common with extremely untalented people who happen to be famous.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

SELF CONFIDENCE, SELF WORTH, SELF ESTEEM, SELF WORTH.

Notices..it's not OTHER'S.

Just becuase a person chose to walk a path that everyone else dosnt...
It dosnt necessary mean they're not confidence of themselves.

Sometimes i like to run with the pack. Other times I like to roams free.

Geeze...the fucken whizzzzz. I'm met people from all walks of life
all have thier own stories to tell.

Such as Juliet. I just met her. On the outside lots of guys would be affraid
to approch her just by her beauty alone. Add the intelligent, the car she drives
the clothe she wear, what she dose for a living , where she lives..
It all adds up to be shes a very high class woman.
Some people would see her as a snottie spoil errogant *****.

It would take a guy like me...to understand her. To really see inside of her.
She's very vunable. She has issues and problems like everyone else.
She needs a freind or people she can or want to trust.
Peaple to listen to her or talk to her. She asked me to be her friend straight up.
Not to judge her, not to condemn her. Just be her friend.
She's a human being like everybody else just trying to make it through another day. She has her hopes and dreams just like everyone else.
I saw the tears in her eyes as I stood in her nice big house,
very well decrated, very comfortiable to live in.
I knew why it felt empty to her, ( for the first time)
As she stood there crying.....
I told her I finally understood.
She told me, she's been trying to tell me that for past three
days. It went totally over my head or i fail to actaully hear her.


She bleeds just like me....

 

[Todd]

I've been on both ends of confidence and non confidence. As I look back when I was not so confident, people tended to push away from me. In my case, being non confident had a lot to do with fear and rejection. I didn't believe in myself, so they didn't believe in me. I was putting that out in the air and people were receiving those frequencies from me. Although true, as time went by I started to gain confidence and it seemed like people began to gravitate towards me. I started having an attitude of I don't care what people think and I am going to be me. I don't know but something just changed in me to where I could care less of what someone thinks about me. I guess as one grows and mature, you begin to realize that you have one life to live and if someone doesn't like you "OH WELL!"

 

[paulo]

when your confident your more open towards others i guess.
making it easyer for people to get to know you.
if you feel all shy and insecure your prob hiding yourself a little, all quiet and sitting in a corner like.
keeping people at a distance.

depends on what your looking for.
if you wanne have fun youll be looking for the confident "i dont give a honeysuckle" people and have fun.
mostely people wanne have fun.
so those people are gonne be "liked" more often i guess.

if your a little more serious and want to help people your prob not gonne "like" people like that as much.

 

[Tiina63]

I prefer people who are not very confident because I'm not confident myself and so I can understand them and also I don't feel nervous of them. Very confident people are off putting as they can be a bit pushy and sometimes they don't understand what it feels like to be shy and nervous.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

People tend to confuse confident with arrogant....nobody likes arrogant.

Definitely this. Ignored also has a point that arrogance can be useful motivator sometimes, but it's generally not a likeable trait.

There's also a huge difference between "self-esteem" and "confidence".

You can have good self-esteem but still lack actual confidence to do stuff with it.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

I find it inevitable that people who are confident and socially adept will be more liked by the majority of people around them, at least this is what I collect from things I've seen at school and online. I have known people since childhood who are so confident and fluent in interacting with other people, that they have no problem in finding friendship and getting to where they want to be in life. Unless you have a certain gift or talent about yourself that draws considerable acclaim; there is without a doubt no way anyone without confidence and self esteem can hope to be liked and accepted by many, it's just the way society works.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I read in a book somewhere....

It kind da help me or I had a brain fart
moment.

The book gose into about a sometype
of mystical being. A spirit , god or whatever ..The book left that open to my imagination...

a guy was trying to make sense of his life or trying to find answers.

Then his friend told him sonmething very simple....The spirit was going to accept him or reject him...and it didnt
matter what he did or say. It was up to that spirit to make that chioce....

Then it darn on me....Poeple also were going to accept me or Reject me no matter what I do or dont do....

It makes all the sense in the world...
I didnt do anything...Juliet simply accepted me into her life...just
like many other people had.

I relized this over a year ago.
I became more relax and didnt tried so **** hard to fit in or tried to convience people to like me..such as acting out..

Lots of people had rejected..lots of people had accepted me.
The difference today is...I dont waste
my time going out of my way to get rejected.

---

Even some of my closest friends are awe at some of the people Ive met...mostly when it pretains to women....

They all know I get with pretty girls...and say Im luckie or whatever. Or ask me how do I do it? Get beatiful women or why some beautiful alway come on to me....

My asnwers is...Nothing.

I get rejected by beautiful just the same as I get accepted by beautiful woman...

I dont have self condidence issues becuase confidence is not an issue to me.. In other words it dosnt exisit to me.

My beliefs is...
Im complete, perfect and whole already.
I lack nothing....this includes confidence.