I am absolutely horrible at social interactions. Here I will list my various social problems, mostly just to express myself but also for your entertainment. I would enjoy feedback, but advice isn't necessarily expected of you.
Where to begin....?
.I tend to ramble slightly in my speech. I will say something, and then spend too much time elaborating on what I meant in detail. I find doing so to be completely necessary. I wouldn't want anything I say to be incomplete or unexplained...yet my listener usually finds it to be too much, and starts acting as if they're bored (through body language) and eventually (when I'm done talking) giving me one of those "yeah, I'll pretend I understand but won't give a full response so you'll stop talking" answers.
.When socializing with a group, I will listen to what's being said and wait for a moment to comment or reply to something...but it doesn't work out. I will hear something, and contemplate if I should reply. By that time the conversation has already moved on. I can sometimes also "resurrect" an old discussion topic/idea much later in the conversation after having thought about it more, to which people usually reply "what are you talking about?"
.I don't have good manners. I find most social rules/common practices to be completely arbitrary, and thus I don't follow them. I don't automatically use phrases that others do, and I feel stupid whenever I have to, for example, formally greet everyone at a party. Instead I simply look at someone and make some sort of subtle gesture that acknowledges their presence. This may or may not be due to the fact that I don't actually feel like I care about anyone I know enough to get exited about seeing them, I'm not sure.
.As stated in my introduction, I absolutely abhor any disingenuous and insincere social interaction, which unfortunately seems to be the norm. I am usually very frank about the things that I say to others, and I don't sugarcoat anything to make anyone feel better. This, mixed with being generally opinionated makes people mistake it for complete arrogance. While very honest, I do have some filter about what I do and don't say, but to a lesser degree than others.
.I hate when people are condescending, which adults I know often are. Nuff said.
.my social anxiety causes problems. I often stutter, use the wrong word or phrase, lack eye contact, or have a hard time speaking loudly and in an assertive/clear tone.
.I often correct what people say when they are wrong. This makes them mad, as if I insulted them somehow, which usually leads to an argument. They don't seem to understand that I don't intend to offend them or call them inferior, but just correct a factually incorrect statement that they happened to get wrong.
.Small talk is okay, but it's always taken to extremes. I haven't yet found a social group (aside from the internet) that doesn't focus ENTIRELY on small talk. Between the glib banter of my peers and the shallow pussyfooting conversations of my elders, it seems everyone is too afraid of the real world and thus hide in their little box of sports, gossip, food, and teasing. Never (again, excluding the internet) have I had a lengthy conversation about an actual subject or event, and I can't even function in a social environment where small talking skills are a requirement because I quickly run out of things to say.
Because of these problems:
My family members often criticize me for them, and continually try and "fix me" even though most of these are just characteristics than cause social incompatibilities rather than actual "problems" that must/can be fixed.
My peers/classmates still have some type of "fondness" or "attachment" to me, I have been in school with them all these years and don't harm them, but I am not considered part of the social group...rather just a person that is there. I am always a target for the occasional jerk or hooligan.
Most of my classmates parents don't like me, probably due to some social mistake I made while visiting their home.
Some of my problems might be due to the fact that I don't care about most of the people I currently know, which I think might be circumstantial (because I just don't like these particular people) rather than pathological...hopefully.
I'm sure there's more and I will probably regret forgetting to include the rest, but I can't think of any other things to list at the moment.
So basically, I'm screwed.
Where to begin....?
.I tend to ramble slightly in my speech. I will say something, and then spend too much time elaborating on what I meant in detail. I find doing so to be completely necessary. I wouldn't want anything I say to be incomplete or unexplained...yet my listener usually finds it to be too much, and starts acting as if they're bored (through body language) and eventually (when I'm done talking) giving me one of those "yeah, I'll pretend I understand but won't give a full response so you'll stop talking" answers.
.When socializing with a group, I will listen to what's being said and wait for a moment to comment or reply to something...but it doesn't work out. I will hear something, and contemplate if I should reply. By that time the conversation has already moved on. I can sometimes also "resurrect" an old discussion topic/idea much later in the conversation after having thought about it more, to which people usually reply "what are you talking about?"
.I don't have good manners. I find most social rules/common practices to be completely arbitrary, and thus I don't follow them. I don't automatically use phrases that others do, and I feel stupid whenever I have to, for example, formally greet everyone at a party. Instead I simply look at someone and make some sort of subtle gesture that acknowledges their presence. This may or may not be due to the fact that I don't actually feel like I care about anyone I know enough to get exited about seeing them, I'm not sure.
.As stated in my introduction, I absolutely abhor any disingenuous and insincere social interaction, which unfortunately seems to be the norm. I am usually very frank about the things that I say to others, and I don't sugarcoat anything to make anyone feel better. This, mixed with being generally opinionated makes people mistake it for complete arrogance. While very honest, I do have some filter about what I do and don't say, but to a lesser degree than others.
.I hate when people are condescending, which adults I know often are. Nuff said.
.my social anxiety causes problems. I often stutter, use the wrong word or phrase, lack eye contact, or have a hard time speaking loudly and in an assertive/clear tone.
.I often correct what people say when they are wrong. This makes them mad, as if I insulted them somehow, which usually leads to an argument. They don't seem to understand that I don't intend to offend them or call them inferior, but just correct a factually incorrect statement that they happened to get wrong.
.Small talk is okay, but it's always taken to extremes. I haven't yet found a social group (aside from the internet) that doesn't focus ENTIRELY on small talk. Between the glib banter of my peers and the shallow pussyfooting conversations of my elders, it seems everyone is too afraid of the real world and thus hide in their little box of sports, gossip, food, and teasing. Never (again, excluding the internet) have I had a lengthy conversation about an actual subject or event, and I can't even function in a social environment where small talking skills are a requirement because I quickly run out of things to say.
Because of these problems:
My family members often criticize me for them, and continually try and "fix me" even though most of these are just characteristics than cause social incompatibilities rather than actual "problems" that must/can be fixed.
My peers/classmates still have some type of "fondness" or "attachment" to me, I have been in school with them all these years and don't harm them, but I am not considered part of the social group...rather just a person that is there. I am always a target for the occasional jerk or hooligan.
Most of my classmates parents don't like me, probably due to some social mistake I made while visiting their home.
Some of my problems might be due to the fact that I don't care about most of the people I currently know, which I think might be circumstantial (because I just don't like these particular people) rather than pathological...hopefully.
I'm sure there's more and I will probably regret forgetting to include the rest, but I can't think of any other things to list at the moment.
So basically, I'm screwed.
real friends don't mind about rambling, they would do it too
