Dating site without photos

[LonelyInAtl]

This reminds me of a reality show called Dating In The Dark.

I've always thought that was an interesting concept. I actually thought about partnering with a local "Dinner In The Dark" club to bring the two together. The rough idea would be that the site would be like a normal dating site except no pictures would be involved. People who wanted to meet would have dinner at the restaurant where they could talk and get to know each other in person. After the date, photos would be sent to both parties and if both agreed contact information would be provided. My real job commitments has precluded me from taking this any farther than the concept stages.

And a real life story....

I went to a workshop for a weekend and there were two women that were attending together. The first (Angie) was gorgeous and I tried talking to her. However, over the course of the weekend I talked to her friend (Beth) and actually began to like her better. Angie was very attractive physically, but just didn't have the personality I was looking for. Beth was not my ideal woman physically, but our personalities matched and we had great conversations. We even took off by ourselves during part of the "free time" at the workshop to walk around the lake and get some ideas.

Unfortunately, my shyness precluded me from expressing my feelings...

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I can't imagine any girl wanting to do online dating with me.

I know the feeling. I even tried Tinder just for kicks nad grins. Not a single match in 5 days.

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Iirc it's called Zentai dating. Both people wear this kind of full body suit, so really all you can see of them is their outline. It's all about the person you are

Wouldn't work for me. They'd still be able to see how fat I am.

 

[BeyondShy]

I can't imagine any girl wanting to do online dating with me.

I know the feeling. I even tried Tinder just for kicks nad grins. Not a single match in 5 days.

I am sure I can find something else to get kicks and grins besides having a bunch of women who think you are worthless ignore you.

Just thinking about dating sites makes me mad.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I am sure I can find something else to get kicks and grins besides having a bunch of women who think you are worthless ignore you.

Just thinking about dating sites makes me mad.

I did get a match notification tonight. Unfortunately, it was a bot saying she wanted to have sex with me and to go to a website.

 

[Frostburn]

While I don't think there is anything wrong with such service and if it would be widespread here in Finland I'd probably consider using it, I still think I prefer seeing and showing the face before getting to know too deeply. I wouldn't want to hit it off with someone only to find out that they find my appearence off-putting or vice-versa.

 

[ardour]

Easy to imagine people getting into an awkward situations upon meeting a person they felt a connection to, finding there's zero attraction, then beating themselves up over it.

 

[Tealeaf]

While I don't think there is anything wrong with such service and if it would be widespread here in Finland I'd probably consider using it, I still think I prefer seeing and showing the face before getting to know too deeply. I wouldn't want to hit it off with someone only to find out that they find my appearence off-putting or vice-versa.

Nothing like spending weeks on someone only for it to go dead because personality doesn't matter as much as people would like to think it does.

 

[LonelySutton]

I have never understood the obsession with looks over personality. In 2008, I went looking for a home to live in. Darn it was hard. I needed to have certain things (1) it had to be on the train line, (2) it had to have hardwood floors, (3) it had to have curb appeal; (4) it had to have a heating system that was idiot proof.

After two years of looking I realized there really wasn't anything in MY price range, with all the many long list of what I was looking for. I started going to places that weren't "my first choice" but had potential. Could I do this with it, could I do that with it. Did it have certain key characteristics and, with the rest of it, I could mold it to my likes.

In the same way, when looking for a life companion, I think you have to find someone with certain key characteristics and then, you can mold the rest. I realize it can be easier said than done, but, I don't get why people like "see someone" and get turned off. Not only can you influence someone's looks but I find that *I* and others can look dramatically different... depending on hair color, weight, outfit, etc.

What I find sort of funny now is old boyfriends that did marry and then their wives went to complete heck in a handbasket.

 

[Serenia]

In response to the disappoint in finally seeing the person. But lets just say for a minute that you hit it off amazingly well with them, they tick all the boxes personality wise. But looks wise before you have seen them, they may have been someone you have previously overlooked because of looks, but now the fact you appreciate them so much, you may actually see them differently and find yourself physically attracted to them.

I can actually vouch for this, it did happen to me.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I am sure I can find something else to get kicks and grins besides having a bunch of women who think you are worthless ignore you.

Just thinking about dating sites makes me mad.

I did get a match notification tonight. Unfortunately, it was a bot saying she wanted to have sex with me and to go to a website.

My junk email account is full of honeysuckle like that !

 

[Tealeaf]

In response to the disappoint in finally seeing the person. But lets just say for a minute that you hit it off amazingly well with them, they tick all the boxes personality wise. But looks wise before you have seen them, they may have been someone you have previously overlooked because of looks, but now the fact you appreciate them so much, you may actually see them differently and find yourself physically attracted to them.

I can actually vouch for this, it did happen to me.

I'm glad. I'm just saying that some of us have had the exact opposite experience multiple times, so we're (or at least I'm) not keen to spend weeks building up hope and getting attached to someone instead of getting one of our major barriers out of the way. I'd rather be overlooked based on my appearance by most and talk to a select few who'll give me a second glance than talk to many based on my personality and have almost all of them change their mind down the road.

I'll vouch for the fact that even people who like your personality can and do change their mind if they don't like what they see. It hurts far, far more than not talking to them to begin with, especially when they're trying to be "open-minded" but you can feel a new distance between the two of you that wasn't there before.

For some, this is uncommon and hard to understand because they're fairly good-looking people that appeal to a wide range of tastes. These experiences are not something they have to worry about, and they're not something that winds up leaving an ache in their heart. This can be sugar-coated as much as they'd like, but some of us are just not sought-after in our body type, our complexion, the shapes of our faces, or our mannerisms, and past a point we just want to not worry about it anymore. We want our experience of meeting people to not be tainted by the constant "What if?" that is something so basic as whether or not they'd potentially like to wake up to the physical side of us every morning someday. Or even whether they'd find hugging, kissing, and having sex with us pleasing or not.

We just want to be us, and for people to either like us or find someone they do like.

 

[Serenia]

Fair enough, I understand where you are coming from. .

 

[ardour]

Agree with that; it would really sting, having built up a rapport with someone online only to see their faces drop when they finally see you. Suddenly it's apparent -despite their efforts to hide the fact- that they're no longer interested in talking and just want to get out of the situation.

If you have particularly low self-esteem you might end up feeling guilty for 'doing that to them'.

 

[Jafo]

With all the talk lately of online dating going on on here recently. A number of people here believe it is the photo that is the initital dealbreaker for many people, and that alot of people believe their personality is overlooked.

Anyway something has been niggling away and I remember now, there is a dating site somewhere that purposely has no photos just written profiles. How many people have tried that. It also reminded me of a thread in networking I think called "All The single People". (If someone more patient and tech faster than me wants to add links to these feel free )

So who is up for it, quite a lot of people here wish they had a companion of varying degrees, what is stopping anyone from this? My challenge to you? How do you feel?

Edit: Anyone who feels genuinely afraid please disregard this post and no offence is intended.

I can tell you 100% that it is the photo. People are shallow. The whole "it's what's on the inside that really matters" line is a bunch of bs.

 

[Serenia]

^ No it isn't 100%. Granted there are some shallow people, but there are also lots of people who are not looks orientated too. Just read the thread.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I can tell you 100% that it is the photo. People are shallow. The whole "it's what's on the inside that really matters" line is a bunch of bs.

What She-ra said, it's not 100%. That's for sure. Not everyone is shallow. You'll find that in quite a number of people here on the forum even.

 

[Jafo]

Well, it was 100% in all my dealings with dating sites.

 

[Triple Bogey]

there are problems with not seeing the other person.
I don't think I could 'fall for' words on a screen. Without knowing what the woman looks like, I don't think it would ever happen.
I would be kidding myself.

On the other hand any woman who says she likes (or loves) me without meeting me or knowing what I look like,
would seem false to me. I would think either a scam of some kind or the woman could be very disappointed when she meets me.
I've had on here a woman say she loves me. She didn't even know me.
I always thought (or worried) about the time when she actually met me.
Her attitude certainly changed in a dramatic way after she met me for real.

 

[LonelySutton]

there are problems with not seeing the other person.
I don't think I could 'fall for' words on a screen. Without knowing what the woman looks like, I don't think it would ever happen.
I would be kidding myself.

Couple of years back I met a guy online in a chat situation. We were chatting for a while and we were really getting along. We decided to exchange photos. He was hot. I was kind of stunned. I sent him a photo that probably was one of the best ones I ever took and also, was with a baby making me look all maternal. He went APE crazy. But you know what this little exchange did for me? Ruined things.

First, he just seemed too good looking in the photo. Why is he on chat sites? He also seemed younger looking. I just couldn't get over that. And, in the photo, just the way he looked in that PHOTO, he looked like a player.

Second, it sort of offended me greatly how into looks he seemed to be. I tried to tell him that was a really good photo but somehow he couldn't stop obsessing over it. He was just too into it.

Right now there are a hundred different websites with photos but hardly any without.

 

[Jafo]

Bottom line, it's all about looks for about 99% of people on dating sites. Then there's the 1% of us who aren't shallow and actually look for the good inside someone.

 

[ardour]

I've had on here a woman say she loves me. She didn't even know me.
I always thought (or worried) about the time when she actually met me.
Her attitude certainly changed in a dramatic way after she met me for real.

Really? A member from ALL?
That is extremely odd.