dating sites are depressing

[marfles7]

To me it's a fake world. I've never dated anyone i met on a dating site but i've seen profiles, met people and contacted them but not till the point of dating. It's fake because i see that people look for perfection on a potential partner when in real life they wouldn't. They judge you physically just based on a darn picture. Eharmony is a joke. I joined it to see how it was, and that "can't stand" "likes" section was the stupidest thing i've ever read in my life. Gimme a break. If you hook up with someone, you bet you're gonna find something in him or her that you won't stand. It's ..uhm, human nature. There's gonna be something you won't like about that person, but that's the challenge of a relationship. But i guess eHarmony and all those dating websites want to make you believe that there's someone "perfect" for you, when we all know that a relationship is everything but a perfect disney world.

 

[Disrobed]

I just think of them as meat markets for rich, successful people and little more. The rest of us have to do the drudgery of having to actually meet someone the old fashioned way.."Hello..my name is Joe Spaghettihead and I think you're cute."
Ya know..when I think about it that's no so bad. I think most ladies like to hear they're cute instead of having to sell themselves on a meat market site... Then again..maybe not.. I'm so out of it anymore though..My pick up line would be something like, "Hi..wanna see my booger collection?" :club:

 

[TheWickedOne]

Really? I never get to meet people in real life much. And those I do I usually intimidate, even when I'm not trying...

 

[nerdygirl]

My pick up line would be something like, "Hi..wanna see my booger collection?" :club:

Ohhh yea. That would win me over.

 

[AndrewM]

Disrobed, I really think you've got the wrong idea about those sites. First, they're not just for rich people (although I guess that depends on the site.) And second, it's not a substitute for actually meeting a person and trying to make a connection. You still have to do that - the difference is that you first contact each other online on the pretext that you might actually have something in common. For some people, including myself, it's a lot more preferable than randomly going up to somebody based on their looks - and I'm too shy to ever try that anyway.

I think there is a potential downside. There are a lot of alternative dates only a mouse click away, and so for some people there might be less of an inclination to invest emotionally in a relationship. But I guess whether this is really a downside depends on the maturity of the people involved.

 

[Coverage]

Never bothered with dating sites and dont plan too. Its not like the people on dating sites are different then your average single, looking, person. If I cant get a date in real life then online dating shouldn't deliver any different results. Besides I would like to have physical contact with the girl I'm dating, and not just know her through a computer.

 

[Haz]

I've had some levels of success with personals sites, you can meet a lot of nice people. I've acquired several online friends, which has progressed to the odd meetup for coffee just for fun and even casual sex on occasion. Twice I have met a girl I would consider a genuine love interest, which became a mutual and deeply personal relationship even though it has never progressed over fawning over each other from afar over the internet or telephone. It just wasn't to be, I guess, and getting this far can be more heartbreaking then not having received a contact at all. Still, I have learnt from this and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Keep in mind so many women won't message genuine guys back simply because of how many PM's they constantly get bombarded with that express interest in only one thing, and I can't blame them sometimes. It can be very hard to be individualistic and stand out when you are an anonymous entity online with nothing but a photo and a brief description to show how you differ from everyone else. Also, if you are only contacting women from your local area this limits things even further. Try and branch out a little, there is a wide world out there with a lot of people in it and you simply can't generalise the complex desires and needs of the individual.

Personally, I need a little more "kink" with my desires so websites such as alt.com or fetlife have done wonders for me in this regard. Not everyone is into this world though so I would suggest person.com as probably the best of the free sites.

 

[edgecrusher]

yea i kind of stopped looking at dating sites altoghether. eharmony is supposed to be one of the best, or atleast thats what i have read. anyway, after playing million questions with the site i came back in the 10% or whatever of people that it cant find matches for based on my answers. yea... thats reassuring, thanks for that. i would rather have just not done it.

 

[Drama]

I would rather stay alone my whole life than try to find someone through sites, it's just LIES LIES and LIES

 

[dead]

yeah... Dramaqueen, i have to agree...

 

[Haz]

I would rather stay alone my whole life than try to find someone through sites, it's just LIES LIES and LIES

I don't think this pessimism is the right attitude to adopt, even through half truths with selective wording to paint a better picture of someone it is still an extension of the individual. Most people aren't articulate enough to write something interesting, let alone construct a devious lie.... there is clearly a caution that must be taken interacting with strangers online. My general etiquette is to get to know someone briefly through email, then an instant messaging program. If things go well, we might start talking on the phone. This is the real icebreaker in my opinion, you can't hide behind calculated responses and are forced into a more direct form of communication. It can be nerve wracking for bother parties, but with a little bit of honesty about who you are and an expression of interest in the other person it can be easy to flatter someone and put them at ease.

It is a service. One that comes with the inevitable risk of meeting people who you aren't going to connect to on any level but still, one that can work in a persons benefit with a little bit of effort and luck. There are downsides, but if you approach these with an attitude of shrugging them off you eventually build up a thick skin and start thoroughly understanding the nature of socialising on the internet instead of fearing it. For a natural introvert like me, at the very least it is an option.

 

[h i]

I remember girls always bitching about men 'go by looks' and other honeysuckle. 'girls dont do that' its whats inside that counts. make a male profile on a dating site and dont put a picture, and youre worthless. you wont even get responses from messages you send... let alone get anyone to message you. I see their types. their faces. I know their kind. selective bitches and used up whores. Id rather eat my tongue, then gain their approval.

 

[Haz]

Hello, generalisations.

If someone doesn't message you back, don't take it personally. If you haven't taken the time to try and describe a bit about yourself with your profile and upload a photo, you come off as an anonymous entity and just another horny male begging for attention. Women get bombarded with an almost obscene amount of messages from lonely men online, and even if you are genuine its all too easy to get ignored. This is a shame somewhat, but I find it understandable.

Both men and women can be extremely selective (this certainly didn't originate online), I wouldn't be playing the gender card here.

 

[arkitek4]

May I suggest to you guys instead of using this web site (for lonely people) to log on to Yahoo messenger instead. How can you know for sure about who you are chatting with if you do not see them on cam. Yahoo messenger can do both chatting and camera to camera dating or whatever you call it more efficiently and logically safe.

This site as I believe it to be is for people who's thoughts they want to tell other people without the worry of anyone finding out about their true identity. A site for literature of the people longing for escape from a world that to them was too harsh to them.

I have been using this site to get other a failed dream of the sorts and in a way has helped me go through the first few days of it simply by reading so many stories. Anyway, there are other sites you should go into and this site is as I think not fit for dating, maybe exchange of views, opinions etc about life.

I hope in time we all can find peace of mind.

 

[nerdygirl]

make a male profile on a dating site and dont put a picture, and youre worthless. you wont even get responses from messages you send... let alone get anyone to message you. I see their types. their faces. I know their kind. selective bitches and used up whores. Id rather eat my tongue, then gain their approval.

Good grief. I'm not a selective ***** or a used up whore. Okay, maybe slightly selective, but not based on appearances. When a guy chooses not to post a picture, I get suspicious. What's he hiding? Maybe he's married and he's afraid somebody is going to tell on him. Maybe he's an axe murderer, and frankly, I like my axes to live long and healthy lives. I mean, yea, some women are hypocritical jerks... but I know I'm not the only one who gets uneasy when there's no picture on a dating profile.

 

[Drama]

I would rather stay alone my whole life than try to find someone through sites, it's just LIES LIES and LIES

I don't think this pessimism is the right attitude to adopt, even through half truths with selective wording to paint a better picture of someone it is still an extension of the individual. Most people aren't articulate enough to write something interesting, let alone construct a devious lie.... there is clearly a caution that must be taken interacting with strangers online. My general etiquette is to get to know someone briefly through email, then an instant messaging program. If things go well, we might start talking on the phone. This is the real icebreaker in my opinion, you can't hide behind calculated responses and are forced into a more direct form of communication. It can be nerve wracking for bother parties, but with a little bit of honesty about who you are and an expression of interest in the other person it can be easy to flatter someone and put them at ease.

It is a service. One that comes with the inevitable risk of meeting people who you aren't going to connect to on any level but still, one that can work in a persons benefit with a little bit of effort and luck. There are downsides, but if you approach these with an attitude of shrugging them off you eventually build up a thick skin and start thoroughly understanding the nature of socialising on the internet instead of fearing it. For a natural introvert like me, at the very least it is an option.

Dating someone I've met through a site is just not a real thing...

 

[Haz]

If you've met them in person I don't know why the means through which you met has much to do with it.

 

[AndrewM]

Maybe he's an axe murderer, and frankly, I like my axes to live long and healthy lives.

That's brilliant.

Haz - I completely agree with you, but I think people have different expectations. Poor "h i" is frustrated because dating sites are supposed to make it easier to meet people; which obviously they can do, if people are inclined to want to meet you in the first place. You don't suddenly become attractive simply because you put a profile up. Those who say it's fake are comparing it to face to face interaction. But of course dating sites are only meant to facilitate that kind of interaction, not be a substitute for it.

In the past, people used to meet their partners through community based social networks: churches, unions, town fairs, barn dances, and so on. Those networks are in decline, and things like internet forums, dating sites and facebook are filling the void. Is this a development we should regret? I don't know - but we don't have much of a choice. And so we may as well take advantage of the possibilities which are available.

 

[focused]

A couple of days ago i joined person.com

I recieved a message yesterday with an email providing a link, problem is when i try to login to the site to read the message it says "You are not allowed to login due technical problems. Please try again tomorrow or contact our support team. Error N: -3.

I contacted the support team but they just sent 2 blank automated e-mails in response. Has anyone else here had this problem?

The girl who sent the message is very pretty and she has about 143 comments on her photo page with men saying how hot she is so id like to know what her message says.

 

[henryphillips]

If you feel like the dating site are depressing then live them. In these forum there are lot of interesting people with whom you can share your ideas and feel refreshed. Be confident while chatting with the guys on the dating site and also show some maturity over there for the best results.