Dating sites - What women look for

[Drew88]

yet another thread implying that all women are superficial in nature and are only influenced by appearances. the OP has a desperate need to cling to this belief at all costs. why? because it supports his filter/view of the world and allows him to rest comfortably in his failures knowing that they are not his fault in any way, but are instead the fault of evil women and their evil ways.

i've broken it down to him in a dozen ways in a dozen threads.

it's about "attraction" not "appearance".

yes, appearances obviously generate attraction. but they are not the ONLY thing that generates attraction. being funny generates attraction, being confident generates attraction, being brave generates attraction, being successful or endeavoring to be successful generates attraction, etc etc etc.

also, i would highly recommend that he read some books on attraction/dating as he may unintentionally be coming off as lame, creepy, boring, codependent, or some other highly unattractive quality in his words and images that is stopping women from responding to him on these dating sites.

i don't believe all women are shallow. and to state this as fact is misogynistic and unfair.

yes, women (in general) may have certain tendencies (as a group) - SAME WITH MEN - but people are not "groups", they are "individuals" and should be judged as such.

to the OP, if half the time you spent bitching about how shallow women are was spent bettering yourself (and not just your appearance, but you PERSONALITY, DEMEANOR, EMOTIONS, and GAME), then maybe your next thread will be about the hot piece you got last night?

Yeap, I am Still Screwed.

 

[putter65]

yet another thread implying that all women are superficial in nature and are only influenced by appearances. the OP has a desperate need to cling to this belief at all costs. why? because it supports his filter/view of the world and allows him to rest comfortably in his failures knowing that they are not his fault in any way, but are instead the fault of evil women and their evil ways.

i've broken it down to him in a dozen ways in a dozen threads.

it's about "attraction" not "appearance".

yes, appearances obviously generate attraction. but they are not the ONLY thing that generates attraction. being funny generates attraction, being confident generates attraction, being brave generates attraction, being successful or endeavoring to be successful generates attraction, etc etc etc.

also, i would highly recommend that he read some books on attraction/dating as he may unintentionally be coming off as lame, creepy, boring, codependent, or some other highly unattractive quality in his words and images that is stopping women from responding to him on these dating sites.

i don't believe all women are shallow. and to state this as fact is misogynistic and unfair.

yes, women (in general) may have certain tendencies (as a group) - SAME WITH MEN - but people are not "groups", they are "individuals" and should be judged as such.

to the OP, if half the time you spent bitching about how shallow women are was spent bettering yourself (and not just your appearance, but you PERSONALITY, DEMEANOR, EMOTIONS, and GAME), then maybe your next thread will be about the hot piece you got last night?

the OP is probably blowing off some steam because he is frustrated.

I don't blame him.

Where else can you have a good moan about things ?

There wouldn't be a forum if people just loved everything about their lives !

 

[Trent]

putter65,

you have raised this point over and over again in multiple threads

saying (or implying) that all women are superficial, materialistic, alpha-male whores is misogyny.

just calling it like i see it.

if my "blowing off steam" was ranting about all the things i hate about ... let's say ... african americans or some other minority...

would that be okay with you too?

women, as a class of people, don't deserve to be badmouthed and stereotyped.

---

i post some critical posts about the way that SOME women behave to

but there is a difference between speaking about SOME women

and speaking about ALL women with wide sweeping statements

 

[lolgirl]

what ever it is you say, make it the truth!
no one wants to hear a line, they want to have a sense that you are being real. same as a guy would want.
would be the same for you if you felt that a girl was being phony with you. it's a turn-off.

I had a friend when I was younger that was a good looking guy, and certain girls fell for him easy. but only certain type girls.. the ones who only wanted a fling or a good time. not the girlfriend type if you know what i mean. where as for me, the girls that went for him never gave me a second look. just as the girls that went for me never gave him a second look. my wife (which was my g/f at the time) told me that he had a certain something that was attractive physically, but everything else from his attitude down to the smirk on his face turned off any girls looking for a serious relationship. they want to party with a wild man that has a tight body but not necessarily marry them lol.
in my expirience alot of women are looking for that match, the soul mate that is the other half of a whole. someone they feel comfy with that they can connect with. which by that very deffinition means no 2 are alike.
so really, what opening line you use or how to approach a girl you may like would depend on the type you are looking for.
some want brains, some want muscles and some may look for other things. the key is to find one that is looking for a guy just like you. whether she already knows it or not.

GOOD JOB!!

 

[putter65]

putter65,

you have raised this point over and over again in multiple threads

saying (or implying) that all women are superficial, materialistic, alpha-male whores is misogyny.

just calling it like i see it.

if my "blowing off steam" was ranting about all the things i hate about ... let's say ... african americans or some other minority...

would that be okay with you too?

women, as a class of people, don't deserve to be badmouthed and stereotyped.

---

i post some critical posts about the way that SOME women behave to

but there is a difference between speaking about SOME women

and speaking about ALL women with wide sweeping statements

---

no the original poster was blowing off steam, eg complaining about his lot. Bit like me. I can't be arsed to put SOME in front of everytime I write the word woman. I know what I mean. Im not having a go at all women, just the ones I come across. Ive made that point several times already. Everybody likes a winge. This is the place !

 

[Trent]

no the original poster was blowing off steam, eg complaining about his lot.

complaining about "his lot" would consist of him telling personal stories about experiences that he has had.

that isn't what he is doing.

he is making dozens of threads that are filled with sweeping generalizations toward the entire female gender, sometimes outright calling them superficial and otherwise attacking their character, but most of the time it is being passive-aggressively implied that ALL WOMEN are gold-digging, sex-rutting, hormone-driven SheBeasts that will only fresia male models.

you call that venting.

i call that misogyny.

you got a Mom?

 

[putter65]

no the original poster was blowing off steam, eg complaining about his lot.

complaining about "his lot" would consist of him telling personal stories about experiences that he has had.

that isn't what he is doing.

he is making dozens of threads that are filled with sweeping generalizations toward the entire female gender, sometimes outright calling them superficial and otherwise attacking their character, but most of the time it is being passive-aggressively implied that ALL WOMEN are gold-digging, sex-rutting, hormone-driven SheBeasts that will only fresia male models.

you call that venting.

i call that misogyny.

you got a Mom?

i give up.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

That is pretty much common sense.

If I send an email to someone, it's because I find them physically attractive. If they don't send me an email back, I know that they think I am not physically attractive enough to do so.

That is why I feel that online dating is a sham. It's a popularity contest. And, for the most part, I don't enjoy competing with other men. I'd rather be myself, and have someone fall in love for who I am, rather than have to deal with all of that.

 

[blackdot]

That is why I feel that online dating is a sham. It's a popularity contest. And, for the most part, I don't enjoy competing with other men. I'd rather be myself, and have someone fall in love for who I am, rather than have to deal with all of that.

Part of that is in writing a profile that shows who you are. There have been women on the dating sites who would have not contacted me on photo alone but my profile is so unique, funny, and long that it gets women to respond. I hates sales/marketing but that's part of how the profile has to work.
If a woman is solely basing their contacts on looks, then I'm out. But if sometimes I can sale them on the profile.

I had a friend once tell me that I have to be myself on the sites. She had a crush on me but she had been married before so I wasn't interested in her. Luckily we didn't hook up since she found a guy that was absolutely perfect for her. She knew how I have a really fun and humorous side that people love and that I have to show that side. You want someone to fall for the person you are, not the person they thought you are but is not who you are.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

That is why I feel that online dating is a sham. It's a popularity contest. And, for the most part, I don't enjoy competing with other men. I'd rather be myself, and have someone fall in love for who I am, rather than have to deal with all of that.

Part of that is in writing a profile that shows who you are.

I'll bet that very few people get to the profile part if they don't find you pleasing to the eye.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Someone saying they only look at the profiles where they find the profile picture attractive is just common sense. Look at couples walking down the street for example, are they all stunning examples of the human form or are most just average people of all shapes and sizes? I'm assuming these couples are all "attracted" to each other... unless they were forced into a relationship at gunpoint. If you assume that no one will ever find you attractive, I think as a starting point you're pretty much doomed.

That said I don't really see the OP as being misogynist, they just have a bit of an odd and very literal interpretation of the phrase "attractive". I remember someone posting that they weren't interested in anyone that wasn't attractive to them on here a while back and they got a bit of a panning for it, for being too picky and being shallow. I don't really think that was the case at all, I'm sure if you saw some examples of the sorts of women they mean when they state 'attractive' or 'hot' a lot of people would understand a bit more. They are probably not setting their sites ridiculously high and only chasing models at all, but everyone wants someone with a little spark about them.

"Attractive" is such an interpretive word and I think people's points on here often get lost in semantics with those women in the OP post being a case in point.

 

[blackdot]

For the most part, I know they look at the profile even if they don't read it all. Mine is very long so some would be scared away but most are going to be curious.

On Match, you can tell. If you send an e-mail and they never view your profile, then their picture won't show up on the front page. If they clicked to view the profile though, they will be on the front page.

 

[putter65]

Someone saying they only look at the profiles where they find the profile picture attractive is just common sense. Look at couples walking down the street for example, are they all stunning examples of the human form or are most just average people of all shapes and sizes? I'm assuming these couples are all "attracted" to each other... unless they were forced into a relationship at gunpoint. If you assume that no one will ever find you attractive, I think as a starting point you're pretty much doomed.

That said I don't really see the OP as being misogynist, they just have a bit of an odd and very literal interpretation of the phrase "attractive". I remember someone posting that they weren't interested in anyone that wasn't attractive to them on here a while back and they got a bit of a panning for it, for being too picky and being shallow. I don't really think that was the case at all, I'm sure if you saw some examples of the sorts of women they mean when they state 'attractive' or 'hot' a lot of people would understand a bit more. They are probably not setting their sites ridiculously high and only chasing models at all, but everyone wants someone with a little spark about them.

"Attractive" is such an interpretive word and I think people's points on here often get lost in semantics with those women in the OP post being a case in point.

I have to be attracted to a woman to be interested.

But then again it's all sorts of things that I find attractive not just a pretty face. Personality, clothes, smile, figure, interests etc