Descent into the madness of disposability

[EveWasFramed]

I think I've decided that opening your heart up to someone isn't worth the pain of having a barbed instrument shoved into it at any given moment.

*nods* I agree.

:club: WTF is wrong with people? We're ******* amazing.

I know, right? Sheesh, people are totally missing out.
Eve <3

We'll come into our own, Lady F. Someone will figure out what others don't seem to know.

 

[stork_error]

Maybe its the fact that much of society is dysfunctional and only wants a challenge, or something to conquer or someone to change.

Give them normal and they are bored. Give them yourself and they want something else…

I'm so past caring about the psychological problems of human beings to be honest and watching them take for granted good things, and chase after trash. And use strange useless ideals to evaluate a potential spouse…

I'm sorry that you have faced this drama, its just shitty, really shitty.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Maybe its the fact that much of society is dysfunctional and only wants a challenge, or something to conquer or someone to change.

Give them normal and they are bored. Give them yourself and they want something else…

I'm so past caring about the psychological problems of human beings to be honest and watching them take for granted good things, and chase after trash. And use strange useless ideals to evaluate a potential spouse…

I'm sorry that you have faced this drama, its just shitty, really shitty.

Thanks, Stork. Sounds like you've had some experience with it as well.

 

[zero]

I think I've decided that opening your heart up to someone isn't worth the pain of having a barbed instrument shoved into it at any given moment.

Hug, Eve.
Maybe this time of the year isnt`t very helpful either. Such a decision is a tough one, maybe you change your mind. I`m always saddened when I see people (myself included) make it. But then again, who knows what is best at any given time. Trust your instincts!

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think I've decided that opening your heart up to someone isn't worth the pain of having a barbed instrument shoved into it at any given moment.

Hug, Eve.
Maybe this time of the year isnt`t very helpful either. Such a decision is a tough one, maybe you change your mind. I`m always saddened when I see people (myself included) make it. But then again, who knows what is best at any given time. Trust your instincts!

Thank you, Zero. <3

 

[jaguarundi]

We live in an increasingly disposable world. An impolite world, and an egocentric world.

Some people reflect this, being shits, selfish arseholes and fools. Unfortunately it isn't always easy to spot incipient arseholery straight off, so you form a connection, and then ... Hang on a minute **sniff sniff** what's that godawful fecking smell?

Ah yes, tis an arsehole. Oh bugger! Move away quickly and keep going.... ****, why didn't I notice sooner? Because it is actually not a bad thing to give people the benefit if the doubt, for a while anyway.

But that isn't always the reason for crap behaviour in men, or women. Sometimes I think it's fear. I think we live half our lives afraid. To be loved, and to love. We think we want it, we think we want intimacy but it scares a lot of us shitless. We are afraid of being known, truly, by other people. So we make an excuse and leave.

That and we are lazy and can't be bothered to work at relationships. They are a lot harder work than we like to admit and some people just don't want to put the hours in, basically.

And at the end of the day, facing Christmas alone with the pets, I have my own finger on the remote control, don't have to get up and make a Godzilla mother-in-law happy, listen to racist jokes from a drunk police officer brother in law, or cook a vegan meal as well as gluten free for another relative.

( Life has many compensations. Not having to buy,cook or eat bloody gluten free pasta is but one of them)

The reward for being strong is that you get to keep proving it. Its a pain sometimes, but there it is.

 

[EveWasFramed]

We live in an increasingly disposable world. An impolite world, and an egocentric world.

Some people reflect this, being shits, selfish arseholes and fools. Unfortunately it isn't always easy to spot incipient arseholery straight off, so you form a connection, and then ... Hang on a minute **sniff sniff** what's that godawful fecking smell?

Ah yes, tis an arsehole. Oh bugger! Move away quickly and keep going.... ****, why didn't I notice sooner? Because it is actually not a bad thing to give people the benefit if the doubt, for a while anyway.

But that isn't always the reason for crap behaviour in men, or women. Sometimes I think it's fear. I think we live half our lives afraid. To be loved, and to love. We think we want it, we think we want intimacy but it scares a lot of us shitless. We are afraid of being known, truly, by other people. So we make an excuse and leave.

That and we are lazy and can't be bothered to work at relationships. They are a lot harder work than we like to admit and some people just don't want to put the hours in, basically.

And at the end of the day, facing Christmas alone with the pets, I have my own finger on the remote control, don't have to get up and make a Godzilla mother-in-law happy, listen to racist jokes from a drunk police officer brother in law, or cook a vegan meal as well as gluten free for another relative.

( Life has many compensations. Not having to buy,cook or eat bloody gluten free pasta is but one of them)

The reward for being strong is that you get to keep proving it. Its a pain sometimes, but there it is.

Words of wisdom, as always. You have a way of bringing clarity to things, J.
I've missed you terribly and wish you were around more. I love you.

 

[jaguarundi]

We live in an increasingly disposable world. An impolite world, and an egocentric world.

Some people reflect this, being shits, selfish arseholes and fools. Unfortunately it isn't always easy to spot incipient arseholery straight off, so you form a connection, and then ... Hang on a minute **sniff sniff** what's that godawful fecking smell?

Ah yes, tis an arsehole. Oh bugger! Move away quickly and keep going.... ****, why didn't I notice sooner? Because it is actually not a bad thing to give people the benefit if the doubt, for a while anyway.

But that isn't always the reason for crap behaviour in men, or women. Sometimes I think it's fear. I think we live half our lives afraid. To be loved, and to love. We think we want it, we think we want intimacy but it scares a lot of us shitless. We are afraid of being known, truly, by other people. So we make an excuse and leave.

That and we are lazy and can't be bothered to work at relationships. They are a lot harder work than we like to admit and some people just don't want to put the hours in, basically.

And at the end of the day, facing Christmas alone with the pets, I have my own finger on the remote control, don't have to get up and make a Godzilla mother-in-law happy, listen to racist jokes from a drunk police officer brother in law, or cook a vegan meal as well as gluten free for another relative.

( Life has many compensations. Not having to buy,cook or eat bloody gluten free pasta is but one of them)

The reward for being strong is that you get to keep proving it. Its a pain sometimes, but there it is.

Words of wisdom, as always. You have a way of bringing clarity to things, J.
I've missed you terribly and wish you were around more. I love you.

Thank you, adorable Eve. I love me too! ** snorts laughing**

Seriously baby, Just because someone "disposes" of you doesn't mean you are disposable. I dropped my Visa card in the wastebasket this morning (truly, I really did). Does it mean the card was disposable or that I was a careless twat?

I rest my case...

 

[EveWasFramed]

We live in an increasingly disposable world. An impolite world, and an egocentric world.

Some people reflect this, being shits, selfish arseholes and fools. Unfortunately it isn't always easy to spot incipient arseholery straight off, so you form a connection, and then ... Hang on a minute **sniff sniff** what's that godawful fecking smell?

Ah yes, tis an arsehole. Oh bugger! Move away quickly and keep going.... ****, why didn't I notice sooner? Because it is actually not a bad thing to give people the benefit if the doubt, for a while anyway.

But that isn't always the reason for crap behaviour in men, or women. Sometimes I think it's fear. I think we live half our lives afraid. To be loved, and to love. We think we want it, we think we want intimacy but it scares a lot of us shitless. We are afraid of being known, truly, by other people. So we make an excuse and leave.

That and we are lazy and can't be bothered to work at relationships. They are a lot harder work than we like to admit and some people just don't want to put the hours in, basically.

And at the end of the day, facing Christmas alone with the pets, I have my own finger on the remote control, don't have to get up and make a Godzilla mother-in-law happy, listen to racist jokes from a drunk police officer brother in law, or cook a vegan meal as well as gluten free for another relative.

( Life has many compensations. Not having to buy,cook or eat bloody gluten free pasta is but one of them)

The reward for being strong is that you get to keep proving it. Its a pain sometimes, but there it is.

Words of wisdom, as always. You have a way of bringing clarity to things, J.
I've missed you terribly and wish you were around more. I love you.

Thank you, adorable Eve. I love me too! ** snorts laughing**

Seriously baby, Just because someone "disposes" of you doesn't mean you are disposable. I dropped my Visa card in the wastebasket this morning (truly, I really did). Does it mean the card was disposable or that I was a careless twat?

I rest my case...

Lol!!!!

I suppose I never gave much thought to fear as a reason, but one of the gentleman did mention something about being afraid. I admit to unconsciously discounting that reason, now that I give it more thought. Unfair on my part.
Maybe that will happen to me as well, but it's a foreign concept to me, to let fear keep me from getting involved with someone I'm interested in (and who is also interested in me). We're all different I suppose.
Bless you, I'm still chuckling at the credit card thing.

 

[ABrokenMan]

I think Eve should write a memoir about failed relationships someday, the thread title is most apropos for the title of the book.
Or, a movie script waiting to be written.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think Eve should write a memoir about failed relationships someday, the thread title is most apropos for the title of the book.
Or, a movie script waiting to be written.

Actually....

I have several paragraphs of random stories and thoughts, not strung together in any order, of my experiences over the past year or so. I have a number of emails that were random rants and outpourings of verbal vomit that spewed forth from my memory over the past three years. I've been told, on more than one occasion, that I should string these writings/experiences together as a dating manual of sorts.

 

[kamya]

Welcome back Jag! We miss you here dood.

 

[SofiasMami]

Where the heck have you been, Jag? Nice to see you back!

-Teresa

 

[TropicalStarfish]

:-/

 

[EveWasFramed]

:-/

Aww Tropies. I <3 Yesms. (goo)

 

[TheWalkingDead]

I am not here much but it pains me to hear of your sufferings Eve

I can't really explain why people do what they do, I think behind a lot of people's actions there is a lot of suffering and sometimes it's jolly well inexplicable.

I remember getting dumped on Christmas Eve in 2006, that wasn't a pleasant experience!

I have learned not to turn the actions of others in on myself and then reflect it back outwards (I guess that's a definition of bitterness?) I've had my share of despair and loss, and am more realistic these days, but not bitter (at least I hope).

I haven't much to say except I hear and understand your pain.

For some reason this poem sprang to mind:

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

(Mary Oliver)

 

[ardour]

Maybe its the fact that much of society is dysfunctional and only wants a challenge, or something to conquer or someone to change.

Give them normal and they are bored. Give them yourself and they want something else…

I'm so past caring about the psychological problems of human beings to be honest and watching them take for granted good things, and chase after trash. And use strange useless ideals to evaluate a potential spouse…

I'm sorry that you have faced this drama, its just shitty, really shitty.

Yes, a lot of people seem to only want -or respect- what they can't have, what is elusive. It might be just a lack of maturity, something uglier, who can tell.

Offer yourself up as a straightforward, normal person, and this is dull, not valued. Solution: find your inner sociopath, Eve, and watch em fall for you.

 

[Batman55]

Offer yourself up as a straightforward, normal person, and this is dull, not valued. Solution: find your inner sociopath, Eve, and watch em fall for you.

I second this. Selfishness can be a good thing. Or find some other way to turn on the "suspense" factor, lol. Guys like a girl who has a dark side.. and isn't afraid to show it. (Methinks, anyway...)

 

[ardour]

Offer yourself up as a straightforward, normal person, and this is dull, not valued. Solution: find your inner sociopath, Eve, and watch em fall for you.

I second this. Selfishness can be a good thing. Or find some other way to turn on the "suspense" factor, lol. Guys like a girl who has a dark side.. and isn't afraid to show it. (Methinks, anyway...)

I don't and that was (really bad) sarcasm.

Some men seem to enjoy chasing after women who give them the hot n cold treatment, throwing away a perfectly good marriage/relationship in the process. Disgusting, but that's the way they're put together.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Guy 1: Hit it off very well. He literally wouldn't let me go home after we had dinner the first time. He was CLEARLY smitten. Eventually I convinced him I'd go out with him again so he let me go. He peppered me with texts and phone calls and then came date number two. It went fine as well. He kept up with the texts and calls for a week. Then POOF. Nothing. Two months later, he texts that he has been busy, really misses me, etc. Reluctantly, I agree to another date. Same thing as before...he was delighted to see me and we had a great time. Texts and calls for another week. Then nothing. I never heard from him after that.
Again, disposable.

LMAO...kiddo and I ran into this guy at the grocery store this evening.
Hi smiled widely and said, "Hi! How have you been?"
I sad, "Fine thanks." And then the kiddo and I hastily made our way to another isle, leaving him looking a bit nonplussed.
LOL, it was a bit awkward, but once the moment was over, I chuckled a bit to myself. I had to wonder why he looked nonplussed, considering what he did.
The icky feeling of being disposable only last a few minutes. After that, I was fine and he was just someone else from my past.
Progress is lovely.