Do psychologists help?

[--Lanie--]

Have you ever tried going to a psychologist with your friendlessness-problem?
Do you think a psychologist can help? If yes, to what extent do you think he/she can help..? is it just finding out how a problem started and what cauzed it (which is certainly interesting to know) or is it about helping you overcome your shyness or whatever else it is that causes you to be friendless..?

 

[Unacceptance]

Thought about it, but no.

 

[--Lanie--]

why no?

 

[Unacceptance]

Well I sort of have a problem with the whole idea of being taught what is normal or healthy when it comes to matters of the mind.

I sometimes think maybe I'm better off being the way I am, because at least I'm genuinely me.

For the most part i know why I am the way I am, and I don't know if I necessarily need a personality change or a mannerism adjustment. If I did I'd rather it come from within than with someone else coaching me on how to become more like the image they imagine I should be like.

 

[breakthecycle]

I've been going to to a psychologists for over a year now ( I stopped going 3 months ago though)

It has helped me explaning the way i feel better, and getting some honeysuckle from my past of my chest was a good feeling.

However it didn't change my case (no friends etc.) I guess im just waiting for a mircale

 

[The-One]

Well I had to see a psychologist when I was younger, also when I was forced to take prozac.

I found I argued with her a lot, not like violent but I just kind of disagreed with her. her opinion of me was that I was very stubborn.

I mean it was nice to have someone to talk to. but it changed nothing

 

[DayvanCowboy]

I really don't think a psychologist is the best way to solve your social issues when it comes to finding a friend. Especially if you're situation is about you being in a new high school. I think it would be a waste of time to be honest with you. Psychologists are best used for people who have gone through things in life that have left them emotionally crippled. Experiences that have brought them to the brink. That is how I see it.

If you have no other options and can't find a way to get friends yourself, then by all means go ahead. Maybe try some counseling first.

 

[--Lanie--]

I sometimes think maybe I'm better off being the way I am, because at least I'm genuinely me.

i on the other hand would want to be told what to do.. The more precisely the better. I actually searched the internet hoping to find something. The closest result was "a glam girl's life" or something.. But those were mainly books too, and if not it was mainly advices on how to dress only... and i would like something like every day schedule, including the number of hours for homework, the number of times a week to hang out with friends, well maybe dress too (tho i've read a lot about it and don't have a problem with that particular aspect), EVERYTHING!

I think there's nothing for me to lose, apparently my personality hasn't been "shaped" entirely yet so i'm trying to "choose its shape". Like all of my friends have some bright personality, like some "image" to them -- one is totally glamour, another is kind of harsh and boy-ish, the third one is a kind of a "bad girl".. and i'm the only "nothing in particular" person..

 

[Spare]

It is difficult to advise someone on this issue. A psychologist could prove to be very helpful for one person and not at all for another; it depends on the individual.

The only real way to know for sure is to give it a try and see if it works for you. And if it doesn't work, there's nothing saying you have to keep going.

 

[Unacceptance]

I sometimes think maybe I'm better off being the way I am, because at least I'm genuinely me.

i on the other hand would want to be told what to do.. The more precisely the better. I actually searched the internet hoping to find something. The closest result was "a glam girl's life" or something.. But those were mainly books too, and if not it was mainly advices on how to dress only... and i would like something like every day schedule, including the number of hours for homework, the number of times a week to hang out with friends, well maybe dress too (tho i've read a lot about it and don't have a problem with that particular aspect), EVERYTHING!

I think there's nothing for me to lose, apparently my personality hasn't been "shaped" entirely yet so i'm trying to "choose its shape". Like all of my friends have some bright personality, like some "image" to them -- one is totally glamour, another is kind of harsh and boy-ish, the third one is a kind of a "bad girl".. and i'm the only "nothing in particular" person..

Just move to a fascist state. They'll tell you.

 

[jjam]

It's funny. I just spent about 20 minutes alone in my kitchen with a cup of water and a roll talking to a psychiatrist. Of course, there wasn't actually anyone there. My lips were moving, but there was no sound coming from my mouth, minus the occasional whispers. I played both sides. It was an interesting session.

 

[Unacceptance]

It's funny. I just spent about 20 minutes alone in my kitchen with a cup of water and a roll talking to a psychiatrist. Of course, there wasn't actually anyone there. My lips were moving, but there was no sound coming from my mouth, minus the occasional whispers. I played both sides. It was an interesting session.

You didn't recommend you go burn down an orphanage or something though, right?

 

[luciddisconnect]

Briefly:

First you've got to get a good counselor. Some are good some aren't.

Then you have to find a way of really honestly discussing your life with that person. This may be difficult. Usually the most important stuff will be more difficult to approach. Just because there is doctor patient confidentiality doesn't mean the relationship doesn't take time to develop trust.

I believe that a psychologist / counselor can help you see your life from a different perspective. In my own experience there was one connection in my social development that I hadn't made that a counselor helped me with. Something about shutting off vocal inflection.

There are two common approaches that I know of in clinical psychology:
1. Understanding a patients developmental history to understand how he came to be as he is.
2. Alternately some counselors are far more about what actions can be taken to change negative behaviors than they are about analyzing the past.
I think a good counselor strikes a balance between the two approaches.

The last counselor I had also did relaxation exercises with me that I really enjoyed.

Of course there's only so much a counselor can do for you. They can't get involved in your life outside of therapy.

Stay away from psych. meds. unless you are really a threat to yourself or are totally desperate, by the way. They aren't worth the mind-fresia for low grade depression.

 

[Bluey]

I think it can help some ppl but not other ppl. Depends on the problems a person is having.

I know what my problems are am just not able to do anything about them. All though I come on here and rant about them I don't most of the time see what talking to a psychologists is going to do for me.

 

[johnjohn]

I sometimes think maybe I'm better off being the way I am, because at least I'm genuinely me.

i on the other hand would want to be told what to do.. The more precisely the better. I actually searched the internet hoping to find something. The closest result was "a glam girl's life" or something.. But those were mainly books too, and if not it was mainly advices on how to dress only... and i would like something like every day schedule, including the number of hours for homework, the number of times a week to hang out with friends, well maybe dress too (tho i've read a lot about it and don't have a problem with that particular aspect), EVERYTHING!

I think there's nothing for me to lose, apparently my personality hasn't been "shaped" entirely yet so i'm trying to "choose its shape". Like all of my friends have some bright personality, like some "image" to them -- one is totally glamour, another is kind of harsh and boy-ish, the third one is a kind of a "bad girl".. and i'm the only "nothing in particular" person..

Hi Lanie,

Well I went to a counsellor/psychologist/Psychiatrist whateve rtag you want to give them. It really depends on their approach to your problem. sometimes helps you see why you are what you are. Mine basically thought my reaction to what happened in my relationship was normal and it is my wife who should be seeing her!!! I totally agreed but my wife refused! So i stopped going, sometimes i felt more upset after a session cause, like another member mentioned, I know why i am like i am at this time and i know what i need to do to overcome it. It just takes time in my situation, doesn't make it any easier. Lanie you seem to need someone to tell you how to structure your life? Well i suppose all things in moderation is a good idea to start with but as a father of a 17/18 year old who is finishing college this would be my advice:

1. Concentrate on your school work, this will be the foundation for the rest of your life. Study hard and do your homework, absolute priority. You can always party another day.

2. Be yourself and do not try to be like others around you or who you see on TV.

3. Help around the house! If you don't already. Wherever you live with parents or friends do your share.

4. Look after yourself, do some excercise or walk/run regularly and eat a healthy diet. Maybe cook for the others in your house once a week?

5. By all means party, but you are in a different place now. When my daughter eventually goes to the UK she will also get a shock as she has so much freedom here and it is safer for her too, she will have to adjust.

I could go on but i am sounding like a nagging parent!

Stop worrying about how your time should be split up you will soon have your own schedule, doing what you enjoy, which others will have to fit in with.

Stop worrying, you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take Care
John XXX (aka nagging parent! LOL)

 

[Alvaro]

Have you ever tried going to a psychologist with your friendlessness-problem?
Do you think a psychologist can help? If yes, to what extent do you think he/she can help..? is it just finding out how a problem started and what cauzed it (which is certainly interesting to know) or is it about helping you overcome your shyness or whatever else it is that causes you to be friendless..?

Well it depends. Some psychologists are highly proficient in their area and some just suck. It depends who you visit.

Well they can help if one is willing to make themselves more accessible by providing more information about one's self, and/or giving your trust to them(something I found very extremely difficult to do when I first visited them).

But ultimately, I believe that you should just hang around this forum and chat with more people like you mentioned in a separate topic(on "How much Socializing is Normal"), and everything will be okay. Like JohnJohn, and the others said, just party.

 

[Pasha Selim]

I am a long-term patient/client of psychiatrist/psychologist and I think the results of therapy may vary from simple vent to completely change your destiny. I think most of all depends on how deep is the problem and (pay attention) the age when you start to see a psychologist. And I agree there are incompetents in this area too.
A big problem for me is money. I can't afford a steady, thorough therapy.

Anyway I recommend you 100% go to psychologist.

 

[Freya]

One of my friends saw a counsellor a few years ago & tlked through something that had happened when she was younger...she has always spoken very favourably about the experience & feels it helped her resolve that particular issue...

Me: I'm not sure yet?

 

[--Lanie--]

It's funny. I just spent about 20 minutes alone in my kitchen with a cup of water and a roll talking to a psychiatrist. Of course, there wasn't actually anyone there. My lips were moving, but there was no sound coming from my mouth, minus the occasional whispers. I played both sides. It was an interesting session.

You can use a diary for that. By the way a diary is a nice way to relief yourself from stress and confusion.. once you start writing down your worries and concerns everything starts falling back into place and soon you can see a way out of a situation and it turns out everything was not as confusing as it felt when you were just thinking about it..