Do you ever think that maybe you are better off alone?

[Xpendable]

[video=youtube]

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I don't want my family changing my diapers either. I guess I'm laying in it. Or not getting old.

 

[GrayAndLonesome]

I don't want my family changing my diapers either. I guess I'm laying in it. Or not getting old.

Haha, you don't really think of your future, do you? Good luck, lonely amy!

Right now you can walk, talk, and do daily tasks. When you get old, you will need somebody to take you to the bathroom, and while staff in the nursing homes (if you even live that long, LOL!) are helpful, there are many times when it gets really busy, and you, my poor amy, will be lying in your feces and piss, getting bed sores, because no family members visit you, nobody comes to see you. This is why it's important to have a spouse and kids (assuming you take good care of them where they respect you and in turn, take great care of you when you hit your elderly years). So whatevers, enjoy your single lonely life for now.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Single, lonely life? I have 3 children. But thank you.

 

[roy1986]

HELLL NOOOO!!!

I am never ever better off alone.

No effing way!

Roy, listen, you need to pick up your game and somehow go online, do some dating, or go out to the shopping mall and order some food and chat with some of the female workers.

How old are you, BTW?

Alright, while I don't make a thread for all of my relationships I've had, I did go to a shopping mall last week Friday, saw this attractive girl working at a shoe store, I was in some good clothes, and no, I did not bother to get her phone number. But I did have a good time chatting with her.

I have worked in nursing homes in the past, and I will tell you guys, when you get old, you want to have somebody to be with, somebody to come and visit you.

You don't want to be the old lonely guy or woman lying in bed, sh-tting in his or her diapers, and the employees let you lay there because no family members come to visit you.

This is the kind of scenario that I highly dread, and which is why I'm highly ambitious to find a girlfriend and get married soon (and of course have kids, etc.).

I hate coming home from work, nobody to talk to. Yeah, I can text my friends, but they work regular schedule during the day time. I want to have kids to play with, I want to have a wife to chat with, sleep with, etc.

So no, lonely life is a big no-no for myself.

But if that's your cup of tea, well, then enjoy your quiet solitude life.

Well, I do date every once in a while but I'm getting extremely sick of it, because I'm too tried being played with and trying to please another human being, while I am myself, very unhappy and unsatisfied with her. 


Anyway it's just me frustrated, I guess I'll keep on searching because not doing so is against basic human DNA, yet you can see why I'm so tired of it.

 

[Tealeaf]

Trust is an issue for me, too. It is for a lot of people who've been hurt or had to live life off the beaten path. I've dealt with so many lies in my lifetime, and even attempted rape.

I'm in my late 20's now and not getting any younger. There are a lot of things I want to do besides date, or struggle in poorly-fitting relationships. Depression finally slipped away a year or so ago, and I'm tired of feeling bad. I'm tired of doing things that make me feel bad. I look back on the relationships I've had over the years, and while some of them I remember fondly I think many of them I could easily have done without.

Dating is an unhappy experience for me. Most recently, I met someone who seemed talkative, friendly, and into many of the same things as me. As soon as we started dating, they dropped the mask. Their social anxiety was so severe in a real relationship where they felt vulnerable, everything from the sex to the conversation tapered off and went off-kilter. I experienced some big moments of my life without them there. They didn't tell me why any of this was happening. I learned just before we broke up that they'd worn that mask, after paining myself trying to understand.

Best I can offer is to be patient and select those people (if any) who prove worthwhile. If they stick with you, if they're honest, if they're good, trustworthy people, then great. If not, business as usual.

I've made some good friends online, and there are probably other lonely locals feeling disappointed that their old circles of friends have crumbled. There's time to learn musical instruments, time to do things to make other people smile, time to reconnect with family. Time to do a lot of other things besides cry over boys like I'm still 16.

 

[pokétrek]

People hurt me, stress me out, depress me, but then when i'm not around them I feel lonely. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

 

[kamya]

I'm in my late 20's now and not getting any younger. There are a lot of things I want to do besides date, or struggle in poorly-fitting relationships. Depression finally slipped away a year or so ago, and I'm tired of feeling bad. I'm tired of doing things that make me feel bad. I look back on the relationships I've had over the years, and while some of them I remember fondly I think many of them I could easily have done without.

I'm in a very similar boat. Too many other things to do. Better to not waste time and energy on certain things. I think it's also a part of why I cant seem to get back into video games or reading fiction anymore lately.

 

[ardour]

Dating is an unhappy experience for me. Most recently, I met someone who seemed talkative, friendly, and into many of the same things as me. As soon as we started dating, they dropped the mask. Their social anxiety was so severe in a real relationship where they felt vulnerable, everything from the sex to the conversation tapered off and went off-kilter. I experienced some big moments of my life without them there. They didn't tell me why any of this was happening. I learned just before we broke up that they'd worn that mask, after paining myself trying to understand.

It sounds like you have absolutely no empathy or understanding for them.

 

[Tealeaf]

It sounds like you have absolutely no empathy or understanding for them.

And you have none for me.

I spent weeks asking them what was wrong and what I could do while receiving no support or love myself. Only blaming myself and feeling unwanted for a sudden change in behavior, and feeling very much alone.

That's not a healthy relationship when one person is simply not able to be honest with their needs or struggles, and not able to participate in a relationship due to a condition. Admitting the problem doesn't make all the built-up hurt and uncertainty magically disappear. This isn't a Disney movie where the big reveal at the end undoes all the pain and makes the impossible possible. 

Intimacy and conversation is a need for me that I can't compromise on, that he couldn't provide, and most importantly that I was lied to about. I wasn't sure at the end I really knew who I was with, and if we were compatible. That's what happens when people lie.

If you want to take it personally, that's on you. I'll happily shout out to the world that I'm no longer a martyr for troubled men. As I said, I'm tired of feeling bad and doing things that make me feel bad. That includes keeping people in my life who'd rather see me cry than be real with me.

 

[roy1986]

It sounds like you have absolutely no empathy or understanding for them.

And you have none for me.

I spent weeks asking them what was wrong and what I could do while receiving no support or love myself. Only blaming myself and feeling unwanted for a sudden change in behavior, and feeling very much alone.

That's not a healthy relationship when one person is simply not able to be honest with their needs or struggles, and not able to participate in a relationship due to a condition. Admitting the problem doesn't make all the built-up hurt and uncertainty magically disappear. This isn't a Disney movie where the big reveal at the end undoes all the pain and makes the impossible possible. 

Intimacy and conversation is a need for me that I can't compromise on, that he couldn't provide, and most importantly that I was lied to about. I wasn't sure at the end I really knew who I was with, and if we were compatible. That's what happens when people lie.

If you want to take it personally, that's on you. I'll happily shout out to the world that I'm no longer a martyr for troubled men. As I said, I'm tired of feeling bad and doing things that make me feel bad. That includes keeping people in my life who'd rather see me cry than be real with me.

I think the main problem is that even good people are making that mistake, I've been told that there was some concern of hurting me, but that's kind of ironic because I would not be offended if a girl tells me "I am sorry but it's not going to work out for me", but when she completely vanishes without saying anything that's like a knife in the back.

 

[Tealeaf]

It sounds like you have absolutely no empathy or understanding for them.

And you have none for me.

I spent weeks asking them what was wrong and what I could do while receiving no support or love myself. Only blaming myself and feeling unwanted for a sudden change in behavior, and feeling very much alone.

That's not a healthy relationship when one person is simply not able to be honest with their needs or struggles, and not able to participate in a relationship due to a condition. Admitting the problem doesn't make all the built-up hurt and uncertainty magically disappear. This isn't a Disney movie where the big reveal at the end undoes all the pain and makes the impossible possible. 

Intimacy and conversation is a need for me that I can't compromise on, that he couldn't provide, and most importantly that I was lied to about. I wasn't sure at the end I really knew who I was with, and if we were compatible. That's what happens when people lie.

If you want to take it personally, that's on you. I'll happily shout out to the world that I'm no longer a martyr for troubled men. As I said, I'm tired of feeling bad and doing things that make me feel bad. That includes keeping people in my life who'd rather see me cry than be real with me.

I think the main problem is that even good people are making that mistake, I've been told that there was some concern of hurting me, but that's kind of ironic because I would not be offended if a girl tells me "I am sorry but it's not going to work out for me", but when she completely vanishes without saying anything that's like a knife in the back.

I agree, it's better to be honest.

At my age, I need someone who can help  make decisions and talk, and does not need me to have all the solutions and be some kind of superwoman who always knows what to do but never needs to be helped herself. I need to not be responsible for social anxiety, or depression, or low self-esteem in another adult. I need to not have all the answers and be the only one coming up with ideas.

I feel more like a caregiver, a teacher, or a mother in many of my relationships. I rarely get to feel protected and cared for myself.

 

[DarkSelene]

I'm stronger by myself.

There are a million other things I could mention, but it comes down to that.

 

[ardour]

It sounds like you have absolutely no empathy or understanding for them.

And you have none for me.

I spent weeks asking them what was wrong and what I could do while receiving no support or love myself. Only blaming myself and feeling unwanted for a sudden change in behavior, and feeling very much alone.

That's not a healthy relationship when one person is simply not able to be honest with their needs or struggles, and not able to participate in a relationship due to a condition. Admitting the problem doesn't make all the built-up hurt and uncertainty magically disappear. This isn't a Disney movie where the big reveal at the end undoes all the pain and makes the impossible possible. 

Intimacy and conversation is a need for me that I can't compromise on, that he couldn't provide, and most importantly that I was lied to about. I wasn't sure at the end I really knew who I was with, and if we were compatible. That's what happens when people lie.

If you want to take it personally, that's on you. I'll happily shout out to the world that I'm no longer a martyr for troubled men. As I said, I'm tired of feeling bad and doing things that make me feel bad. That includes keeping people in my life who'd rather see me cry than be real with me.

I jumped to conclusions... Thanks for clarifying.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

It usually depends with me. I have to "feel" something strongly for a man and trust them fully before I enter a relationship with them. I've been in relationships in my life and in the past I was very naive and kinda blind by things. Plus I was young and still learning about life. I've learned from my mistakes though. I'm perfectly content in a relationship or not being in one. If I do love a person, I would like to get involved with them if the feelings are mutual.

If you're perfectly fine being alone, than I don't think it's nobody else's concern on how you live your life.

 

[reynard_muldrake]

Well if we're talking romantically alone, then yes. As with most people, I've become particular about how I approach things. I wouldn't want to change things just to please a partner (nor would I want him to undergo major changes for my sake). Relationships were something that never interested me anyway. Socially, however, I would feel better having a few great friends. Not an entire social circle; just two or three other people who understand me and can offer great emotional support.

 

[Eliraven]

98% of the time, when I really put myself down to think. I'm definitely better off alone and more happy and free. Still haven't found the right partner that makes me not missed being single from time to time.

 

[sbm1990]

People hurt me, stress me out, depress me, but then when i'm not around them I feel lonely. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

My thoughts exactly! Hell at this point, Im so "unloveable" as a person that im legit better off by myself. It aint like Im not used to being alone anyway.

 

[zero]

Yes, I`m definitely better off alone, but I can also have a great time in the right company, with people who are on the same wavelength as me.
To the OP: you are not weird, I`ve had the same thought and embraced it (if that is a criterion for weirdness, well, that would make 2 of us, I suppose).
Relax and enjoy life. Time will sort things out. As for trust, you know the saying, trust your instincts/gut.

 

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

I think I am better alone for most of the time, however, I like to think I will find someone I can be alone with together. I achieved this in the past but after that ended, I had no choice but to learn to be alone, so very alone (relationship wise). I still am alone after many years. Yet now I am slowly getting desperately alone. It begins to feel like a tumor of depression that can only be removed by a significant other.

On a musical note, who else thought of the song?