Do You Have Disdain For Addicts?

[LoneKiller]

Hi!

I think that this thread is an important one. In my experience, I've noticed that people who have never been addicted to something seem to have all the answers to help the addicted. "Get a job", "Spend your money on something else", "Do things to keep your mind off of it". As noble as all these suggestions are, if they aren't coming from someone who has never been addicted to something, you may as well talk to the wall. Addicts very rarely listen to those who haven't been where they're at. Living with addicts isn't enough to truly understand the torture of actually being one.

I'm not without sympathy for the families who are in pain because their loved ones are dying right in front of them. The addict steals their family's possessions to get their fix and tearing their family apart. I understand that. I'm not proud of it, but to buy my liquor one time I stole a little north of $2000 worth of my mother's jewelry, so yes, I can understand that the ones close to you while they love you, get extremely pissed off and hurt.

What so many misunderstand, is that nobody wakes up one morning and decides they're going to take up drug and alcohol abuse as a lifestyle.
It's hard to have sympathy for an addict when you have never experienced it personally. Nobody likes being an addict, but it just consumes you and you can't beat on your own. That's the whole essence
of being an addict. If they could help themselves, they wouldn't be one.

However, if an addict finally realizes he or she needs help and doesn't take it, will receive no pity from me whatsoever. When you are an addict, people who love you and care about you will try their best to help, but because of your current mental sickness, you perceive it as an attack not a loving act of compassion.

I know this is a long thread readers, but I could author a book on this subject from my own life's experience, not read it in some GD textbook in a classroom that today's mental health "Professionals" used to attend.
I guess what I'm trying to get across to everyone is to please try and have more compassion for these truly ill people. You are not dealing with a bad person, you are dealing with a chemical.

 

[SophiaGrace]

you have a chip on your shoulder with mental health professionals don'tcha.

 

[Callie]

You make some good points, but I disagree with a lot of that.
Families know more about it than you may think, they go through just as much as the addict and if you don't believe that, you ain't that smart.
Addicts CAN help themselves. There's a major difference between CAN'T and WON'T. Addicts don't WANT to help themselves until they hit bottom, sometimes they die from it, but don't sit there and say they can't.

And before anyone says anything about me "not understanding," I've been on BOTH sides on that table, so I DO understand.

 

[LoneKiller]

you have a chip on your shoulder with mental health professionals don'tcha.

Hi SophiaGrace.
You're Goddamn right I do. There's no way someone who hasn't ever been an addict is going to tell me what it's like. With all due respect for their careers and education, I find them all arrogant in the fact that they think that because of their education they know what's best. It was my family physician who treated me with respect and was very concerned about me and didn't try to tell me how I feel and think. He simply discussed my condition without judging me, or acting "Holier Than Thou". As far as I'm concerned, Psychiatrists can kiss my ass. I don't mean to sound like a prick, but I have nothing but contempt for them. This forum gives better advice than any "Shrink" I've ever met.

 

[Sci-Fi]

It is very difficult for a non addict to help and addict, unless they've walked in their shoes. If and addict is going to see a professional it should be someone who's been there done that. A person who can understand and really help them. I hate when people who don't understand sit there and say "just don't".

I'm a different kind of addict, nothing illegal or criminal or unhealthy. I have friends who don't get it, but thankfully are understanding enough.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I don't mean to sound like a prick.[/color]

you mean "I know I sound like a prick"

 

[Equinox]

To answer the title question, plain and simple: No. I do not have a disdain for addicts.

I have never been there myself. The closest I've been is having a cousin abusing heavy drugs. I've seen what it's done to her, and how she's changed, and I've heard her tell of how she desperately wants to get out of that hell but keeps failing again and again. I've sympathized and I've supported, but never ever have I said "just don't do it" or "get a job". Luckily, neither does the healthcare professionals.

There's a lot of judgmental and biased accusations going around about mental health professionals, but here's a little bit of truth for you: They're not all arrogant snobs lacking of empathy and understanding for other peoples' situations. And it's actually not impossible for a person to give good advice and councelling to someone about their problems even if they haven't experienced it first hand. After reading about it, and meeting these addicts face to face, you realize what's up, and you reach a level of understanding you maybe didn't expect to reach. I know this because I've worked with a lot of these addicts, at a rehab clinic, alongside doctors, therapists and other nurses. I've met alcoholics, pill poppers and shooters. I've talked to them; about them, about their challenges and struggles, and I do understand. I don't know exactly what it feels like on the body, because I haven't been there, but I do have the imagination to understand the feelings they describe when we talk. I listen.

The very meaning of an education is to learn. That's what therapists and other mental healthcare professionals do; they learn. They read, they talk, they observe, they listen, they interact, and they learn. Every addict has a heartbraking story, but a lot of these stories are the same. I don't have to be, or have been an addict myself to know about the physical and mental reactions during the first 14 days of detox. I don't have to be, or have been an addict myself to know that changing a lifestyle is a huge challenge. Or that getting out of a bad environment that keeps pulling you back can be hard. I've seen the guilt and embarrassment in these peoples' eyes when they lie on the floor with cramps, or when they vomit all over themselves. I've had my hands held so hard I almost had to break free because of the pain. I've heard the sobs and the cries in their beds at night - hell, I've even cried with them. I've experienced their pains at such a close range, I actually ache. And I'm not even a "professional" - I'm just a nurse, and I was only substituting for six months.

My cousin is clean now, and has been for most of this year. This is thanks to a rehab clinic that never gave up on her, and to these so-called "arrogant" professionals who supported her and provided her with the tools she needed to help herself. Because, ultimately, a person can only help themselves. Others can't solve your problems for you, but they can help you along the way.

By all means, keep believing that they're all arrogant, and keep your contempt; you're wrong, none the less. These professionals are people too, and just like all other people, you can't generalize. I understand you must have dealth with a few who wasn't much good, and I'm sorry for that. But don't judge all others based on the few you've met. It's unfair to them, and it's unfair to you.

 

[LoneKiller]

You make some good points, but I disagree with a lot of that.
Families know more about it than you may think, they go through just as much as the addict and if you don't believe that, you ain't that smart.
Addicts CAN help themselves. There's a major difference between CAN'T and WON'T. Addicts don't WANT to help themselves until they hit bottom, sometimes they die from it, but don't sit there and say they can't.

And before anyone says anything about me "not understanding," I've been on BOTH sides on that table, so I DO understand.

Callie, I see what you are saying, but not wanting help or admitting that they have a problem is part of the sickness. That's why it's called "Being Under The Influence". As I stated in my post, if an addict needs help and doesn't take it I have no sympathy. There are addicts out there with absolutely no support. If you have been on both sides of the table, then you should know that some addicts want help. I'm sure you have said to yourself while you were suffering that you aren't ever going to touch it again and you felt sincerely that you will do so, only to relapse.

 

[Callie]

You make some good points, but I disagree with a lot of that.
Families know more about it than you may think, they go through just as much as the addict and if you don't believe that, you ain't that smart.
Addicts CAN help themselves. There's a major difference between CAN'T and WON'T. Addicts don't WANT to help themselves until they hit bottom, sometimes they die from it, but don't sit there and say they can't.

And before anyone says anything about me "not understanding," I've been on BOTH sides on that table, so I DO understand.

Callie, I see what you are saying, but not wanting help or admitting that they have a problem is part of the sickness. That's why it's called "Being Under The Influence". As I stated in my post, if an addict needs help and doesn't take it I have no sympathy. There are addicts out there with absolutely no support. If you have been on both sides of the table, then you should know that some addicts want help. I'm sure you have said to yourself while you were suffering that you aren't ever going to touch it again and you felt sincerely that you will do so, only to relapse.

You're wrong, there's support for anyone who WANTS it. They may not like where it comes from or whatever, but there IS support.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Sometimes I do. I am close to at least one person who used to be addicted, and I don't disdain her now, though. I love her. I just had to make her quit, which was in itself an agonizing battle.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

My attitude varies on how long the person has been abusing substances, how old they were when they started, and if they're trying to do anything about their problem.

For example, if I see some older guy who's drunk out of his head, living on a street corner and just seems totally dishevelled and out of it, sympathy is generally the predominant emotion for me.

However, I go pretty far the other way too. My view is that the NHS over here should simply not help (or donate organs to) people who OD three or four times, because I don't see why everyone else should have to pay for someone who clearly doesn't care for their body or kicking their habit.

If you're overdosing and end up in hospital, that's when you should think "This is the last straw. What I'm doing to myself is bloody stupid and I could die. I should go to the rehab I'm offered and sort myself out." not "Ah, it's okay, someone else will pick up the pieces. I'll go steal some cash tomorrow so I can get my next fix."

Of course, I have not been an addict myself, so I can respect that it's a very difficult situation to be in. I just feel like if people do not try to help themselves overcome what is essentially a self-imposed problem (in the majority of cases, it's not like they were forced to start smoking crack) that damages society as a whole, they should not be helped to the detriment of everyone else.

Having said that, I believe that every possible means should be made available to people who genuinely want to overcome their habit. So I feel sympathy for those who know they have a problem and want to fix it, but those sort of ignorant people who just don't care about themselves or their families? I guess I do feel an element of disdain for them, yes.

 

[LoneKiller]

Ok Ok. Maybe I'm a little bitter towards mental health employees. It's not fair for me to blame all the rest just because I've had problems with some of them. That would be like hating today's Germans because of Hitler's actions. I meant no disrespect to any of you.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I know a lot of people who distain addicts. I don't. I've heard peopel say how they're scum thougha nd lie and hurt others.

Personally I just stay away from addicts because they oftentimes have an underlying mental health issue which isn't being treated and this makes them unbearable to be around. Their emotional issues. I know if I was around them too long it would fresia *me* up emotionally as well.

 

[RJLJD]

i have no right to judge drug addicts. they honestly aren't in their right mind. i find more sadness and disdain in the fact we live in a world where people have to turn to unnatural and dangerous behavior to escape life than i find in the fact people get sick from it and can't stop. and that's exactly what they are. sick. not in the demented sense, but in the need proper attention sense.

i hear stories of people who had the world at their feet, like eminem or josh hamilton, and it just reinforces to me that these addicted people really just have no control and need help, even help in stopping themselves from hurting... themselves.

i have no disdain for addicts. i hope they can find their way through their dark path to a better day, as cliche as that sounds. i wish them all the best.

(btw, josh hamilton is actually an incredible story. i fashion him as a sort of... not role model but someone i hold in high regard. i reccomend a google search on him to all of you if you want to hear a story with a happy ending.)
EDIT: one better for you, a link...

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/albert_chen/05/27/hamilton0602/

 

[Dark One]

Drugs and evil are gud.

 

[shells]

As a former addict (few months clean), I had (and still have) more disdain for myself than any other creature on this planet could.

I remember overhearing a man talk about how useless and worthless drug addicts were. He even made the comment that they should just do the world a favor and die; make room for people that actually want to make something of themselves.

Individuals that readily pass such brash judgements are amusing. How lucky they are never to have been surrounded by substance abuse as a child, lost parents/loved ones to drugs, or wind up getting consumed by them as well. For those that feel such hatred for drug addicts, let's put a gun in their hand and tell them to kill a drug addict at random. Point and shoot. It's just some cracked out nobody, so who cares. Drug addicts are just a waste of life anyways. Right?

If they pulled that trigger, they would have just ended the life an underage girl still in high school. Oh, and that same girl somehow managed to juggle high school, college, varsity athletics, national honor societies, volunteered regularly, all at the same time. She was a point shy of a 4.0GPA, enjoyed losing herself in the arts and achieved a few small scholarships for both scholarly work and athletics. Did I mention that girl was orphaned at sixteen and somehow still managed all of that? But you know, I guess she still deserved to die... After all, she was an addict -- just like her deceased mother and mentally ill father.

That girl would have been me, a few years ago.

I certainly wouldn't consider myself a poster-child for anything, especially considering there are countless others just like that. You just don't hear of them because... Well, I certainly didn't parade around my drug-use. People have this preconceived notion that all addicts are like rats on the street... Begging for scrap change for a "fix". In reality, it's anyone. It can be your mother, your best friend, a teacher, your boss, a neighbor or even you. God forbid you are in a horrific accident one day and they prescribe you a cocktail of drugs for pain, PTSD, and what else have you. Just because it's prescribed, doesn't mean it isn't habit-forming... You could fall into the trap of addiction without even knowing you were stepping into it.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I certainly wouldn't consider myself a poster-child for anything, especially considering there are countless others just like that. You just don't hear of them because... Well, I certainly didn't parade around my drug-use. People have this preconceived notion that all addicts are like rats on the street... Begging for scrap change for a "fix". In reality, it's anyone. It can be your mother, your best friend, a teacher, your boss, a neighbor or even you. God forbid you are in a horrific accident one day and they prescribe you a cocktail of drugs for pain, PTSD, and what else have you. Just because it's prescribed, doesn't mean it isn't habit-forming... You could fall into the trap of addiction without even knowing you were stepping into it.

For me, its not that.

Its the simple fact that their existence supports what is little more than pure and complete evil, and in their avoidance, they blissfully continue to justify their actions. Their actions directly contribute to the destruction of innocence, lives and happiness. If there are monsters in this world, then they directly enable the existence of those monsters and should be at least partially accountable for it.

I have nothing against people who have made mistakes. What I require for them is that they seek redemption. I, too, have made mistakes but I have never ever tried to excuse my weakness, nor have I not gone to correct what I have done. Its more than just 'forgiving myself'; I have actively gone and voraciously hate any evil that I may have enabled. It is in the fury that I find my solace, and know that I have destroyed the monster that I was.

Ultimately, it is because I believe in atonement. But I believe that atonement must be shown in action, because in the end, only actions matter.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Personally if someome was a drug addict their whole life, I wouldn't feel disdain for them.

Its not for me to judge. My grandmother was an alcoholic her entire life. I wrote her a letter asking her to stop drinking, and i think it helped her because towards the end of her life she stopped. I held her hand, visited her,w hile she was dying of emphesyma.

I didn't judge her, and she knew that.

 

[Okiedokes]

Well it seems easy to get addicted to drugs..for instance perscription drugs... some people end up dependant on them. They didn't want to become addicted. As for the hard stuff..well they didn't ask to get addicted either but of course all should seek help when this happens or it's going to not only affect their lives but everybody elses in the worst way. I think the main thing is when I hear about the car accidents that happen and it's like..... yeah that does tick me off they shouldn't have been driving in the first place.

 

[Lonely in BC]

Looks like I wasn't around for this one when it started. Lots of well thought out responses.

Luckily I was able to avoid the hold of any major addiction (except for "adrenalin junkie" from time to time). It's difficult to respond to this question in a truly altruistic way. I've known some addicts that I really don't think much of, I've known some that I've had respect for- kind of like the people in day to day life who don't have addiction issues.

There is one type of person that I do despise (in regards to addictions) that I didn't see mentioned. That person is the low life s.o.b. who capitalizes on addictions, the one who is always willing to supply whatever is needed to keep the person hooked to their addiction for profit. I'm not just talking about the dealer on the corner, how about the local pub owner who keeps pushing "another round" on the town drunk or the "well intentioned" friend who always seems to have a stash of prescription meds to "help" a needy person out. Those are the ones I despise.