Do You Have Sympathy For Obese People?

[LoneKiller]

i am 103 kilos and got made fun of yesterday by an uncle who was visiting. pissed me off! he wouldnt lay off me. he was speaking nonsense like "hey you have out on weight since the last time i saw you". "did you put it on in bombay or since youc ame back?". "what are you doing about it?".

I ******* hate that when a family member says that kind of honeysuckle. Especially when they are what they are saying to you. My brother always makes it a point to get on my case about cigarettes, but he sucks down cigars like Coca Cola. ******* hypocrite.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You know what I find odd? The fact that some overweight people find comfort in making someone else who is overweight feel bad for being fat. For example, years back, before I left Jersey, I was around 18, 19. And my mom has a friend, and she's been a family friend for over ten years now. So, she's a bit chunky herself and she hates it. She's close to her mid-thirties now and not married, and desperately wants a husband and all that. Well, because she's unhappy with having a little extra, she assumes everyone is. She told me that I needed to get the surgery where they staple your stomach to a smaller size and that I'd be happier when I lost the weight.

Truth be told, it wouldn't make an ounce of difference to me. Because it's not my size that defines me. I can pretty much guarantee that I'd be the exact same way, only in a smaller size.

 

[Ghost Boy]

I do have sympathy for them, since I'm one of them. Otherwise it would be self-hatred. lol

I can laugh at fat jokes like everyone else(only if it's funny) but what I can't stand for is people who look down on obese people and try to put down for being who they are.

I heard of one story where a waitress was given a "tip" by a customer that "she could lose a couple of pounds". When the story came out, I seen quite a lot of comments defending the guy and calling him a "hero". -_-

 

[LoneKiller]

I do have sympathy for them, since I'm one of them. Otherwise it would be self-hatred. lol

I can laugh at fat jokes like everyone else(only if it's funny) but what I can't stand for is people who look down on obese people and try to put down for being who they are.

I heard of one story where a waitress was given a "tip" by a customer that "she could lose a couple of pounds". When the story came out, I seen quite a lot of comments defending the guy and calling him a "hero". -_-

They called him a "Hero" for that rude remark to the waitress?! That's appalling! People who make comments like that should be shot and pissed on.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Me feeling like honeysuckle about people hurting themselves
Or committing a slow suicide......
dose me no good or them no good.
Negativilty is a disease. Its contageous and spread
Like a disease. Addiction is a DIS EASE.
MISERY LIKES COMPANY.
EMPATHY...would be understanding and having
Compassion without feeling like honeysuckle.
Screw guit..

Addicts hold pepple mentally and emotionally hostage.

I rather focus on my happiness. Create happinrss.
Feeling good about myself...hopefully thatll catch on too.
Im fit...i stay in shape. I exercise. I feel good about that.
I feel good about myself. I accepted my good qualities too.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You know what I find odd? The fact that some overweight people find comfort in making someone else who is overweight feel bad for being fat. For example, years back, before I left Jersey, I was around 18, 19. And my mom has a friend, and she's been a family friend for over ten years now. So, she's a bit chunky herself and she hates it. She's close to her mid-thirties now and not married, and desperately wants a husband and all that. Well, because she's unhappy with having a little extra, she assumes everyone is. She told me that I needed to get the surgery where they staple your stomach to a smaller size and that I'd be happier when I lost the weight.

Truth be told, it wouldn't make an ounce of difference to me. Because it's not my size that defines me. I can pretty much guarantee that I'd be the exact same way, only in a smaller size.

I hate this, too.

Especially the fat guys who make fat girl jokes. Umm...maybe it's your personality that is preventing you from being attractive, not your weight!

This isn't my problem. I find curvy women attractive. Sadly, I don't have the guts to approach them, either.

But yeah, I would never judge someone, based on their physical attractiveness. Sadly, I've been there, and it hasn't felt good.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't want to put skinny dudes down, but I've never liked skinny guys. I've always preferred bigger guys. And it's sad to me that so many think that no one will want them because they're chunky. Doesn't bother me a bit. And I'd never tell someone else to lose weight, especially if they're functional. Only weight I've ever said anyone should loose was water weight. I've dealt with fluid weight gain with my mom, so I've learned a thing or two about it and how dangerous it is.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

This cross-overs a lot with what I said in the debate/Obesity topic, so sorry if I repeat myself a bit

In short: yes I do, because I don't think anyone should ever be bullied or disregarded because they're overweight. Similarly, people should not be defined by their weight or appearance - but in modern society, they often are by others.

One thing that I find quite surprising since losing weight myself is that I'm treated very differently by people. It's immediately noticable, especially when you see people you haven't seen for years.

When I was overweight, it was like people were always subconsciously looking down on me a bit, even those who were friendly to me.

Since becoming slimmer, people suddenly seem to respect me a hell of a lot more. I feel like people listen to me when I'm talking and seem more concerned about my feelings and opinions.

Other guys no longer give me problems and in fact seem to try to include me, while girls who previously were sort-of-friendly to me now seek to really have a good discussion with me.

People say that they're not shallow, but when you see how much they change in their stance towards you...it's clear that most people (probably even myself) do shape their opinions on the look of the person they're talking to.

And it's sad to me that so many think that no one will want them because they're chunky. Doesn't bother me a bit.

It's so nice to hear someone say that and mean it!

From a guy's perspective, I've never seen anything wrong with a girl who carries a little weight on her frame. It's actually really attractive on some girls!

I find it rather sad that so many girls worry constantly about being "fat" due to pressure from their friends when really to a male observer they actually look quite curvaceous and beautiful.

(Though I guess that's getting onto a whole different topic!)

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Vanilla, your opinion is common.

I used to work with a girl who would say, "I would date a fat man over a skinny man, anyday."

This girl was skinny herself, and drop dead gorgeous. So it wasn't a confidence issue. She just wasn't shallow, or in as much as she had her preferences, and skinny men weren't it.

 

[Lost Drifter]

It’s not obese people whom I feel sorry for but the society which we have created that feels the need to persecute them. For all our differences, most of the globe seems to have come together to define a perverse, unobtainable sense of perfection which so many of us punish ourselves for not achieving, it is a horrible torture that we undergo time and time again. Fashion magazines portraying unhealthily thin women, films and music videos showing girls with fake breasts and men with six-packs or dating shows that set out to victimise those who dare to be different. We have all seen it before: the overweight comedy idiot, the bald looser, the dumb blonde, the short creep etc. What the hell is wrong with the world? Are we really that insecure about ourselves?

So no I don’t feel any sympathy for obese people because I don’t consider them to be wrong or at a disadvantage. Sure there are some health issues but you’ll not hear me lecturing smokers or drug users because at the end of the day it’s their choice so I for one have no right to decide if those choices are right or wrong. I know plenty of folks who are large by choice, myself included, according to the charts I should weight just over 168 lbs to be ‘ideal’ but at 189 lbs I feel great. I can run, lift weights and work out better than most ‘healthy’ people even if I’m still considered fat.

The bottom line is that if anyone is shallow enough to criticise your appearance (and providing you aren’t being deliberately offensive) or define your personality based on your looks then do yourself a favour and walk away. Let them chase the unobtainable while you find happiness.

 

[passage]

Depends on their age. If they have kids to look after, or are old I can understand that they don't have the time or have more important things to look after. But as for young people, no for the most part I don't feel any sympathy (and I used to be "chubby", maybe 10-15kg overweight, 20-30 lb). I think being made fun of a little bit was good for me. It provided some motivation to get my lazy ass off the computer and go to the gym, or go for a bike ride, or go for a hike. Then I learned how to eat healthier, and how to stay in shape, not that I'm in great shape or anything.

For me now its pretty simple, before I used to not think twice about what I ate (or thought about it and didn't care). So a box of Oreo cookies was like a small snack. Chicken nuggets and fast food were my favorite. Excercise involved walking short distances and the occasional game of basketball. No wonder I was chubby. So I don't feel sympathy. Being obese is 99% of the time the persons fault. It's something everyone can change, not like facial features, or the size of your wang, or the size of your breasts.

Even the past 6 months I've been abroad, and not doing exercise and not eating that healthy, but I am still eating better than when I was overweight. As a matter of fact this just motivated me to get my ass back into the gym (I have to wait 1 more week since I'm recovering from an injury).

 

[VanillaCreme]

Drifter, exactly. I feel bad for the people who think that just because someone's overweight, they need to be cast away. Or people who think that for any other issue as well. Sure, I'd like for people to be healthy, including myself, but to treat people so poorly, it's not needed.

 

[Okiedokes]

It really depends.. I don't take it into thought about feeling sorry unless they have a health problem like thyroid issues that causes it, and they can't do much about it. Underweight people get the same treatment also. The only thing that bothers me is when someone points it out to another person and they themselves are not a perfect weight.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

I have sympathy for fat people in inverse proportion to how fat they are.

The fatter they are, the less sympathy I have for them. I believe that ultimately, your weight it within your control. I don't buy the theory that genes make you fat. Do Americans have different genes than all the other countries? Of course not, but we do have a different lifestyle on the whole. Somebody who is 700 pounds is gonna get far less sympathy out of me than say for instance the OP, who is 200 pounds. If you're 700 pounds, you clearly don't give a honeysuckle about what you put in your body or how often. You've probably also never been taught about the importance of being healthy and doing healthy things. In short, if you're super fat, you're probably also super ignorant. Why should I feel bad for you?

If on the other hand, you are actually aware of your weight problem and try to keep it in check, then you'll get far more sympathy from me.

 

[Callie]

Why have sympathy for someone like that is overweight?

I'm not trying to be a ***** here, but well, WHY? If they are unhappy with themselves, they should do something about it. If they don't have a problem with themselves then it's irrelevant. And before anyone says anything about me not knowing what it's like, I can assure you that I do. I chose to do something about it.

As for my thoughts about people who are obese, I should probably keep them to myself because they've gotten me in trouble before. People twist my words on this matter way too easily.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't know if the whole genetics thing is true or not, and I don't really care either way, but a good portion of my family is fat on my mom's side. Don't know if it's because of genetics or if we're all just a bunch of black folk who like to eat.

And Callie, I agree with you. If someone's unhappy with themselves - whether it be a weight issue or another issue - they should do something about it. Like me, for example, have no problem with it. I'm not disabled in any way. I'm not lazy. And for being fat, I'm pretty **** flexible. However, my guy lost quite a bit of weight through working out years ago. Not because he thought it would make him look better, but because he wanted to feel better. It caused his back to hurt, so he did something about it. Now his back doesn't hurt as much.

 

[Bones]

The problem with this issue is that it is not a perfect world and not everyone burns the same amount of calories per day at a resting rate.

For instance, the person who sits in the next cube up from me at work is in his mid-forties and eats at least three thousand or more calories per day.

And he looks anorexic.

There are others who consumes less calories that is typical for their age and still gains weight no matter how hard they try to lose it.

Therefore, I think it is hard to make an argument of not having sympathy; or at least, people should be impartial.

Then again, while one person may be skinny, exercises, and does everything right for this particular issue, they might want sympathy for other areas in their life that could have a direct result of making bad decisions in the past.

Everyone should treat everyone with dignity; but being human, this is hard to do because people will project the need of feeling superior and making someone else feel inferior in order to make themselves feel better.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Everyone should treat everyone with dignity; but being human, this is hard to do because people will project the need of feeling superior and making someone else feel inferior in order to make themselves feel better.

I couldn't have said that better myself. Inferiority is probably why my mom's friend told me what she did. She's smaller than I am, both weight and height wise. And she said that to me to try and make herself feel better about her own size. Which kind of backfired on her, because it didn't phase me a bit. In fact, my mom asked me the next day if I really wanted to do it, and I had no idea what she was talking about.

 

[The Pariah]

I'm possibly gonna get some hate for this by there we go.

I'm overweight myself, not just a little, I'm pushing if not around the 400lb mark. I'm also 6'8 and given how I look I'd say a fair amount of the weight is either in bones or underlying muscle given that virtually no one ever guesses my weight is that high. I've had honeysuckle for it my whole life, from school, to family, to the rejections from women. I despise myself so much that in turn I've eventually ended up despising all overweight people.

Do I have sympathy for others like myself? No of course not, they are just as weak as I am. I can empathise with them but certainly don't feel sorry for them.

Perhaps the worst is now how I feel about overweight women. I've spent so long thinking I must be repulsive to the opposite gender I cannot find overweight women attractive, which is a bugger as sadly fat tends to go with fat. I'm going to be single for a long time if I don't either lose alot of weight or learn to settle.

Have I lost weight? In ups and downs. If you're 10-15lbs overweight, it's a difficult month or two to get the weight down, when you become like myself it's either surgery or years of intense dieting/exsercise. You have to become incredibly strong willed to put yourself through that and not many are, as for the most part it's not just changing what you eat, it's a complete lifestyle change. As I'm sure many are aware, despite the negatives it's easier to stay in the comfort zone than to change everything.

I'm not advocating the abuse we get, but I say the same about smokers who are a much more common target for societies ire. We are an easy target, in both cases because by being overweight or smoking you are physically showing how weak of mind you are, so to a degree we probably deserve everything we get.

Then again, I am somewhat bitter and rather biased.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The Pariah, I definitely feel sympathy for you.

My mom is almost 400 pounds, and diabetic. I hover around the 215 mark, so I'm not that fat...but by the BMI standards, I am clinically obese.

However, I feel bad for obese people, because they have a harder time dating. Hell, I'm not even that fat, and I've been discounted strictly for my weight. Case in point: When I was 20, I was around this weight, and then suddenly I got skinny. Suddenly I had 20 girls in one year hitting on me, compared to the 1 (who probably was a fluke.) And these women were gorgeous! Clearly it was because of my weight, and my sudden loss of it, that led to me being attractive to them.

I am all for bettering yourself, but I have struggled on and off with my weight for years. 4 years ago, I was hovering around the 280 mark. I managed to drop almost 70 pounds since then, but I still feel insecure, because I still have this beer belly, however small it is. Women don't dig beer bellies.

I just can't understand why people count others out, when they have trouble counting themselves in?