Feel like giving up on people

[beans]

But as in the case of the original post, you should never give and expect to be given back. Ask them to hang out with you, ask them if you could go with them. Logically, I believe they would say yes since you've done so much for them. If they don't, F them. Find new friends.

I have asked people if I could go with them and some of them actually said NO. This has nothing to do with outgoing or not. Why should people expect others to behave a certain way to be accepted? I think that as long as a person is decent, and not rude, I would accept them as a friend. But you seem to imply that we ALL need to be outgoing, or act a certain way to be accepted.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Nope. I think they evil based on a lot of experience of them being that way.

People love to bully, reject and demand people conform to their ways. They are like packs.. social groups always have some alpha leader type who decides if you are going to be friends with anyone in the group and if you don't kiss his butt he uses the group to attack you.

Ultimately, I don't think that you or any other human is different. We gravitate toward what is similar and understandable, and reject what isn't. I think you ascribe malice for where there is only ignorance.

I don't think that most people are /evil/, which is a strong word. People are selfish and ignorant, and alas, that's just the nature of humanity as a whole.

 

[ヾ(^▽^)ノ -Chippy]

I don't think that most people are /evil/, which is a strong word. People are selfish and ignorant, and alas, that's just the nature of humanity as a whole.

It's not their nature. That's what the powers at be want you to believe. It's be engineered this way because the powers at be thought the subconsciousness and human nature was a threat to stability so they engineered a society where we would always want more with a endless greed so they would be busy trying to get "that dream home" that next "iphone" ect..

Take a look at the doco "century of the self by the BBC"

 

[Ak5]

But as in the case of the original post, you should never give and expect to be given back. Ask them to hang out with you, ask them if you could go with them. Logically, I believe they would say yes since you've done so much for them. If they don't, F them. Find new friends.

I have asked people if I could go with them and some of them actually said NO. This has nothing to do with outgoing or not. Why should people expect others to behave a certain way to be accepted? I think that as long as a person is decent, and not rude, I would accept them as a friend. But you seem to imply that we ALL need to be outgoing, or act a certain way to be accepted.

Of course people have to be outgoing in order to make friends. I know I wouldn't talk to that person who sits around being quiet all the time. A decent person to me is someone who can have a good conversation without being rude, which would mean being outgoing. So, I am not implying anythings, its just the way we work.

 

[IgnoredOne]

It's not their nature. That's what the powers at be want you to believe. It's be engineered this way because the powers at be thought the subconsciousness and human nature was a threat to stability so they engineered a society where we would always want more with a endless greed so they would be busy trying to get "that dream home" that next "iphone" ect..

Take a look at the doco "century of the self by the BBC"

And so, you argue against the domination of the human spirit by media by exhibiting more media?

lol

Humanity has always been like this. I've studied cultures from the !Kung Bushmen, to the rise of chiefdoms and tribes, the formation of agriculture states and eventually the construction of nations.

The only constant is that people will always want more than they have, that the world will never have enough to satisfy them all, and that people are willing to compete for what they want - sometimes even violently.

I submit Guns, Germs and Steel: the Fate of Human Societies by Jared Diamond in response.

 

[beans]

But as in the case of the original post, you should never give and expect to be given back. Ask them to hang out with you, ask them if you could go with them. Logically, I believe they would say yes since you've done so much for them. If they don't, F them. Find new friends.

I have asked people if I could go with them and some of them actually said NO. This has nothing to do with outgoing or not. Why should people expect others to behave a certain way to be accepted? I think that as long as a person is decent, and not rude, I would accept them as a friend. But you seem to imply that we ALL need to be outgoing, or act a certain way to be accepted.

Of course people have to be outgoing in order to make friends. I know I wouldn't talk to that person who sits around being quiet all the time. A decent person to me is someone who can have a good conversation without being rude, which would mean being outgoing. So, I am not implying anythings, its just the way we work.

It means you are selective and not too friendly - you only want to make friends with certain people who fit your criteria. Me and one friend of mine, we always talk to people who are quiet, look nervous and may not have the social skills, but that's just us. Friendly people are the kind of people who'd talk to EVERYone - the quiet ones, the popular ones, the talkative ones, etc. That's why they are called 'friendly' because they don't care who they're talking to. Majority of the people, I guess, like you would not give two hoots.

But yeah, whenever I see someone standing in a corner, looking lost, I would definitely approach them and try to talk to them because I know how it feels.

 

[jean-vic]

It means you are selective and not too friendly - you only want to make friends with certain people who fit your criteria. Me and one friend of mine, we always talk to people who are quiet, look nervous and may not have the social skills, but that's just us. Friendly people are the kind of people who'd talk to EVERYone - the quiet ones, the popular ones, the talkative ones, etc. That's why they are called 'friendly' because they don't care who they're talking to. Majority of the people, I guess, like you would not give two hoots.

But yeah, whenever I see someone standing in a corner, looking lost, I would definitely approach them and try to talk to them because I know how it feels.

Exactly.

There is a call to be outgoing to a point. I mean, you actually have to talk. You do. That's a fact. The problem is, people don't want you to be just outgoing. They want you to be everything they are. They expect everyone to fit the same mold, and if they don't they are cast out. I mean, some people take no pleasure in spending vast amounts of money getting drunk with friends in nightclubs. They prefer other activities. However, to maintain a social life they are forced to partake in activities which they find tedious just to fit in. Why? Because they have the majority against them. If the majority want to go out, they go out. Why should they make an effort for the minority? For every one person who doesn't want to go drinking, they have 10 more who do. This then leads to the segregation of certain individuals because they don't fit.

And, so, a person is quiet. They don't like to talk about themselves or put themselves out there. Speaking from experience, perhaps that is because they are simply terrified of people, conditioned by their experiences to be fearful of them. They are scared and alone, and people ignore them because they aren't loud, or brash or egotistical. They are seen as some sort of deviant when, in actual fact, they are just damaged and need help from others. Society isn't about helping, though. Why focus on those who are different when the majority are exactly the same? This leads to the growing loneliness we see, and the devastating effects it is having. I'm not defending what these people do, but how many times do you hear about murderers being social outcasts. Like the bloke who massacred those people in Norway recently. He was ignored, lonely and felt unwanted, and this desire grew in him to be noticed. He obviously lost his mind because of it and saw the only way he could garner attention was by killing 92 people. He is responsible for what he did, obviously, but so is everyone who ever rejected him because he was different.

I apologise if you're not religious, but there is a pertinent line in the Bible that refers to the "lesser" man, outcast by society. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." All these years later, and nothing has changed. It's just getting worse.

 

[Ak5]

But as in the case of the original post, you should never give and expect to be given back. Ask them to hang out with you, ask them if you could go with them. Logically, I believe they would say yes since you've done so much for them. If they don't, F them. Find new friends.

I have asked people if I could go with them and some of them actually said NO. This has nothing to do with outgoing or not. Why should people expect others to behave a certain way to be accepted? I think that as long as a person is decent, and not rude, I would accept them as a friend. But you seem to imply that we ALL need to be outgoing, or act a certain way to be accepted.

Of course people have to be outgoing in order to make friends. I know I wouldn't talk to that person who sits around being quiet all the time. A decent person to me is someone who can have a good conversation without being rude, which would mean being outgoing. So, I am not implying anythings, its just the way we work.

It means you are selective and not too friendly - you only want to make friends with certain people who fit your criteria. Me and one friend of mine, we always talk to people who are quiet, look nervous and may not have the social skills, but that's just us. Friendly people are the kind of people who'd talk to EVERYone - the quiet ones, the popular ones, the talkative ones, etc. That's why they are called 'friendly' because they don't care who they're talking to. Majority of the people, I guess, like you would not give two hoots.

But yeah, whenever I see someone standing in a corner, looking lost, I would definitely approach them and try to talk to them because I know how it feels.

Calm down, your completely misjudging me. I am saying this as a generalization of society as a whole. Regular people (not like us) would not talk to people who are not outgoing. Number 1 advice given from people who have professional degrees is to be more outgoing. Of course I would talk to someone who went through the same thing as myself, because I know how it feels. I am just trying to be helpful. If I am the person you think I am, then I obviously would not be here, would I? The only time I talked (not friends mind you, acquaintances) to people in school would be to the not-outgoing people like myself.

Sorry if I ever offended you.

 

[beans]

But as in the case of the original post, you should never give and expect to be given back. Ask them to hang out with you, ask them if you could go with them. Logically, I believe they would say yes since you've done so much for them. If they don't, F them. Find new friends.

I have asked people if I could go with them and some of them actually said NO. This has nothing to do with outgoing or not. Why should people expect others to behave a certain way to be accepted? I think that as long as a person is decent, and not rude, I would accept them as a friend. But you seem to imply that we ALL need to be outgoing, or act a certain way to be accepted.

Of course people have to be outgoing in order to make friends. I know I wouldn't talk to that person who sits around being quiet all the time. A decent person to me is someone who can have a good conversation without being rude, which would mean being outgoing. So, I am not implying anythings, its just the way we work.

It means you are selective and not too friendly - you only want to make friends with certain people who fit your criteria. Me and one friend of mine, we always talk to people who are quiet, look nervous and may not have the social skills, but that's just us. Friendly people are the kind of people who'd talk to EVERYone - the quiet ones, the popular ones, the talkative ones, etc. That's why they are called 'friendly' because they don't care who they're talking to. Majority of the people, I guess, like you would not give two hoots.

But yeah, whenever I see someone standing in a corner, looking lost, I would definitely approach them and try to talk to them because I know how it feels.

Calm down, your completely misjudging me. I am saying this as a generalization of society as a whole. Regular people (not like us) would not talk to people who are not outgoing. Number 1 advice given from people who have professional degrees is to be more outgoing. Of course I would talk to someone who went through the same thing as myself, because I know how it feels. I am just trying to be helpful. If I am the person you think I am, then I obviously would not be here, would I? The only time I talked (not friends mind you, acquaintances) to people in school would be to the not-outgoing people like myself.

Sorry if I ever offended you.

Just because the majority is doing it doesn't make it right. And no, no offence is taken. This is a good place to discuss this and help each other I'd think. But just because it is regular, doesn't mean we should follow it. Well, it's pretty regular for everyone to have sex with each other as and when they like it without commitment. They can do that, no problems with that but doesn't mean I have to do that too just cause lo and behold, everyone is doing it. If everyone doesn't have their own standards, then everyone is just a sheeple.

And believe me, a lot of people have professional degrees and if you really knew how messed up they were they're thinking, you'd think otherwise.

But yeah I do understand where you're coming from.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Stop all this goddamn madness or i'll fight you all, I will, don't make come over there and stick these size 12 steel toe cap boots through you and the goddamn wall at once, diversity and insanity with a bit of insecurity.
If the debate starts up again I will solve the problem. What does 'the man' gotta do with the op's question, honestly?

 

[Ak5]

Of course, if everyone else is doing it then it does not automatically make it right. But, unfortunately this is the way society works; whether we approve of it or not. Some people like adjusting to society, some people stay the way they are, depends on the individual. Either way, society is F***** up anyway.

 

[PROXES]

i know how you feel lost1. at this point in my life i dont really even bother initiating new friends. if i happen to make one then great, but i dont have any expectations about it. it seems this is just how most people are. i myself was never very outgoing or talkative either. it seems that all anyone ever wants to do here is party or go out drinking and smoking. none of which is really of any interest to me. because of that i find it hard to connect with people and i guess thats why i never really got invited to much other than random parties that i didnt really want to go to.

Not sure if this will help you but have you thought about finding groups that share a common interest with you? Maybe a computer club or camera club. Not sure of your age or gender but the idea is to find people with whom you share an interest and try getting involved with them.

 

[Jilted John]

Lost 1

I've given up on people because I'm 60 and had a s**t life,what's your excuse?

 

[jean-vic]

Lost 1

I've given up on people because I'm 60 and had a s**t life,what's your excuse?

A s**t life? In Wales? Not possible, sir.

I'm not trying to belittle. Just trying to add some good old fashioned anti-Welsh humour without straying into the realms of molesting sheep.

 

[Jilted John]

Lost 1

I've given up on people because I'm 60 and had a s**t life,what's your excuse?

A s**t life? In Wales? Not possible, sir.

I'm not trying to belittle. Just trying to add some good old fashioned anti-Welsh humour without straying into the realms of molesting sheep.

Ha Ha! Nice one jean vic.

 

[cookie]

I've also been disappointed by people or so called friends in my life, even lately. But always it got me thinking, and I realized I am a vulnerable person and I need to accept that. Also I need to accept that other people aren't like me and that I need to keep a healthy distance to people who are not good for me. So it's always up to you, you choose the people and you let them in your life. I am not saying there is anything like a "guilt", not at all.

It is just giving up on people, means giving up on yourself. You need to find out what you treasure most on yourself and you need to be more confident with yourself. Whenever you are, people will see that and treat you that way. When you show weakness mostly the more selfish people will see an advantage in you for themselves. Sounds brutal but sometimes it is, we are almost like animals, the stronger ones eat the weak ones. When you think you are weak, you will be serving yourself to them as a tasty new dinner.

I tend to tell much about myself or my feelings. Unfortunately my impression is that most people consider it as a weakness, which is just not true. But I need to learn just not to share it with anyone who claims to be my best friend. Just need to take it slow with people with a healthy distance. I'm working on it. Good luck to you.

 

[jean-vic]

Ha Ha! Nice one jean vic.

Finally, a sense of humour!!

---

I've also been disappointed by people or so called friends in my life, even lately. But always it got me thinking, and I realized I am a vulnerable person and I need to accept that. Also I need to accept that other people aren't like me and that I need to keep a healthy distance to people who are not good for me. So it's always up to you, you choose the people and you let them in your life. I am not saying there is anything like a "guilt", not at all.

It is just giving up on people, means giving up on yourself. You need to find out what you treasure most on yourself and you need to be more confident with yourself. Whenever you are, people will see that and treat you that way. When you show weakness mostly the more selfish people will see an advantage in you for themselves. Sounds brutal but sometimes it is, we are almost like animals, the stronger ones eat the weak ones. When you think you are weak, you will be serving yourself to them as a tasty new dinner.

I tend to tell much about myself or my feelings. Unfortunately my impression is that most people consider it as a weakness, which is just not true. But I need to learn just not to share it with anyone who claims to be my best friend. Just need to take it slow with people with a healthy distance. I'm working on it. Good luck to you.

Very insightful, indeed. Even for those who are pretty closed off emotionally, it's interesting to read your thoughts on what we show to others about ourselves.

 

[allanh]

I talk to anyone who I think is good natured and sincere. In fact, I often keep persisting despite them being very quiet and don't seem particularly engaging.

This is not to say that all quiet people are nice people. I befriend people who I like, who may be loud or quiet, I don't care.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I got to the piont of not expecting anything for people anymore...
Family. Freinds. Lovers. Strangers...etc.

Poeple are ganna do what theyre going do. Im not the center of anyones world.

Im grafeful my duaghter Kimmie loves me very much. Im grateful my gf loves me too. My mother loves me. My sister
love me. Some of my friends cares for me..
I still doont expect anything from these people..just grateful. They all have theri
own lives and challenges.

Its just more peacful for me this way.

My Gf said...shell have sex wiht me when
she gets back in a few....if I expect her
to do things my way..theres gonna be a
fight N no nookie for me today..
Thats how it works....

I do however expect Me,. Myself. And I
to get my honeysuckle together. Ive been lagging it..
errr..Im just more moivated to lay
in bed N not do honeysuckle. My.bed feel nice
N comfortible..Thats my fucken pay off. .

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im responsible for my feelings. Thoughts and life.....

If I lean or depend on others to act a certain way or for me to be happy By DEFAULT i gave other people Power and control over my life.

Which account for unhealty behaviors..
People pleasing. AKA as being fucken
very nice, bending over backward , going out of way..way way out or being a doormate execting a reactions
from others for me to be OK.
Then feels like honeysuckle cuase others dont act according to whatever the fresia it is you want them to repond..Taking it
as a rejections.

Its self defeating. .

---

I DONT GIVE A fresia WHAT OTHERS thinks .Or say about me...either.

Its the none sugar coated version
of me being OK with ME.
Haing good selfesteem or self worht.

I dont need others approval or perissions to be OK with Me.

It takes me out of people pleasing or playing the fucken victim role.

I dont need to manipulate or control
others for me to be OK with me.

I dont need to be an emotional vampire
to be OK with me.

Im self supporting mentally, emotionally and theres nothing worng with me spiritually.