relationships are hard. There are times when I am broken hearted that I wish I never knew love to begin with.
However we are all creatures that want to be loved. that is why it hurts so much when it is taken away. I think we all seek it.
What my dear friend Gothmother is saying, however, is that having someone special in your life is NOT the answer we may be seeking. All of our problems will not go away because someone tells us that they love us, or if they share intimacy with us.
I think the world makes us feel like crap if we don't have anyone to love. We see those **** diamond commercials. We see those xmas commercials where a happy couple exchanges gifts. We see happy couples holding hands, and it rubs the fact that we are lone right in our faces!
However, if you are not happy with yourself...if the seed of your depression springs from some emptiness within...then getting a girl/boy friend will not fix it. I had no self respect before I got married. Because of that my wife did not respect me. She left me because of that. Getting her did not solve any problems. I had to look at myself long and hard, and then take action myself to correct alot of things before I even tried again...and this is something I wish I did before I even met her. I was so desperate for someone...and my desperation cost me dearly.
I know many of you may not listen to me, or even beleive me. But please understand that happiness comes from within. If you cannot be happy with yourself, then you will struggle to be happy with someone else. There is a huge difference when a special someone comes along and completes you...and when someone comes along that you expect to fix you.
There was one relationship that I was in that when she broke up with me, I was releived. I felt like a huge weight was removed!
I am not trying to discount any of your feelings of loneliness. I long to be loved again. I want to hold someone special in my arms. But right now I need to resolve some issues with myself before I can really consider doing so. I know this because when I jumped into relationships with unresolved issues it only caused more pain.
Alot of you I know have never had a 'significant other'. I urge you to heed those that have had that experience...and learn from it. Of course seek it...but try to find your own inner balance first. Find your center. Start working on you. Get yourself right with yourself. If you hate yourself...then a gf/bf is not going to fix you. I thought it would...and i was wrong. As a result I went through the most painful thing I have ever went through in my entire life.
