Girls - Would you date a fat guy who improving himself?

[frey12]

Women like fat guys. At the end of the day the reason we are alone is our personalities.

 

[Badjedidude]

Women like fat guys. At the end of the day the reason we are alone is our personalities.

Actually, a huge number (maybe even a majority) of people judge others based on looks.

So yes, it's quite factual to say that a huge number of women will not date fat guys simply because they're fat. And vice versa.

It's assuming too much to believe that EVERYONE is introspective and self-aware and mature enough to base all of their interactions (ESPECIALLY their romantic interactions) on personality alone and not on first impressions based on physical looks.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Women like fat guys. At the end of the day the reason we are alone is our personalities.

Not all women like fat guys. Just like not all women like skinny guys, or not all men like skinny, fat, tall, short, blonde, brunette, whatever, women.

I agree with the second part of your statement, though. Most of the time, we are alone because we have personalities that lead us to a solitary life.

 

[Lost Drifter]

Couldn't find one of men but you get the point...curves are hot.

 

[Limlim]

 

[Lost Drifter]

C’mon admit it, those fertility goddesses are smoking hot.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

I'd hit it.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I'd hit it.

The Fertility Goddesses?

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

I'd hit it.

The Fertility Goddesses?

Sure

 

[floffyschneeman]

probably one of the top reasons why people cant get a date is low-self esteem and most people who are fat, specially when they feel they are fat have low-self esteem. But a confident (not cocky), kind-hearted, charming man who happens to be fat is still a confident, kind-hearted, charming man who could sweep a lot of girls off their feet.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

probably one of the top reasons why people cant get a date is low-self esteem and most people who are fat, specially when they feel they are fat have low-self esteem. But a confident (not cocky), kind-hearted, charming man who happens to be fat is still a confident, kind-hearted, charming man who could sweep a lot of girls off their feet.

Agreed, *IF* they can get past the 30 second judgement period of whether or not someone is physically attracted to them. Most of the time people make a snap judgement and automatically dismiss them as being not desirable.

 

[onmyown1979]

Well...up until a year and a half ago I was overweight and while women were nice to me that's where it ended. I would ask them if they would like to go out sometime and I would get the standard 'You're nice but I'm not interested in anything more than friendship' type of answer. I figured that my weight was the problem and I started working out and watching what I ate and have lost a lot of weight, now the same women have complimented me on how good I look and go out of their way to talk to me. I think it goes for women as well as men, being physically attractive goes a long way, it's not anyone's fault, just the way we're built. I only work out for the girls and maintaining good health and I feel much better than I did a year and a half ago

 

[Dragonfriend]

Anybody that takes cares of themselves is worthy of attention. A person's physical appearance speaks volumes about their insides. If you're the type that doesn't give a **** then your appearance is going to reflect that.

This is the thing with depression unfortunately. People with depression stop caring and taking care of themselves. They become indifferent and apathetic. This is a double whammy since the person is standing in their own way of doing things. Sometimes the only solution really is medication.

 

[DiscoSpider]

That sounds absolutely right...

When I was big and overweight, girls would never make the effort to talk to me. I had female friends but, none of them would ever see me in that way other than just a friend. I never tried to ask anyone out because of fear of rejection. I was always "the nice guy".

Like many people on this forum, I lost a lot of weight and got fit and healthy. I noticed girls would talk to me in a more open and friendly manner and I started getting more female friends.

I hope no one "bashes" me for this but... I honestly do believe looks do play an important role in attraction. If a girl looks at an overweight guy, they will instantly assume the guy is lazy and doesn't bother to take care of himself. It could be true, or there could be other factors involved... but the girl doesn't care because, she's made up her mind. The exact opposite happens with guys too - see an overweight girl, they will probably assume "she doesn't take care of herself, she isn't worth my time" or something. It's just how we're wired.

Sometimes though, when we are depressed about ourselves, we stop caring about how we're presenting ourselves... when I was big and overweight, I was very depressed and I just stopped caring about how I looked, because I felt I wasn't "worthy" of anyone's attention. I wore big, dark and baggy clothes, I had long messy hair and I didn't shave my face. Combine that with my weight... terrible look.

Once we learn and get to know someone's personality though... then it can either attract us to them, or repel us. I know a lot of "hot" girls who honestly, I would not give the time of day too, because their personality and behaviour repulses me. I know a lot of girls who aren't "hot" - but I will gladly talk to and spend time with because of how they are.

I think the best example I can think of... is Penny Arcade. Yeah, the web comic - http://www.penny-arcade.com - I'm a huge fan.

Anyway... Jerry Holkins AKA "Tycho Brahe", one of the founders of Penny Arcade, if I remember correctly... his wife is a beautiful woman. Jerry himself, he's a short, stocky bald guy with glasses. He won her over though because he was friendly, he was smart, witty and funny. Everyone loves humour. But by saying that... looks aren't everything.

I am going to be very honest and please, I hope no one takes offence to this. Personally, I would not date a girl bigger than me. I'm 6'3 and 100kg (220 Ibs)... if the girl was overweight but trying to lose weight, well... it would really depend on her personality. If she was smart, funny and had similar interests then, I may date them sure (if they wanted). Hell, I would even try to help them lose weight if they asked me.

 

[roguewave]

I would date someone who was overweight/fat as long as it didn't interfere with our lives. For example, if my partner wasn't fit enough to go hiking/walking with me than I really wouldn't like that.

Also, please don't flame me for this but I am a bit bothered by Lisa Randall's professional come hither head shot. If I was brilliant and beautiful and had everything going for me, I don't think I would want a head shot like that.

 

[Sterling]

People like to say otherwise, but looks do matter to a point. You're not going to want to date, have sex, etc with someone who you don't find attractive. But hey, maybe their looks will grow on you if you're attracted to their personality.

 

[nerdygirl]

Also, please don't flame me for this but I am a bit bothered by Lisa Randall's professional come hither head shot. If I was brilliant and beautiful and had everything going for me, I don't think I would want a head shot like that.

This isn't intended as a "flame". I'm just curious- what makes that a "come hither" picture? She has a fairly normal look going on.
~~

Regarding the original topic... I've had a couple of rather hefty boyfriends. These days, I do prefer that a guy isn't more than about fifty pounds overweight. If he's making a sincere effort to lose weight, that helps.

 

[Rigel]

i don't think it's just about looks, it's also about how you come off to other people, how confident you are in your own skin. i see pretty big but really confident guys hitting on girls and actually succeeding lol. idk i guess it's not just about what others think of you, but what YOU think of you, cuz really, there are people who aren't prejudiced against looks and overlook it entirely if you wow them with your confidence and personality

 

[roguewave]

Also, please don't flame me for this but I am a bit bothered by Lisa Randall's professional come hither head shot. If I was brilliant and beautiful and had everything going for me, I don't think I would want a head shot like that.

This isn't intended as a "flame". I'm just curious- what makes that a "come hither" picture? She has a fairly normal look going on.
~~

Regarding the original topic... I've had a couple of rather hefty boyfriends. These days, I do prefer that a guy isn't more than about fifty pounds overweight. If he's making a sincere effort to lose weight, that helps.

That somewhat intense, willowy, no smile gaze is what I would consider "come hither." I strongly believe women have the right to present themselves however they want to but I've never seen a professional head shot like that, ever. And it made me sad.

 

[Evil_Genius]

Here's a quick question for the women out there...

Would you date a fat guy who was improving himself? Eating better, walking every day, going to a personal trainer, and losing weight?

Don't fall into this trap. You are defining yourself by your looks, and that is what makes you unattractive. ONLY the 1st bite is with the eyes. Are you smart, charismatic or funny. Play to your strengths not your weaknesses, and allow others to do the same. I am a huge guy. I am in far from great shape and I know it and still know that with a little time I could possibly pull the hottest single (and sometimes not single...but that's always going to end badly) girl in the place. Why. Because I know how to talk. I know how to listen and I know how to manipulate. Now the last of the three is never a smart plan either. If she's not interested, move on as you have no future if your personality can't at least hold her attention. Find the person you click with.