Going to a single's event this Saturday evening - what do I do?

[beans]

Hi,

I braved myself to attend a single's event this Saturday. It's a speed dating thingy. Seems like 24 people have RSVPed. Thing is, it looks like there are more women than men. (AS USUAL!)

What do I wear? Seriously, I just went to the mall and just couldn't really find anything that's nice, decent and NOT OVERPRICED! Ugh..and please, I don't want to wear make up. Maybe a lip gloss, that's about it.

Problem is, I am in between jobs right now. I SO hope they won't ask me what I do for a living. If they do, what do I say?? I don't want to sound like a loser.

Truth is, I am 28 years old (female), I live with my mother, she kinda helps me out financially (we have a great relationship).


Sigh

Any advice would be appreciated. The organizer said to come even if you're not looking. She said that it doesn't mean you're desperate, just go to mingle around, socialize and get away from FB etc etc so that's why I'm going. I'm not really looking although I'm single as hell!!

 

[happyman]

If they ask what do you do perhaps just say u finished up at one place and am currently looking. Perhaps talk about your studies (uni) if u did any.

Just wear a dress or something nice. No idea what people wear. Perhaps a nice pair of jeans but nothing too slutty/tight unless u want to show lots of cleavage, then u will have all the guys attention.

I would stay away from the make up, as people want to see the real u, i find too much make up looks like a drag queen. Remember to shower before u go, put on some nice perfume ect.

Good luck!

 

[Luna]

Hi Beans,

Good luck on the event!
Meeting people first is scary, but after doing it a few times it does get easier.
I second what happyman said - except the perfume part because most perfume is just god-awful anyways and everyone has his/ her own taste in "what smells good".
If you are clean you should smell good.
As for employment - people ARE going to ask. It's one of the first things you ask someone new. *I* don't think it's an issue if you mention that you're looking for something that is more A, B, C, etc. You can mention some interesting jobs you've done in the past - and also, you can also share what your long-term career goals are and if you are working on anything to get there!

 

[SofiasMami]

Oh, speed dating! That's fun! I tried it last year. I think you'll be fine. Wear something pretty that you like and don't forget a smile. You might want to think of some interesting questions to ask besides the normal "where do you work, where are you from, what music do you listen to" stuff. You will get asked where do you work, but so what, we're in the middle of a Recession. There will probably be others there that are out of work too. Just say you're between jobs, where you worked last and move on to a more interesting topic. Have fun!

Teresa

 

[AFrozenSoul]

^_^ Good luck hun, way to take initiative.

 

[beans]

Hi Beans,

Good luck on the event!
Meeting people first is scary, but after doing it a few times it does get easier.
I second what happyman said - except the perfume part because most perfume is just god-awful anyways and everyone has his/ her own taste in "what smells good".
If you are clean you should smell good.
As for employment - people ARE going to ask. It's one of the first things you ask someone new. *I* don't think it's an issue if you mention that you're looking for something that is more A, B, C, etc. You can mention some interesting jobs you've done in the past - and also, you can also share what your long-term career goals are and if you are working on anything to get there!

OK honestly, in my culture, people who are unemployed are treated like they are diseased. Seriously. And I can bet you, everyone there is going to be employed!!! I honestly feel like lying. I mean a little lie..like maybe say "Oh I freelance...in writing." Well, I'm writing here on the forum, ain't I? But uhhh I really don't want to say 'I'm in between jobs..!" ugh..ugh...

 

[Luna]

Hi Beans,

Good luck on the event!
Meeting people first is scary, but after doing it a few times it does get easier.
I second what happyman said - except the perfume part because most perfume is just god-awful anyways and everyone has his/ her own taste in "what smells good".
If you are clean you should smell good.
As for employment - people ARE going to ask. It's one of the first things you ask someone new. *I* don't think it's an issue if you mention that you're looking for something that is more A, B, C, etc. You can mention some interesting jobs you've done in the past - and also, you can also share what your long-term career goals are and if you are working on anything to get there!

OK honestly, in my culture, people who are unemployed are treated like they are diseased. Seriously. And I can bet you, everyone there is going to be employed!!! I honestly feel like lying. I mean a little lie..like maybe say "Oh I freelance...in writing." Well, I'm writing here on the forum, ain't I? But uhhh I really don't want to say 'I'm in between jobs..!" ugh..ugh...

What culture are you if you don't mind me asking.
My current BF had issues with employment - but it wasn't a big problem for me because we clicked really well at first and found ourselves talking about more other fun things.
I think part of it is how you present yourself...:S
If you want to bend the truth then by all means...it's not like you plan on staying unemployed forever.

 

[nerdygirl]

Most important thing to wear will be a smile. I've got to point out that with the way the economy has been, people aren't especially shocked to find out somebody is between jobs. However, you should have something interesting to say to move the conversation on to something else, or it's going to be awkward.

 

[grainofrice24]

Being under employed for me was a big deal. Women won't touch you with a 10ft pole if you're broke (at least in my experience). Maybe for a woman it's easier...I find now that guys are more the sentimental type who care for companionship...women are moreso the ones who are after the $$.

 

[beans]

Being under employed for me was a big deal. Women won't touch you with a 10ft pole if you're broke (at least in my experience). Maybe for a woman it's easier...I find now that guys are more the sentimental type who care for companionship...women are moreso the ones who are after the $$.

Pancake guy, in this day of age, men care a lot about how a woman can be financially independent. They are not going to settle for a woman who is unemployed, have no real ambition or defined career. I mean, I don't meet men like that who are 'okay' with that. They all want someone decent. And besides, unless that guy is rich and old and is willing to 'look after' the woman just for companionship, then maybe it will happen.

But come on, guys these days don't NEED women for companionship. They've got porn, video games, sports, etc. They only need women for sex.

 

[allanh]

call me old fashioned, beans. But I am looking for a girl for companionship, not sex nor money.

Yes, I value intelligence and beauty, but sex is the last thing on my mind when dating a girl(not saying I would mind it tho)

 

[grainofrice24]

But come on, guys these days don't NEED women for companionship. They've got porn, video games, sports, etc. They only need women for sex.

LOLOLOLOLOL

The hole that is left in your life by not having someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.......CANNOT be filled with porn/video games/sports etc.

Trust me, I've tried...they pass the time, but they don't fix the problem.

 

[beans]

But come on, guys these days don't NEED women for companionship. They've got porn, video games, sports, etc. They only need women for sex.

LOLOLOLOLOL

The hole that is left in your life by not having someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.......CANNOT be filled with porn/video games/sports etc.

Trust me, I've tried...they pass the time, but they don't fix the problem.

Really? Erm okay how old are you?

And I find that its often the woman who romances the guy, and would drop everything and anything to be with the guy but the guy is not willing to do anything. Nothing. Nada.

 

[grainofrice24]

But come on, guys these days don't NEED women for companionship. They've got porn, video games, sports, etc. They only need women for sex.

LOLOLOLOLOL

The hole that is left in your life by not having someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.......CANNOT be filled with porn/video games/sports etc.

Trust me, I've tried...they pass the time, but they don't fix the problem.

Really? Erm okay how old are you?

And I find that its often the woman who romances the guy, and would drop everything and anything to be with the guy but the guy is not willing to do anything. Nothing. Nada.

I'm 24, went through my phase of vid games/porn...it didn't help, and it was unhealthy. Sports are healthy, which is why I still enjoy them.

As far as working/$$ goes, of course it matters that you are somewhat ambitious and want to carve out a decent life for yourself. Money is a necessity...wanting some guy to pay your bills for you in exchange for sex makes you a whore. But if you're going through tough times, I think a lot of people have been there and understand...and are able to look past it.

Of course there will be one sided relationships that are tipped towards the guy, but there will always be the opposite. I've seen guys who ooze love/admiration for their girlfriends, only to have their girlfriends refuse to let them hang out with their other guy friends or go out, or do anything SHE'S not into (it's painful to watch).

BUT, there are couples out there that have found a decent balance...who are willing to make the occasional compromise/sacrifice for each other because they know it will be returned in kind. Being rich doesn't matter, being poor doesn't matter, they make it through together...so there is hope