GUYS - Would You Date a Fat & Ugly Girl

[PieBeNice]

You're not ugly, and there's people much much fatter than you. Also, your weight is changeable. If you don't like how you look, which is a derpy attitude to have, then it is possible to change it.

 

[jjessea]

Is that a Pantera shirt?

Dateable.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Aside from that, you do have a pretty face, and your hair is beautiful.

About the weight thing though, try and lose it. Not for the sake of being attractive, do it for your health and your future. It's a life long struggle for some, but it's certainly doable. There are all sorts of resources out there; support groups, therapists that specialize in those with weight problems, web sites, the list goes on. It's a legitimate health concern. Good luck

 

[ardour]

You have an attractive face, if you lose weight you will be considered attractive. That's more than many can say.

It's up to you whether you want to change your body to appeal to men, or what that says about society. I consider weight a pride in appearance thing to do with general attractiveness, as it also applies to men, but you'll hear plenty about unrealistic beauty standards.

Lose weight, but having done that don't fall for the first guy who shows an interest. That appears to be a common mistake. Have your own standards.

 

[hazel_flagg]

I see a lovely face and long lovely hair which I would kill to have.

You're making changes to your weight, which is a benefit overall for your health. Well done to you. I'm currently dieting myself. The first few days were hard, but it's paying off and I can feel my confidence coming back bit by bit.

When you're confident, that makes you more attractive to others (which is what you want, based on your post). Keep on it. We're cheering for you.

Oh, and I was 19 before I went on a date or kissed anyone. And there are people who are much older than that. It happens when it happens.

Good luck to you, toots.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

From my perspective you're waaaay too young, other than that I see nothing wrong.

 

[user15010]

Everyone is dateable (or better lovable) I think.

 

[Solivagant]

I'm not a guy, but I don't think you're ugly at all, and I love your hair.

I have this same problem:

I have really thick hair myself, only it is really straight, not curly. It is hard to make it look good, or for that matter, it is hard to make it look any way other than how it wants to lay.

Your hair curls beautifully.

I am in my late 20's and still haven't held hands, kissed, anything. Never got a second look, never was asked out or received interested from anyone, always rejected when I showed interest. I've been put down for my appearance my whole life, ignored, humiliated, the butt of cruel jokes. So often I felt like I was just a lost cause, undateable, this was how it was always going to be. I only just started a relationship with my very first boyfriend a few months ago, and he actually sees beauty in me, which is still hard for me to believe sometimes.

I know where you're coming from. I don't know what the future holds for you and I can't make you any promises, but don't give up hope, because it's not too late, and you are not undateable. Keep being your awesome self and hopefully one day the right person will take notice.

 

[Nuke1967]

I know how it is being overweight, I have been that way all my life, and sad thing when I was a kid I would constantly get tons of exercise, I would ride bikes, play kickball, football and basketball etc, even my mom told the doctor who said I needed to lose weight and get some exercise that I played all the time outside and got a lot. I got to the point I finally gave up, I did lose weight using doctor subscribed pills, but they had to stop giving them to me after a certain time, and boom weight came back.

So I am all too familar with the struggle with weight, and it has destroyed my self esteem, especially when I had a friend that would eat constantly, never exercise and was always skinny. I heard it could be genes, but my father and mother were thin, so was my older brother and sister, my other sister and me were fat, maybe my dads alcoholism and heavy drinking when my mom had us played a part who knows.

I do know this, your young and it is so much easier to lose it now, if it is a struggle doing it on your own then consult a doctor see if they can do something medically if just diet and excercise doesn't work.

Again I know the struggle, I have been doing it for 47 years, so good luck.

 

[Drama]

You're deff not ugly.

 

[JupiterMoon]

You're a good looking girl. Lot of girls would kill to have long lovely hair and nice skin like yours. Don't panic just yet
I remember being 17 and feeling unlove-able. My advice is to take up walking if you're able. An hour's walk once a day can do wonders for weight-loss.

I would date a "fat ugly girl" for sure , and so would plenty of other guys.

 

[johnny196775]

I would like to add this. Some people, like me, are not attracted to looks but personality. It is my opinion, but people who are looking for trophy wives can not really be that happy. I think a lot of people are attracted to looks so they do not really talk to the person first. I am wondering if people with trophy wives really feel like they have companionship.

 

[1000lifetimes]

You're being too hard on yourself. You're attractive - I like your hair (and your pantera shirt ).

Unfortunately thinking your ugly is unattractive. I'm guilty of it too (as I'm sure a lot of people are). And no the answer isn't going to the other extreme and acting like you're a runway model.

Just be a little more comfortable in your skin...you have no reason not to be. Also, your 17..don't be to fussed about not having a bf. just enjoy being 17.

 

[bender22]

Guys are pretty shallow at your age, so yes your looks are important. I'm sure there are some guys who find you attractive the way you are but a lot more guys would find you attractive if you lost some weight. Just make sure you lose the weight the right way. None of that severe calorie restriction bullshit or fad diets. Focus on eating quality protein, lots of vegetables and cut out the processed foods. The best thing I can recommend is do your research on nutrition.

Also don't be so harsh on yourself. There's probably a lot more 17 year olds who have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend and never kissed anyone than you realise.

 

[Kitsune Tora]

You're dateable, and if you work on your self esteem you'll be even more so. It's that aspect that can put people off as well as making you feel bad about yourself.

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

I´ll be brutally honest, maybe even crossing the line, but only in means of answering you, and like that, helping you.

No, I would not date you. For me, you are not attractive. BUT, all of that because of one thing, you are overweight. Say fat, say obese, whichever you choose. It may be because I have lived with women like that, or some other reason, but still. Being overweight drastically is not attractive.
Overlooking that, I do see your face, your hair etc., and you are not born ugly or anything like that. I believe that loosing few pounds (maybe a few more), and I dare say would make you smoking hot.

Other way of getting my attention would be if you were some mad genius or something like that, a personality so overwhelming, that it allows one, and forces him, to overlook the appearance deficiencies. And as 99.9% of population does not have such a personality...

And so, my brutally honest "advice" should end like: "Get yourself a diet plan, a gym membership, and in no more that 2 years (and it may be earlier as well) you will be someone who men turn around to look at".

All an all, I hope this did not hurt you, or if it did, it motivated at the same time.
You sound articulate, you sound nice So please dont fall into depression because of what I said (and note that a lots of people disagree with me! So dont be fixated on only me criticizing, while forgetting what others said), or because of anything else.
Work hard on being who you want to be. I´m sure you dont want to be a "not-hard-working-person".

Wish you luck, I hope I ask you out on a date in five years and you will turn me down painfully

 

[wolvesjr]

Here are my thoughts on what you've posted:

1. You're definitely NOT ugly. You're being WAY too hard on yourself here. You're actually quite cute.

2. The vast majority of the young guys around your age are shallow and stupid. They have no clue what they are looking for and care more about fitting in than being with someone for the right reasons. That passes as they start to grow up.

3. There are many guys out there who look deeper. Personally I've dated women from size 0 to 4X and care more about what's inside than what her dress size is. At 17 you have PLENTY of time to find one of those guys.

4. There are MANY guys out there who prefer girls with curves (look at the art work of Peter Paul Rubens or just google Big Beautiful Woman)

5. What it sounds like you need is some confidence. Shyness and lacking confidence in yourself can be difficult to overcome (as I have struggled with that myself) but it CAN be done. Once you start showing some outward confidence then others will see that and the rest will follow. You CAN do it.

6. If you think your weight is your biggest issue, then change it. But do it for YOU not because you think that's what others want you to be. You need to want to change yourself for you otherwise any changes will never last and you will just perpetuate the cycle. This past year I've lost over 50lbs because I wanted to change me for ME not for anyone else. If that's what YOU want to do for YOU then follow some of the other posters advice as they have the right ideas on what you can do to achieve that.

Hang in there, you have WAY more going for you than you think you do. You just need the confidence to start letting others see it in you too.

 

[sk66rc]

Ok... I'm gonna say something & hope I don't come across creepy... I personally think you're cute... And I don't mean "cute" as in a puppy dog or kitten kind of way... I had a friend who had a bulldog puppy... He was so ugly to the point he was cute, lol... But that's not where I'm going with this... You know that feeling when you see a cute guy & you wanna ask him out? Well, that sortta "cute"... So I guess I'm saying you're definitely "datable"... As far as your weight issue goes, don't lose it for other people... I know, I know... It's that oldest cliché... But it does hold some truth to it... When you're happy with yourself, people will see that about you... Being attractive has more to do with the whole package, not just looks alone... By the way, I like a girl with no make ups... I've seen girls with too much make ups & they look like they were "gang raped by crayons"...

If you wanna lose weight, then lose weight... Easier said than done... But in most cases, people tend to feel better when they lose weight... Or at least when they're at their idea weight... Good luck...

 

[Superfly47]

You are overweight, which lowers your attraction level, but you aren't ugly. I expect you're slightly above average in terms of looks for women of your weight and if you lost weight you'd be above average as well.

If you decide to lose weight, a couple keep points.

1. Don't think of it as trying to lose weight or going on a diet, instead think of it as trying to eat and be healthy. IF you think of it as a chore, resisting all these nice foods and urges, you'll never lose weight.

2. Don't expect if you lose some weight to instantly have guys asking you out right left and center. If this is your expectation and it doesn't happen right away you'll become dejected and just gain your weight back.

 

[Triple Bogey]

no such thing as an ugly girl, it's all relative. If I find a woman unattractive, other men might fine them attractive and vice versa.

 

[ardour]

no such thing as an ugly girl, it's all relative. If I find a woman unattractive, other men might fine them attractive and vice versa.

... yea we both no that's it's not "relative" when in comes to us though...