GUYS - Would You Date a Fat & Ugly Girl

[Darrell_Licht]

I used to be pretty heavy. morbidly obese much like you.

I started losing weight when I was 19, it was a challenging process every step of the way. Few people comprehend this. It took a few years for me to lean out to 180.

Currently, my weight tends to 'yo yo' luckily only 10-30lbs at a time. Mostly because I still have my demons that caused me to gain weight in the first place. I was more sedentary as a kid, and much more emotional. Eating was my coping mechanism.

My observation since losing weight. yes, you turn a lot more heads but few people would actually date you. That's for a variety of other reasons. I still have my hang-ups and insecurity's and it rear's its ugly head in social situations. Also, I'm male It's a unwritten rule that I need to be the pursuer. I have an aversion to that. Losing weight is a lot easier than getting a personality transplant and self confidence. Just my opinion.

You definitely don't have a ugly face. high cheek-bones are enamoring to me.

EDIT: fitness is a lifetime commitment as you may or may not know.
this website is a pretty good resource. If I had this at my disposal at the time, I would have made better progress sooner. http://scoobysworkshop.com/

 

[TheRealCallie]

I started losing weight when I was 19, it was a challenging process every step of the way. Few people comprehend this. It took a few years for me to lean out to 180.

Comprehend what? That losing weight is hard work...I don't know anyone personally that would say it's easy.

My observation since losing weight. yes, you turn a lot more heads but few people would actually date you. That's for a variety of other reasons. I still have my hang-ups and insecurity's and it rear's its ugly head in social situations. Also, I'm male It's a unwritten rule that I need to be the pursuer. I have an aversion to that. Losing weight is a lot easier than getting a personality transplant and self confidence. Just my opinion.

Um, people will date you or not date you based on who you are now, not because you used to be overweight. That has nothing to do with it.
And it's NOT an "unwritten rule" that men have to be the pursuers....
If you don't have a good personality, there is less of a chance that someone won't date you. That has nothing to do with how you look or how much you weigh.

 

[Darrell_Licht]

Comprehend what? That losing weight is hard work...I don't know anyone personally that would say it's easy.

I'm sure they recognize it isn't easy. But to understand with true empathy and what you go through physically/emotionally is another thing.

Um, people will date you or not date you based on who you are now, not because you used to be overweight.

I don't think I ever insinuated that at any point.

And it's NOT an "unwritten rule" that men have to be the pursuers....
If you don't have a good personality, there is less of a chance that someone won't date you. That has nothing to do with how you look or how much you weigh.

Indeed. I never said I was a charming individual.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Comprehend what? That losing weight is hard work...I don't know anyone personally that would say it's easy.

I'm sure they recognize it isn't easy. But to understand with true empathy and what you go through physically/emotionally is another thing.

That's no different than someone recognizes that it's not easy to be diagnosed with a disease they have never had. If someone hasn't been through something themselves, they will of course not know the full extent of the hardship of it.
But, that doesn't really matter. Those that care about you will support you and be there for you, whether they can understand it or not. Support is something everyone needs.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It may be very easy for some people to loose weight. But maintaining the weight loss and keeping it off can prove a bigger effort than some people want to go through. It's easy for some. Hard for others. I guess it just depends on the person and the level of the determination.

 

[lonelydoc]

I would never date a fat or ugly woman. Heck I would not think of paying a fat or ugly hooker.

Why am I so direct and honest about this? Because women have ignored me all of my life because I'm not a 6'2" muscular, rich adonis.


So look, know the truth just as I have learned it, and live with it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I would never date a fat or ugly woman. Heck I would not think of paying a fat or ugly hooker.

Why am I so direct and honest about this? Because women have ignored me all of my life because I'm not a 6'2" muscular, rich adonis.


So look, know the truth just as I have learned it, and live with it.

However, not everyone thinks like this.

And that is the truth.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I would never date a fat or ugly woman. Heck I would not think of paying a fat or ugly hooker.

Why am I so direct and honest about this? Because women have ignored me all of my life because I'm not a 6'2" muscular, rich adonis.


So look, know the truth just as I have learned it, and live with it.

So wait....you're saying you base who you date on other people's opinions of you?
Perhaps you should look at who you may be trying to date as the problem. There are people out there who would date you, you just clearly haven't found them yet (I believe this to be true for everyone.)
However, not dating a woman who is not a supermodel or whatever, just because you don't look like a supermodel and they won't date you doesn't really make a lot of sense.

I mean, you're free to date or not date whoever you want, of course. I just don't really see the logic in your statement.
People need to get over their judgments based on looks and realize that it doesn't matter what we look like, it matters who we are.

 

[Rainbows]

I would never date a fat or ugly woman. Heck I would not think of paying a fat or ugly hooker.

Why am I so direct and honest about this? Because women have ignored me all of my life because I'm not a 6'2" muscular, rich adonis.

So look, know the truth just as I have learned it, and live with it.

Good on you lonelydoc.

Boy, Am *I* glad that not everybody thinks the same!

 

[ladyforsaken]

People need to get over their judgments based on looks and realize that it doesn't matter what we look like, it matters who we are.

I echo this.

 

[johnny196775]

if a person would NOT date a non classically beautiful person then they are shallow and should be put down.

 

[TheRealCallie]

if a person would NOT date a non classically beautiful person then they are shallow and should be put down.

Everyone has a right to like who they like. Whether they are classically beautiful or not. Beauty is relative, considering everyone has a different interpretation of beauty. One person may find someone ugly, yet the next person may find the same person to be extraordinarily beautiful.
No one deserves to be "put down" for having an opinion, because everyone is entitled to their opinions.

 

[johnny196775]

it was a joke. geez

i will not try making any more jokes then.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Joking about putting someone down is never funny

 

[johnny196775]

not to you and a lot of people but if its funny to me then im a ******* wierdo. thanks.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Fine, allow me to rephrase. It's never APPROPRIATE here on this forum. Is that better?

 

[PieBeNice]

It is always appropriate to joke. Those people should deffo be put down.

 

[EveWasFramed]

ENOUGH.

And Pie... this is your last warning about fanning the flames and trolling the forum. Last. Warning.