how do I get people to want to know me?

[Fvantom]

I'm sure a lot of you have seen this before, you must know a few people like this, they go out, everyone knows them, everyone wants to know them, they're getting added on facebook left and right, they seem to have their work cut out for them, but people rarely ever want to talk to me, most of the time I end up having to do all the work. All I want to know is how do I become that way? How do I become the person everyone wants to know?

 

[Ak5]

I think it's better to be the one who initiates the conversations. I remember talking to people who initiate the conversations and I viewed them as confident and outgoing; same can be said to you if you initiate the conversations, people will view you as confident and outgoing.

 

[Fvantom]

I do half thevtime, its like theres something I lack, I almost never meet someone or talk to someone who actually wants to get to know me more, usually if I see them again its because I initiated something

 

[Ak5]

Most people are in their own worlds, so I think rarely will someone attempt to initiate a conversation when they have their own friends. Either way, you initiating the conversation gives you an "edge" over the person you're initiating the conversation with, as I said, makes you seem more outgoing, in turn the person would want to talk to you more.

 

[Fvantom]

Its not even that dude, my friend Ive been hanging out with gets to know EVERYONE, everyone seems to want to chill with him and I just want to have that way with people, I have no problem getting people to like me (a lot) but the probalem is they rarely take the chance to get to know me

 

[Ak5]

Might sound harsh but here goes: Possibly because he has a reputation of being outgoing and confident, and you don't?

 

[Fvantom]

-___- Im talking about random people, and I dont have a reputation period...thats what Im trying to do, get myself a reputation for being outgoing

 

[Lovely Smile]

You can meet a lot a people and know no one or you can meet a few and know everyone of them, it's nice to be the center of attention but those people will never be ones you trust and hold dear to you for long amounts of time. From personal experience friends come and go. Just keep positive and there will be someone out there who wants to know you.

 

[Ak5]

If it's random people then he has to be the one initiating conversations right? I mean he can't just walk into a bar and everyone goes to line up and want to talk to him lol. My best guess is that he has a lot of confidence and self-esteem. He initiates conversation with someone or some group of people and others see how comfortable and confident he is socializing, in turn, everyone wants to get to know him.

 

[Fvantom]

Something like that, Im just trying to figure out how I can get that air of confidence that people respond to

 

[Ak5]

Something like that, Im just trying to figure out how I can get that air of confidence that people respond to

That's the key.

 

[JamaisVu]

Have a relaxed stance, a pleasant facial expression, and a nice outfit (maybe something that conveys your personality or an interest). Strangers often start conversations with me by remarking on my clothes and appearance, so it's not a bad way to initially catch someone's attention and seem approachable. Once there's a conversation, keep it lively and flowing naturally so the other person is at ease. Have a broad range of knowledge about various topics, keep up with pop culture and current events, show enthusiasm. An active lifestyle helps. Have hobbies that other people will find interesting, people are probably more inclined to talk to someone who seems similar so seek out shared interests. Try to be a confident conversationalist, I've noticed some people are just natural storytellers who can captivate an audience with an anecdote and people just flock to them.

 

[nerdygirl]

I've been slowly starting to work on this sort of thing myself- but online. I finally got tired of not getting more than five comments on Youtube, no comments on Deviantart, etc.

For some people, this sort of thing comes naturally to them, but the rest of us must practice. It's not enough to have yourself out there. You have to take the initiative. I think it's easier if you start small- befriend somebody who isn't surrounded by people. Then do it again. Keep doing that until you're comfortable approaching strangers and engaging them in conversation. The next step would be to repeat that process with small groups- maybe three people. It'll be easier if one of those people in the first groups is somebody you met in the first step. Eventually, you'd want to be able to approach them even if you don't know any of them. From here, well... you don't really need to go to larger groups, but you could.

 

[cumulus.james]

Hope you have better luck than me. i never managed to get anyone to want to know me. The only one time was when i came into a bit of money, one finds one becomes suddenly all the more attractive. Once returned to my natural poorness things went back the way they had been. I gave up now because it is too late for me. Perhaps you can do better than me?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Hope you have better luck than me. i never managed to get anyone to want to know me. The only one time was when i came into a bit of money, one finds one becomes suddenly all the more attractive. Once returned to my natural poorness things went back the way they had been. I gave up now because it is too late for me. Perhaps you can do better than me?

Its never too late, but there is a central truth to that: generally, people become interested in you because you have something that can benefit them in some fashion or another. Even if its just being interesting and fascinating, it means that they think that spending time with you will be time that will be enjoyable and fun.

Work around that and I think that you'll find how to have people want to know you.

 

[Equinox]

I believe a person's greatest asset when it comes to socializing and attracting others, is their smile.

I always feel more relaxed and comfortable around people who come off as happy, cheerful, smiling. Friendly, basically. I've also noticed that when I'm in a good mood (thus smiling a lot) people approach me more often, they talk to me more, and they smile back at me. It makes perfect sense to me, really. Look at people, acknowledge their presence, and smile. Make them feel good about themselves, and they will adore you.

 

[HappyYogi]

Fvanton~

I just want to say I think I understand how you are feeling.

Like you, I can talk to many people and have fun doing it. I've also been told I am charming, attractive, etc but even so, even after seemingly having good, fun conversations, many don't want to go further.

I dont' know what it is, either. Perhaps they don't need/want friends. Perhaps they intuit we don't have enough in common. Perhaps I am not the type of friend they want. I don't know.

But I relate to what you say. I can chat up people and be friendly and warm yet that doesn't necessarily lead to the friendship, loyalty, caring that I desire.

Don't give up, though.