How do you cope with it ?

[Masson]

So in short I only found out about my social anxiety about 6 months ago , until then I just thought thats who I am. Problem is since I found out that this is a problem its like I cant keep my mind of it , Im always thinking about it and its goten worse now, atleast before I just went through every encounter like it was normal but now I can't get it out of my head.
I'm askins other members who have S.A. , how do you cope with this ? Besides doing something like a hobby , Im doing that but the moment I stop its back to crazy town.

 

[Sci-Fi]

You get used to it and it becomes a part of your everyday. The only time it bothers me is when I have to go to a group function or an event, or when places are really busy with lots of people around.

 

[whispers]

Why dont you just keep living the way you were. People say its a problem, a condition...what if its just a personnality trait, a result of your upbringing ? Like ADD, sorry but i dont beleive in it. when i was a child they were just very active, more manual than intellectual kids, now they make it a desease and drug them, to fit in the mold...

I used to think i had social anxiety, well now i just think i dont like crowds or large groups, I'm a small gang person or one on one. Thats what i enjoy, quality with the people you are with. Its ok to be like that, its ok to choose house parties instead of bars. Its ok to choose coffee with a friend instead of a concert. It's all about doing what you are confortable with.

 

[Masson]

Yeah....no , I am a more of a loner and also an introvert but the problem is there. If you consider - being afraid almost 24/7 of interacting with people and in a shock state when you are near some of them unable to say a word because you brain is so overwhelmed with everything thats going on that your like a robot - as normal then good for you but its not for me. Its one thing to just not like being around people or groups of people and another to be like in a cage with lions when near them.
I know who I am when I'm alone and that is not who I am when in the company of other people.

 

[whispers]

Sorry i didnt know it was to that extent. I still beleive that changing your perception, (not done overnight) is a way to at least improve how you feel with people. Beeing less self concious, knowing that they are realy no better than you... They are not lions, they are people, some are hurtfull but not all of them.

 

[Masson]

Yes I know all these things but you can't do anything when the anxiety kicks in, thats why its a mental problem you cant just start telling yourself that were all equal and theres no reason to be afraid and BOOM sunshine ,fluffy clouds, green grass and bouncing bunnies. I dont care about what others think about me , if their any better than me or if their cunts but as said above when this kicks in I forget everything which I am.

 

[sunshinemisa]

Why dont you just keep living the way you were. People say its a problem, a condition...what if its just a personnality trait, a result of your upbringing ? Like ADD, sorry but i dont beleive in it. when i was a child they were just very active, more manual than intellectual kids, now they make it a desease and drug them, to fit in the mold...

I used to think i had social anxiety, well now i just think i dont like crowds or large groups, I'm a small gang person or one on one. Thats what i enjoy, quality with the people you are with. Its ok to be like that, its ok to choose house parties instead of bars. Its ok to choose coffee with a friend instead of a concert. It's all about doing what you are confortable with.

I have to agree with whispers. I also found out recently that I have sa and it drove me crazy for awhile. I kept thinking if only idid this or if only I did that. The funny thing was, this past week was the first time that I didn't think about having sa at all. The weather was so beautiful that I was either walking/hiking, just sitting outside enjoying the beautiful weather, bbq ing, baking, reading on how to make bath bombs fizzies.

I am also more comfortable with one on one as oppose to group situations. That's just the way I am and if that's what makes you comfortable, don't change.

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Yes I know all these things but you can't do anything when the anxiety kicks in, thats why its a mental problem you cant just start telling yourself that were all equal and theres no reason to be afraid and BOOM sunshine ,fluffy clouds, green grass and bouncing bunnies. I dont care about what others think about me , if their any better than me or if their cunts but as said above when this kicks in I forget everything which I am.

It takes time Masson. Anxiety was and still is a part of my life. I know how you feel, at least you don't feel stupid for not saying anything or afraid of saying something stupid. That's how I feel whenever I talk to people. You at least don't care what others think of you. It took me along time to get to that place.

When my anxiety kicks into overdrive and I feel totally overwhelmed, I leave the group (saying I need some air or need to go to the bathroom) and try to relax. Focus on something, anything, calm down and go back and see what happens.

Good luck

 

[Masson]

I have to say I feel alot better , there was something seriously wrong with me for 2 weeks , my mood changed into a very dark one but I'm back to my old self now for some reason so thank God for that.
Yes I may not care about what others think when I'm myself , but it doesen't matter when Im around people. I don't know how S.A. is with other people but for me its the fear of getting judged by people for anything I do or say. But yeah I started to just tell myself its the S.A.'s fault now for everything (related to talking to people ) and I don't feel like a silent/akward nob anymore.
About "I am also more comfortable with one on one as oppose to group situations. That's just the way I am and if that's what makes you comfortable, don't change." shouldn't you try to be around more people intentionally to fight the S.A. ? I mean how are you supposed to make it dissapear or atleast have less of an impact on your life if you don't try to show yourself that everything is okay and its just in your head? I always tried doing things that made me feel uncomfortable like going to clubs , hang out with people I find difficult talking to and so on , granted that didn't go so great and unless I got drunk it never got better but still I can't just give up without a fight.

 

[Lost for now]

There's a book I'm reading by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and he says a problem is a problem as long as you think of it as a problem. As soon as you accept it, it becomes a fact and not a problem anymore.
Not sure if it's helpful to you but it did give me some direction.

 

[Masson]

Yes I'm aware that embracing the problem is key to recovery and I always tell myself that but saying and doing are two different things. I need to find a way to relax and contemplate on the issue the make myself believe that I have to accept it in order to control it.

 

[Lost for now]

Take up a hobby? Do what you think will sooth you. Write a poem, draw, paint, cook something or do whatever takes your mind off things and helps you think logically.
Sure, we all want someone who we could talk to and who'd understand, but that doesn't always work out for everyone. Ultimately, it is up to us to make ourself feel good about yourself, and if not that at least make yourself happy. I hope you find a way to do that.