How do you keep living?

[xninjaguyx]

How are you supposed to stay happy and healthy when you aren't wanted?
How do put on a fake smile when you know how fake people are? When you know that they deal with their own madness by unfairly blaming and taking it all out on you?
When you've done nothing but respect their boundries and problems, how do you continue to respect them when they don't respect you? When they've ruined everything good, everything you've worked for. When you've given more and accomplished more than they have, how do you get back on your feet after it's all lost?
When you stop being silent and decide to be honest with the people you have issues with, how do you take it back when it blows up in your face?
How do you live with angry, selfish jerks when you have no where else to go?
How do you live in a cycle where you're closest family always antagonizes you into a deep state of depression, but can't tolerate you because you're depressed? When they can't stand to see you happy or laughing either... It doesn't make sense. How do you react when the first thing they do when they see you is start yelling and screaming over stupid trivial matters when they are guilty of far worse? When you want to know what was done to deserve their hate. When they've never done a thing for you, ever. But they still expect you to talk to them as though they're upstanding human beings, yet they treat you like a dog.
What can you ask when instead of getting an answer to your questions, they mock you and call you the worst offenses. Insults a criminal doesn't even deserve to be called, simply because they can't, or don't want to, answer for their actions. When you can admit to your problems, but they not only don't admit to theirs, but literally claim that they have no problems.

How do you continue living when you're whole life has been lived in contempt?

How do you live when you're broken and beaten....and nobody cares?

 

[*Sammy*]

You live to show them that you are strong and wont let them beat you. If you let them beat you then they win do you really want people like that to win?...

I'm sorry if thats what you are going through and i wish i had more advise the best i can offer is try and find a friend out there who isn't like that (there are some of us not many but some) and keep strong.

 

[xninjaguyx]

You live to show them that you are strong and wont let them beat you. If you let them beat you then they win do you really want people like that to win?...

I'm sorry if thats what you are going through and i wish i had more advise the best i can offer is try and find a friend out there who isn't like that (there are some of us not many but some) and keep strong.

I don't mean to sound cynical, but I've tried to stay strong and I don't know if I have it in me anymore. I'm always anxious nowadays, and I'm just counting down the days till I have an emotional breakdown.

I don't really want to prove that I'm still standing as much as I wish they would admit that they have serious problems, and that they were wrong in using me as a means to justify why their life is so terrible.
Again, I know I sound cynical but I'm tired of always playing the optimist....

Thank you though sweet heart. I know there are decent people, but even they need time to understand and appreciate what a strange stranger is going through.

I just need time to collect myself...although I don't know how much time I have.

 

[EveWasFramed]

How do you live when you're broken and beaten....and nobody cares?

One day at a time, Ninja.
That's the best any of us can do. Some days will be better/worse than others, but the best we can do is to choose our battles and hope that we fight the good fight.
You're awesome - never believe anyone who says otherwise. *hug*

 

[xninjaguyx]

How do you live when you're broken and beaten....and nobody cares?

One day at a time, Ninja.
That's the best any of us can do. Some days will be better/worse than others, but the best we can do is to choose our battles and hope that we fight the good fight.
You're awesome - never believe anyone who says otherwise. *hug*

One day at a time...
I guess I'll just have to suck it up.

Thank you Eve. I'll try to believe it as much as you do.

 

[ladyforsaken]

One day at a time, Ninja.
That's the best any of us can do. Some days will be better/worse than others, but the best we can do is to choose our battles and hope that we fight the good fight.
You're awesome - never believe anyone who says otherwise. *hug*

My sentiments exactly.

Just keep walking, one step at a time. Remember though you're not alone.

And all those people who try to bring you down or already do, it's time to not let them win. It's time for you to just ignore them and believe in yourself, you can do better and definitely capable of better things.

 

[Ignis]

How are you supposed to stay happy and healthy when you aren't wanted?

Who says you aren't wanted? There is always someone out there who will care, who will want you for who you are. Even if they don't know it yet. If you feel you don't have that person, or people in your life right now... You need to hold out because they'll find their way to you.
Happiness is a momentary thing, and something that can be altered by outside influence and even - to a small extent; money. I've met people who don't have any friends at all, but are completely content with their lives. I've met people with hundreds of friends who are happy with their lives. There are people on both sides of the fence, and it depends on how you perceive things.

How do put on a fake smile when you know how fake people are? When you know that they deal with their own madness by unfairly blaming and taking it all out on you?

Not all people are fake. Genuine people do exist, I'd like to think I'm one of them (Mostly.) as are a lot of the people on this forum.
So how do you put on a fake smile? You don't. You put on a real smile, and show the world you have nothing to hide, show everyone that you're being real and yourself. Maybe they'll do the same.
As for blaming and shaming, that can be tough though it depends on the person. If you're someone who likes to listen and be there for people, you're going to get a lot of stuff dumped on you.
People who don't know how to manage their own problems or emotions tend to blame it on others as a way of managing it. If that's the case, you can either completely ignore them, or assist them in coming to terms with it.

When you've done nothing but respect their boundries and problems, how do you continue to respect them when they don't respect you?

Because it's a courtesy. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. You want to be respected? Respect others. Even if they throw it in your face, it doesn't mean you need to go over the top... But respect their opinions and who they are as a person and let them be on their way.

When they've ruined everything good, everything you've worked for. When you've given more and accomplished more than they have, how do you get back on your feet after it's all lost?

You answered your own question. How do you get back up? You've already accomplished more than they have, you've proven to yourself time and time again you have what it takes to do whatever it is you need to do. You'll be able to pick yourself up and get it done.
In order to accomplish, you must fail. When you fail, you pick yourself back up and try again. You've done it a thousand times over.

When you stop being silent and decide to be honest with the people you have issues with, how do you take it back when it blows up in your face?
How do you live with angry, selfish jerks when you have no where else to go?

Depends on how you went about it I suppose. If you're going to be brutally honest to them about your issues with them, expect a brutal response.
However, if you're having issues with someone NEVER take back what you've said. You deserve to be able to say the truth and what you're feeling. They need to accept that you're entitled to your opinion. If something they've said or done rubs you the wrong way, you should tell them. I would.

How do you live in a cycle where you're closest family always antagonizes you into a deep state of depression, but can't tolerate you because you're depressed? When they can't stand to see you happy or laughing either... It doesn't make sense. How do you react when the first thing they do when they see you is start yelling and screaming over stupid trivial matters when they are guilty of far worse? When you want to know what was done to deserve their hate. When they've never done a thing for you, ever. But they still expect you to talk to them as though they're upstanding human beings, yet they treat you like a dog.

You don't. You leave. If you don't like the cycle you're in, you break it.
I was in a position where I was being mocked, and antagonized by my parents all the time I had taken it for 15+ years and I couldn't anymore. I was getting to a point where I was thinking about ending things, but it was at that point I realized that I didn't have to end my life to fix my problem. All I had to do was leave. Just open the door and walk out.
Yeah, they're your parents, but if they treat you like you're nothing don't be afraid to walk away. They'll either realize they treated you poorly and your relationship with them will improve, or they'll say good riddance and move on... Either way, it's a win/win situation.

How do you continue living when you're whole life has been lived in contempt?

You change. You continue to live because you CAN make things better, because your life WILL improve.
You continue to live because if you've hit rock bottom, you can go no lower. It's only up.

How do you live when you're broken and beaten....and nobody cares?

Because you're better than this. You're better than any and every punishment. You're capable of taking anything and EVERYTHING life throws at you.
Because you're an amazing person who is capable of great things.
I know it probably doesn't help... But I care.

 

[Karastep]

Many among us have passed through that road but dont loose ur sanity stay focused.like me one my dad kicked me out of his house and i've never done anything which he could be proud of since all that i deed to him was nothing and trash he would call names .one day i walked out slept by the ocean but then things worked out am not rich but am trying my bit now work as aguard somewhere married and blessed with a 2yr old baby boy

 

[Clark Baxter]

Don't sink down to their levels. What you've said you've gone through definitely shows that you're stronger. You have empathy and know that the other people in your life have problems and aren't as strong to suck it up and yet be fair like you. I think people have this amazing quality to go on, no matter whatever the circumstances. You need to be strong and take it one day at a time. Remember you're stronger and they others aren't so give them some space because someone has to take the higher road.

 

[Jéssica Soares]

Darling, there's the naked truth: we don't need anyone but ourselves. Not in the literal sense but what I mean by that is you can't expect nobody to care about your own problems if you're waiting that miraculous solution that will make you happy to come from others. That is why I truly believe you're mistaken... you and almost the rest of the world so don't feel bad x)
You need to stop and think... I mean, really think. In you, in your life, in your dreams, in what you want for you... and one of the most simple but important things: what do you like to do in your free time?
That may sound silly, but it can be your "salvation". I mean, when I feel bad (really bad), I pick up a notebook and a pen and I write... not about my life or my problems, but I write fantasy novels. I'm writing something big now actually that I really want to publish. Imagine me as a famous writter of some famous fantasy novel in a few years x) and I found my talent when I was 13 and since then I've been improving my work, I really found an escape in that and I really enjoy it and that makes me happy. When I'm not inspired I can simply watch a movie or something... there's always something we like to do. When you finally find what is it you like to do, just do it and do it alone. You don't need anyone to make anything! You have to learn how to enjoy your loneliness sometimes and take advantage of it. You see, sometimes I want so badly to be alone that I have to lie to people who want to be with me xD I used to despise loneliness and now I need it sometimes. So what I'm suggesting is ... find comfort in something. It might be a silly thing to do but as long as you enjoy it, don't give a honeysuckle about what others could eventually think of it. Just do it and you'll see how your world can change. As I said in some topic before, people usually like good vibes. Believe me, I really like when someone transmits me a good energy. If you're happy doing something you like, you'll automatically transmit that happiness to others.
Just forget the negativity of others and try to be positive above everything. When you hear nasty comments just try to respect yourself all the rest can go to hell.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

I'm struggling with this parts of this too, ninja. Some people will never be happy no matter what you do. Some people don't know how to communicate their frustrations in a way that feels respectful to you.

The best thing that I can do is to know I can't control other people. I'm learning how to handle energy and recognize when people want to pull my energy away from me. I'm also learning how to stand up for myself, how to say "no", how and when to walk away, and get out of my victim-mentality. Try reading books on letting go, dysfunctional families and assertiveness. It's a process and recovery is a lifelong journey. You just have to be willing to change: not for others, but for yourself.

 

[xninjaguyx]

Thank you all for your comments.

I'm not asking for hapiness from others, I'm just asking that they would stop trying so hard to make me unhappy. That they would open up their minds every once in a while, if not their hearts.
I've been reading some self-help books though.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I live for myself, my friends, and my family (the ones that I like.)

Everyone else can go fresia themselves. I can't pretend that I have a lot of family members and former friends who are ********, but I just let them be. They will never change. I can, however, control MY behavior.

 

[xninjaguyx]

I live for myself, my friends, and my family (the ones that I like.)

Everyone else can go fresia themselves.

Indeed!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Everyone else can go fresia themselves.

Haha.. that was my favourite line for a period of time.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Baby steps and trying to see something beautiful in every moment.

 

[xninjaguyx]

Baby steps and trying to see something beautiful in every moment.

Being able to find the best in everything used to be a trait I was very proud of. But now most things just look ugly.
*Correction: Most things "man" look ugly. I still find nature and it's wonders to be beautiful. Which does include the purity and brilliance of the being that is human. But you really have to dig through the taint of the general population to see it.