How do you make an omlette out of bad eggs ?

[TheRealCallie]

Well, listen a little harder, because women say a lot of things.

The problem is that what they say donesn't always fit with what they do.

True, but by listen, I don't just mean listening to what she says. I mean listen with all your senses. What she does, what she says, what she sees. Actions always speak louder than words, IMO. That's true with everything.

YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT BECAUSE EACH WOMAN IS DIFFERENT!!! Just stop with that bullshit already.

If every woman is different, then what's the point on giving advice to men about them? You can't say be "this way" or "more like this" because all 3.5 billion women on earth are completely different from one another; not a single similarity, NOT A SINGLE ONE.

Well, if that were true, what's the point in giving advice on anything? Each person is different, so advice is simply just something for the person to try. Whether it's about women, men, medical problems (even medical honeysuckle is trial and error), depression, whatever else you can think of.
Just because you are given advice doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone or work on everyone. It's all about trial and error. But to say every person of a gender or race or medical problem is the same is wrong and, quite frankly, a little rude to assume.

BUT, just because each person is different doesn't mean that they don't have similarities. For instance, most people will want a healthy partner, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't fall in love with an unhealthy person.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Never herad a woman say: I want a positive men.

Neither have I.

C'mon we all know what women really want.

Well, listen a little harder, because women say a lot of things. Some have said they want a positive man. Some have said they want a good looking man. Some have said they want an intelligent man.

YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT BECAUSE EACH WOMAN IS DIFFERENT!!! Just stop with that bullshit already.

You are rude and back on my ignore list.
You can't write anything in a civil manner. You don't accept people have different opinions to yourself so you shout and scream.
I mean why the fresia should I listen to you ?
Do you think you stop me saying what I think and I how feel ?
No you can't.
All my life experiences and I am supposed to listen to you ?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'm not a defeatist about most things. I am fairly optimistic. But when it comes to women, I can't think for one second I will ever be successful. It's not up to me, I have no say whether a woman likes me. It's up to them. I can't force them.

There isn't anything I can do to make myself more attractive to women.

You can't force women to like you, that much is true. But you can sure influence them to. There are guys out there who consistently get the results they want. It can't just be dumb luck. It's like business - you can't force people to buy your product, for the most part. But if you figure out how to influence people to want it, how to show them that what you have meets their needs and their desires, you'll succeed. You have to sort of fit yourself around their desires, while still being true to yourself of course. I'm still trying to figure it out myself, but I do believe there are a lot of parallels between romance and business (probably why I'm not so good at both or on the other hand, why people who are good at one are usually good at the other).

There probably are things you could do. No being so friggin blunt and negative, losing some weight (going by an old photo you posted some time ago) , smiling etc. Whether you consider it worth dong is something else.

I agree there must be something he can do. I think it comes down to what one believes about oneself. Do you believe you have a chance or do you believe that you are stuck at the bottom? If you have nothing to lose you might as well try. Which would you rather believe?

Never herad a woman say: I want a positive men.

I have. I have also heard a woman say, in so many words, that she does not want a negative man. When I was positive and it seemed things were going alright for me, I have been received at least somewhat warmly. When I let down my guard and started to complain, things got bad, fast. And when I lost my temper and totally unraveled, they went from bad to worse. I think it's reasonable to assume that generally speaking, women want a positive man.

C'mon we all know what women really want.

While I must say women seem to like me as a friend / work mate etc. They don't find want me as anything else. Which really isn't that bad. Because I do enjoy talking to women in a casual way.

I would say that if I had to guess, women want a man who is confident, not necessarily rich but at least economically stable, interesting, and possessing a good amount of self-esteem. This is what I have observed consistently. You could say, well, what about the jerks then? They have some of those traits. I think that boils down to the idea that women want a good guy. They will settle for a macho man if they can't get a good guy, but they will pick the macho scumbag before a nice but self-loathing guy.

I really think it boils down to confidence. I get nervous with women I crush on because the stakes are high. But when I'm around women that I'm not crushing on, sometimes I have boatloads of confidence and sometimes it gets me noticed in a good way, even though I'm not trying to do anything. Something like this happened recently, so I can actually substantiate this claim.

The "just friends" thing is probably self-esteem. Guys with lots of self-esteem don't seem to get caught on this, while guys with not so much seem to smash into it like a brick wall. That's what I've seen and experienced at least.

I don't know any of this for certain, it's only conjecture. What I do know is that no guy got a girlfriend by telling himself he couldn't get a girlfriend. Try to take your golf mindset to this, perhaps. You know you're a winner there, so take the winner feeling to this. You can do it

 

[Xpendable]

True, but by listen, I don't just mean listening to what she says. I mean listen with all your senses. What she does, what she says, what she sees. Actions always speak louder than words, IMO. That's true with everything.

I can't be happy around a person that acts different from what they say and what they see. That's my point. Besides that sounds like a lot ot devotion to a person who I don't know if puts the same amount of effort into the opposite sex.

Well, if that were true, what's the point in giving advice on anything?

I don't know if that's true, I never said that, you did.

Each person is different, so advice is simply just something for the person to try.

But we can't try the same. And this forum seems to always give the same advice.

Just because you are given advice doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone or work on everyone.

Then don't get mad when someone tells you your advice doesn't work.

But to say every person of a gender or race or medical problem is the same is wrong and, quite frankly, a little rude to assume.

I never said that, I was being sarcastic. Stop strawmaning.

BUT, just because each person is different doesn't mean that they don't have similarities. For instance, most people will want a healthy partner, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't fall in love with an unhealthy person.

Then they don't really know what they want.

 

[TheRealCallie]

But to say every person of a gender or race or medical problem is the same is wrong and, quite frankly, a little rude to assume.

I never said that, I was being sarcastic. Stop strawmaning.

I never said you did. You responded to a post where I said not everyone is the same to someone who said every woman wants the same thing.

As far as knowing what we want. Well, in a way that's right. We can make a list of what we think we want or what we feel confident that we want, but that doesn't mean the person you fall for will fit the description you think you want. Naturally, some things are a given, like health. Of course you WANT that, but that doesn't mean that's what you will choose in the end because you don't get to decide who you fall in love with.

To make it easier, let's give an example with food. I WANT a pizza with real cheese or spicy as hell Mexican, but I can't have those things anymore because they aren't good for me, so I don't get to have what I want, but I still get what I NEED.

Just because a person wants something doesn't mean they will get it or even that they really want it at all. I'm sure you've had some experience where you wouldn't think you'd like someone, but after you got to know them, you realized that you were wrong or even that you wanted something, but after you got, you realized that you didn't really want it?

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm not a defeatist about most things. I am fairly optimistic. But when it comes to women, I can't think for one second I will ever be successful. It's not up to me, I have no say whether a woman likes me. It's up to them. I can't force them.

There isn't anything I can do to make myself more attractive to women.

You can't force women to like you, that much is true. But you can sure influence them to. There are guys out there who consistently get the results they want. It can't just be dumb luck. It's like business - you can't force people to buy your product, for the most part. But if you figure out how to influence people to want it, how to show them that what you have meets their needs and their desires, you'll succeed. You have to sort of fit yourself around their desires, while still being true to yourself of course. I'm still trying to figure it out myself, but I do believe there are a lot of parallels between romance and business (probably why I'm not so good at both or on the other hand, why people who are good at one are usually good at the other).

There probably are things you could do. No being so friggin blunt and negative, losing some weight (going by an old photo you posted some time ago) , smiling etc. Whether you consider it worth dong is something else.

I agree there must be something he can do. I think it comes down to what one believes about oneself. Do you believe you have a chance or do you believe that you are stuck at the bottom? If you have nothing to lose you might as well try. Which would you rather believe?

Never herad a woman say: I want a positive men.

I have. I have also heard a woman say, in so many words, that she does not want a negative man. When I was positive and it seemed things were going alright for me, I have been received at least somewhat warmly. When I let down my guard and started to complain, things got bad, fast. And when I lost my temper and totally unraveled, they went from bad to worse. I think it's reasonable to assume that generally speaking, women want a positive man.

C'mon we all know what women really want.

While I must say women seem to like me as a friend / work mate etc. They don't find want me as anything else. Which really isn't that bad. Because I do enjoy talking to women in a casual way.

I would say that if I had to guess, women want a man who is confident, not necessarily rich but at least economically stable, interesting, and possessing a good amount of self-esteem. This is what I have observed consistently. You could say, well, what about the jerks then? They have some of those traits. I think that boils down to the idea that women want a good guy. They will settle for a macho man if they can't get a good guy, but they will pick the macho scumbag before a nice but self-loathing guy.

I really think it boils down to confidence. I get nervous with women I crush on because the stakes are high. But when I'm around women that I'm not crushing on, sometimes I have boatloads of confidence and sometimes it gets me noticed in a good way, even though I'm not trying to do anything. Something like this happened recently, so I can actually substantiate this claim.

The "just friends" thing is probably self-esteem. Guys with lots of self-esteem don't seem to get caught on this, while guys with not so much seem to smash into it like a brick wall. That's what I've seen and experienced at least.

I don't know any of this for certain, it's only conjecture. What I do know is that no guy got a girlfriend by telling himself he couldn't get a girlfriend. Try to take your golf mindset to this, perhaps. You know you're a winner there, so take the winner feeling to this. You can do it

My past girlfriends have stopped me wanting anything to do with a woman in the future. All crazy. I don't want the drama. I want a quiet life.

I agree with a lot you say. You talk sense and I hope you meet a nice woman in the future.

 

[Xpendable]

I never said you did. You responded to a post where I said not everyone is the same to someone who said every woman wants the same thing.

Did he literally said that?

As far as knowing what we want. Well, in a way that's right. We can make a list of what we think we want or what we feel confident that we want, but that doesn't mean the person you fall for will fit the description you think you want.

I knew that, and it sucks. Honestly I don't have other way to describe it. I don't make lists, because I know what you like can be unexpected. But at this point why bother? Why can't people be straightforward? Are we dealing with adults?

To make it easier, let's give an example with food. I WANT a pizza with real cheese or spicy as hell Mexican,

Why would you think of pizza? And why it would be bad now and not before?

so I don't get to have what I want, but I still get what I NEED.

In my case both things are the same, because I don't go around my life in autopilot.

I'm sure you've had some experience where you wouldn't think you'd like someone, but after you got to know them, you realized that you were wrong or even that you wanted something, but after you got, you realized that you didn't really want it?

No. What what always happened was I kinda liked something, but knowing the person more always ended in disappointment. Society molds people in similar fashion, so I always found pretty much the same opinions and behaviors. Sometimes their character failed, sometimes their intelligence and sometimes their disposition to improve. I always hear you have to improve to found someone, but I honestly don't know if there's something better out there. And yes, I know you would say that there is; but we don't have the same concept of "better", since no one is the same.

 

[TheSkaFish]

My past girlfriends have stopped me wanting anything to do with a woman in the future. All crazy. I don't want the drama. I want a quiet life.

I agree with a lot you say. You talk sense and I hope you meet a nice woman in the future.

Thanks man. I already have met some nice women, I just need to show them that I'm worth it

I hope you meet a nice woman too, if you ever want to try again. Just make sure to start feeling good about yourself, no matter what you decide to do. It's hard to make it in the world if we can't be a friend to ourselves first.

 

[Veruca]

Thanks man. I already have met some nice women, I just need to show them that I'm worth it

I hope you meet a nice woman too, if you ever want to try again. Just make sure to start feeling good about yourself, no matter what you decide to do. It's hard to make it in the world if we can't be a friend to ourselves first.

Ive meet men who are complete jerks and men who were nice. Most of them were jerks. But I just say screw the jerks because lets face it there are a lot of crappy people.

Id rather appreciate and focus on the good guys Ive been fortunate enough to meet. And I dont want to make generalisations because that would be an insult to all the great, wonderful guys out there.

And I dont think the good guys would want a bitter/frustrated/desperate/clingy me. So I try to be who I think they might like. Someone with good values who is positive and kind perhaps? Thats not great sacrfice on my part to be a better person. I may never find a good guy to be with but at least I would have spent my whole life being a good person or at least aiming towards it.

I think being this way is a lot better than just building up an aversion towards women. Everyone has bad experiences. Its up to you whether to let it bring you down or motivate you to be unlike those people.

 

[BeyondShy]

You are rude and back on my ignore list.
You can't write anything in a civil manner. You don't accept people have different opinions to yourself so you shout and scream.
I mean why the fresia should I listen to you ?
Do you think you stop me saying what I think and I how feel ?
No you can't.
All my life experiences and I am supposed to listen to you ?

Let me tell you why she got aggravated here. Callie has probably read one too many times on what ALL women really want and what ALL women really feel and what ALL women really mean, etc, etc ad nauseam.

Think about this for second. Let's say you know a guy and he's married. But he also drinks and runs around with other women for the fun of it. Would it be accurate to say all married men do the same? Some do, not all. The same as some women want a certain thing and some women could care less about the same thing.

I hope that explains that.

Callie's a very civil person. I just think listening to the same ALL women do this and that statement gets to be too much after awhile. And why should you listen to her? I say why not? She is a level headed and intelligent woman. Who wouldn't want to get the opinions from someone like that?

Ive meet men who are complete jerks and men who were nice. Most of them were jerks. But I just say screw the jerks because lets face it there are a lot of crappy people.

Id rather appreciate and focus on the good guys Ive been fortunate enough to meet. And I dont want to make generalisations because that would be an insult to all the great, wonderful guys out there.

And I dont think the good guys would want a bitter/frustrated/desperate/clingy me. So I try to be who I think they might like. Someone with good values who is positive and kind perhaps? Thats not great sacrfice on my part to be a better person. I may never find a good guy to be with but at least I would have spent my whole life being a good person or at least aiming towards it.

I think being this way is a lot better than just building up an aversion towards women. Everyone has bad experiences. Its up to you whether to let it bring you down or motivate you to be unlike those people.

There are just so many ways to attack this that I won't even bother. I'll just smile and say you're right while keeping how I really feel to myself.

 

[Xpendable]

Let me tell you why she got aggravated here. Callie has probably read one too many times on what ALL women really want and what ALL women really feel and what ALL women really mean, etc, etc ad nauseam.

Think about this for second. Let's say you know a guy and he's married. But he also drinks and runs around with other women for the fun of it. Would it be accurate to say all married men do the same? Some do, not all. The same as some women want a certain thing and some women could care less about the same thing.

I hope that explains that.

Callie's a very civil person. I just think listening to the same ALL women do this and that statement gets to be too much after awhile. And why should you listen to her? I say why not? She is a level headed and intelligent woman. Who wouldn't want to get the opinions from someone like that?

I hear generalizations about men all the time and I don't react like that. Especially if I'm in a position of mediation. It takes some maturity to not turn to caps and yell every time you see something that bothers you.

Ive meet men who are complete jerks and men who were nice. Most of them were jerks. But I just say screw the jerks because lets face it there are a lot of crappy people.

Id rather appreciate and focus on the good guys Ive been fortunate enough to meet. And I dont want to make generalisations because that would be an insult to all the great, wonderful guys out there.

And I dont think the good guys would want a bitter/frustrated/desperate/clingy me. So I try to be who I think they might like. Someone with good values who is positive and kind perhaps? Thats not great sacrfice on my part to be a better person. I may never find a good guy to be with but at least I would have spent my whole life being a good person or at least aiming towards it.

I think being this way is a lot better than just building up an aversion towards women. Everyone has bad experiences. Its up to you whether to let it bring you down or motivate you to be unlike those people.

There are just so many ways to attack this that I won't even bother. I'll just smile and say you're right while keeping how I really feel to myself.

And this how you do selective reasoning. Pretty transparent way of showing your bias.

 

[BeyondShy]

I hear generalizations about men all the time and I don't react like that. Especially if I'm in a position of mediation. It takes some maturity to not turn to caps and yell every time you see something that bothers you.

I just think that when you read the same thing over and over again on how all women want this and this and this it gets to be a little frustrating.

And this how you do selective reasoning. Pretty transparent way of showing your bias.

Well, if you say so. I just decided at the last minute not to say something that would have been dismissed anyway.

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

Yikes, these generalizations about "what women really want" are pretty sad & frustrating. Both genders have crappy stereotypes about them, everyone can agree right? It's hurtful to hear constantly that women are money hungry, bitchy & shallow...men don't like hearing that all men want is sex & are cheaters. That's something both genders need to overcome to connect with each other. Easier said than done, of course. Especially reading these comments.

Sorry TB, should have helped give tips on superficial things like how to change your wardrobe, hairstyle, beard, etc. I haven't seen a pic of you so I went the "have a good personality" route. Truly meant for it to be sincere.

 

[Solivagant]

Yikes, these generalizations about "what women really want" are pretty sad & frustrating. Both genders have crappy stereotypes about them, everyone can agree right? It's hurtful to hear constantly that women are money hungry, bitchy & shallow...men don't like hearing that all men want is sex & are cheaters. That's something both genders need to overcome to connect with each other. Easier said than done, of course. Especially reading these comments.

^ +1.

 

[Xpendable]

I just think that when you read the same thing over and over again on how all women want this and this and this it gets to be a little frustrating.

That's because they don't understand how generalizations work, or don't care.

 

[BeyondShy]

I just think that when you read the same thing over and over again on how all women want this and this and this it gets to be a little frustrating.

That's because they don't understand how generalizations work, or don't care.

No, that's not it. Try giving women more credit than this. You'll find that they understand very well.

 

[Xpendable]

No, that's not it. Try giving women more credit than this. You'll find that they understand very well.

Not all women understand very well. Stop generalizing.

 

[EveWasFramed]

*facepalm*

 

[Xpendable]

*facepalm*

Something useful to add?





And don't respond "do you?".

 

[EveWasFramed]

*facepalm*

Something useful to add?





And don't respond "do you?".

I can add wtf I want. *facepalm* was all I thought some of the comments deserved.