How many friends have you made here?

[mimizu]

People come here to speak about how lonely there are. "Please talk to me". "I am so lonely." "I am so bored." So here we all are, lonely and bored... why can't we help each other and become friends? Maybe it's just me being left out again...

Here is a poll... how many netfriends have you made here that you speak to on a regular basis?

 

[lonely2beeme]

i dunno i answered 4+......... i actually talk alot on pm with people however sadly i dont really think of any as a friends maybe 1 almost is becoming a friend time will tell. i think most are just aquaintences ,i dont think these friends will keep in touch.
i often think the same thing i wish everyone here might more actively try and get to know each other,date each other,met and go out as friends even.but just a example ,look at the pics thread you will see that most for whatever reasons dont really want to make a connection dont want to take a risk ,or be known so it all stops there.mostly we come here to ompare our crappy lives see who has it worse maybe help them out feel a lil better about ourselves for the efort and knowing someone has it worse or at least i am not alone in this feeling ,its kinda like suicide hotline i think.just reaching out in desperation,truely i wish i could get more people to talk on mic wth me or webcam and really get to know them,people who really do want to help who would say hey come to my town i will help you find a plac to work and find out about welfare ,benifits ,section8 vouchers and stuff that really matters ,but mostly i find simple answers to difficult problems and people who are too wrapped up in thier own problems to really take on any one elses ,can i blame them no ! because i myself can not help anyone,if they wanted to come here sure ,and i hope oneday when i get on my feet i can help someone else out,but that still wont make anyone really want to be friends you need 2 for that not just one.by the way mimizu i am useing my daughters yahoo so add me there if you wanna talk any time,she couldnt stand it when she couldnt get her messages from her friends.
i dont care i people see me,i dont care of they want to meet me ,GREAT! because i am lonely and you take a risk meeting people anywhere ,at bars at work even on internet ,its just another venue no more eveil than anywhere else and yet if we never make friends we will always be lonely.so i will take a chance because i for one am sick and tired of being afraid of everything in my life and need some changes ,trying to make a friend is a much easier problem to solve than to try and find work,income,a place to live ,...etc.
so i have webcam ,i have a mic ,pm me for email addy if you want to talk to me.
life is too short

 

[emotionless]

I believe I haven't made any, but a lot people have given me good advice. I voted 0.

 

[downgrade]

I don't think I have made any, but I come here to help and to share my experiences. Sometimes my advice might make others mad, but I do try my best.

 

[lonelygirl]

Well even if you haven't yet made a friend online it's fun to come and see what others are thinking about.

 

[Elaeagnus]

so i have webcam ,i have a mic ,pm me for email addy if you want to talk to me.
life is too short

FYI- don't forget that not everyone has those or is comfortable using them. I don't have a webcam or a mic, and I can't get any sort of instant messaging to work through my firewalls. Also, we are all spread out across the globe, so we're all on at completely different times. I guess my point is that we shouldn't feel bad if all we get are replies in the open threads, or a PM from time to time. I think there are lots of people who read the posts and are thinking about everyone here.

 

[michael in glasgow]

I suppose people can approach others on this board in at least a couple of different ways. either looking for what Mimizu describes. I mean just simple friendship, talking about bands, sports, what the weather's like, what do you think of x, y and z?

Or I could approach someone by telling them all of my problems to the exclusion of theirs and never ever finding out a thing about who they actually are.

I know I would genuinely CARE more about the first type of person's problems because I CARE about them- I would have a mental picture of them and would, soon enough, care about the times they want to be dark and ask for help. Maybe they had made me smile or shown me some kindness and then I would naturally want to respond in kind.

Eleagnus has it spot on too- I know I am too shy to speak on the phone to new people. Hell, I detest the thing- I don't enjoy speaking to anyone on the phone. Email or messenger though? That I can handle.

I won't vote in the poll because I've only been here a few days but I can say I was made very welcome soon after I first posted and I have had a few emails/ PMs from others. They've been friendly exchanges and who knows? Maybe someone on here will end up a firm friend. And anyway, I would love some acquaintances, people just to pass a bit of time with even if We don't connect on any deep level.

Why not just pick an active member at random and PM them hello? How many of us are here in the first place because that is exactly what we would like to happen to us?

Michael

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

There are a couple of people here that I actaully PM and think about... But LG - I wonder the same thing about keeping in touch forever.... It is like high school - you are together thinking that it will be forever... then after school you just sort of lose touch. It's not that I wouldn't want to be there for you all - but I understand how people get busy with their own lives.. Even the best of friends lose touch...

 

[lonely2beeme]

so i have webcam ,i have a mic ,pm me for email addy if you want to talk to me.
life is too short

FYI- don't forget that not everyone has those or is comfortable using them. I don't have a webcam or a mic, and I can't get any sort of instant messaging to work through my firewalls. Also, we are all spread out across the globe, so we're all on at completely different times. I guess my point is that we shouldn't feel bad if all we get are replies in the open threads, or a PM from time to time. I think there are lots of people who read the posts and are thinking about everyone here.

yep certainly its not for everyone but in reply to mimizu who asked
"People come here to speak about how lonely there are. "Please talk to me". "I am so lonely." "I am so bored." So here we all are, lonely and bored... why can't we help each other and become friends? Maybe it's just me being left out again..."
im just saying i agree ,why arent we all more active in trying to be friends,we all are lonely right? mimizu isnt being left out as much as most dont wanna be "known" want to keep thier identity secret,i have nothing to be ashamed about, doubt it will be found out but if anything surfaces oh well,that could happen from any venue in life ,close friends ex bf ,ex husband even might post personal things ,pics etc. cant hide out foreve thinking what if??
most who can afford and comp plus internet hookup can afford the $5 splurge on a mic,maybe skip that mcdonalds meal today ?as far as a mic stopping someone cheap ones cost $5 mine costs $10 ita a headset headphones and mic for privacy from my kids,webcam the one on the laptop cheap $10 the one on my desktop $80 the bestwas a present,
firewall settngs can be changd to use messenger services you can get one that will work there are several out that many people use voice programs. i use one called teamspeak that is easy,try and get help from computer savvy members for that,also you can use TS heres link
http://ww.goteamspeak.com
its a very small program used by gamers mostly its light so as not to cause lagg while playing ,very easy to use no one has problems with firewalla but it is a voice program not a typinng one and someone has to host a server whilemembers just use a client.as far as being all over the globe thats even bette that means when you get those midnight anxiety attacks usually someone somewhere is online my day ar your nights your nights my days ,better than being alone all night.
s my point is you only limit yourself to how many friends you make on here to how willing you are to put yourself out there and how willing the person is you approach, but coming to the forum was a step,so take another ,send a pm ,request a chat,find out how to learn more or talkwith people you feel have something in common with .
remeber you are only as happy as you allow yourself to be.

 

[Elaeagnus]

I think just coming to this forum has helped me a lot. I didn't come here looking to make friends or to alleviate my boredom; I wanted to know there were other people out there like me and to be able to share ideas, stories, and opinions with them. That's definitely what we do in the forum.

As for more contact than that, I think we will just have to agree to disagree. People who want to make close friends here should feel free to do so, but it shouldn't be an expectation or a requirement of anyone. I'll reiterate my point that I would not feel safe if I revealed my identity through pics, webcam, etc. Other people might be willing to take that risk, but there are plenty of us who are not. I think going outside your comfort zone can be a good thing, but I don't think anyone should do something they honestly believe is unsafe or could be harmful. Just as I would not give my address to a stranger at a bar or meet up with someone that I don't know, I would also not share my contact info, pics, or anything like that with a stranger I meet online. That doesn't mean I don't value the interactions that I have here in the forum. I really do. But I'm going to stick with posting in the threads and PMing.

 

[lonely2beeme]

I think just coming to this forum has helped me a lot. I didn't come here looking to make friends or to alleviate my boredom; I wanted to know there were other people out there like me and to be able to share ideas, stories, and opinions with them. That's definitely what we do in the forum.

As for more contact than that, I think we will just have to agree to disagree. People who want to make close friends here should feel free to do so, but it shouldn't be an expectation or a requirement of anyone. I'll reiterate my point that I would not feel safe if I revealed my identity through pics, webcam, etc. Other people might be willing to take that risk, but there are plenty of us who are not. I think going outside your comfort zone can be a good thing, but I don't think anyone should do something they honestly believe is unsafe or could be harmful. Just as I would not give my address to a stranger at a bar or meet up with someone that I don't know, I would also not share my contact info, pics, or anything like that with a stranger I meet online. That doesn't mean I don't value the interactions that I have here in the forum. I really do. But I'm going to stick with posting in the threads and PMing.

well i dont think we should agree to disagree as we arent disagreeing you simply have your view and how far you can step out of your box and i simply am offering my bit of advise none of it is a requierment or a expectation ,this isnt a date site however people with the same problems may want to actually make friends here and if they hadent figured out how i just gave a lil advise just like you do on these forums however children be careful and have permission and guidence in useing cams, then maybe some women think they might be targets ,mostly i find very few guys are paranoid that they are targets of internet predators so i suppose this is the group who may feel more comfortable makeing friends online.
well as you said you dont come looking to these forums to make friends and thats good and fine for you but in the spirit of trying to give advise to mimizu who was asking in the original post why cant we all be friends?i was trying to give advise on the many ways possiable to make friends online,if just posting on forums seemed to be lacking the personal friendship feeling.
i myself have talked with bluey from this site .a guy from the uk on webcam several times a absolutely nice and funny guy,i actually would regret not having spoke with him.he is a wonderful person.would love to meet more tbh.
but you have to do what you feel is right and in no way am i saying im right and your wrong,if all you can do is post in forum and pm then thats fine,so if someone wants to make a friend they would probably be asking someone who is more open to ia friendship then just forum responses and if someone asks you ,you are certainly allowed to decline as well as accept to whom you see as fit.
not a dsagreement its a difference of opnion or advise to mimizu
kinda like the way you explained being agnostic does not equal anger at god for getting a raw deal in life tho many may feel that way not everyone .same kinda thing here many may not want/afraid to make friends with people here really but doesnt mean all do.mimizu should just look at forums try contacting the males 1st ,then females try messengers and haveing convos and if the relationship gets that far well letters and pics ,cams or mics who knows a friendship may start somewhere if you find someone you have something in common with is the greatest key tho something besides the lonliness factor

 

[Elaeagnus]

Cool. I hope I didn't come across as hostile. I just think it's important that everyone here knows that they can use the forum however they like as long as it doesn't hurt or interfere with others. I'm glad you've had some good experiences with the webcam chats.

 

[lonely2beeme]

Cool. I hope I didn't come across as hostile. I just think it's important that everyone here knows that they can use the forum however they like as long as it doesn't hurt or interfere with others. I'm glad you've had some good experiences with the webcam chats.

hehehe nope just hate a misunderstanding its why i actually prefer a mic than writing .
i have a friend ,he is black ,now you guys have to realize i grew up outside of america for the last 20 years i dont conciously think about racism the way americans might.same with british and europeans .america is much more sensative to racism.anyway i know a black man and he always comes out of the blue with comments like"i dont hink of you as white" or "have you ever been racist?" i think lol really???are you asking me that? a woman who has been the only minority for the last 20 years in japan in ways he cant understand,no friends family or back up support ,i cant get a job,kids get told to dye thier hair black and fit in at school,i have 3 mixed race kids ,husband is not white..........so i said "no what about you?" lol he gets mad at me "how can you say that?" this was all typeing too i said "no fair thats a double standard ,you can ask me ,but i cant ask you?" .or when he calls all women bit*h including me however i know its just his way of talking cause his tone is never harsh when he says it and when he types he switches to dear lol bit*h =dear when he types to avoid a fight ,however when talking he uses bit*h affectionately but i cannot use the "N" word affectionately......i find these double standards confusing and if i never heard a person like this by voice just typeing i would probably gotten tired of them,however when we talk by mic we never ever argue,yet when we chat by written word alone his toes get stepped on .........so i try and avoid him if he isnt gonna use a mic,cause we end up argueing when we write.so double standards aside we ind we are great friends the less we write the more we talk.
for some people him,myself and some others hearing the persons voice and knowing for sure that what they say isnt meant in a hostile way from the tone can make all the difference in the world.
its hard to read some peoples tone while others you have no doubt it is sarcasism which they will claim later it isnt.they were jus jokingggggg come on get over it ! lol cant count how many times heard that.
but i hope mimizu finds some riends on here,its a hit and miss kinda thing.
sorry if anyone is black and got offended at my story its just a exampe of something that happens to me and i really hate misunderstandings over words.

 

[BrokenDreams]

I agree. I haven't made any friends here, I've just met accuatinances. I've met people who were nice to talk to and who gave me adivce. I haven't really met anyone who I talk to on a regular basis, just now and them through the forums and messages.

 

[Colette]

I've made one friend here and we PM.

 

[Empathy]

I have made two, good, lasting friends. We don't visit here much now but use IM and phone.

It's about effort on both sides. It's hard to find people willing to put effort into things.

 

[RogueTomato]

It is slightly disheartening to know I haven't made any friends when there are others on the boards who have. Though, it may be a consequence of my somewhat new membership. However, I still enjoy reading everyone's posts.

 

[LonelyDaisy]

I believe I haven't made any, but a lot people have given me good advice. I voted 0.

I feel the same way. Mostly the people who offered be good friends with me are mostly males which I find pretty annoying...

 

[Blue Sky]

Well I have made friends with both males and females on this forum. People aren't always going to appear out of the woodwork ask you to be friends with them, sometimes you have to make the first step forward to making friends yourself.

 

[Lost in the Oilfield]

What is a friend defined as:
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.

I put +4 because I feel many of the people I have come to know a little on here fall under the fourth definition if not the third or higher. I like many people that I have met, even when some of them have been negative toward me... just means that there's something new I need to work on improving, and in real life some of the people I respect the most (not necessarily friends with though) are those that are blunt, and point out directly what they don't like about me. Nobody can be more honest about their view of you than someone that does not like you
It's actually funny when I go up to them and ask them exactly what they don't like about me and what they think I should try and improve... I've stunned some mean people into baffled silence before with this approach and even gave them a shock to the way they saw me and made them change their view a little bit toward me... and I got some very useful insight into faults in my own character that I may not have realized before.
That being said though, many people when they attack someone else irrationally usually use things that would hurt them as ammunition against you... so they reflect their own fear and shortcomings through their anger. Anyway just the way I see things I suppose.