how to carry on?

[confusedandalone]

Ok, i hope nobody minds me telling my story. I was with a guy for 3 years and worked with him so we had lots of joint friends. I made really good friends with his friends and from there made friends of my own. We have since split up and i have had to go back and live with my parents 5 hours away. I feel so alone and upset cos i've not been single for 6 years and dont think i can go on on my own. He was the love of my life and he has everything, while i have nothing. I live in the country now and i cant see life getting any better. im 23 and have a lot of life ahead but i dont want to be me. i have nothing to offer, and nothing to look forward to. what is the point in it all?!!

 

[Bluey]

Your 23. You have plenty to look forward to. I got 10 years on you and I still think I got plenty to look forward to.

Anyway I just wanted to say this is what this place is all about, telling our stories and expressing ourselves. So no one well mind your post That's why your here is it not.

Welcome to our home

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

Alot of good people here, people I'm proud to call friends.
We are all in the same boat or have been there.

So, Welcome.

 

[Oceanmist23]

Hi confusedandalone, welcome to the forum!

Oh sweety, I'm sorry to hear that the relationship didn't work out...
But believe me, you CAN go on, and in time you will find love again.
It must be extra hard for you in a time like this to be so far away from the good friends you made.
Can I ask why you had to move back to live with your parents? Is there any way you can move back to where you lived before, or somewhere close to it? I hope you're keeping in good touch with your friends via phone/email/chat, because that's important both for you and them.
You're more than welcome to PM me and talk about what you're going through. I haven't experienced exactly the same as you, but I'm happy to listen and give you my support. I'm also 23, soon to be 24

Wish you all the best

 

[Brian]

What oceanmist ^ said. Is there any way to be back in the city with your friends?

It sounds like you have plenty to offer and look forward to, if you were able to maintain a relationship that long. It's understandable though for you to feel so empty and down-trodden; you just lost a really big part of your life. Someone that you not only cared for, but probably formed a lot of your daily routine around. I would liken it to a phantom limb after an amputation...you got really used to that left arm being there, but now it's gone and you have to adapt, even though you're still going to feel that arm for a while.


...The difference being, of course, that you can probably get a new boyfriend easier than a new arm. ...Yeah.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm sorry for your lost.

well...One foot in front of the other, I suppose.
Sometimes you take 1 step forward and 2 steps back...
It's okay though...as least you're standing up and willing to walk.

Be gentle to yourself. Try to take care of yourself.
Love yourself...yeah, it's probably one of the hardest thing to and the last thing you want to do.
If you need a good cry, allow yourself to do so.

It's okay to feel what you feel or go through the vary stages of the grieving process.
Try not to isolate yourself and reach out to others.

yeah..some stages are wierd. I try not to judge myself or get too seriouse or make major decisions when I get a certain way. It's becuase I'm hurt and need healing. I don't make good decisions when I'm mentally and
emotionally hurted. I try not to beat up myself anymore.

Yeah..i hate going through the stage of runing the millions of questions that there's really not an answer to.
My mind dose it becuase it wants to resovle a problem that can't be solved.
Very fustrating at times...yeah, I usually tell myself there's no piont to all of this either.
After 10 -20 times of that...I kind of move beyound that type of thinking...
So I guess that's why I had to love myself through all of it no matter what.

Acceptence...won't take away your pain, but it might allow for the healing process to begin.
It might also unlock your mind or act like a light in what seems like total darknest.

well...I'm at the I can't hold her but I don't want to be held or touched by anyone at the moment.

well..there's no piont to it really..It's where I'm at today...it's okay though.
I might change my mind tomorrow.

 

[Minus]

That is a difficult time and i am sorry that you are going through it. It is at such times that you realize how intertwined your lives and plans had become. It is just plain difficult. Things can look pretty bleak when you are going through it but i can assure you that you have plenty to look forward to and plenty to offer, not that you are going to believe that at the moment. I do wish you the best in this difficult time and welcome to the forum.

 

[Unacceptance]

If one person saw 6 years worth of time investment in yourself, there is bound to be another who sees at least twice that.

 

[confusedandalone]

Thanks guys, it is so nice to have some human contact! It was lovely to look at the post today and find that people have replied! Gives you hope for the rest of humanity hey. I knew the minute i'd written it that it sounds like a sob story and that im being naieve in what i think, but you know in your darkest moments it doesnt really matter as all your negative thoughts consume your very being. you cant concentrate, you feel numb, you feel sick, you think 'well, what the hell is there left?' and it still feels the same. i wonder how long it takes for you to feel ok again. I have no trust in myself to interact properly with people, to do a job, tto find my way around on my own, to not feel thick, to not analyse everything. my parents have told me to stop being self pitying but inside i just want to jump off a cliff (or something else very high up). you people are the good'uns. i have trust here at least. thank you for letting me be me.

 

[Steel]

Hey, and welcome.