I can't deal with being ugly anymore.

[ardour]

People attribute ugly character traits to ugly faces, so the ugly end up being judged as "bad people".

 

[perfanoff]

People attribute ugly character traits to ugly faces, so the ugly end up being judged as "bad people".

If I remember correctly, that's actually scientifically-proven.

Not to mention all kids' and other fables (Illiad comes to mind) where the bad guys always have a physical defect, a hunchback, or a witch with a skewed nose, etc. It might have been like that so it helps kids identify more readily biologically "bad" traits with morally "bad" traits.

Hm, I think I just learned something new.

Now we live long enough so that mistakes are not fatal and behavioral learning can take a higher priority than biological programming. We're kind of blessed I guess. Well, if we don't destroy our lives until we wise up as mature people.

 

[ardour]

People attribute ugly character traits to ugly faces, so the ugly end up being judged as "bad people".

If I remember correctly, that's actually scientifically-proven.

Not to mention all kids' and other fables (Illiad comes to mind) where the bad guys always have a physical defect, a hunchback, or a witch with a skewed nose, etc. It might have been like that so it helps kids identify more readily biologically "bad" traits with morally "bad" traits.

Hm, I think I just learned something new.

Now we live long enough so that mistakes are not fatal and behavioral learning can take a higher priority than biological programming. We're kind of blessed I guess. Well, if we don't destroy our lives until we wise up as mature people.

It appears to be mostly biologically based. I’m sure you’ve heard this but people instinctively view attractive as more genetically fit, so other advantageous traits like intelligence, competence, mental stability, sociability etc. are all subconsciously associated with beauty. Even babies show a more positive response to attractive faces. On the other hand ugly people have to battle against negative perceptions... lower mental capacity, unfriendly, deviant and so forth.

Facial symmetry and head shape are a clear indicator of perceived attractiveness across cultures, so it’s not merely about how a person presents themselves or their expression.

 

[perfanoff]

Well it's true. But on the other hand it's not unheard of, at all, to have ugly people have successful relationships. The problem is that physical attractiveness is one of the few readily visible factors that determine whether people will initially even bother with you to show your (presumably) other attractive qualities.

I guess the best way is to acknowledge the fact but work with it, and try to compensate. Everyone is dealt a different card in life, and has to work with accordingly. A guy with double aces will go all-in pre-flop, and a guy with suited connectors will slow-play until the turn or the river comes. It's also not uncommon at all of the guy with the suited connectors to have the nuts at the river.

 

[ardour]

You can't force people to give out chances. All you can do is try and be likeable, if no response, that is that.

My social life seems to be limited to the few people I've met who don't care that I'm ugly. I've never managed to convince anyone who recoiled from my appearance that I was worthwhile... either I wouldn't get a chance to speak, or they were so closed off nothing I said really mattered.

 

[Evil_Genius]

But confidence despite ones appearance is always a very potent force to counter the fact you look like someone took a shovel to your face repeatedly.

people tend to flock to personality as well as mere looks.

 

[Jocsaint]

Hey, not to be "that guy" but a lot of chicks look... Let's say, "off" when they aren't wearing makeup. I'm just saying. I don't judge people though. Well, I guess I sort of do, but doesn't everybody? Ahem...

 

[ardour]

But confidence despite ones appearance is always a very potent force to counter the fact you look like someone took a shovel to your face repeatedly.

people tend to flock to personality as well as mere looks.

they tend to flock to personality with looks.

 

[Evil_Genius]

yes, but unless so blessed, you gotta go with what you got.

So removing the shovel from my face, I just have t let my inner dynamo of wit and charm be my outer face.

 

[duff]

You can't force people to give out chances. All you can do is try and be likeable, if no response, that is that.

My social life seems to be limited to the few people I've met who don't care that I'm ugly. I've never managed to convince anyone who recoiled from my appearance that I was worthwhile... either I wouldn't get a chance to speak, or they were so closed off nothing I said really mattered.

the people who reject you based on your looks aren't worth knowing !

---

first impressions are based on looks but after that it's personality.

On the other hand if I meet a woman who has a great personality then I tend to like the way they look !

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What is interesting is that the old people, who are wrinkled and have lost their looks, can party up without caring what people think about them. They have no image to live up to anymore, so they can just be themselves.

There is something to be said that, as you get older, the less you care about what people think about you. Biologically, it makes sense.

I will probably be the rocker in the old folks home. Give me a guitar, a wheelchair, and an amp, and I can bring the house down. Grandpa is bringin' it!

 

[VanillaCreme]

You can be any age - teens, 20's, 30's, 40's - and not care what people think of you. If you do care, at any age, then you decide to care.