I feel like a scum bag

[Mike510]

So as many of you may know my financee left me a few months back just before we were supposed to get married. Anyway I left home and have been living in a new location the past 2 months. Well since I arrived here I have not really been able to meet people face to face very good, it's a small town and everyone kind of goes about there bussiness.

A couple weeks ago I created an online dating profile and at first no one responded to my messages. I evntually got one women to respond and we talked for a bit. Anyway the next day she didn't send me any messages and I felt kind of lonely and unwanted so I litterialy messaged like 20 girls (pretty bad I know). Later that night I went online and found my inbox full almost all of them replied. I been talking to about a dozen of them the past 4 or 5 days now continuessly and I feel like I am leading most of them on. I suppose I am just desperate for female attention after what happend but I also feel like what I am doing isn't right either. The worst part is I know I should stop but yesturday I messaged 2 new girls as well. I don't know what to do.

 

[Solitary man]

Don't feel too bad about it. What you are failing to consider is that most of these women you are chatting to are also probably talking to 15-20 other guys and know that they are leading you on, and don't care.

It's all a mind-game, and mind-games are what women like playing.

 

[Mike510]

Yeah but I can't help but continue seaking out more and each day to add to the confusion

 

[theglasscell]

You can't take that online dating stuff too seriously, until you actually meet in person it's all pretty meaningless.

If you were dating twenty girls at once in person that might be odd, and time consuming, but just writing a lot of people online is no big deal.

 

[ucxb]

Yeah but I can't help but continue seaking out more and each day to add to the confusion

Just dont get confused then

 

[Tiina63]

Most people doing online dating send messages to more than one person until and if they find someone they develop feelings for.
You would only be leading someone on if they told you they were looking for a serious relationship and you said the same, when in reality you just wanted to flirt or to have something lighter.

 

[SomeoneSomewhere]

For people like us who have been devoid of attention all out lives, when we get it, it can get addicting.

So I say enjoy it while you can!

 

[EveWasFramed]

Don't feel too bad about it. What you are failing to consider is that most of these women you are chatting to are also probably talking to 15-20 other guys and know that they are leading you on, and don't care.

It's all a mind-game, and mind-games are what women like playing.

You were previously banned for these kinds of comments. The ban issued today is a short one. The next one will be your last one.

 

[Obscurity]

There's nothing wrong with chatting. If you aren't making promises to these women you don't intend to keep, you're not leading them on. I'd worry that you might be covering up a lot of unaddressed hurt with attention, though. Wanting to stop but not being able to is a warning sign.

 

[murmi97]

Since you're talking to so many women, it probably wouldn't hurt that bad to try to be straightforward with one about your feelings; "I don't exactly know that we'll end up together but, wanna trade my male energy for your female for a little while longer?" or something less dorky.

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

statistically speaking at least 15 out of the 20 girls you contacted are guys....so don't feel bad

 

[theglasscell]

This is kind of offtopic, but a few years ago when I was unemployed, I made money by working for this company called Enticecash.

I had to troll chatrooms and Craigslist personals pretending to be a hot girl, using some random pictures I got from Facebook, and trick guys into buying memberships for a webcam porn site.

It was really shady but I made 25 dollars on each person I signed up and was doing really good with it, I made close to a thousand one week, although I spend probably a full week sitting on my computer without sleeping.

A lot of the guys were really interested in meeting me in person and a few told me they felt a real connection. I got so wrapped up in it that I mentally started seeing myself as this super hot girl and almost started acting all snobby and stuck up when I was out in public.

The internet can do some strange things to your brain.

 

[Mike510]

statistically speaking at least 15 out of the 20 girls you contacted are guys....so don't feel bad

I sure as hell hope not although I did see that show catfish last night that scared the crap out of me

---

This is kind of offtopic, but a few years ago when I was unemployed, I made money by working for this company called Enticecash.

I had to troll chatrooms and Craigslist personals pretending to be a hot girl, using some random pictures I got from Facebook, and trick guys into buying memberships for a webcam porn site.

It was really shady but I made 25 dollars on each person I signed up and was doing really good with it, I made close to a thousand one week, although I spend probably a full week sitting on my computer without sleeping.

A lot of the guys were really interested in meeting me in person and a few told me they felt a real connection. I got so wrapped up in it that I mentally started seeing myself as this super hot girl and almost started acting all snobby and stuck up when I was out in public.

The internet can do some strange things to your brain.

wow. Any person asking me to go to some other site I end up blocking.

 

[Mike510]

I seriously need to stop going on these sites I woke up this morning to 47 messages from chicks on these sites. I also feel commited to meeting some of them but I am new to area and have no clue how I can meet them. Plus I don't have a car.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

If you feel that bad about it, just try being open about them and tell them you're just talking to them as of right now. Don't move ahead until you know that's the right girl for you and you're willing on meeting up in person. Sorry never had experience in this before, cause I never trusted dating sites.

 

[Mike510]

I actually meet one of the women last night. She did not act or look much like she did online and it was kind of uncomfortable. I feel guility about talking to all these women but I am affraid what they would think if I told them

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Online dating is all about chatting to a lot of women, and seeing which ones work out. So you're on the right path to finding a girlfriend.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Or the totally wrong path... If it feels like it's becoming an addiction in any way, my advice would be to just stop going to these sites. If you start to feel so completely guilty, then my advice to that would be to just stop using these sites. It wouldn't be the first time that someone disappears from a dating site, and it won't be the last.

 

[Smokey]

Is this Mike as in, ( treat em mean keep em keen ) ? or a different mike ?

Why feel like a scumbag ? there are plenty scumbags out there excelling in all things scumbaggery.

Try something different.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Or the totally wrong path... If it feels like it's becoming an addiction in any way, my advice would be to just stop going to these sites. If you start to feel so completely guilty, then my advice to that would be to just stop using these sites. It wouldn't be the first time that someone disappears from a dating site, and it won't be the last.

True, but there is something to be said about strength in numbers.