If only I knew then what I know now

[Hereward87]

I suppose almost everyone has had this thought, unless they think that they have lived a perfect life without regrets.
But, I think about this a lot, if only I had made different decisions at certain junctures in my life, maybe my life wouldn't be such a failure.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Your life is only a failure if you have given up. It's never too late to change for the better and find what you are looking for.
Don't look at them as regrets, look at them as lessons and learn from them.

 

[user 188522]

I, too, wish I had made different decisions at certain junctions in my life. I love Callie's advice, if only I had my youth back

 

[constant stranger]

The three previous posts resonate with me. I think about my past poor choices and actions every single day and the obvious reply is that my journey isn't over yet. Therefore, now late in my life, my mission is to continuously, every day, create some improved version of myself. And that's the only real goal.......just steadily get a little bit closer at being whom I can be.
And I gotta quit worrying and kicking myself at how things might have been........

 

[Finished]

I would have not bothered with having a girlfriend / wife. I wasted so much time, effort, and money on that endeavor. But, you don't know until you experience that.

I would have made different career / degree choices. But, they worked out okay for me. So, no big deal.

 

[Claudia1794]

I would have done everything exactly the same because I truly believe that if I had done anything, differently I wouldn't have the son I have now.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I would have done everything exactly the same because I truly believe that if I had done anything, differently I wouldn't have the son I have now.

I feel the same. Also, if things were done differently, you might have been a better person with a better life, but you might have also been a worse person with a worse life.

 

[Lonely girl 28]

I understand those regrets. The good news is you still have your future to make what you want out of it.

This probably sounds like a cliche, but you can appreciate what you have instead of what you don't. If you like to write, you might want to make a list and when you feel sad/ depressed, look at that list. (For ex: intelligence, sense of humor, pets, etc.)

 

[TropicalStarfish]

"if only's" are not only worthless; but, they are self-indulgent as well. At any point in time, you can only work with the information you have at hand; and it's amazing anything functions at all, considering how little of it we have at any given moment.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd have won the powerball at least 10 times or so. So, it's not just stupid to think like that, it's self-absorbed and harmful to yourself and possibly those around you.

I think we all probably think like that from time to time; and it can be harmless to look back from time to time. But, the past is not a good place to take up permanent residence.

I can't think of a suitable replacement for, "if only," thinking; but, as a quick stab at it, I'd say, focus on, 'who, what, where, why, or how.' Focus on now. The past is always changing, with every moment that passes, the past morphs and changes. We can forget things, receive new information, etc... etc.. And the future, I'd like to believe, is always in a perpetual state of flux.

You can live right now, in the past. You can live right now in the future. Or you can live right now, in the now. I think any one of those places is fine; but, they are all in the now, right now. And they are all, always changing, always in flux, and none of it is permanent.

Easy words to say... I know.

 

[insecure]

I've made lots of bad decisions, but even with all the knowledge of how the future evolved based on them I think it would be very hard for me to take the right ones this time.
I know when I was young I should have experimented more, trying out more of the sexual stuff, but I felt guilty about my doubts, and I guess I still feel guilty, and maybe I'm just too afraid of failure.
As long as that doesn't change even a time machine couldn't help me.