Im 20 and never had a girlfriend in my life. Is this bad?

[Mr. Sir]

Well... I didn't want to be into the whole feeling sorry for myself thing again, but maybe I need to express this.

I am 20 yrs old and I have never had a girlfriend. Most women on this planet seem to dislike me . I have experienced cruelty from women since grade school and it still happens occasionally... mostly in comes in rude remarks or basic body language.

I'm a shy person, which doesn't help and I have no luck. All my friends, two of which i believe are as shy as I, have had unbelievable luck.. women seemed to come to them. Besides there just doesn't seem to be anybody who is for me out there.

Yeah, that's pretty bad. The worst part is that I'm in the same situation.

 

[Workingstiff]

I am 30, and I never had a girlfriend in my life. I came close once, during junior college, when a girl I had a crush on deliberated between another guy and me. She chose him, and I was a little clingy. But she treated me nice, and spend the next few months treating me as a friend and patiently telling me to give up.

Summoned up enough courage to date the same girl (different girl from above) out twice during junior college, but it turned out she was more keen on getting me to be her client for some fly-by-night scam than in getting to know me better.

Fast foward my life by ten years....

I hadn't had a girlfriend or date since, even though I generally get along fine with female coworkers. For most of those ten years, I was fat, slobby and generally suffered from self-esteem problems. I now kinda gotten my act together. Lost close to 30kg of fat through exercise, an active jogger, build muscle and am very financially stable.

But guess what? Still no gf. Not much better off when I was a fat loser in unversity.

A year ago, I met a girl through work when my firm collaborated with another firm. Summoned up enough courage to ask her out. She sounded eager when we texted or MSN. But she always hung up within 10 seconds whenever I called up to confirm our date. Bloody liar!

I liked a co-worker at work very much. She flirted with me, even though she was about to get married. It was rather discreet, and none of our colleagues knew of it. I know...I know...some of you may point out I should steer clear of someone who is attached. But the fact is, no one had ever flirted like that with me in my entire life. So, that flirting actually meant a lot of me, especially because I did like her. I didn't chase her. How to? She's married by now. Even so, never successfully chased a girl in my life. A 15 year-old high schooler probably has more experience wooing girls than me, a 30 year-old working stiff.

I can understand if I had relationship issues when I was young because for most of my life, I was nerdy, fat and generally unattractive. But I had pulled my act together. I am now financially very stable, physically fit, muscular and lean. And guess what? Nothing has changed, not at least in the area of relationships (or the lack of them).

 

[Aedammair]

I wouldn't say that it is horrible and bad. But you still need to try for one. Try going to new places. I don't mean giong to a bar and getting drunk with some girl. If you are going to college try to go to some place like the library or come early to class. Try to be helpful to a girl that you have basic contact with without letting her think you are a doormat (Lend her your notes, offer to help her with math homework, and go from there).You can do it man. I have friends (and siblings) who have never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before college. Don't give up.

My regards,

Aedammair

 

[Fat Guy]

I am 30 and never even been on a dammed date, kissed a woman, or any of that crap 15 year olds have all done.

 

[dweavis]

33 and am ignorant to how the whole dating thing works. Would like to go on one but it seems some higher power is at work to help prevent that. I just got done with a dating website and came out of it with a friggin friend of all things. Friend zone....oh yeah, I live there.

 

[except]

I have a bad luck with girls.
.
p.s i am 20 and i don't have a girlfriend and i am getting used to the loneliness, kinda .

 

[FillyTheBish]

I lost my virginity at 19, I don't want to upset anyone, but I find that now at age 27, sex is not as good as it was back then.

I think, as you get older, especially later 20's, you lose some verility and performance.

The best sex I ever had was in my early 20's and 19.

I'm not saying you should be desperate to get it, or that it's bad at my age, but if you leave it till your 30 or older, you may never experience all it has to offer.

I often wish I had lost it earlier, I hear it is best at around mid teens when your body is actually supposed to do it and at its sexual peak.

 

[h i]

wow filly.

i can make stuff up too.


you probably lost intimacy. ive seen your posts...

 

[FillyTheBish]

wow filly.

i can make stuff up too.


you probably lost intimacy. ive seen your posts...

Sorry? I'm not sure what you mean there.

I'm not making stuff up, your body does age and a mans peak is in his teens and early twenties, after that your body stops creating as much testosterone and what not. Testosterone = virility.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/469/why-does-male-sex-drive-decrease-with-age

 

[cheaptrickfan]

wow filly.

i can make stuff up too.

you probably lost intimacy. ive seen your posts...

Sorry? I'm not sure what you mean there.

I'm not making stuff up, your body does age and a mans peak is in his teens and early twenties, after that your body stops creating as much testosterone and what not. Testosterone = virility.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/469/why-does-male-sex-drive-decrease-with-age

Billy is right. Men peak, testosterone-wise, in their 20s. Levels of testosterone start to decline in their 30s, which can lead to lower libido and performance issues. Many men would rather not admit it, because they've got it in their heads that their whole worth as a man hinges upon virility.

It's nothing that can't be cured by testosterone shots and viagra/cialis, but even then, with a workable treatment, lots of men would still rather deny that there's a problem for fear of being seen as less manly or something. I dated a guy who went through that and he said that he'd talk about it to the guys at work who would all say "Oh, I don't have problems like that! Not me! Nothing wrong THERE!" when there were more than one guy around, but then they'd go see him one on one and ask him if it really worked.

So, the moral of the story: Guys, get over yourselves. It is common and happens to lots of men.

 

[h i]

so we should all have sex in our teens because near 30 we might not be able to have sex without medical services? ... boo abstinence; boo!

[]D [] []v[] []D [] []\[]

 

[cheaptrickfan]

so we should all have sex in our teens because near 30 we might not be able to have sex without medical services? ... boo abstinence; boo!

[]D [] []v[] []D [] []\[]

Speak for yourself: women peak later on in their 30s. lol

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha so men aged 17-25 should be getting with women aged 30-40?

Cougars! *pathetic growling sound* lol

----Steve

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Haha so men aged 17-25 should be getting with women aged 30-40?

Cougars! *pathetic growling sound* lol

----Steve

Well, I would never encourage anything illegal, but what irony that people's libidos peak at different times.

Also ironic is that women's fertility decreases at the same time some of us have higher libidos.

My completely non-scientific and totally anecdotal theory is that as we age, the libido revs up so that we have more of a chance to get those last straggling eggs fertilized. lol

 

[h i]

Cougars! *pathetic growling sound* lol

----Steve

LOL :shy:

 

[ragiop]

I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend. But I think it's because of confidence. I can't plausibly imagine myself at all asking someone out.

 

[Badjedidude]

Why not? What do you have to lose?

Ego? Self-confidence? If you can't imagine yourself asking a girl out, then you have no self-confidence anyway. So you really have nothing to lose.

Does the fear of rejection really outweigh the fear of never even trying? I say just go for it. Find the hottest chick you can, go right up to her, and ask her to lunch. A girl would love to see such a ballsy guy...especially if you're not "TV-hunk-handsome." You can even tell her right out that you're nervous about asking her out because she's so pretty...but still do it.

Go for it! It sounds scary, and you may get rejected...but even the guys who score a lot get rejected like 60% of the time. They just don't let the rejection affect them, because really, being rejected isn't a personal insult. Women have different tastes, that's all. You just have to keep trying until you find a woman that finds something interesting about you (even if you don't think you are). Go for it!

----Steve

 

[?uest Love]

building on rejection. don't take rejection to heart. The girl may have several different reasons for rejection. they may have a boyfriend, they may have been in an argument with their parents or friends, a recent family member may have died etc. basically dont take that honeysuckle to heart.

And not having been in a relationship by 20 is alright. Im on that boat too.

 

[Expendable]

I'm 20 the same although I have been lucky enough to actually have a girlfriend of sorts. It only last for six weeks or and to be honest she didn't really seem to like me that much anyway . But regardless it was an awesome experience, never felt so human.

building on rejection. don't take rejection to heart. The girl may have several different reasons for rejection. they may have a boyfriend, they may have been in an argument with their parents or friends, a recent family member may have died etc. basically dont take that honeysuckle to heart.

And not having been in a relationship by 20 is alright. Im on that boat too.

It sounds stupid but always look at the positives of rejection. I was rejected recently by a girl who was if I'm honest completely out of my league, but her or her friends didn't find the idea of me liking her stupid or funny so I felt alot better about myself. Sorry its sort of hard to describe but I hope you get the jist.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'm 20 the same although I have been lucky enough to actually have a girlfriend of sorts. It only last for six weeks or and to be honest she didn't really seem to like me that much anyway . But regardless it was an awesome experience, never felt so human.

building on rejection. don't take rejection to heart. The girl may have several different reasons for rejection. they may have a boyfriend, they may have been in an argument with their parents or friends, a recent family member may have died etc. basically dont take that honeysuckle to heart.

And not having been in a relationship by 20 is alright. Im on that boat too.

It sounds stupid but always look at the positives of rejection. I was rejected recently by a girl who was if I'm honest completely out of my league, but her or her friends didn't find the idea of me liking her stupid or funny so I felt alot better about myself. Sorry its sort of hard to describe but I hope you get the jist.

This is totally off topic. But I absolutely HATE your username. I really do.

Why? Because you ARENT expendable. ((((hug))))