Im 20 and never had a girlfriend in my life. Is this bad?

[Badjedidude]

Expendable: It's not at all stupid to look at the positives of rejection. After all, each turn-down teaches you more about how to ask correctly and whom to ask. I think you have the right attitude about it.

----Steve

 

[Lonely21]

I am 21 and have never had a girlfriend, except for when I was 19-20 (can't really remember, lol). It was a 2 month "relationship" with about 3 "dates". I'll tell you about it in a later post.

I find that approaching a girl is very difficult. Not just for the fear of being rejected, but because I've never had one, my parents' reaction when I say "I have a girlfriend", might be something like "OMG, I can't believe it. You finally have a girlfriend", rather than "that's cool". It's stupid, I know, lol. Even my only "girlfriend" asked me out first.

I am going to a community college and still live at home because it's cheaper than moving out, haha. Sometimes, I think that asking a girl out would be easier if I did live alone.

PS: You'll know why I'm quoting the words that apply to my "relationship" in a later post. Sorry for the suspense, haha.

 

[Badjedidude]

Lol when my parents call and ask if I've met a girl yet, I just lie. "Sure, mom & dad, I'm going on dates...just haven't found a particular girl to stick with yet."

haha that always makes 'em feel better enough to leave me alone.

----Steve

 

[Expendable]

Expendable: It's not at all stupid to look at the positives of rejection. After all, each turn-down teaches you more about how to ask correctly and whom to ask. I think you have the right attitude about it.

----Steve

Thanks mate.

I am 21 and have never had a girlfriend, except for when I was 19-20 (can't really remember, lol). It was a 2 month "relationship" with about 3 "dates". I'll tell you about it in a later post.

I find that approaching a girl is very difficult. Not just for the fear of being rejected, but because I've never had one, my parents' reaction when I say "I have a girlfriend", might be something like "OMG, I can't believe it. You finally have a girlfriend", rather than "that's cool". It's stupid, I know, lol. Even my only "girlfriend" asked me out first.

I am going to a community college and still live at home because it's cheaper than moving out, haha. Sometimes, I think that asking a girl out would be easier if I did live alone.

PS: You'll know why I'm quoting the words that apply to my "relationship" in a later post. Sorry for the suspense, haha.

Yeah moving out would probably help your situation, can't really explain why, it just that everything is easier when you don't have your parents nosing around. My parents sometimes why I don't have a girlfriends but I don't think they understand how picky girls are today.

 

[Lonely21]

Thanks. At least I know I'm not alone in this. Idk if anyone cares but here is a summary of my only relationship:

I shared emails with this one girl from college, and one day she asked if I wanted to go out to a movie. I replied positively, and she told me where she lived, so I picked her up. She lived between me and the theater. We saw "Death Race" and paid our own ways. We just watched the movie with no romantic interaction. She did put her head on my shoulder, but I just sat there and let her do it. I didn't want to do something to push her away. I took her home afterwards and said good-bye. A couple days later, she asked if I wanted to study with her and a couple other students from class. I agreed. While it wasn't strictly a study-session, there was no romantic interaction. We just bullshitted around. A few weeks went by and she asked about hanging out again. We decided to get lunch at Duffy's. We ate, then she paid with a Duffy's card that she had, but I paid her for the price of my food. After that, we never had time to see each other, and she eventually moved to Georgia. (no more email communication)

 

[Dwi]

Thanks. At least I know I'm not alone in this. Idk if anyone cares but here is a summary of my only relationship:

I shared emails with this one girl from college, and one day she asked if I wanted to go out to a movie. I replied positively, and she told me where she lived, so I picked her up. She lived between me and the theater. We saw "Death Race" and paid our own ways. We just watched the movie with no romantic interaction. She did put her head on my shoulder, but I just sat there and let her do it. I didn't want to do something to push her away. I took her home afterwards and said good-bye. A couple days later, she asked if I wanted to study with her and a couple other students from class. I agreed. While it wasn't strictly a study-session, there was no romantic interaction. We just bullshitted around. A few weeks went by and she asked about hanging out again. We decided to get lunch at Duffy's. We ate, then she paid with a Duffy's card that she had, but I paid her for the price of my food. After that, we never had time to see each other, and she eventually moved to Georgia. (no more email communication)

Dude, I'm gonna be honest.


You find out where that girl is, and you tell her how you feel.

As you now know, even if you don't do anything "stupid" to "scare them off", girls/boys will always move on. But it seems there was something going on there. If this was not too long ago, get in touch with her ASAP, whatever it takes. If she likes you, you'll be glad you made the effort.

My first girlfriend was just like that. We were just "buddies" and I was shy as fresia (still am, but i dont waste such rare oportunities now) and we hanged out everyday after class. I would take her iPod as an excuse to just have her around. Eventually one of her male friends made the move before me, and she rejected him. I was like, holy fresia time to grow up this my only chance, so after I threw in some curveballs I put her in the situation where she had to wonder if i also liked her, and so she asked. My response:

"Of course I like you"

I was scared as hell, thought i had ruined the friendship but guess what it turned out she did like me but was afraid. Girls will never tell you, it's all about our courage to face the consequences. My story has a sad ending so i will leave it there, but my message to you is

TELL HER OR LOSE HER

it's easy to see wich is more convenient.

D

 

[oarivan]

Lol when my parents call and ask if I've met a girl yet, I just lie. "Sure, mom & dad, I'm going on dates...just haven't found a particular girl I'd like to stick it to"

I Started dating quite late. Never had the balls necessary to ask a lass out, still don't. Because of this, I can only hope some woman will come up to me and ask me out. This isn't the most feasible game plan. So either I grow the confidence to ask a women out or I wallow here for another few years.

 

[sunkissed]

So im 20 and never had a gf. Is it to late to have sex with a virgin? bah it most likely is but you know what im not gonna quit till i find one who is true. Every time i hit on women it goes pretty bad because im a fatboy. I use to holla at the women when they walked by i still do some times. I don't talk to women that much but i love talking to them whenever i get the chance. I wish i got to know what a women is really like.

 

[Badjedidude]

Is it to late to have sex with a virgin?

It's never too late. There are a LOT of virgins...both male and female. So finding one won't be too difficult, I think. Just pay attention, be a good guy, and you'll be fine.

----Steve

 

[Xelha]

I got my first(and current ) bf at age 20. I was one of those girls that no guy ever really looked at, and for a long time I was worried that maybe none ever would want to be with me.

But then I met my bf(he was 21 at the time). He hadn't been with anyone before either, but d'you know what? I saw that as a good thing. It showed me that he cared a lot about *who* he was with, and didn't want to just look for any random girl to date for the sake of dating.

Sure, when you start dating later on in life, you'll likely be "inexperienced" when it comes to all the romantic kind of stuff. But does it matter? Those kinds of things can be learned, and anyone who isn't willing to be patient enough to help you through it isn't really worth your time anyway.

And like someone else said, there are lots of people who wait until their late 20's or so to start dating. I really don't see it as something to be ashamed of, even if it isn't by choice. As much as you may think that there isn't anyone out there for you, one day I think you'll realize that there is.

 

[Lost Soul]

Well... I didn't want to be into the whole feeling sorry for myself thing again, but maybe I need to express this.

I am 20 yrs old and I have never had a girlfriend. Most women on this planet seem to dislike me . I have experienced cruelty from women since grade school and it still happens occasionally... mostly in comes in rude remarks or basic body language.

I'm a shy person, which doesn't help and I have no luck. All my friends, two of which i believe are as shy as I, have had unbelievable luck.. women seemed to come to them. Besides there just doesn't seem to be anybody who is for me out there.

I'm 21 and never even had a friend. You're not alone.

 

[Wishtobemyself]

I'm 25, never had a close friend, never had a gf. How's that sound?

 

[sadface]

im 23, about to turn 24 never been in a relationship sup

 

[trippytip]

I found this forum through a stupid google search that turned up this thread.

Read the whole thing. Yup, I'm that lame lol.

 

[Sean]

Well... I didn't want to be into the whole feeling sorry for myself thing again, but maybe I need to express this.

I am 20 yrs old and I have never had a girlfriend. Most women on this planet seem to dislike me . I have experienced cruelty from women since grade school and it still happens occasionally... mostly in comes in rude remarks or basic body language.

I'm a shy person, which doesn't help and I have no luck. All my friends, two of which i believe are as shy as I, have had unbelievable luck.. women seemed to come to them. Besides there just doesn't seem to be anybody who is for me out there.

I'm 21 and never even had a friend. You're not alone.

I will be your friend !

 

[bongskie]

Im new here but i guess this is the best thread i ever read... all your responses reflects me of who i am... im 24 no girlfriend, i have only 1 serious relationship but i messed it up.. and the last two hmmm screw them!!( nah were just playing)... no good relationship within 6 years, that a big mess and depression to me... I need to have one but it doesnt just fall from the sky...
What im trying to say is that, Im no good in speech and im no good in making follow up after a date. To ask for a date is hard but its much harder after that. Guess what ive been dump for about 10 times before i got a serious one.

but eh, God gave adam an eve, so why worried? well then if still you dont get one hmmm maybe you should consider a slave cannot marry a princess but a prince can =)). Well thats the reality, just live life, ask girls out if they screwed you up, then just say, whoa thats makes you much prettier but anyway thank you.!.. Life is so short whats essential is the end not the beg. or whats between...

For the lonely people, eh your not alone im much lonelier than you think, but im changing my view by trying to make friends even if they dont wanna be.. well, I dont care i got nothing to loose in the first place im lonely so what then...

and someone talk about s3x... nyah its not the issue here you cant have it all the way. The real issue is how you can get rid of your insanity being lonely

 

[lonleypon]

Lonely-
A lot of people here are trying to rationalize and say that it's an ok thing, but I agree with you that it SUCKS not ever having a gf and being 20 years old, I'm not going to deny that. The truth is that most people have had relationships before they were 20, and guys like us are the minority. There's no use putting bullshit in our head over that, we just have to accept it as a fact. Instead of waiting, I suggest becoming friends with females first, because whenever I have gone on dates, it was usually through a friend. I'm way to shy to approach a girl cold, especially if she's hot. Next, try to find a girl who is not so attractive and get her to like you. Yes this might be mean, but who knows you might end up liking her. You need to have the confidence booster that hey someone actually does like me. When you know someone likes you it does wonders for your ego. Try to get out more, and just don't be desperate. Find an interest, whether it be music, book clubs, hiking, whatever that forces you to hang out with people your age. You want to meet someone who is down to earth, not a high maintenance chick who is all about herself. Try to think about everything OTHER than having a gf. Just think about being more social. It's tough, but I know you can do it buddy. When you think that there's a connection though, make sure that you capitalize on it. Girls don't like wussy guys. Even if you don't have experience, you must act like you do and prove to them why they should choose you over the next guy. Make sure you wear the pants and don't let any girl step over you.

great stuff bro. you inspire me to be confident. i know that there are girls that are into me but i always say confidence is key. You listed all the things that you should do. then you listed what i did wrong with this girl from class. thats my main problem, im a wussy!!!!!! we talked a lot in class, started to hang out after a couple weeks. we texted a lot but once i saw the connection i didnt capitalize.

i really like her and hopefully things dont work out with her current *********...but for know im reading ur tips everyday until i can resite them from memory!

 

[CAS]

23 soon and it's still not happened.

 

[Plutonium]

/16 Never had a girlfriend either, but i rather wait for "the one" and keep my heart intact, than have it break numerous times.

 

[so_punk_rock]

WOW IM LIKE, IN THE SAME SITUATION EXCEPT IM FEMALE