Is it easier being female?

[kelbo]

I've never had one girl interested in me ever or really show me that they might like me. Besides that, all I ever knew was put downs since in the past girls would walk by look at me and laugh saying ewww. Or like random little girls coming up to me and saying "you're ugly".

I noticed you said 'in the past' - how long ago are we talking? And has anything like that happened recently?

Why is it that guys such as my friends get so much attention from girls and people like me get absolutely none? I mean like random girls would just flirt with my friends that don't even know them or smile and laugh when they were around. But it seemed like I was invisible and not even there half the time. I guess I'm the complete opposite because I think for most people there has to be an attraction physically to someone for that person to even have a chance.

It seems to me like maybe you make yourself invisible? If you are that frightened or scarred from horrible comments people have made in the past, it makes sense to react this way.

I am a girl who used to always have horrible comments thrown at me left right and centre about the way I look. I got bullied badly as a child all throughout school.
This made me unconfident in who I was and what I looked like, paranoid even.

But now I'm older I have changed my way of thinking. I am not the person I used to be - and I do get guys interested in me these days. Yes I still am not the most attractive person in the world, but I've realised that those comments don't define me - one or two (or however many) opinions doesn't automatically mean everyone will think this way.
Everyone is different, so give yourself the chance to realise that.

I'm just to negative and stubborn to ever change the way I am so I'm probably destined to live a life of solitude.To top it all off, I'm also extremely socially awkward and even when I try not to be I fail. Sorry shouldn't have even posted this and I'm not trying to hijacc the thread but I just wanted to respond.

Stop being so negative and look forwards, not backwards. If you are forever living in the past or in the 'what if's then you'll never get over this. Stop analysing how you are socially and just get out there and do it. Practice makes perfect after all.

Good luck


Original topic:

It is easier for girls to project to a group of guys that she wants attention without even talking (wear a short skirt, low-cut or see-through top) guaranteed at least one guy (even if he is seedy) will talk to you.
Guys cant compete with that, they can't instantly throw out the message without talking that he wants some attention, what the hell would he wear to do this?!

 

[EverythingisBlue]

I really don't think women have it any easier. For women, appearances are practically everything. It's like if the world doesn't find you attractive you're worthless. It's funny how days where I'm all made up people hold doors for me, but when I look like crap they practically slam them in my face. Girls can be VERY catty too. I've had girls walk by me and say "ew." I dont even think I'm unattractive, but girls can be super mean. You really have to be careful who you trust, and for that reason it's hard to find friends you can really make a connection with.

On the other hand, it seems that for guys if you're not into sports and making crude jokes it's a lot harder to make friends. Also, it seems like guys don't really talk about personal things....just joke around and talk about sports and movies. For that reason I think it's harder for men to feel an actual connection with anyone.

I'm a woman, btw.

 

[Badjedidude]

making crude jokes

If you're not making crude jokes, then chances are you're not even a guy. XD I have NEVER personally known or seen a guy who didn't at least smile when a crude or gross joke was uttered.

Welcome to the site, EverythingisBlue.

----Steve

 

[oarivan]

Also, it seems like guys don't really talk about personal things....just joke around and talk about sports and movies.

The generalizations keep on coming. If that were true of all men then this forum would have no male members.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Do you really think it's easy to have periods and give birth to babies?

 

[Badjedidude]

No one said it's easy...but I'm sure the joys of being able to create a new life sort of outweighs the pain of birthing it.

----Steve

 

[SophiaGrace]

No one said it's easy...but I'm sure the joys of being able to create a new life sort of outweighs the pain of birthing it.

----Steve

hmnnnnn maybe

 

[Badjedidude]

Lol well YOU tell ME. I have no idea what it feels like to give birth or be a mother.

Haha not you, Soph...but women in general. Unless you're hiding a secret love child from us.

----Steve

 

[Remedy]

No one said it's easy...but I'm sure the joys of being able to create a new life sort of outweighs the pain of birthing it.

----Steve

Some women say that yes, the pain is horrible but they end up forgetting about it and having another kid. Than they end up having to experience it again 0_o. The pain of birth would be excruciating. I couldn't imagine having to be a girl because now that I'm thinking much more clearly, there are a lot of things I could not imagine going through.

 

[Badjedidude]

LOL I just can't imagine squeezing something so big as a baby's head through my pevlic girdle. @_@

Being able to create life is something women feel more directly than men, I think. Sure, men have a part in the process...but it's not in a man's body that the child is physically created for 9 months...it's not a man that shares his life-blood with the growing child...so yeah, it's really hard to try and understand that as a guy. o_o

----Steve

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Also, it seems like guys don't really talk about personal things....just joke around and talk about sports and movies.

The generalizations keep on coming. If that were true of all men then this forum would have no male members.

Amen. I think there is a difference in what is "socially acceptable" for men and women to talk about in public. No one would bat an eye if a group of women are out at a restaurant baring their souls; if it were a group of men talking candidly about their feelings like that, people might consider it abnormal. I think that's bullshit. If guys want to share their feelings with their friends, they ought to be able to. A shame that the culture of "what is manly" can put a bad spin on it.

No one said it's easy...but I'm sure the joys of being able to create a new life sort of outweighs the pain of birthing it.

Speaking for myself, yes it does, and I had some rather painful birth experiences. I'd do it all over again though. And that's not just baby-fever insanity talking.

Some women say that yes, the pain is horrible but they end up forgetting about it and having another kid.

It's not so much that we forget how painful it is, I mean, we know that it's painful, but lots of us do end up down-playing how much it hurt. I remember sort of saying to myself, "Well, I survived the first kid's delivery how bad could it be?" lol

But we keep telling ourselves that it really is worth it in the end. It's funny, during my last labor I was thinking to myself, "OMG this really HURTS!" The first time around I had pain meds. For my last kid it was 100% natural and really fast and very painful.

LOL I just can't imagine squeezing something so big as a baby's head through my pevlic girdle. @_@

Trust me, at the time I couldn't believe I was doing it either! During the birth of my first child I remember asking my doctor if it was possible for my pelvis to split. She said, "Um, not at this point, you're almost done!"

It really was amazing.


Oh, besides, as a man, your pelvis isn't equipped right. ;-)

 

[nerdygirl]

Balance in all things. Some things are easier for women, and some are easier for men. Humans are herd animals, and we are made to need one another in order to survive. Which is kind of annoying some of the time.

 

[Despair]

Humans do need one another, but that doesn't mean we're necessarily herd animals. Not everyone is grazing with the chattle in a herd mentality.

 

[kwilczynski]

Balance in all things. Some things are easier for women, and some are easier for men. Humans are herd animals, and we are made to need one another in order to survive. Which is kind of annoying some of the time.

I'd say that we are driven by "social conventions", but being a "herd animals" is a completely different kettle of fish

KW

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

 

[shells]

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

At least it's 5 to 10 of you not getting an STD

 

[Steel]

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

Just to bring some actual science into the sweeping statement, you are confusing different species of primates. One male, several female groups exist in some primates (such as gorillas); but this is not the same as alpha males (and females) which exist in baboon and rhesus monkey society. In such societies, while an alpha male will usually mate more often, this is a side effect of the process of deferring to an individual further up the chain of command (to minimize fights, essentially).

While humans can fit into any of the six primate social groups, the VAST majority of human social groups are based on the monogamous social group, a characteristic we share with primates such as gibbons.

 

[oarivan]

Your knowledge of primates intrigues me.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

No, you can not draw those conclusions from that data (and really, I'd like to see your data set). Those few alpha males might be banging a pretty similar circle of women, with some overlap. There's nothing that states that each 2 guys are banging 5-10 different women.

Also, you are assuming that while the men obviously are not monogamous in this scenario that the women are. Hey, women cheat and play the field too.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

Just to bring some actual science into the sweeping statement, you are confusing different species of primates. One male, several female groups exist in some primates (such as gorillas); but this is not the same as alpha males (and females) which exist in baboon and rhesus monkey society. In such societies, while an alpha male will usually mate more often, this is a side effect of the process of deferring to an individual further up the chain of command (to minimize fights, essentially).

While humans can fit into any of the six primate social groups, the VAST majority of human social groups are based on the monogamous social group, a characteristic we share with primates such as gibbons.

no science to my post. just personal experience. maybe it's just the females in my neck of the woods that subscribe to the gorilla theme. hmm interesting.

---

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

No, you can not draw those conclusions from that data (and really, I'd like to see your data set). Those few alpha males might be banging a pretty similar circle of women, with some overlap. There's nothing that states that each 2 guys are banging 5-10 different women.

Also, you are assuming that while the men obviously are not monogamous in this scenario that the women are. Hey, women cheat and play the field too.

data set? i'll get right on my scientific study and be sure to pass all the findings right along. :rolleyes2:

---

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

Just to bring some actual science into the sweeping statement, you are confusing different species of primates. One male, several female groups exist in some primates (such as gorillas); but this is not the same as alpha males (and females) which exist in baboon and rhesus monkey society. In such societies, while an alpha male will usually mate more often, this is a side effect of the process of deferring to an individual further up the chain of command (to minimize fights, essentially).

While humans can fit into any of the six primate social groups, the VAST majority of human social groups are based on the monogamous social group, a characteristic we share with primates such as gibbons.

no science to my post. just personal experience. maybe it's just the females in my neck of the woods that subscribe to the gorilla theme. hmm interesting.

---

most women gravitate towards an "alpha male", just like in primates. LOL

so, if one man is banging 5 to 10 chicks (which is pretty common in our culture),

then guess what guys?

that's 5 to 10 of us who are getting absolutely no action! :club:

inversely,

it means that "most" women are getting laid, while many of us are not!!! (insult to injury)

No, you can not draw those conclusions from that data (and really, I'd like to see your data set). Those few alpha males might be banging a pretty similar circle of women, with some overlap. There's nothing that states that each 2 guys are banging 5-10 different women.

Also, you are assuming that while the men obviously are not monogamous in this scenario that the women are. Hey, women cheat and play the field too.

data set? i'll get right on my scientific study and be sure to pass all the findings right along. :rolleyes2: i'll go undercover in the bar up the street...

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