Is Your Appearance Holding You Back From Meeting People?

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LoneKiller

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How is everyone?

Before I go any further, I just want to say yes, I'm a guy who finds busty women and mature women to be very attractive, and yes I own my fair share of porn as well. Women's looks are definitely a consideration, but not everything. I'm no George Clooney, which is one of the reasons why I decided to make this thread. I'm going to be brutally honest here guys, I might make a few enemies with this thread. I hope I don't, but I'm certainly not going misrepresent myself by telling lies to my fellow members who I'm trying to help. I just won't do it.

"..It's what's inside that counts.." This is all that should matter between a women and a man or for fellow members who may swing the other way. I'm like a lot of guys when I spot a pretty face. I think of sex. I wouldn't kick Faith Hill out of bed for eating crackers if you know what I'm saying. Tim McGraw is a fortunate man to have such a woman who is much more than sexy. She's a professional, intelligent, and very motivated woman on top of being smoking hot. She is also very blessed to have a husband of the same stature. If it was all about getting laid, neither of them would have any trouble finding someone to accommodate them.

"..It's what's inside that counts.." is ultimately true, but these days, it's just simply not recognized as important as it used to be with a lot of people. In all seriousness, would you have Faith Hill as your wife, or McGraw as your husband if they were complete ******** and disrespected you day in and day out just because they are sexually attractive?

I'm 36 years old. When I was younger it was all about the sex, nothing else. I still enjoy sex, and yes, I believe it is important in a healthy relationship, but as each day and year goes by, I start to see beyond that. Things like having a companion in life, someone I can talk to about everything with, and the feeling of true love shared between a couple.

For any members of the forum who prefer companions of the same sex as themselves, I support that. Personally I prefer women, but these days, finding someone who is your soul mate is far more important in my books. Some believe that God will **** you to Hell for homosexual feelings and activity. Here's my belief. I can't see God sending someone to Hell for loving another, regardless of sexual preference.

If you establish more self confidence and respect in yourself, people will pick up on that. Don't ever change who you really are to accommodate others that you have feelings for. That is a tragedy of the greatest magnitude. For the record, I'm not claiming to be a "Love Doctor" or Dr.Phil. I'm Jason from Canada. Take it or leave it.






 
I think my appearance is OK. People never seem to recoil from me in shock or revulsion... so I guess I'm doing OK. :p
 
Mine as well. In fact, I frequently avoid going out because I'm so self conscious about my appearance.
 
Depends on what you define as "appearance", there are many possible contexts.

A few years ago I found just attending social functions embarrassing because I was pretty overweight.

Now I'm still slightly overweight but overall my body is much sleeker, fitter and easier on the eye. I don't have that kind of constant physical worry so much now.

However, if a girl wanted to get intimate with me or something? I think then I'd start worrying again. The idea of anyone seeing me without my shirt off or whatever is strangely terrifying, so I guess it does still hold me back to some extent, yeah... :rolleyes:

When it comes to my opinions on the looks of others, generally I wouldn't take the initiative in dating a girl I didn't find physically attractive at all. I would happily be friends with her of course.

That's not to say I wouldn't ever date her full stop - if she approached me and I found her really attractive for her personality, it's quite possible I would.

It should also be noted that my definition of "attractive" is pretty widely encompassing, I'm not one of those guys who expects a girl to look better than Cleopatra. I find many girls attractive in different ways.

Since losing weight myself, I find people who are a more overweight than me sort of...disappointing when I see them. I almost want to help them lose weight, so they can look hotter, be healthier and feel better about themselves like I do about myself!

Which is a big change from my old attitude of "Bah, it's no big deal." I honestly think many people would be happier if they just changed their lifestyle a bit like that.

For a little bit of effort, you can really improve your physique, which is half the "looks" battle won already.
 
when I look at the members of this forum, I see courage, compassion, kindness, intelligence, respect, and comfort. These are the qualities that each and every one of us deserve as people. Don't let your appearance destroy that. The fact that you might be overweight, underweight, tall, or short is just the way things are in some cases. The word "Fugly" irritates me to no end.

If anyone wants a girlfriend or boyfriend just for the sexual release and nothing else, isn't being fair. Some people wake up the next morning with feelings, and it can be devastating to their hearts to find out the truth. When A guy or girl says the classic line:.."I'm not looking for any kind of relationship..." is a bunch of bullshit in my books. They just want to bang everything bipedal without all "The Work" so to speak.

You have to be willing to deal with being rejected from time to time. If you let your insecurities get in the way and rely on others to define who you are, you are fixing to go down hard. I know how much it hurts to be rejected. Men get hurt just as much as women, but deal with it the best way they can, which is usually acting like they're not hurt at all. What this translates into is going to bed each night crying their eyes out in pain because they feel like a waste of space when it comes to relationships. I said it before, and I'll say it again. It takes just as much courage to cry as it does not to. Being a "Man", God forbid a guy show his true feelings for fear of ridicule.

Women can pick up on a guys insecurities fast. If your sex drive is to the point of where it's causing real problems in your life, there are a lot of ways to deal with that without using someone else and possibly damaging their self esteem.

When you start dealing with your insecurities in life in an honest fashion, you will be surprised how quickly your confidence and self respect and general happiness in life follow suit.

I wish nothing more than for you guys but complete and total happiness in your lives with respect to relationships and life itself.

-Jason



 
I do think my appearance holds me back from meeting people.
I don't think I'm atrocious, but I'm not confident with how I look.
 
I remember when I was truly hateful of my appearance. Essentially, I'll suggest two things:

1) Acceptance. There are aspects of us that we cannot change; its realistic to realize that most of us aren't actually all that ugly(or pretty, for that matter), but have a combination of qualities and flaws to our appearance. It helps to focus a bit on the positive of our appearance.

2) Improvement. Often there are flaws that can be improved on - weight, etc. There are ways of dressing and making yourself call less attention to your flaws as well; presenting yourself in the best possible light. Weight loss, etc. also can make a dramatic difference in your appearance.

It helps to ultimately be objective about yourself; being unduly critical is not objective.
 
Yes! It was my weight that made me lonely.

Upon entrance to Jr. High I began seeing guys my age who were not overweight! I felt different, like an outcast. I also felt like I was not good enough, not worthy.

People would talk to me, I wouldn't respond. In the mornings as I arrived to school, I felt trapped. I was the only one overweight. As thus I hid myself, I didn't speak to anyone, I was always depressed.

Thankfully that's past now! XD

Everytime I see someone overweight I think, "Gee, this person must be going through the same thing I was going through, why not help?"

And I have to agree, looks are very important as a first impression.
 
I wouldn't put up with a total ***** even if she were smoking hot. Been there, done that, not worth it. A mean girl is so much of a turn off to me that oddly enough in my minds eye she seems less physically attractive, if that makes any sense.

Also I dislike anyone who contributes to the furtherance of country music, therefore faith hill must burn. :)
 
Limlim said:
Also I dislike anyone who contributes to the furtherance of country music, therefore faith hill must burn. :)

What about Taylor Swift?

WOULD YOU BURN A HOT BLONDE SCHOOLGIRL IN UNIFORM?!!!
 
hehe nooww i did not :p

its just reading that, gave me that looking at little kittens fealing.

aahaawwwwww
 
paulo said:
hehe nooww i did not :p

its just reading that, gave me that looking at little kittens fealing.

aahaawwwwww

Oh I see! It was coming off more like a cry in pain...:rolleyes:
 

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