Loneliness Making Me Depressed

[WishingWell]

I am a 53 year old woman who lived a pretty wild life, so I still feel like I am in my twenties.

After splitting up with my husband when I lived in a city, I had to move in with my Sister and her husband in a separate apartment with my Mother, because I couldn't afford my own place.

I am disabled because of depression, anxiety attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder, and mild agoraphobia (I am afraid to leave the house alone).

This gives me hours and hours to fill. I have no friends here in the suburbs. I live on a dead end street, and have only two phone friends--no one to go out with, except sometimes my Mother. I don't drive.

I was in recovery for alcohol and drugs 20 years ago. I recently starting drinking again. My Mother enables me because she hates seeing me upset, by allowing me to buy and hide alcohol from my Sister. I was told by my Sister that if she ever found out I drank or used a drug, she would kick me out, so going to a rehab would be impossible, because she would then know and I would be homeless. YES, THAT IS HOW SHE IS, and I have no one else.

Back in October 2010, I also started abusing my Oxycodone that I take for my back pain. I am not getting any more prescriptions though, because I am had cortizone shots and am now scheduled for another shot that is more effective that is done under X-ray.

To sum this up, about 4 p.m. I start feeling so anxious, depressed and bored that I can't sit still and just cry. There is nothing I want to do, and this apartment is so small, I don't even have a table to do crafts on.
We have no kitchen sink or stove so we eat dinner with my Sister.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

Is there anyone that would want to chat with me and go through this together?

Thanks for reading this...

WishingWell

 

[EveWasFramed]

Sorry you're going through all that...I don't really have any sage advice, but if you have access to the internet(which you obviously do), there's a plethora of things that might be useful in keeping yourself busy. Games, forums, articles of interest...
Like I said, I don't really have any advice to give, but welcome to the forum.

 

[WishingWell]

Thank you answering my post and for welcoming me to the Forum. I know there is a lot to do on the Internet, and these games, articles, are things I do to fill my day...the late afternoon is when the depression and lonliness sets in, because I get tired of being on the computer. Maybe I can schedule my day differently so that I do chores, etc. earlier in the day and go onto the computer at around 4:00. Have a wonderful New Year!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

All i can share is my experince N hope.

Poeple on here knows my story...over 3000 post of it. Its my on line journal
All of my experince in the past 3 years..the good , bad . Happiness, joy. Sorrows, heartaches, love, frienships. Laughters,tears, set backs ,mistakes. Triumphs . Insanities., music Hopes N dreams

It had been a journey. One step at a time...beging with baby steps and still taking baby steps..oneday at a time. Sometimes One breathe @ a time. All I can do I just Breathe sometimes...
.Be well...

 

[only me]

I am a 53 year old woman who lived a pretty wild life, so I still feel like I am in my twenties.

After splitting up with my husband when I lived in a city, I had to move in with my Sister and her husband in a separate apartment with my Mother, because I couldn't afford my own place.

I am disabled because of depression, anxiety attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder, and mild agoraphobia (I am afraid to leave the house alone).

This gives me hours and hours to fill. I have no friends here in the suburbs. I live on a dead end street, and have only two phone friends--no one to go out with, except sometimes my Mother. I don't drive.

I was in recovery for alcohol and drugs 20 years ago. I recently starting drinking again. My Mother enables me because she hates seeing me upset, by allowing me to buy and hide alcohol from my Sister. I was told by my Sister that if she ever found out I drank or used a drug, she would kick me out, so going to a rehab would be impossible, because she would then know and I would be homeless. YES, THAT IS HOW SHE IS, and I have no one else.

Back in October 2010, I also started abusing my Oxycodone that I take for my back pain. I am not getting any more prescriptions though, because I am had cortizone shots and am now scheduled for another shot that is more effective that is done under X-ray.

To sum this up, about 4 p.m. I start feeling so anxious, depressed and bored that I can't sit still and just cry. There is nothing I want to do, and this apartment is so small, I don't even have a table to do crafts on.
We have no kitchen sink or stove so we eat dinner with my Sister.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

Is there anyone that would want to chat with me and go through this together?

Thanks for reading this...

WishingWell

I've quit drinking because I'm sure that it was worsening my depression. Oddly enough I've also given up caffeine. By doing research on the internet I found out that both of these can worsen depression. Check out one of the things I learned:

As a result of studies, it was also discovered that most alcoholics suffer from a niacin (vitamin B3) deficiency that leads to periods of depression and feelings of lack of self-worth. Such emotional states may then lead to more alcohol drinking in an effort to escape these feelings.

So,
you feel bad
you drink
alcohol inhibits your body's ability to absorb B3
B3 deficiency leads to depression which leads to drinking
lather, rinse, repeat

By the way, I still have all the old problems
but I feel way less depressed, desparate, and hopeless.

I hope you will too.