Hoffy said:
Gay men can be just as bad if not worse than women. You are right in that you shouldn't gawk at girls. Most don't like it. You said being with one would never happen. Why exactly is that?
Prepare, long post ahead:
I gawk becuase of insureity and desperation. I can't help it, but I'm working on it. I get hurt everytime I do, becuase I look at them and know I can't have her. So, it's kinda dumb. It's common for guys to gawk at girls, I do more then my fair share of it. My Sister and her friends often joke about me doing that.
The reason I can never have a girl, is a few reasons.
1. The most one. Most girls around here (where I live) are bitches (sorry if I offend anyone). They are arrogent, and selfiss, mostly arrogant. They don't care about people who is lower then they are (such as not as good looking, don't have as good stuff etc. I know this, becuase I study people all the time, to try and understand people and how their minds work. They just take one look, and they don't like it even if I look at them for a second. I can see they are nerous, and usually, it's quite obvious that they don't like me, they throw me a bad look. All it takes is one look.
Every girl, I try to become friends with, rejected me, and it wasn't long. I strike a few sentances, nothing bad, just ones that you normally say. They aren't interested. One girl, The Stephanator (Stephanie), from my sister's work, excepted me, at least for the most part. Becuase she knew my sister, and knew I was her brother and we went GeoCaching together in a trio a few times. She is 29.
2. It takes someone special to except me. Someone who is similar like me, lonely, no firneds or only a few. The bad thing is, lonely girls also have a hard time trusting a guy, 5X more if the guy isn't as good looking/awkward looking. She dosen't know what to make oof him.
Someone special to except me, which I think about everyday. I have an imaginary friend ('m sure I'm not only one here who has an imaginary friend), who is like a sister to me. She has been friends with me for a long time. We're very close. She excepts me, becuase she is like me, and of course, she is imaginary. She has a bery bright personality, is there for me when I need her (like when I'm feeling depressed, sad etc). She is smart and and we help each other through situations. So, we are very much a like. The problem is, I can't see her, and often have a hard time visualling her. Reality kicks in and reminds me, that it's the only kind of friendship I'll ever have, and makes me depressed. But, it's good to know that there is someone there to listen. I would like to be able to see and hear her, as if she was an actual person.
There are plenty of people who have personality like my imaginary friend. The problem is, exeptance. Most girls, don't like a boyfriend that has problems, depressed, and having to cheer them up. Only a few would ever do that, becuase in this society. It's very awkward for a guy to do that, cry in front of others, be down and depressed. Guys aren't supposed to show that. I don't know why, but that's the way it is. Girls can.
In society, it's supposed to be the guy, that helps the girl, if she is down, and depressed, not the other way around or both. Usually, when to people are upset, depressed, the relationship disappears, becuase they don't take the time to help each other. No one is interested and only interested in getting themselves better. Which is why, the relationship between me and my imaginary friend, is a very rare one. I've had imaginary friends since as long as I can remember. I've had a few. Some where characters from TV, while others were ones I made up.
Guys are more excepting, becuase they don't judge like and as often as girls do. The opposite gender is commonly confusing to the other, becuase different genders minds work very differently. Which is why I stand a chance with a guy, and not with a girl. The personality it takes to exccept me and understand me is rare (if it even exists!). I'm far from normal, becuase I have Asperger's. My speech and communication skills aren;t nearly as good as everyone elses. I speak ona basic level of communication (basic words usually), I used to have a very good vocabulary, but in the past fear years, it's gotten down. Generally, anyone with Asperger's/Autism is very different then everyone elses, while some people with Asperger's, you'd never know they have it.
Another reason, that makes it hard to make friends, is I don't fit in. I'm sensitive to some things, I don't like to party, get drunks etc. The peronality of my imaginary friend is the same.
It would take some time to do a profile on a girl that is compatible (excepts me for who I am), finding her is a completely different story. Ebven if she may exist, she may not even be from Canada. My guess ie either, the US, UK, or Australia. I pick these places, becuase most of the girls I come across, are from these places. The UK is a higher probabbility. In the UK, people are more excepting and their personality dosen't go against my eblieves (such as Naturism. The girl with the type of persoanlity would either be a Naturist, or would be open to ry it, and she is most likely open about herself). The US, people have some sort of thing against nudity. Autralia, is a little more accepting, Putting this all together, the acceptance of Naturism, and someone is socially awkward, and dosen't really have any good looks, The UK makes a higher probabbility. But, that dosen't mean she is from there.
Looking for a person that is like my imaginary friend, is like finding a needle in a hay stack. Much worse actually, becuase you got the world's populartion. Even I see this person, what are the chances of us meeting, becoming friends, etc. Very slim. I have been looking for my soul mate my entire life.
So, back on topic now. Finding a guy to be with is much easier, and less complicated. There is much more of a chance at finding the right guy, then searching the whole population for one girl, who very likely, won't exist. Many gay guys are open about themselves, with their partner (the same who lesbians) and understanding, even the like me, who are very different from everyone else.
