Men are still expected to pay for the first date

[bender22]

In a materialist world like the one we live in, neither of those things is true.

First, a guy looking for 'free things to do' is called "cheap" and likely dumped by most women soon afterward.

Second, a date like that still isn't free. I believe the main point of the article in the topic is referring to a date where 'eating' is a part of that, and food always costs money even if you grow it yourself. If you include candles, like Rainbows had, of course those also cost a bit, too. Not to mention that it's not always easy to find a place for 'stargazing'. Depending on where you live that might mean travelling an hour or so away, which obviously costs gas money.

So that's just to mention a few things we don't typically think about on our 'dates'.
And yes, the guy is typically expected to pay for both food and gas. Those who don't are generally looked down on by most women. Of course there are exceptions, but the issue is not that exceptions don't exist but that it is common enough to actually be an issue.

If a woman thinks you're cheap and dumps you for taking her on a free date then you're with the wrong woman. Most dates I've been on that do cost money, the girl will usually offer to pay her share. I don't agree with this idea that men are still expected to pay for the first date at all.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Please stop the generalizations.

 

[BeyondShy]

Most girls would find stargazing pretty romantic, if you ask me.

I'm not much of a romantic, but that is one date I would love.

The Pali. Midnight Friday. Be there.

First, a guy looking for 'free things to do' is called "cheap" and likely dumped by most women soon afterward.

I would like to do something on a date that both people would want to do.

 

[EveWasFramed]

My bf gets annoyed if I try to pay for meals. He's old fashioned in some ways (paying for meals is one he's adamant about).
However, me being me, I find a way to contribute. I make dinner on occasion or buy him small things (like his favorite cookies, for example) so I don't feel bad because he always pays.
Here's the thing - it's MY issue, not his, that has me trying to share some of the costs. He wants to pay. He likes to make me feel special and cared for. That's one way he shows me he loves me.
I allow it and appreciate it and I let him know how much I appreciate everything he does for me.
So, and again it might be my age and his age, but it works for some people.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You know how women want feminism

I've actually not met many feminists, to be honest. I've mostly met only the 'traditional' type of women. Which is actually kind of sad since I am mostly an egalitarian and I've probably been more of a feminist than any woman I've ever known. I like strong female personalities who do not follow the status quo. But of course I like pretty much any type of personality that doesn't follow the status quo.

I just gave you an idea for a date that is like bursting to the seams with romantic undertones, great for emotional intimacy and awe inspiring as well as intellectually stimulating....and you tell me a girl would dump you for it.

Maybe you are the one that is materialistic rather than it being the other way around.

I get what he's saying. I'm not really traditional - I'm not really anything when it comes to dates because I don't do them - but that's personally not a date I'd probably care for. Sure, some women may think it's great, but not all. Instead of getting huffy for him hinting at the thought it might not work for him, realize that dates are personal. What works for 8 out of 10 people doesn't mean it's the greatest idea. That's how you think of the idea. That doesn't mean that's how it is for everyone.

And no. Not all women want feminism.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

My first girl friend payed for everything most of the time, heh... she was awesome... and a handful sometimes... Raised by a working mother, though.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I just give you an idea for a date that is like bursting to the seams with romantic undertones, great for emotional intimacy and awe inspiring as well as intellectually stimulating....and you tell me a girl would dump you for it.

Maybe you are the one that is materialistic rather than it being the other way around.

^

Most girls would find stargazing pretty romantic, if you ask me.

I have always wanted to go stargazing myself. If it was for a date? I think that'd be amazing.

 

[Veruca]

I just give you an idea for a date that is like bursting to the seams with romantic undertones, great for emotional intimacy and awe inspiring as well as intellectually stimulating....and you tell me a girl would dump you for it.

Maybe you are the one that is materialistic rather than it being the other way around.

^

Most girls would find stargazing pretty romantic, if you ask me.

I have always wanted to go stargazing myself. If it was for a date? I think that'd be amazing.

Yasss...if a guy suggested stargazing I would go goo

 

[VanillaCreme]

I feel like a potato chip that wasn't seasoned... Not saying that it's not romantic or whatever, but I would hate it. Unless it's a place where mosquitoes don't exist, I would be eaten up like crazy. Mosquitoes attack me during the day here, and it's even worse at night.

 

[ABrokenMan]

The best date I ever had was going for a moonlit walk at midnight and gazing at the stars.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I feel like a potato chip that wasn't seasoned... Not saying that it's not romantic or whatever, but I would hate it. Unless it's a place where mosquitoes don't exist, I would be eaten up like crazy. Mosquitoes attack me during the day here, and it's even worse at night.

Come up here to me in a few months, I will take you stargazing and there will be no mosquitoes. It might be chilly though, so we'll have to cuddle or something.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I feel like a potato chip that wasn't seasoned... Not saying that it's not romantic or whatever, but I would hate it. Unless it's a place where mosquitoes don't exist, I would be eaten up like crazy. Mosquitoes attack me during the day here, and it's even worse at night.

Come up here to me in a few months, I will take you stargazing and there will be no mosquitoes. It might be chilly though, so we'll have to cuddle or something.

I certainly wouldn't mind that at all. I like the cold anyway.

 

[Despicable Me]

I just gave you an idea for a date that is like bursting to the seams with romantic undertones, great for emotional intimacy and awe inspiring as well as intellectually stimulating....and you tell me a girl would dump you for it.

Maybe you are the one that is materialistic rather than it being the other way around.

You're misinterpreting everything I said and twisting it rather badly.

First, I'm not just talking about one date. I'm talking about if that 'cheap date' concept were continuous. I have known guys before who have done that sort of thing, thought they were being "super romantic" and then getting dumped because they were "being cheap". I've also known women who have done the dumping.

Is one night of stargazing romantic? Yeah, probably.
Is it going to be romantic if every date is not much more than stargazing? Obviously not. That sort of thing can get old pretty quick.
And not to mention that trying to get all 'romantic' on a girl (or guy) on the first date is not often going to work. Typically they'll feel alienated by the gesture and think you're "desperate". You kind of need to move into that romance, I think.

Second, as Vanilla already explained not all girls like that sort of thing either. Everyone has different tastes, of course.

And if you think I'm a materialist... LOL. I must have done or said something very wrong to be so mistaken like that. If you knew me you'd know I'm very likely the complete opposite of a materialist. Materialism bores me to no end now.
I probably used to be rather materialistic in the past, but... that was a different person. I am not the same person who I used to be anymore, at all. And my past is where all my experience with people comes from, so perhaps I do not do well to convey the fracture between my old self and... me.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'll also say that being cheap with something out of necessity has nothing to do with being materialistic. Many of us live month to month, and probably can't always afford fancy dates. So if a guy took a girl (or girl took a guy) out to get a simple hamburger or an upscale restaurant, it should be about spending time together anyway. If someone dumps someone just because they went a cheaper, more simple route, then perhaps they should make sure whoever they agree to go out with can always afford lavish, deluxe dates.

I certainly wouldn't knock a guy for taking me to a burger or pizza joint. As long as I liked him, I'll do whatever with him. If I wanted money, then I'd chase after that and wouldn't complain that every dude couldn't afford fancy honeysuckle.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I haven't ever been on a date, but I was under the impression that men paying for the dates, whether it's the first or not, wasn't all that common anymore. In fact, I thought people mostly paid for themselves now, no matter what number the date now that women are working and we live in a less formal world. Unless it was a special occasion like a birthday or something like that.

Like, last night I was outside laying down in my yard looking at the stars. I swear I could see some galaxies. It was crystal clear. Beautiful.

That could be a date. Stargazing doesn't cost anything.

That sounds like a great night to me, either to top off a date night or just by itself, for the same reasons you mentioned - it's intellectually stimulating, inspiring, great for talking and feeling close to someone, and full of romantic undertones. It has a magical, fantasy feel - the stuff that memories are made of. It's something I'd dreamed of doing someday.

 

[Solivagant]

Unless it's a place where mosquitoes don't exist, I would be eaten up like crazy. Mosquitoes attack me during the day here, and it's even worse at night.

^ Same here, I get eaten alive. Even if I'm in a group, the mosquitoes all swarm to me. I wish they would not like me so much, lol.

I think it's a good date idea, but I'd only go on a date like that when it's cold enough to avoid being pestered by bugs, like in the fall; and I would feel like it's a bit intimate for a first date.

I've never been on a date, but I never thought that dinner was a great idea for a first date. It'd be too awkward and difficult to keep a conversation going, for me at least. Activity-based dates are better, I think. Movies and concerts never seemed like great ideas either, since you can't really get to know someone if you can't talk.

I always thought the Science Museum would make a great date, but maybe I'm weird, lol.

 

[ardour]

I've never been on a date, but I never thought that dinner was a great idea for a first date. It'd be too awkward and difficult to keep a conversation going, for me at least.

And to be honest I would find eating in front of someone uncomfortable, particularly on a first date.

 

[Aisha]

I'd like to ask all you ladies out. Let's go stargazing. I'll pay.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've never been on a date, but I never thought that dinner was a great idea for a first date. It'd be too awkward and difficult to keep a conversation going, for me at least.

And to be honest I would find eating in front of someone uncomfortable, particularly on a first date.

What... No. That's when you really get to know someone. How they shovel food into their mouths, and how they chew like a masticating cow. Come on, how can you not love seeing stuff like that... It's the most fun you'll ever have since kidnapping Santy Claus for Halloween.

 

[9006]

And to be honest I would find eating in front of someone uncomfortable, particularly on a first date.

I used to be like this when I was younger, but over the years I've been in the presents of so many pigs who eat like they're in a race, it's kinda made me feel better about the way I eat lol.

A thing I dislike though is that I eat pretty slow, I don't like to rush lol.