Merry Xmas from my girlfriend
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Lonesome Crow
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DESPERATIONS AND YOUR EGO..would be be a few reasons.
Plus youre simply attracted to her.
Your basic instinct of being attracted to certain women.
Your brain lights up and its an automatic reaction.
Our lower brain or amphiam brain
some term this as our EGO.
if you take the moral and value out
Of the equations, its not complicated.
Check your motive..
Stop playing the victim.
IF ITS NOT HER, ITLL BE SOMEONE LIKE HER.
I wrote before about tbe mental and emotional
Roller coasters..
EMBRACE the PAINS...
Think of it as an electrical shock to traim your
Brain not to play with fire anymore.
Its the same sort of process I personally went through
after going through a deep depression.
Today its an automatic response...my brain
Simply wont allow itself to go there.
No amount of counseling or adive would put me out
Of my depression...
Its just a natural process of my brain grasping it.
My brain now have a natural defensive to
Prevent itself from going in a depression.
I no longer suffer from depressions.
Or we can get into religion and spirituality.
Theze pbrases are design to help love ones
or people that wants to fix people.
IT HAPPENS IN GODS TIME.
GET THE fresia OUT OF THE WAY AND
WATCH THE MIRACLE HAPPENS.
The 7 deadly zins are simply just our
Basic zurvuval instincts or lower brain.
However if you emphasized Guilt
And enternalize or trun jt inward
It can become self destrucfive.
Then FORGiVeNess was designed.
Learn the lessons, dont carry the guilt.
So are you somehow wanting het to
Feel guilty or remose?
Learn sometype of lessons?
Plus youre simply attracted to her.
Your basic instinct of being attracted to certain women.
Your brain lights up and its an automatic reaction.
Our lower brain or amphiam brain
some term this as our EGO.
if you take the moral and value out
Of the equations, its not complicated.
Check your motive..
Stop playing the victim.
IF ITS NOT HER, ITLL BE SOMEONE LIKE HER.
I wrote before about tbe mental and emotional
Roller coasters..
EMBRACE the PAINS...
Think of it as an electrical shock to traim your
Brain not to play with fire anymore.
Its the same sort of process I personally went through
after going through a deep depression.
Today its an automatic response...my brain
Simply wont allow itself to go there.
No amount of counseling or adive would put me out
Of my depression...
Its just a natural process of my brain grasping it.
My brain now have a natural defensive to
Prevent itself from going in a depression.
I no longer suffer from depressions.
Or we can get into religion and spirituality.
Theze pbrases are design to help love ones
or people that wants to fix people.
IT HAPPENS IN GODS TIME.
GET THE fresia OUT OF THE WAY AND
WATCH THE MIRACLE HAPPENS.
The 7 deadly zins are simply just our
Basic zurvuval instincts or lower brain.
However if you emphasized Guilt
And enternalize or trun jt inward
It can become self destrucfive.
Then FORGiVeNess was designed.
Learn the lessons, dont carry the guilt.
So are you somehow wanting het to
Feel guilty or remose?
Learn sometype of lessons?
putter65 said:
****...
may or not be bad advice..but when you feel you need to leave someone...do it.
Honesty and communicate are huge, even more than sex, despite what others will tell you.
If there's no trust, no talking things out, there is NOTHING.
Lonesome Crow said:
That would help. If she got in touch and said 'sorry' and showed a bit of remorse.
I'm torn between thinking I will never hear from her again or she will start sending me messages in the new year pleading with me to have her back. I did get to know her a little, she has recently lost her job, she won't have much of a life. She will be stuck in all day having nothing to do. The only thing she will do all day is take her kids to school and pick them up. She is going to be very lonely. Her other fella lives in another city so he might not be around.
She asked to meet my Mam and Dad. And they both liked her. I don't get why she bothered. She initiated most of the kissing. She sent me loads of texts. She was obviously planning on seeing me in the New Year if her 'going on a fake holiday' plan had worked. I don't get why she bothered. And I am not willing to just let things go without finding out why.
Valince said:
I should have walked or at least asked her about this other fella. I got told about him after my second date with her (by the mutual friend) - the only trouble was the mutual friend told me not to say anything. So I acted like I didn't know.
A couple of weeks later I got asked down for coffee and they were both there. It was a setup, the mutual friend kept dropping massive hints that this woman was interested in me. I wasn't that bothered then and I was going thru the motions a bit.
That was the first time I kissed her and things developed from there. I presumed she had dumped the other fella. She added him onto her facebook a few weeks later. I told the mutual friend about it and the ex girlfriend came back to me with a 'don't worry, he's just a friend' - I believed her and I didn't think much about him after that.
The mutual friend has sent me many messages in the last few days and called the other woman a '*******' for what she has done.
Lonesome Crow
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Ive seen plenty of fake profiles or multiple profiles first hands from
many women ive been with.
The numberous dating sites or
Interaction site.
Meaning im with these women
As theyre playing other men...
I was also involved with someone for over a decade.
Technically she was my wife by common law.
She was even pregnant with my children.
She met my family and basically was part
Of our family or family. Many many xmas,
Thanks giving, and all the family gatherings
And functions. She even developed a loving
Relarionship with my mother.
During the last couple of years she falling
Ill triggered by the death of our children.
LOTS AND LOTS OF ERRORTIC BEHAVIORS
AND FINALLY INFIDELITY...
For a long time I couldn't get begound it.
I simpy just wanted her to acknowledge some
Of her actions. So i can resolve or forgive her
many women ive been with.
The numberous dating sites or
Interaction site.
Meaning im with these women
As theyre playing other men...
I was also involved with someone for over a decade.
Technically she was my wife by common law.
She was even pregnant with my children.
She met my family and basically was part
Of our family or family. Many many xmas,
Thanks giving, and all the family gatherings
And functions. She even developed a loving
Relarionship with my mother.
During the last couple of years she falling
Ill triggered by the death of our children.
LOTS AND LOTS OF ERRORTIC BEHAVIORS
AND FINALLY INFIDELITY...
For a long time I couldn't get begound it.
I simpy just wanted her to acknowledge some
Of her actions. So i can resolve or forgive her
Lonesome Crow said:
I know women lie, it's something they do.
I am mildly pissed off at the moment. I will get over it. I'm not desperate or anything. It was a blessing in disguise finding out this way. Maybe she was planning to get all my money in the New Year ?
She wasn't much of a girlfriend and sex seemed months away. What annoys me is how nice I was towards her. She isn't answering my texts because she can't blame me or call me an arsehole. I was / am a very nice person and she knows that.
Lonesome Crow
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PLanty of people reach out to me.
WHY???????
I wanted to know why she deid what
She did from het. I NEEDED her
To acknowledge something so that
I can have CLOSURE.
We even set appointments to resolve
Wgayevrr we need to resolved.
It became a crazy obsession and I
fucken itch i couldn't scrath
I couldn't get any releave.
TO THIS DAY SHE STILL HAVNT
ACKNOWLEDGE, APOLOGIZE OR
ADMIT TO ANYTHING.
HURTRD...I SIMPLY JUST WANTED
HER TO ACKNOWLEDGE SHE HURTED
ME..AND WHY IN THE fresia SHE
CAN'T DO THAT IS BEYOND ME.
SHE WANTRD TO BE THE MOTHER
OF MY CHILDREN. SHE LOVED ME
VERY MUCH...SO FUCKEN WHY,
WHY, WHY, WHY....
I DONT WANT TO FUCKEN WHY ANY FUCKEN
MORE. THE FUCKEN WHY...IS TOO FUCKEN
PAINFUL FOR ME..I GET IT, I GRASP IT NOW.
WHY???????
I wanted to know why she deid what
She did from het. I NEEDED her
To acknowledge something so that
I can have CLOSURE.
We even set appointments to resolve
Wgayevrr we need to resolved.
It became a crazy obsession and I
fucken itch i couldn't scrath
I couldn't get any releave.
TO THIS DAY SHE STILL HAVNT
ACKNOWLEDGE, APOLOGIZE OR
ADMIT TO ANYTHING.
HURTRD...I SIMPLY JUST WANTED
HER TO ACKNOWLEDGE SHE HURTED
ME..AND WHY IN THE fresia SHE
CAN'T DO THAT IS BEYOND ME.
SHE WANTRD TO BE THE MOTHER
OF MY CHILDREN. SHE LOVED ME
VERY MUCH...SO FUCKEN WHY,
WHY, WHY, WHY....
I DONT WANT TO FUCKEN WHY ANY FUCKEN
MORE. THE FUCKEN WHY...IS TOO FUCKEN
PAINFUL FOR ME..I GET IT, I GRASP IT NOW.
Lonesome Crow
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Theres crooket people in this world..
That's fucken why.
ACCEPTENCE CAN BE A SON OF A *****.
What i wanna know is...
WHY r u so obsessed with her, especaily
If you havnt receive the prize yet..
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
I KNOW WHY..
ITS CALL RENEGOTIATIONS...
ITS PART OF THE PROCESS.
Putter,
Do you remember people saying
To you....pretaining to your dealings
With this woman?
"DON'T TRUN INTO A FUCKEN PIMP". Lmao
That's fucken why.
ACCEPTENCE CAN BE A SON OF A *****.
What i wanna know is...
WHY r u so obsessed with her, especaily
If you havnt receive the prize yet..
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
I KNOW WHY..
ITS CALL RENEGOTIATIONS...
ITS PART OF THE PROCESS.
Putter,
Do you remember people saying
To you....pretaining to your dealings
With this woman?
"DON'T TRUN INTO A FUCKEN PIMP". Lmao
Lonesome Crow said:
I'm not obsessed but it's bothered me because she was my first girl. I'm 43 remember ! That's along time single !
And the way we split was unusual. If she had said 'I don't want to see you anymore' - it wouldn't have bothered me so much. She came into my house and told this elaberate lie. And then sent texts pretending to be in another country. Why not just dump me for gods sake ?
I'm writing about this because there is nothing else to write about.
And I can't remember what people on here said.
I've just had a good chat with the woman who told me about my ex girlfriends lying. She's an ex work colleague, known her for 10 years, a really nice woman.
Seems my ex has spent xmas away from her home. She and her car have not been seen since before xmas. Obvious she has spent xmas with that other bloke. That's a definate !
And when I went down that night it was definately a man I saw. (Not her Mother, which some people have said. I can tell the difference between a man and a woman !)
Also seems I was getting two timed all along.
It was all a carefully worked out plan. She was spending xmas in another city with some bloke and her neighbours would never know. She told me she was in another country on holiday. I never would have known. Except she was seen on the Wednesday before xmas by her neighbour. And the next day I mentioned it to her. And then the lie was exposed.
It's a sorry affair. You hear about lonely men getting conned by women. What would have happened next year is anybodies guess. What hurts is it was all a con from the start. She never liked me or enjoyed my company. I can't think - 'oh it was nice having a girlfriend' because it was all fake.
It's just aload of crap to be honest.
Seems my ex has spent xmas away from her home. She and her car have not been seen since before xmas. Obvious she has spent xmas with that other bloke. That's a definate !
And when I went down that night it was definately a man I saw. (Not her Mother, which some people have said. I can tell the difference between a man and a woman !)
Also seems I was getting two timed all along.
It was all a carefully worked out plan. She was spending xmas in another city with some bloke and her neighbours would never know. She told me she was in another country on holiday. I never would have known. Except she was seen on the Wednesday before xmas by her neighbour. And the next day I mentioned it to her. And then the lie was exposed.
It's a sorry affair. You hear about lonely men getting conned by women. What would have happened next year is anybodies guess. What hurts is it was all a con from the start. She never liked me or enjoyed my company. I can't think - 'oh it was nice having a girlfriend' because it was all fake.
It's just aload of crap to be honest.
TheSolitaryMan
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You have to consider that it's very possible she's leading this other guy on a merry ride too. She sounds like a horrible, deceptive person frankly.
I know it's not much consolation at all, but I'd say you're better off single in this situation.
I too am at a loss to explain it, especially with the exchange of presents and so on. It seems really screwed up.
However, don't blame yourself or put yourself down. She must have found you attractive in some way to let you into her life, even in such an exploitative fashion.
I have to say, I was a little bit confused by some of the things you said she'd done even back in the original thread when you were discussing meeting her. Stuff like the FB guy, not replying to texts and so on. All a bit suspicious. It's unfortunate that it turned out to be justifiably unusual.
To me, it would seem that with the initiating kissing (I think you mentioned you got more intimate than that too?) and so on that she did, it's like she found you physically attractive but has no sense of morality or loyalty behind that.
Hence she moved onto this other guy, or was possibly seeing him all along, due to her own serious personality flaws. I don't think she would have let you see parts of her life as she did if it was all a deliberate con, she clearly is not committed towards any one romantic goal and is coldly manipulative about getting whatever she wants at a particular moment.
I'd say in future, if a woman suddenly goes quiet, seems to be very hot/cold or if you just generally feel she is not being 100% straight with you, you should listen to those inner alarm bells and immediately get to the bottom of it. Hesistation and a vague lack of trust/knowledge make a painful combination.
I know it's not much consolation at all, but I'd say you're better off single in this situation.
I too am at a loss to explain it, especially with the exchange of presents and so on. It seems really screwed up.
However, don't blame yourself or put yourself down. She must have found you attractive in some way to let you into her life, even in such an exploitative fashion.
I have to say, I was a little bit confused by some of the things you said she'd done even back in the original thread when you were discussing meeting her. Stuff like the FB guy, not replying to texts and so on. All a bit suspicious. It's unfortunate that it turned out to be justifiably unusual.
To me, it would seem that with the initiating kissing (I think you mentioned you got more intimate than that too?) and so on that she did, it's like she found you physically attractive but has no sense of morality or loyalty behind that.
Hence she moved onto this other guy, or was possibly seeing him all along, due to her own serious personality flaws. I don't think she would have let you see parts of her life as she did if it was all a deliberate con, she clearly is not committed towards any one romantic goal and is coldly manipulative about getting whatever she wants at a particular moment.
I'd say in future, if a woman suddenly goes quiet, seems to be very hot/cold or if you just generally feel she is not being 100% straight with you, you should listen to those inner alarm bells and immediately get to the bottom of it. Hesistation and a vague lack of trust/knowledge make a painful combination.
TheSolitaryMan said:
Yes your right. But it was my first serious relationship and I didn't know what the hell to do.
It's all strange and I am determined to get to the bottom of it. I know I should walk away but it is nagging at me and it is not getting any better.
I still feel pissed off about it all.
If I was a guy who could get dates with women easily then I would have acted differently.
putter65 said:
No, I didn't sleep with her. And it seems pretty certain the other guy was. Since she spent the weekend at his place after she saw me for the first time.
God ! I made the decision in November not to have anything more to do with her. Because I knew about the other guy and I could see on her facebook the messages she sent him.
And she sent me this text and 2 hours later (out of politeness) I answered her saying as little as possible. Of course then she rang me up and things moved on after that. If only ..
Lonesome Crow
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Wow,...
This is what i mean everyone have there own perception of life.
To me...texting, FB, going out for coffee,
Gifts, flowers, meetings family and friends are still..COURTING stages.
Nothing remotely close to a serious relationship in my world.
From your perspective its a serious
Relationship. Which feeds into your
EGO cuase to can tell everyone you
Have a younger woman your seeing.
From her perspective..shes just dating
Different men. THATS WHY ITS CALL
DATING. People do it all the ime.
Its actually healthy.
Itst
Do you purchase the first car you
Test drive?
Or do you test drive various cars,
Visit many car dealers. Kick the
Tires, check under the hood
before you commit yourself to
A contract for 6 years?
No one wants to be stuck
with a lemmon but at
the sametime looking
For a car that will suit
Their wants and needs.
When it comes to a life time
Partnerships or marriage.
Its a life time comittmemt...
The dating process or finding a partner is
Not more complicated than this.
My fiance is like a bad as classic mucel
Car or hot rod. AMERICAN made.lol
She has miles on her.
She needs tune up and
Aot of rewtiring.
Semi high maintenance.lmao
BUT SHE TOTALLY BAD ASS AND
WILL BURN RUBBER IF YOU GIVE
HER SOME LTC.lol
This is what i mean everyone have there own perception of life.
To me...texting, FB, going out for coffee,
Gifts, flowers, meetings family and friends are still..COURTING stages.
Nothing remotely close to a serious relationship in my world.
From your perspective its a serious
Relationship. Which feeds into your
EGO cuase to can tell everyone you
Have a younger woman your seeing.
From her perspective..shes just dating
Different men. THATS WHY ITS CALL
DATING. People do it all the ime.
Its actually healthy.
Itst
Do you purchase the first car you
Test drive?
Or do you test drive various cars,
Visit many car dealers. Kick the
Tires, check under the hood
before you commit yourself to
A contract for 6 years?
No one wants to be stuck
with a lemmon but at
the sametime looking
For a car that will suit
Their wants and needs.
When it comes to a life time
Partnerships or marriage.
Its a life time comittmemt...
The dating process or finding a partner is
Not more complicated than this.
My fiance is like a bad as classic mucel
Car or hot rod. AMERICAN made.lol
She has miles on her.
She needs tune up and
Aot of rewtiring.
Semi high maintenance.lmao
BUT SHE TOTALLY BAD ASS AND
WILL BURN RUBBER IF YOU GIVE
HER SOME LTC.lol
TheSolitaryMan
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putter65 said:
If I were you, I would just delete her phone number and take her off Facebook, sever any contact.
It's completely your choice, but the fact that she still has this apparent power over your emotions is a bad thing.
She's not going to apologise - people that are this callous generally do not. And even if she were to suddenly do that, would it mean anything? It'd likely be more bullshit. She wouldn't be sorry, she'd be trying to reel you in again for goodness knows what reason.
I can understand what it's like to feel manipulated/cheated like this, a similar thing was going through my mind around 6 months ago, though I didn't even get to a vague relationship stage before I began to feel controlled.
I got over it by just forgetting the girl in question completely. Stopped calling/texting her, stopped talking to her, brushed her off when she tried to flirt with me. I felt so much better for doing that, she lost any sort of power she held over me almost instantly.
The sooner you can just establish in your mind that she is a selfish human being not worthy of your attention, the sooner you can move on to finding a woman that will genuinely want to make you happy
L
Lonely in BC
Guest
Hey putter,
You mentioned being determined to get to the bottom of it as far as what this deceptive individual has done- maybe you should just let it go. Someone that callous and manipulative likely won't give you a straight answer anyhow, kind of seems that you're setting yourself up for more of her twisted games.
I'm not trying to insult your intelligence when I say this but what happens if she turns on the charm and gives you some kind of b.s. story that sucks you back in? You wouldn't be the first (or last) guy in the world that a self centered person hasn't toyed with emotionally- its a nasty roller-coaster ride that I wouldn't wish on anyone
You mentioned being determined to get to the bottom of it as far as what this deceptive individual has done- maybe you should just let it go. Someone that callous and manipulative likely won't give you a straight answer anyhow, kind of seems that you're setting yourself up for more of her twisted games.
I'm not trying to insult your intelligence when I say this but what happens if she turns on the charm and gives you some kind of b.s. story that sucks you back in? You wouldn't be the first (or last) guy in the world that a self centered person hasn't toyed with emotionally- its a nasty roller-coaster ride that I wouldn't wish on anyone
Lonesome Crow
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Im not into BMW,LEXUS
OR MERCEDY.
A 1969 corvette sting ray.lol
OR MERCEDY.
A 1969 corvette sting ray.lol
TheSolitaryMan
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Lonesome Crow said:
No offence LC, but how does this pertain to the topic? I think Putter could do with some support from us all in this crappy situation, perhaps you could start a quality classical car thread for that stuff?
Some... kind of... metaphor?
lol! I get you, LC.
Putter, in the time you'll no doubt need to recover from this, I hope that you'll consider what kind of person YOU wish to be. You can't change her but you can be stronger. You can be the superior being, not that I would encourage you to think of it in those terms. While I haven't been through anything as extreme as this, I can tell you that I was on the brink of letting myself drift away from someone. But in all that time of thinking, all I could feel myself doing is damage to myself. It wouldn't have been simply drifting away. It would have been drifting away with bitterness, something I don't wish to hold inside of me as I grow older. Long story short, "I pass the test! I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel." I managed to remain myself, and I feel more at peace about the whole thing, peace that I don't believe I would have found had I chosen another path.
Feeling negatively about people does me no good. That's just who I am. It pays to forgive people, even those who don't ask for it.
lol! I get you, LC.
Putter, in the time you'll no doubt need to recover from this, I hope that you'll consider what kind of person YOU wish to be. You can't change her but you can be stronger. You can be the superior being, not that I would encourage you to think of it in those terms. While I haven't been through anything as extreme as this, I can tell you that I was on the brink of letting myself drift away from someone. But in all that time of thinking, all I could feel myself doing is damage to myself. It wouldn't have been simply drifting away. It would have been drifting away with bitterness, something I don't wish to hold inside of me as I grow older. Long story short, "I pass the test! I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel." I managed to remain myself, and I feel more at peace about the whole thing, peace that I don't believe I would have found had I chosen another path.
Feeling negatively about people does me no good. That's just who I am. It pays to forgive people, even those who don't ask for it.
