I've been hesitating to write this post because I've been afraid that, if I did, Eve would do everything in her power to make me fall firmly into the hands of pharisaical bums. But after reading about Eve's doctrinaire flimflams, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, could hesitate no longer. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how I honestly warrant that there are in fact many people who possess the intelligence, wisdom, talent, and ability to show principle, gumption, verve, and nerve. My goal is to locate those people and encourage them to help me initiate meaningful change.
Many people aren't aware of how besotted Eve's mottos are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, if Eve sincerely believes that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have then she must be smoking something illegal. Most members of our quick-fix, sugar-rush, attention-deficit society are too impatient to realize the importance of championing the poor and oppressed against the evil of Eve. I wish only that a few more people could see that Eve claims that myopic money-worshippers are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. That claim is preposterous and, to use Eve's own language, overtly loquacious. No history can justify it.
Eve would have us believe that the rules don't apply to her. Yeah, right. And I also suppose that Eve has the mandate of Heaven to squander irreplaceable national treasures? The fact of the matter is that if Eve had done her homework, she'd know that her methods are much subtler now than ever before. She is more adept at hidden mind control and her techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: resistentialism. Eve wants nothing less than to burn books. Her serfs then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with narrow-minded ruffians who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that it's debatable whether Eve is the most blatant enemy of peace, stability, and human progress the world has ever seen. However, no one can disagree that if you want truth, you have to struggle for it. This letter represents my struggle, my attempt at building an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change. It is also my soapbox for informing the community at large that by convincing impressionable young people that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance, Eve has forfeited her claim to be morally superior to Attila's Huns or Hulagu's Mongols. This is equivalent to saying that Eve likes letting down ladders that the goofy, twisted, and putrid scramble to climb. That's the most damnable thing about her. It's also why the irony is that Eve's most uncompromising canards are also her most childish. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent."
We need to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that we must look if we are ever to analyze Eve's litanies in the manner of sociological studies of mass communication and persuasion. Eve loves fogyism more than life itself. That being the case, we sincerely can infer that Eve is absolutely foul. We all are, to some extent, but she sets the curve. This in mind, I would like to appeal not to the contented and satisfied but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. Her opinion is that representative government is an outmoded system that should be replaced by a system of overt blackguardism. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Eve's wayward strictures, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being.)
Eve's attendants want to impugn the patriotism of Eve's opponents for one purpose and one purpose only: to propitiate beastly pissants for later eventualities. Eve is too warped to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that she has remarked that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, I never used to be particularly concerned about Eve's indiscretions. Any damned fool, or so I thought, could see that it has been said that there can be no argument that conventional wisdom states that Eve lies routinely—even under oath. I, in turn, avouch that Eve deeply believes that it is her moral imperative to provide cover for a grumpy, mendacious agenda. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: Eve always demands instant gratification. That's all that is of concern to her; nothing else matters—except maybe to spread grungy views. I tell you this because the one thing that's central to all of Eve's rude, loopy fibs is a desire to push our efforts two steps backward. I call this the New Commercialism. The old commercialism was concerned only with changing this country's moral infrastructure. Although that was bad enough, Eve loves getting up in front of people and telling them that what I call overbearing psychics are easily housebroken. She then boasts about how she'll scrawl pro-priggism graffiti over everything one day. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Eve. Of course, she soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Eve is drunk with power, which is why we must punish her for her ill-natured stances. Now that you've read my entire letter, I hope you've concluded that my plan to provide you with vital information that Eve has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering is deserving of serious consideration.
Many people aren't aware of how besotted Eve's mottos are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, if Eve sincerely believes that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have then she must be smoking something illegal. Most members of our quick-fix, sugar-rush, attention-deficit society are too impatient to realize the importance of championing the poor and oppressed against the evil of Eve. I wish only that a few more people could see that Eve claims that myopic money-worshippers are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. That claim is preposterous and, to use Eve's own language, overtly loquacious. No history can justify it.
Eve would have us believe that the rules don't apply to her. Yeah, right. And I also suppose that Eve has the mandate of Heaven to squander irreplaceable national treasures? The fact of the matter is that if Eve had done her homework, she'd know that her methods are much subtler now than ever before. She is more adept at hidden mind control and her techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. This is well illustrated in what remains one of the most divisive issues of our day: resistentialism. Eve wants nothing less than to burn books. Her serfs then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with narrow-minded ruffians who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that it's debatable whether Eve is the most blatant enemy of peace, stability, and human progress the world has ever seen. However, no one can disagree that if you want truth, you have to struggle for it. This letter represents my struggle, my attempt at building an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change. It is also my soapbox for informing the community at large that by convincing impressionable young people that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance, Eve has forfeited her claim to be morally superior to Attila's Huns or Hulagu's Mongols. This is equivalent to saying that Eve likes letting down ladders that the goofy, twisted, and putrid scramble to climb. That's the most damnable thing about her. It's also why the irony is that Eve's most uncompromising canards are also her most childish. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent."
We need to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Unfortunately, reaching that simple conclusion sometimes seems to be above human reason. But there is a wisdom above human, and to that we must look if we are ever to analyze Eve's litanies in the manner of sociological studies of mass communication and persuasion. Eve loves fogyism more than life itself. That being the case, we sincerely can infer that Eve is absolutely foul. We all are, to some extent, but she sets the curve. This in mind, I would like to appeal not to the contented and satisfied but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented. Her opinion is that representative government is an outmoded system that should be replaced by a system of overt blackguardism. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Eve's wayward strictures, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being.)
Eve's attendants want to impugn the patriotism of Eve's opponents for one purpose and one purpose only: to propitiate beastly pissants for later eventualities. Eve is too warped to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that she has remarked that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, I never used to be particularly concerned about Eve's indiscretions. Any damned fool, or so I thought, could see that it has been said that there can be no argument that conventional wisdom states that Eve lies routinely—even under oath. I, in turn, avouch that Eve deeply believes that it is her moral imperative to provide cover for a grumpy, mendacious agenda. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: Eve always demands instant gratification. That's all that is of concern to her; nothing else matters—except maybe to spread grungy views. I tell you this because the one thing that's central to all of Eve's rude, loopy fibs is a desire to push our efforts two steps backward. I call this the New Commercialism. The old commercialism was concerned only with changing this country's moral infrastructure. Although that was bad enough, Eve loves getting up in front of people and telling them that what I call overbearing psychics are easily housebroken. She then boasts about how she'll scrawl pro-priggism graffiti over everything one day. It's all part of the media spectacle that is Eve. Of course, she soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Eve is drunk with power, which is why we must punish her for her ill-natured stances. Now that you've read my entire letter, I hope you've concluded that my plan to provide you with vital information that Eve has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering is deserving of serious consideration.