My spirit is imprisoned in my body

[Bluey]

Trapped in my twisted body I feel downtrodden and even oppressed.
It there for seems impossible to achieve my ambitions in what should be with in my reach has a free spirited, friendly and a honorable human being.

England where I live a western country is supposed to be fair for all.
If your prepared to work hard and save hard there should be no reason why you can not achieve an amicable standard of living.

However if your like me and not academically intelligent and have physical imperfections then the society we have still is not fair.

Trapped on social benefit makes you feel even moor downtrodden and oppressed.
To me social benefit does nothing moor then to keep a person physically alive as to elaborate the guilt of what is millions of hard working tax paying people.
In essence it makes the majority of society feel good that they can take care of the mentally and physically disabled.

To me it would be moor humane to end a life the second it was a burden on society.
To just exist is not enough. The spirit needs to grow.
In order for that to happen a spirit needs moor then food and water.

Do you not think just because a person is not able to work or work has many hours or indeed the same kind of work that most can do that they would not have the same aspirations has any other free spirited person would?

To keep a person alive in this way knowing there never going to be able to achieve the same has there friends, family and neighbors no matter how hard they save and work is just not humane.

Let me ask you something who ever may read this.
If you had a dog that you loved very much but you know that dog was not happy for what ever reason that was. If you could not fix that problem for your closest feline friend would you carry on giving your friend he's/hers one a day meal to keep your friend alive? Or would you take your friend to the vet and have him/her put to sleep to pass over to what I believe is the spirit world where your feline friend well be at lest at peace.

What here would be the human thing to do?

(maybe Hitler was on to something) Just sayin


I typed "my spirit is imprisoned in my body" into google images and this is one of the images I got.

This one I thought fitted how I most feel.

I have tried to elaborate the way I feel in words in this thread.
The closest I can with words.
My true feelings am not able to describe in words.
Only in my physical death well my spirit truly understand the hardships, the lessons and the beauty of what it means for some of us to live on this plane.

 

[Estrios_Vega]

Oh wow. You are in a lot of pain aren't you? I wish there was something I could do to help you out more than give you a few encouraging words. But, my words are the only thing I have to give.

I read a story once, about a person who could not accept happiness. But they didn't realize that was the case, they went around cursing their bad luck and their misfortune. Crying out to the world wondering why life had treated them so unfairly. One day the person happened upon a fortune teller. The person asked the old diviner what they should do to rid themselves of this curse and the reply was this, "To rid yourself of your curse, to unchain yourself from your reality, you must give up the most precious thing to you - your ability to choose." The person who cursed their fate was appalled at the fortune teller. How could they ask me to give up my most basic right as a human? I won't, I can't give up my choice. He told the fortune teller this and their only reply was this, "Go. You have taken your first step. Make your choice to be happy, for you are the only one that can direct the fate you were given." And that person lives on, making a choice to see the brighter and the better, to not be chained down by the dirvish whirlwind of life but flow into the being that THEY wanted to become.

Don't ever give up. Please. There are too many people that love you for you. You are a wonderful and strong person, we are all here to help and support you. If you ever need to talk or just want someone to listen. I know that I am very willing to help you. And I am sure there are many here who would do the same.

 

[Bluey]

Hi Estrios_Vega, Good to meet you mate

Am not suicidal BTW just need to make that clear

Just had that inside me and needed to get it out in some place. this place seemed has good has any.
At lest it well be told to someone.
Might has well be by ppl that understand loneliness has I do then anyone else.

I thought what you said was interesting. TBH Ive not takin it all in as its late here and sleep is knocking on my door.
I well make a point of coming back tomorrow morning with a cup of tea and re-reading what you put through when my brain is moor alive and welling

For now though I bid you good night XD

 

[A new life]

Feeling sorry for yourself?
If so, then you should watch these videos:






I was feeling miserable one day, feeling sorry for myself.
Boo hoo nobody loves me, blah blah blah....................
On my way home from work I saw a guy sitting at a bus stop in a wheelchair.
He had no legs.
Then I felt ashamed of myself.
In spite of being alone, I still have so so much to be happy about.

I think now and then we need reminders of how lucky we are.

 

[Drama]

This reminds me of someone..... Ah, it reminds me of me.
I do understand what you are going throu. I am living almost the same thing
(will add more to this later)

 

[Bluey]

Oh wow. You are in a lot of pain aren't you? I wish there was something I could do to help you out more than give you a few encouraging words. But, my words are the only thing I have to give.

I read a story once, about a person who could not accept happiness. But they didn't realize that was the case, they went around cursing their bad luck and their misfortune. Crying out to the world wondering why life had treated them so unfairly. One day the person happened upon a fortune teller. The person asked the old diviner what they should do to rid themselves of this curse and the reply was this, "To rid yourself of your curse, to unchain yourself from your reality, you must give up the most precious thing to you - your ability to choose." The person who cursed their fate was appalled at the fortune teller. How could they ask me to give up my most basic right as a human? I won't, I can't give up my choice. He told the fortune teller this and their only reply was this, "Go. You have taken your first step. Make your choice to be happy, for you are the only one that can direct the fate you were given." And that person lives on, making a choice to see the brighter and the better, to not be chained down by the dirvish whirlwind of life but flow into the being that THEY wanted to become.

Don't ever give up. Please. There are too many people that love you for you. You are a wonderful and strong person, we are all here to help and support you. If you ever need to talk or just want someone to listen. I know that I am very willing to help you. And I am sure there are many here who would do the same.

Hi again Estrios_Vega, I agree that to be happy is a choice to a degree.
My problem is I don't like my body.
It is twisted and weaker then it should be and dose some times give me pain and most of the time feels awkward and well twisted.
With out a top on it looks very defamed too.
I am looking at prospected loves and it is putting me off approaching them becomes I look at myself in the mirror and I don't see what would attract anyone to what I see When I look at my body in the mirror it hurts to see what I see every time.
I dearly wish I could accept this but I fear no matter how long I live I well not be able to.

Am not very ambitious. I just wish to be fit enough to work and then have enough energy to socialise on a weekend.
This I know well never happen.
I also really really wish I could find some way to not have to claim benefit in order to get by.
That continues also to be a thorn in my side.

I get what your saying with your story. I have said myself and on here I think that everyone gets a different hand dealt to them in life.
No matter how good or bad that hand you just have to play it to the best of your ability.
I think I do that but it is hard staying upbeat about things when you don't work, have no partner and have lived alone for what is now 16 years.
In the day I have no need to leave the house for work. There is no one here but me. So If I don't leave the house I see no one. I can and do sometimes go days with out even unlocking my front door. I did go out yesterday for a few hours but physically Ive not been feeling %10 in the last few days so had to come back for a afternoon sleep. I did feel better for it but at 36 years old I should not be needing a power nap.
Wich I seem to do often even if I don't go anywhere in the day or do anything.

But hay I well continue to play my hand the beast I can and at lest except that I am only human so its OK to get down sometimes
And ye I know this place has lots of descent ppl here
This place for me is still the most amazing place on the net.

---

Feeling sorry for yourself?

haha, I was a little yes.
Was it that obvious?

If so, then you should watch these videos:






I was feeling miserable one day, feeling sorry for myself.
Boo hoo nobody loves me, blah blah blah....................
On my way home from work I saw a guy sitting at a bus stop in a wheelchair.
He had no legs.
Then I felt ashamed of myself.
In spite of being alone, I still have so so much to be happy about.

I think now and then we need reminders of how lucky we are.

Oh yes good old Nick. I have seen that guy be for and the first time I sew him it did make me fill up I well admit that.
The guy is amazing. He is even moor so amazing in my eyes cos he has a strong christian believe. Something that is not so easy to do when you don't have the good job and a healthy life and family. I don't believe but I do admire him for it has I think it dose make you a stronger person cos of it.

I did not know he had been in a film though. That film looks interesting.
I well make a point in watching the hole film
The second link did not work BTW.
I do think you for the links though

A film that I watched the other night was called In pursuit of happiness
I thought it was interesting and I think if you have not see it be for you should watch it as I think you would enjoy it

---

This reminds me of someone..... Ah, it reminds me of me.
I do understand what you are going throu. I am living almost the same thing
(will add more to this later)

I don't know why that image stood out to me moor then the others.
It just seems to say a lot. He looks repressed. Witch is I guss how I feel.

I look forward to hearing moor from you.

On another note this tea is going down a trait,. A good cup of tea is what gets me out of bed in a morning

My needs are simple

 

[SophiaGrace]

My Aunt says it's a sign of confidence to go up to people and introduce yourself instead of hanging back in the corner of a room.

Also, I know this kid from a Ventilator camp who is a quadropeligic, has a BA degree in law and has a gf.

If he can do it. So can you. I bet you just need a bit of confidence.

 

[Drama]

Trapped in my twisted body I feel downtrodden and even oppressed.
It there for seems impossible to achieve my ambitions in what should be with in my reach has a free spirited, friendly and a honorable human being.

Oh I am sure I have a way more messed up body than yours since it's of no great use to me BUT my disabilities NEVER prevented me from achieving what I want. Even if it seemed impossible to achieve, but I refused to just give up and watch my life go on miserably. DONT LET IT STOP YOU. no matter how it seems hard. You're different, so what??? screw everything that stops you and live your life the way you want it. Dont search for excuses to give up.

To me it would be moor humane to end a life the second it was a burden on society.
To just exist is not enough. The spirit needs to grow.
In order for that to happen a spirit needs moor then food and water.

Yes, It needs a reason to live too.

To keep a person alive in this way knowing there never going to be able to achieve the same has there friends, family and neighbors no matter how hard they save and work is just not humane.

What's not human is to think that someone with a disabily should just die because they're "useless". Live and prove EVERYONE wrong. Live and work **** hard to prove to everyone and to yourself that even if you're not gifted by the same qualities as other people, you're still able to do something with your life.

Let me ask you something who ever may read this.
If you had a dog that you loved very much but you know that dog was not happy for what ever reason that was. If you could not fix that problem for your closest feline friend would you carry on giving your friend he's/hers one a day meal to keep your friend alive? Or would you take your friend to the vet and have him/her put to sleep to pass over to what I believe is the spirit world where your feline friend well be at lest at peace.

There is no peace in death.
No matter how your life seems hard, be sure that there's somewhere someone who lives with worse problems than you. I refuse to give up to death just because I am different or just because I suffer. We all suffer in a way or another. But death is not the solution.

I have tried to elaborate the way I feel in words in this thread.
The closest I can with words.
My true feelings am not able to describe in words.
Only in my physical death well my spirit truly understand the hardships, the lessons and the beauty of what it means for some of us to live on this plane.

(huug)

 

[Bluey]

My Aunt says it's a sign of confidence to go up to people and introduce yourself instead of hanging back in the corner of a room.

I do have confidence to do that easy.
I am the sort of person to just start talking to any random person.
Just when it comes to love and finding friends I would like to keep around I struggle a lot.

Also, I know this kid from a Ventilator camp who is a quadropeligic, has a BA degree in law and has a gf.

Well, am happy for him. I don't begrudge anyone else to be happy.
I have been back to college a number of times and its just not my thing.
I have always struggled to do the work when ether at college and when I was at school.

If he can do it. So can you. I bet you just need a bit of confidence.

Its not about talking to ppl. Am not shy in that way at all.
IDK if its about confidence. Am not sure what it is.
Obviously this guy has something I don't. Apart from the degree and a GF

---

Oh I am sure I have a way more messed up body than yours since it's of no great use to me BUT my disabilities NEVER prevented me from achieving what I want. Even if it seemed impossible to achieve, but I refused to just give up and watch my life go on miserably. DONT LET IT STOP YOU. no matter how it seems hard. You're different, so what??? screw everything that stops you and live your life the way you want it. Dont search for excuses to give up.

Your hole post was really very inspiring I thought Your good.
It made me realize that maybe a kick up the ass is what I needed lol
Well I do try. I have always done that.
Just when it comes to getting an education and some qualifications ive always struggled a lot.

You just know from your post here that I am going to ask what your disability is though, Don't you?
I would be interested.

What's not human is to think that someone with a disabily should just die because they're "useless". Live and prove EVERYONE wrong. Live and work **** hard to prove to everyone and to yourself that even if you're not gifted by the same qualities as other people, you're still able to do something with your life.

And this was the kick up the ass I referred to XD

You are right. I don't rely think that ppl with a debility should be put down.
Just me I guss. Not just because I struggle to keep up with ppl but because I am unhappy with my life and feel a failure and there is nothing I can do about the things I so dearly wish I could change.

There is no peace in death.

This I disagree with.
I do believe there is peace in death.
I also believe the spirit lives forever and all of this is for a reason.
I have to believe that other wise nothing at all would make seance to me.

No matter how your life seems hard, be sure that there's somewhere someone who lives with worse problems than you. I refuse to give up to death just because I am different or just because I suffer. We all suffer in a way or another. But death is not the solution.

True we all do in one way or another. And I am well aware that there are ppl out there that suffer silent battles that no one would have a clue about.
But has am sure you know when your not feeling happy you don't think about them ppl most of which you don't know personally.
For me I think of the ppl I know. Most of which live with a family or a loved one at lest, and have a job to go to and ppl to go out and have fun with.
Even when I am feeling fit enough to go out and enjoy myself its getting moor and moor regular that I have no one to actually go out with.
I am moor and moor doing things on my own. Witch I do. But it is a lot moor fun with another person.

(huug)

oioioi, Hugs back :$

 

[Sean]

Sorry to hear this Bluey,

Wish I could give some helpful advice,
Best of luck.

 

[Bluey]

Sorry to hear this Bluey,

Wish I could give some helpful advice,
Best of luck.

Thanks,
I be OK. I hope hahaha

I hope your doing good.

 

[Drama]

Oh I am sure I have a way more messed up body than yours since it's of no great use to me BUT my disabilities NEVER prevented me from achieving what I want. Even if it seemed impossible to achieve, but I refused to just give up and watch my life go on miserably. DONT LET IT STOP YOU. no matter how it seems hard. You're different, so what??? screw everything that stops you and live your life the way you want it. Dont search for excuses to give up.

Your hole post was really very inspiring I thought Your good.
It made me realize that maybe a kick up the ass is what I needed lol
Well I do try. I have always done that.
Just when it comes to getting an education and some qualifications ive always struggled a lot.

You just know from your post here that I am going to ask what your disability is though, Don't you?
I would be interested.

Well I really hope it helps
Not that I wanted to talk about my crap but it was a must to show you that you're not the only one and that you shouldnt feel bad about who you are
Well.... I have... come kidn of rare disease.. myopathy....

What's not human is to think that someone with a disabily should just die because they're "useless". Live and prove EVERYONE wrong. Live and work **** hard to prove to everyone and to yourself that even if you're not gifted by the same qualities as other people, you're still able to do something with your life.

And this was the kick up the ass I referred to XD

You are right. I don't rely think that ppl with a debility should be put down.
Just me I guss. Not just because I struggle to keep up with ppl but because I am unhappy with my life and feel a failure and there is nothing I can do about the things I so dearly wish I could change.

Well you are one of "us". If you think that people with disabilities shouldnt be taken down then YOU have to include yourself
Being unhappy can happen to anyone.. even to people without disabilities. that makes the difference is that some struggle to find the happiness and some dont.

There is no peace in death.

This I disagree with.
I do believe there is peace in death.
I also believe the spirit lives forever and all of this is for a reason.
I have to believe that other wise nothing at all would make seance to me.

Welll... wishing death is kind of giving up to me.. and that's unacceptable, imo.

No matter how your life seems hard, be sure that there's somewhere someone who lives with worse problems than you. I refuse to give up to death just because I am different or just because I suffer. We all suffer in a way or another. But death is not the solution.

True we all do in one way or another. And I am well aware that there are ppl out there that suffer silent battles that no one would have a clue about.
But has am sure you know when your not feeling happy you don't think about them ppl most of which you don't know personally.
For me I think of the ppl I know. Most of which live with a family or a loved one at lest, and have a job to go to and ppl to go out and have fun with.
Even when I am feeling fit enough to go out and enjoy myself its getting moor and moor regular that I have no one to actually go out with.
I am moor and moor doing things on my own. Witch I do. But it is a lot moor fun with another person.

I know what you mean BUT that's not the right thing to do.. You shouldnt compare yourself with who's better than you unless you want to take them as good examples to try to improve your life. Dont ask yourself "why me?" dont have pity of yourself... just find your way to be HAPPY or at least satisfied. Please, dont find excuses to just give up. I know it's hard. I really do. I know that you feel and i cant really put it in words... I was tempted multipes of times to give up but I just cant accept defeat

(huug)

oioioi, Hugs back :$