Online Harassment

[BeyondShy]

Here's a video that's a little under seventeen minutes and it's about online harassment and especially how it deals with women. It is a mixture of seriousness and humor that will make this video fly by for you. And it is an eye-opener too. I honestly had no idea how bad Facebook and twitter could be in regards to this since I am not on either one of them. I may not be much but I have never done this to anyone on the internet, man or woman.

I'm sure a lot of women here will find this interesting and for what it's worth I respect all of you and wish you nothing but the best on and off line.

[video=youtube]

 

[VanillaCreme]

I love how people blame Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites that they don't need to sign up for. Don't like it? Don't use it. It's very simple.

 

[Aisha]

I love how people blame Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites that they don't need to sign up for. Don't like it? Don't use it. It's very simple.

I believe that's exactly the issue or part of the issue the video addressed. "Don't like it? Don't use it' is the easiest thing to say. Almost a fourth of the world now uses Facebook. It's an easy and convenient way to remain in contact with people. I have deactivated my Facebook and don't use other social media sites, but there are others who are social who will probably make better use of it than me.

Sure signing up is optional, but people have been using social media for years now, it's not going away any time soon. I don't think it's just about 'liking' social media sites. You can use them and like using them. But if someone starts harassing you on social media it's not a choice about 'liking' social media or not, the issue becomes far more serious. It's out of your hands. Something that ought to be harmless, that you liked using has turned into something quite dangerous. Then what do you do? Turn off the computer, stop using the internet, remove your accounts from everything, end all contact with people you perhaps would not be in touch with otherwise or who you may need to be in contact with, all because some idiot bullied you into not 'liking' social media? The point of the video was not about whether people 'liked' using social media.

 

[Serephina]

I keep getting a message saying "The uploader has not made this video available in your country" so anyone in UK might not be able to get this unless there is another way that I don't know about.

I don't think you can blame the social sites,it's individuals that use it that the issue. I think you can bann people from your site. It's like if someone says anything that I feel can be taken as abusive behaviour towards me on Facebook,I wouldn't think twice about unfriending them.

 

[Aisha]

I keep getting a message saying "The uploader has not made this video available in your country" so anyone in UK might not be able to get this unless there is another way that I don't know about.

I don't think you can blame the social sites,it's individuals that use it that the issue. I think you can bann people from your site. It's like if someone says anything that I feel can be taken as abusive behaviour towards me on Facebook,I wouldn't think twice about unfriending them.

[video=dailymotion]

That is true. It is individuals who cause the problems, as it is in society as a whole. What if it goes beyond just abuse to actual harm being implied against you or your loved ones? You can block people, but out of sight should not be out of mind in the case of threats. It's all too real these days. I have known people who have been threatened, and others who have been subject to the distribution of indiscreet images of themselves, as John Oliver talks about in the video. People can easily be hurt and their lives affected or even ruined by this. The internet can be an all too scary place occasionally, and the answer is not 'so don't use it'. We can only protect ourselves from the possibility of being hurt by other people by cutting off every chance of human interaction. That isn't a feasible option.

---

This is a TED talk that Monica Lewinsky gave this year that relates to this, internet harassment, shaming and bullying.

[video=youtube]

She is someone who is better placed than just about anyone else to talk about this, considering what people have put her through. There will undoubtedly be several here who will judge before and without watching this.

---

"We talk a lot about our right to freedom of expression, but we need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of expression. We all want to be heard, but let's acknowledge the difference between speaking up with intention and speaking up for attention. The Internet is the superhighway for the id, but online, showing empathy to others benefits us all and helps create a safer and better world."

 

[HoodedMonk]

Yes I've gotten threats before and couldn't sleep for days because of them. They turned out to be empty ones but **** they were frightening. I prefer not to disclose my gender online because of this.

Sexism like this happens but it's not an isolated incident. Even ALL was very very misogynist a few years back before the mods decided to start cutting back on it and kicking those who made sexist remarks with bans.

I really didn't feel welcome on ALL for a long time because of this and it was a constant source of stress and unwelcomeness to me for years that I had to put up with. Thankfully, it's changed.

It doesn't take a threat on your life to cause a stressor. It could just be a constant wearing down.

 

[Serephina]

I get what you're saying,as a parent myself,I am constantly checking what site my Son is on because I tell him not to talk to random strangers,because you just don't know who these people are that you're talking to and whereas I would know not to give out certain personal information. It is a worry,especially as so many people can access the internet.

 

[SofiasMami]

I love how people blame Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites that they don't need to sign up for. Don't like it? Don't use it. It's very simple.

Simply not signing up for Facebook or Twitter won't make abusers and bullies go away. They've been around since before social media and they are quite crafty at finding new platforms and new ways to abuse others. If someone likes using social media, why should they be forced off by an abusive person? No, I say get rid of the bullies instead. They never have anything meaningful to say anyway.

-Teresa

 

[user 108508]

I love how people blame Facebook and Twitter and other social media sites that they don't need to sign up for. Don't like it? Don't use it. It's very simple.

+1000

 

[Nicolelt]

I hate this idea of "Revenge Porn".

This is why I will never seen pics of myself to a significant other, no matter how much I trust them. They could get mad, post that stuff, and then all someone would have to do is google my name and it pop up. I would lose my job, it would completely ruin my life.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yes I've gotten threats before and couldn't sleep for days because of them. They turned out to be empty ones but **** they were frightening. I prefer not to disclose my gender online because of this.

Sexism like this happens but it's not an isolated incident. Even ALL was very very misogynist a few years back before the mods decided to start cutting back on it and kicking those who made sexist remarks with bans.

I really didn't feel welcome on ALL for a long time because of this and it was a constant source of stress and unwelcomeness to me for years that I had to put up with. Thankfully, it's changed.

It doesn't take a threat on your life to cause a stressor. It could just be a constant wearing down.

Perhaps because you surrounded yourself with people that didn't exactly care about your best interest, much less have it in mind. I don't think that disclosing gender (for anyone) necessarily targets someone online unless they place themselves amongst people who do target them because of that. I've never really had anyone target me in any way for being anything, and I sure as hell wouldn't be scared of them.

 

[HoodedMonk]

Everyone has their perspective.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I hate this idea of "Revenge Porn".

This is why I will never seen pics of myself to a significant other, no matter how much I trust them. They could get mad, post that stuff, and then all someone would have to do is google my name and it pop up. I would lose my job, it would completely ruin my life.

Wait...what??? Revenge Porn? Never heard that term before, for some reason it sounds very painful.

 

[Despicable Me]

Wait...what??? Revenge Porn? Never heard that term before, for some reason it sounds very painful.

I think she means those people who post up private videos/pics of their ex's publicly online because they are angry due to the ended relationship.

It's quite common with (pseudo) celebrities and such. In fact it's how some of them even became famous in the first place.

 

[Nicolelt]

Wait...what??? Revenge Porn? Never heard that term before, for some reason it sounds very painful.

I think she means those people who post up private videos/pics of their ex's publicly online because they are angry due to the ended relationship.

It's quite common with (pseudo) celebrities and such. In fact it's how some of them even became famous in the first place.

Yep, It was in the video. Nothing can be sacred anymore.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yes I've gotten threats before and couldn't sleep for days because of them. They turned out to be empty ones but **** they were frightening.

I don't know why anyone would want to threaten you, HM. I always see you being helpful and you're one of the sweetest people I've met on here. You seem like such a good soul and you don't deserve to be treated that way.

I really didn't feel welcome on ALL for a long time because of this and it was a constant source of stress and unwelcomeness to me for years that I had to put up with. Thankfully, it's changed.

It doesn't take a threat on your life to cause a stressor. It could just be a constant wearing down.

Yeah, I can imagine it didn't feel too friendly. I don't know what it's like to be ostracized due to gender but I do know what repeated stress feels like from being unwelcome, mostly it was just grade and middle school but it's like you said - a constant wearing down. I hope you feel differently now

 

[9006]

I hate this idea of "Revenge Porn".

This is why I will never seen pics of myself to a significant other, no matter how much I trust them. They could get mad, post that stuff, and then all someone would have to do is google my name and it pop up. I would lose my job, it would completely ruin my life.

Wait...what??? Revenge Porn? Never heard that term before, for some reason it sounds very painful.

They've actually made this a law in the UK, you can be put in jail for it.

I've also had threats, one particularly poisonous one where they said the worst possible things they could think of to say. You know what I did? Delete it and carry on with my day, lol.

I think lots of people have the wrong type of mentality when it comes to this sort of thing. The automatic response is that they're in danger an there's nowhere to turn, kinda like you're cornered in real life. When you should be thinking why are they saying these things, what are they trying to achieve, and is there really that much they can do over the internet other than send you abusive honeysuckle?

And of course the finger is always pointed at these big social media sites. God forbid if anything happens to the victim; as I've seen in the papers before where they commit suicide or self harm, it's not fault of the people sending the threats - it's social media for not doing anything about it; No wonder people feel untouchable over the net.

But like it's been mentioned before you have a choice from the very beginning, and throughout.

 

[lifestream]

Kudos to Miss Lewinsky for turning her pain into something productive. Not using social media myself, I had no idea that cyberbullying had become so prevalent. Hopefully services like Childline can be expanded to help the most susceptible users.

 

[h3donist]

Remember back at school where break times and lunchtimes were hell because there was always someone who made it their mission to make your life a misery, and the teachers stood by and did nothing to punish the bullies, rather they kept you indoors to keep you away from the bullies so in effect it was like you were being punished rather than the bully?

Well telling someone to stop using social media, to cut themselves off from friends and family, because they are a victim of bullying/harassment/abuse is the 21st century equivalent of this attitude, and it stinks. When people used to be harassed by telephone in the 70s and 80s, did people say "well it's your fault for a having a telephone - get rid of it and problem solved!" (actually I bet people did say that)

The answer is simple - punish those responsible. Properly. Hold them accountable for the abuse and treat it with the same severity as those who attack people in the street.

 

[Rainbows]

It's easy. Don't be a dick in real life. Don't be a dick on the internet.