one lonely guy
Well-known member
...they decide to unilaterally break off a friendship or relationship.
Having had a recent major spate of broken connections, here's what I've gotten:
Telephone never gets answered - caller ID I'd guess.
Messages left never get returned.
Email becomes aloof and impersonal.
Email doesn't get answered (or takes an eternity).
If I can get through, I get the aloof "yeah, been pretty busy lately".
The "yeah, let me get back to you on that" and they never do.
You phone and you can reach their sister, mother, father or others, but they themselves are ('oddly') never in.
Even had a "there's someone at the door, let me get back to you"; 17yr later still no reply; and that's actually a cousin, believe it or not; looooong sorry story on that one.
I'm sure there are others; perhaps you can add some.
The reason behind all this game-playing I think is two-fold: 1) They don't want to be put on the spot, and 2) they don't want to 'hurt' you (though I think 1 by far predominates).
I, OTOH, try to be fairly blunt and straightforward when I break off a toxic or dysfunctional friendship. This way we understand each other and can put closure to it. In one (very toxic) case I actually had to be brutally blunt, something I'm unaccustomed to - some people have either an extremely thick skin or just don't 'get it'. Anyway, game-playing is for cowardly wimps.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest, 'cause it's really been irking me!! Thanks!
Having had a recent major spate of broken connections, here's what I've gotten:
Telephone never gets answered - caller ID I'd guess.
Messages left never get returned.
Email becomes aloof and impersonal.
Email doesn't get answered (or takes an eternity).
If I can get through, I get the aloof "yeah, been pretty busy lately".
The "yeah, let me get back to you on that" and they never do.
You phone and you can reach their sister, mother, father or others, but they themselves are ('oddly') never in.
Even had a "there's someone at the door, let me get back to you"; 17yr later still no reply; and that's actually a cousin, believe it or not; looooong sorry story on that one.
I'm sure there are others; perhaps you can add some.
The reason behind all this game-playing I think is two-fold: 1) They don't want to be put on the spot, and 2) they don't want to 'hurt' you (though I think 1 by far predominates).
I, OTOH, try to be fairly blunt and straightforward when I break off a toxic or dysfunctional friendship. This way we understand each other and can put closure to it. In one (very toxic) case I actually had to be brutally blunt, something I'm unaccustomed to - some people have either an extremely thick skin or just don't 'get it'. Anyway, game-playing is for cowardly wimps.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest, 'cause it's really been irking me!! Thanks!