Pet Peeves

[user 139760]

The sound of my television set, and most other appliances with numbers on them, need to be even numbers. ALL the time.

Also, if I'm riding the subway or the metro, and the person sitting in front of me has a hair, or dust, or SOMETHING on their shoulder, I have no choice but to take it off and hope I'm not noticed, because I'll probably get my teeth popped out.
YUP. I'm that guy lol. I'm sorry.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't know if this is the right place for this because it's a true aggravation and not a minor annoyance, but I really hate how people talk about living at home / with parents as an adult in a condescending way. People have their reasons, but it's their business and it's not like you'd even listen if they tried to explain. Glad everything has been so easy for you, the answers came easy and you never had to struggle to figure things out that others take for granted, glad you always knew what you wanted to be, glad you had the right interests from the start. I really hope life beats you to your knees someday and pisses all over you, and I hope you receive the same amount of empathy you've given - none whatsoever. fresia you.

 

[DarkSelene]

You know that empathy only towards the people that show empathy to you is not really empathy, right? You finished your post acting worse than the people you're complaining about on it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You know that empathy only towards the people that show empathy to you is not really empathy, right? You finished your post acting worse than the people you're complaining about on it.

I just don't feel like being gracious to everyone though.  They aren't, and they don't think they have to, so why should I?  I don't want to.  I think they should get a taste of their own medicine.  Otherwise they'll just go on being cocky forever because nobody or nothing puts them in their place.

What inspired my post was reading some YouTube comments.  They're known to be bad, so it's my fault for looking at it but it just makes me angry.

 

[DarkSelene]

Just wanted to point out the irony of you calling people out and doing exactly the same thing at the same time.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Just wanted to point out the irony of you calling people out and doing exactly the same thing at the same time.

It doesn't matter to me though.  I'm not trying to make an intellectual case for my views.  I'm just fed up with that view, that's all.  Someone living at home or not says nothing about them as a person.  You can be a decent person, but for some reason or another things just haven't come together economically.  That doesn't mean you're inferior though.  Even if a person is financially well-off they can still have problems, like having nothing to talk about.  

And some people live at home for other reasons that aren't economical, or not only economical and there are other reasons.  All I'm saying is that I'm sick of the "living at home = loser" trope because it's not necessarily that simple.  That's it.

 

[Paraiyar]

Maybe they never had to struggle to figure it all out because they didn't overanalyze everything to death and took a risk and tried something out. Just a thought...

 

[Paraiyar]

At the end of the day there are people doing their best with the cards handed to them and their are people bitching about those people on the internet.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Maybe they never had to struggle to figure it all out because they didn't overanalyze everything to death and took a risk and tried something out. Just a thought...

If I don't analyze things enough, I'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over and I'll be right back where I started from. Maybe I'll know that they don't work, but I'll have to keep doing them because I don't have any other ideas. For most of my life I had no idea that what I was doing was incorrect. Then I'm at where I'm at now, where I know it's wrong because it doesn't work, but only have a vague idea of what does work and why. This is my whole problem. I don't know this honeysuckle intuitively. If I did, I wouldn't have these problems and wouldn't be here.

You also have to be smart and calculated about the risks you take, to minimize the risk. You can't just do something because it's risky. I get that it's "nothing ventured nothing gained" but the wrong risks, or the right ones but without preparedness, could be for nothing and cost you everything.

At the end of the day there are people doing their best with the cards handed to them and their are people bitching about those people on the internet.

I really feel like most people don't have the capacity to do much with the cards they've been handed, otherwise they would do at least a little better than how they're living because it's so bad, why wouldn't you if you could. They might be doing their best but still plateau really early, and just because someone might be more successful than me or the people in the YouTube videos that got on my nerves, doesn't mean they are actually successful. And I'm afraid that's what I am too because that's how things have gone.

 

[TheRealCallie]

How exactly do you define success?
I'm by no means rich and I'm still not sure if I could make it on my own financially without child support in the long run. I'm a single mother who gets basically no help in raising my children, I haven't dated since 2010 (my choice), and I wouldn't say I'm happy (more like content). BUT, I would say I'm very successful.
8 years ago, I was a stay at home mom for almost a decade, I hated myself, I hated leaving my house, I didn't talk to people, I barely had any friends, no job, just sat around whining about how horrible my life was, throwing myself pity party after pity party. Refusing to do anything because it wasn't my fault.
Guess what? It kind of was.... Not all of it, of course, but a good chunk of it. Because while I might not have been the one who 100% caused the situation I was in, I was responsible for choosing to stay in it. So I got off my self pitying whiny ass and did something something. I searched for jobs I didn't want, I taught myself how to mediate to relieve the anxiety, I did what I had to do, whether I wanted to or not because no one else was going to do it for me. I took risks when I had no idea how things would turn out because I realized sitting on my ass doing NOTHING for years and years would get me NOWHERE.

Sometimes, you just have to suck it up and do what you don't want to do to the path that could take you where want to be. Less talk, more action.

 

[ardour]

I don't know if this is the right place for this because it's a true aggravation and not a minor annoyance, but I really hate how people talk about living at home / with parents as an adult in a condescending way.  People have their reasons, but it's their business and it's not like you'd even listen if they tried to explain.  Glad everything has been so easy for you, the answers came easy and you never had to struggle to figure things out that others take for granted, glad you always knew what you wanted to be, glad you had the right interests from the start.  I really hope life beats you to your knees someday and pisses all over you, and I hope you receive the same amount of empathy you've given - none whatsoever.  fresia you.

This is another one of your blinkered misconceptions.
You think it must have been easy simply because they've managed to move out and have a job. As if they're all living in  comfy circumstances, everything's on track, while you're on struggle street.

I  still 'live at home'  I guess because I inherited a house,  but if it weren't for that I would have to flat like countless students and people in their 20s and 30s do. Look around you, do you think  all the people working low paying  jobs are living at home? Of course not. They're living with often obnoxious flatmates, in some cold damp place somewhere paying rent so that the landlord can retire a millionaire.

Stop "over-analysing" and think.

 

[DarkSelene]

I don't know if this is the right place for this because it's a true aggravation and not a minor annoyance, but I really hate how people talk about living at home / with parents as an adult in a condescending way.  People have their reasons, but it's their business and it's not like you'd even listen if they tried to explain.  Glad everything has been so easy for you, the answers came easy and you never had to struggle to figure things out that others take for granted, glad you always knew what you wanted to be, glad you had the right interests from the start.  I really hope life beats you to your knees someday and pisses all over you, and I hope you receive the same amount of empathy you've given - none whatsoever.  fresia you.

This is another one of your blinkered misconceptions.
You think it must have been easy simply because they've managed to move out and have a job. As if they're all living in  comfy circumstances, everything's on track, while you're on struggle street.

I  still 'live at home'  I guess because I inhereted a house,  but if it weren't for that I would have to flat like countless students and people in their 20s and 30s do. Look around you, do you think  all the people working low paying  jobs are living at home? Of course not. They're living with often obnoxious flatmates, in some cold place somewhere paying rent so that the landlord can retire a millionaire.

Stop "over-analysing" and think.

Also, a lot of people move out because they simply have to. Not because they have it easy, not because they have any clue of what they wanna do, but because they don't have the option of staying home and complaining about their parents while doing nothing.
On the other hand there are lots of people who work, have their own lives and still live with the parents as an adult simply because it's easier, cheaper, more comfortable... maybe because they wanna help the parents, maybe because they're older and need care.
There are a lot of reasons to stay home and also a lot to leave, one's history is not as easily predicted as simply "You're condescending, I'm offended so you're a terrible person and deserve crap"

Please, follow ardour's advice and think.

---

Maybe they never had to struggle to figure it all out because they didn't overanalyze everything to death and took a risk and tried something out. Just a thought...

If I don't analyze things enough, I'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over and I'll be right back where I started from.

That's exactly what you're doing by "over-analyzing" things the way you do.

 

[TheSkaFish]

This is another one of your blinkered misconceptions.
You think it must have been easy simply because they've managed to move out and have a job. As if they're all living in  comfy circumstances, everything's on track, while you're on struggle street.

I don't necessarily think that. There are some peers of mine who are living in comfy circumstances by now with things going on track, and some not so much. I know it's not necessarily easy, though I'm sure it is for some as well. It's the snarky comments of some people on YouTube that bothers me though, and it gives me a sense that they are comfy and everything's on track for them. That's what started all this, reading YouTube comments (which I don't know why I did, I know it's a bad idea and I knew what I was most likely going to find, so I guess in that sense, I'm at fault for looking for things that would set me off).

Look around you, do you think  all the people working low paying  jobs are living at home? Of course not. They're living with often obnoxious flatmates, in some cold damp place somewhere paying rent so that the landlord can retire a millionaire.

Stop "over-analysing" and think.

Yeah I think you're right, a lot more people are like this than not. I feel that they are most likely near-perpetually, near-hopelessly screwed. Working alone doesn't do it, because people in bad jobs work hard but it doesn't seem to change much. I really don't know how anyone pulls themselves out of that situation anymore unless they can handle STEM careers. And even if you can, it would be hard to get the education in it if you don't already have it.

---

Also, a lot of people move out because they simply have to. Not because they have it easy, not because they have any clue of what they wanna do, but because they don't have the option of staying home and complaining about their parents while doing nothing.
On the other hand there are lots of people who work, have their own lives and still live with the parents as an adult simply because it's easier, cheaper, more comfortable... maybe because they wanna help the parents, maybe because they're older and need care.
There are a lot of reasons to stay home and also a lot to leave, one's history is not as easily predicted as simply "You're condescending, I'm offended so you're a terrible person and deserve crap"

Please, follow ardour's advice and think.

I think a little context would help explain my frustration. I wrote this after watching a couple documentaries on YouTube about people who struggle romantically, and some of them still lived at home. And of course, the comments were full of things that basically said "ha ha, he lives at home, what a loser". I got fed up with it. Like I said to Ardour, it's the snarky comments that make me feel like they've always had everything figured out and are comfy and feel like they can laugh at someone else's expense. If they aren't comfortable and don't have it figured out then I don't know what they think they have to be snarky about if they aren't doing well either (and if they are doing well, they should keep it to themselves instead of condescending and gloating). To me there's no difference between levels if you're both struggling. It's a pet peeve of mine that there is this cultural trope that anyone, especially a guy, who lives at home is written off as a loser as if their character, hopes and dreams, intentions, and all that counts for nothing if they can't hit some arbitrary marker or status symbol at around the same time most people do. It just seems like a shallow thing to judge someone for. Just because something is easy for some people doesn't mean it's easy for everyone.

 

[ardour]

I think a little context would help explain my frustration.  I wrote this after watching a couple documentaries on YouTube about people who struggle romantically, and some of them still lived at home.  And of course, the comments were full of things that basically said "ha ha, he lives at home, what a loser".  I got fed up with it.  Like I said to Ardour, it's the snarky comments that make me feel like they've always had everything figured out and are comfy and feel like they can laugh at someone else's expense.  If they aren't comfortable and don't have it figured out then I don't know what they think they have to be snarky about if they aren't doing well either (and if they are doing well, they should keep it to themselves instead of condescending and gloating).  To me there's no difference between levels if you're both struggling.  It's a pet peeve of mine that there is this cultural trope that anyone, especially a guy, who lives at home is written off as a loser as if their character, hopes and dreams, intentions, and all that counts for nothing if they can't hit some arbitrary marker or status symbol at around the same time most people do.  It just seems like a shallow thing to judge someone for.  Just because something is easy for some people doesn't mean it's easy for everyone.

Fine. Do what you normally do and make your situation seem more complex than it is rather than take a few steps to change it. It won't be society's fault. But then that's been pointed out many times.

Put it this way, does the idea of being 35 year old unemployed man sound appealing? How's it going to appear once you start looking older.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You've been on this forum for 3.5 years. You won't "wind up back where you started" because you haven't gone anywhere. What we have here, is a failure to launch. In another 3.5 years, you're likely to still be in the same place in life because you're always excusing yourself by saying you're trying to "figure things out." And living at home aside, you're choosing to stay in your current situation. It's a choice that you're making. Until you get a job and start contributing to society, you're always going to have the feelings/attitude you have. You're 30+ years old and you've been listening to us all here on the forum, tell you the same honeysuckle for the past 3.5 years and haven't taken anything we've said to heart. That's why you don't really see anyone sympathizing much with you. Stop blaming your parents, society, bad boys and successful people for your own failure to act like an adult.
I mean seriously - 3.5 years here and you're still harping on the same honeysuckle. Go get a job, relieve some of the financial burden on your parents and start taking responsibility for yourself.
Live at home until you're 80 for all anyone cares, just DO something. Ugh.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Fine. Do what you normally do and make your situation seem more complex than it is rather than take a few steps to change it.  It won't be society's fault. But then that's been pointed out many times.  

Put it this way, does the idea of being 35 year old unemployed man sound appealing?  How's it going to appear once you start looking older.

No, it doesn't sound appealing.  But that's the thing, 99% of the time, it doesn't matter what steps i take, I feel like anything I could do can't change my situation that much.

I do feel like a lot of what's wrong is society's fault though, it's shallow and only values a person based on status.  But, there is no way to take it to task or change it either.

The way I see it, I have only two paths I can find, and both are bad - just for slightly different reasons.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You've been on this forum for 3.5 years. You won't "wind up back where you started" because you haven't gone anywhere. What we have here, is a failure to launch. In another 3.5 years, you're likely to still be in the same place in life because you're always excusing yourself by saying you're trying to "figure things out." And living at home aside, you're choosing to stay in your current situation. It's a choice that you're making. Until you get a job and start contributing to society, you're always going to have the feelings/attitude you have. You're 30+ years old and you've been listening to us all here on the forum, tell you the same honeysuckle for the past 3.5 years and haven't taken anything we've said to heart. That's why you don't really see anyone sympathizing much with you. Stop blaming your parents, society, bad boys and successful people for your own failure to act like an adult.
I mean seriously - 3.5 years here and you're still harping on the same honeysuckle. Go get a job, relieve some of the financial burden on your parents and start taking responsibility for yourself.
Live at home until you're 80 for all anyone cares, just DO something.  Ugh.

Most people who launch still don't ever get anywhere.  It seems like some people get somewhere, but others, most even, all their hard work and responsibility doesn't matter. Most people stay relatively stuck their entire lives in terms of money and possessions, abilities, romantically, and so on.  Most people have told me to resign myself to this, which is why I haven't been too keen on listening.  

I really don't think getting a job or moving out would change much, not for the better at least.  At best it would be a horizontal shift.  Same problems, slightly different reasons.  

---

The point of it all is that people's condescending attitudes get on my nerves. The "bootstraps" narrative is my pet peeve, when a lot of people who shout it all day don't seem to be doing that great themselves. I don't think it's that simple.  I watched some YouTube clips, some comments made me mad. I vented about it.  My original post is a week old, it doesn't matter anymore.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Not living with your mommy and daddy is NEVER a horizontal shift.

I get to walk around naked drinking beer.

It might be cheap beer cuz I pay all the bills.

But naked beer time is good.

 

[user 139760]

Not living with your mommy and daddy is NEVER a horizontal shift.

I get to walk around naked drinking beer.

It might be cheap beer cuz I pay all the bills.

But naked beer time is good.

****. I'm stuck at work, but some naked beer time would hit the spot.

**** YOU!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Most people who launch still don't ever get anywhere.  It seems like some people get somewhere, but others, most even, all their hard work and responsibility doesn't matter. 

So it's better to have none?  lol