I look at my father, and I wonder what the hell went wrong with me. Why didn't I inherit his strength? Why was I unable to learn from the example he set with his confidence and dedication? How did my apple fall so far from the tree?
My life is governed by my fears, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being afraid of trying new things, afraid of putting myself out there, of coming out of my shell. I'm tired of being afraid of making a fool of myself once in a while. I find my lack of confidence and self-esteem appalling, and I hate myself a little more each day for it.
It didn't used to be this way. When I was a kid I couldn't have cared less about making a fool of myself. I hadn't yet built a shell in which to hide, and trying new things wasn't a concern for me at all. It was just me and my imagination, and everyone and everything else could've gone and pounded sand for all I cared.
I don't know what changed for me. I don't know where or when I deviated from the path upon which I started out, but I can't go on like this. Something has to give. Somehow I have to right the ship before it's too late. I cannot be stuck this way for the rest of my life.
I've spent a LOT of time thinking about it, and I have decided the best way for me to pull out of this downward spiral is to try and grow some confidence. This lack of confidence, of course, is at the root of my cowardice and self-esteem woes. But how does one go about growing confidence? Can it actually be done? Has anyone here overcome self-confidence issues? If so, how the hell did you do it?
I have tried to do this on my own, and have thus far failed miserably, so now I'm seeking some help. I've only been a member here for a couple of months, but in that short time I have found the people in the ALL community to be very caring and helpful, and above all encouraging, and I can think of no better place to begin my quest for confidence than right here.
Thanks for reading, and allowing me to vent a little. Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.
My life is governed by my fears, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being afraid of trying new things, afraid of putting myself out there, of coming out of my shell. I'm tired of being afraid of making a fool of myself once in a while. I find my lack of confidence and self-esteem appalling, and I hate myself a little more each day for it.
It didn't used to be this way. When I was a kid I couldn't have cared less about making a fool of myself. I hadn't yet built a shell in which to hide, and trying new things wasn't a concern for me at all. It was just me and my imagination, and everyone and everything else could've gone and pounded sand for all I cared.
I don't know what changed for me. I don't know where or when I deviated from the path upon which I started out, but I can't go on like this. Something has to give. Somehow I have to right the ship before it's too late. I cannot be stuck this way for the rest of my life.
I've spent a LOT of time thinking about it, and I have decided the best way for me to pull out of this downward spiral is to try and grow some confidence. This lack of confidence, of course, is at the root of my cowardice and self-esteem woes. But how does one go about growing confidence? Can it actually be done? Has anyone here overcome self-confidence issues? If so, how the hell did you do it?
I have tried to do this on my own, and have thus far failed miserably, so now I'm seeking some help. I've only been a member here for a couple of months, but in that short time I have found the people in the ALL community to be very caring and helpful, and above all encouraging, and I can think of no better place to begin my quest for confidence than right here.
Thanks for reading, and allowing me to vent a little. Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.