Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

Does tickling your butt make you pee?

This is questions for the men thread so I have to plead the 5th

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Hahahahah nah I'm not Irish, there is Celtic blood in my family but it's more Scottish. I'm a Londoner born n bred, I lived in Dublin on and off for most of my adult life.

You’re so lucky, I was about to say I love you first there and then Random Guyyyyyyy

 

[Finished]

This is questions for the men thread so I have to plead the 5th

That was a question for the guys. Do you think everything is about you? Ha! ha!

 

[ewomack]

It matters not to me who says it first I just notice most men say it first and wondered why… is it because they feel it first, try to manipulate with it? Just want to make the first move to transition the “dating stage” into the “relationship stage” idk…. Strange things pop into this wonderful brain of mine

Ah, okay. Hm. I've never had a concept of the man saying it first. There is a stereotype, or there used to be, that women will only sleep with a guy who "loves them." So, some guys being desperate for nookie wookie, say it to get what they really want. As I said before, more than one guy has admitted to me that they did this to get a woman into bed. Not to continue down a cynical path, but it can also be used as a means for a man to assert control or authority over a relationship. Again, there is, or was, a stereotype that once a woman hears "I love you" from a man, then the woman will become putty in the man's hands. Some men think women are "lovey dovey" zombies and will turn into emotional puddles when hearing such things. Such men can then say, especially when proliferating double-standards, "but I told you I loved you," to try and get away with things. I've seen men (and women, too) get away with such things. So it definitely gets used for emotional manipulation as well. Otherwise, the man saying it first may just go along with the tradition of the man asking the woman out first and the man being "in charge." Those are just my theories, based mostly on what I've seen or been told from others. I really don't know. In any case, a man can say it first and really mean it. I've tried to be that person, with pretty mixed results. But one has to be careful, because there are a lot of people out there who are into things purely for themselves and their own gratification and they will do or say anything to get what they want.

 

[ewomack]

He’s enjoys arguing online It has nothing to do with how much ya write

That's where I was going after his last post, so thanks for helping to push me there. I honestly didn't know whether I should feel sorry for him or not. I've seriously known someone who was intimidated by lots of words and they would lash out at paragraphs like he did. This person was offended by the mere presence of thick books on my shelves. So I was trying to be careful and I never want to trigger anyone unknowingly. Others seem to take him seriously, so that's where my confusion and caution came in. In any case, I will ignore his future posts. I hope he finds something better to do. I actually do feel a little sorry for him.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That was a question for the guys. Do you think everything is about you? Ha! ha!

Stop pretending… anything you say is obviously about me Finished darling

 

[M_also_lonely]

Right! You men of mischief... want a light hearted question...?

I'll set the scene... it's 7pm, 5th date and she's cooked! You know... at her place But the food is disgusting... like it's all bad, flavours and textures are wayyy off. Only thing you enjoy is the wine... what would you do?...

If I were in love, it would not bother me. I would be honest, but not in a complaining tone. Definitely wouldn't feel bothered and would value her efforts.
But that's not the case anymore.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Right, my mission to get questions for the men on as many pages as questions for the women... is a hard road... equality... am I right?...

My next question is... Men, be honest... how comes men often say "I love you" first? Have you always meant it when you said it? Do men just say it? Is it a manipulation technique? Aren't women supposed to be the hopeless romantics lol but every couple I know men have said it first, or is it the hidden alpha, has to make his move first or appears ... less masculine? Or maybe its the sex talking who knows? Oh right, men should know.... so... lets hear it lads!

With most men it's genuine, albeit, perhaps misconstrued by our typical inability to correlate the contents of our emotions.
That's why men saying "I love you" after sex is a trope in romantic comedies, it's meant to be funny because a man in ecstasy cannot correlate his emotional contents UNLESS he's taken it upon himself to learn how to do so. Men that do, can usually tell the difference between love and lust.

This is a struggle for us in part because of how we're raised, and in part because of societies stigmatization of what masculinity should and should not be.
What it really comes down to is that men and women simply just have different definitions of what love is, and as such, different perspectives of what is and is not masculine and feminine for both men and women.

It *can* be used manipulatively, sure. That's essentially what makes a Chad a Chad, but women either don't know that, or don't care enough for that to be a detouring factor when they find that out, often when asked directly, they tend to dodge around the question anxiously, which, I don't realize if they know this or not, but that's kind of like pleading "no contest" in court.

I don't really take too much of sociology that seriously, to me it's not much different than political science, just a bunch of wishywashy data points that sway this way and that over the course of time according to situations. Unlike, you know, hard sciences like chemistry, which state that it doesn't matter if it's 300 years ago or 300 years from now, ice is still going to be frozen water.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Ah, okay. Hm. I've never had a concept of the man saying it first. There is a stereotype, or there used to be, that women will only sleep with a guy who "loves them." So, some guys being desperate for nookie wookie, say it to get what they really want. As I said before, more than one guy has admitted to me that they did this to get a woman into bed. Not to continue down a cynical path, but it can also be used as a means for a man to assert control or authority over a relationship. Again, there is, or was, a stereotype that once a woman hears "I love you" from a man, then the woman will become putty in the man's hands. Some men think women are "lovey dovey" zombies and will turn into emotional puddles when hearing such things. Such men can then say, especially when proliferating double-standards, "but I told you I loved you," to try and get away with things. I've seen men (and women, too) get away with such things. So it definitely gets used for emotional manipulation as well. Otherwise, the man saying it first may just go along with the tradition of the man asking the woman out first and the man being "in charge." Those are just my theories, based mostly on what I've seen or been told from others. I really don't know. In any case, a man can say it first and really mean it. I've tried to be that person, with pretty mixed results. But one has to be careful, because there are a lot of people out there who are into things purely for themselves and their own gratification and they will do or say anything to get what they want.

I'm trying to be mature but "nookie wookie" was tooo much for me lool OMG the but I told you I love you lineeee how could I forget about that! Wow impressed with all of your theories, I give you a solid A* for all your answers.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

If I were in love, it would not bother me. I would be honest, but not in a complaining tone. Definitely wouldn't feel bothered and would value her efforts.
But that's not the case anymore.

Your honesty is refreshing I like that you wouldn't force feed yourself that mess lol

 

[CenotaphGirl]

With most men it's genuine, albeit, perhaps misconstrued by our typical inability to correlate the contents of our emotions.
That's why men saying "I love you" after sex is a trope in romantic comedies, it's meant to be funny because a man in ecstasy cannot correlate his emotional contents UNLESS he's taken it upon himself to learn how to do so. Men that do, can usually tell the difference between love and lust.

This is a struggle for us in part because of how we're raised, and in part because of societies stigmatization of what masculinity should and should not be.
What it really comes down to is that men and women simply just have different definitions of what love is, and as such, different perspectives of what is and is not masculine and feminine for both men and women.

It *can* be used manipulatively, sure. That's essentially what makes a Chad a Chad, but women either don't know that, or don't care enough for that to be a detouring factor when they find that out, often when asked directly, they tend to dodge around the question anxiously, which, I don't realize if they know this or not, but that's kind of like pleading "no contest" in court.

I don't really take too much of sociology that seriously, to me it's not much different than political science, just a bunch of wishywashy data points that sway this way and that over the course of time according to situations. Unlike, you know, hard sciences like chemistry, which state that it doesn't matter if it's 300 years ago or 300 years from now, ice is still going to be frozen water.

This is interesting, so what about men that say they love me after maybe a month of knowing me? Are they just insane ?

 

[Willym]

5th date , at night , at her place and I enjoy only wine.
Hhmmm.
I would tell her I'm in love with her, and that food sucks, then I would order pizza and go watch TV with her while cuddling. XD

Well. I'd hug her and tell her I'll cook the next meal. Never insult good intentions. Honestly, been there, ate that.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

This is interesting, so what about men that say they love me after maybe a month of knowing me? Are they just insane ?

No, they're high on their dopamine and serotonin receptors, as well as hormones in the brain and unable to correlate the difference between the honeymoon phase (the beginning of a relationship) and the actual relationship, after all of the brain chemistry wears back down to normal levels. Women also experience this, and while they have a potential higher chance to understand what it is and why it is that way, there are just as many oblivious women to this as their are men. You cannot know something that you don't know, until you've encountered that information and learning experience.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

No, they're high on their dopamine and serotonin receptors, as well as hormones in the brain and unable to correlate the difference between the honeymoon phase (the beginning of a relationship) and the actual relationship, after all of the brain chemistry wears back down to normal levels. Women also experience this, and while they have a potential higher chance to understand what it is and why it is that way, there are just as many oblivious women to this as their are men. You cannot know something that you don't know, until you've encountered that information and learning experience.

Hmm but what if theres no relationship like literally just met me a month ago I need to understand this

 

[Adamridge79]

And this thread has paused for almost a whole day. That's new

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Hmm but what if theres no relationship like literally just met me a month ago I need to understand this

I'm stumped.
Anyway, here's the source info article on this stuff:
https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm stumped.
Anyway, here's the source info article on this stuff:
https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

whatt i’ve fond something you dont know the answer toooo I think I deserve a pat on the back

 

[ardour]

It's hard for me to imagine any outcome from a verbal expression other than women being turned off. Particularly in the country I'm from. That's quite unmasculine behaviour. Maybe in other cultures where women are dependent on men, such a declaration would be important as a sign of commitment. But in west, generally? I wouldn't say so. Not unless you're married or about to be. It has potential to come across as lame or insincere. At least that's what I"d be worried about.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

whatt i’ve fond something you dont know the answer toooo I think I deserve a pat on the back

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well you guys are all a little too squeaky clean and non judgemental to me… so im gonna turn up the heat…

Would you judge a woman that has some really embarrassing videos out there? Like she likes you, wants to be with you but she has got some videos on the internet that were intimate and shouldn't have been shared in all honesty… would you be able to look past that or would you just not wanna be with her due to your.. pride? Shame? Disgust?

I always wondered lolz