Rant - Supporting my brother

[CenotaphGirl]

Most people know I support my brother with his various needs as he struggles to read/write and with thought processes? (not sure if theres an official term for that)
He can do things others find strange like he puts me as his display picture for almost everything he uses and then gets upset when people make comments about how I look.
It annoys the life out of me that he feels the need to do this but he's always done it and will not stop. People also find it strange and think a brother shouldn't be doing that to which I agree.
He constantly follows me around, if I go to the toilet he'll sit outside the door and describe various flags from around the world to me.

I have my own place but he also turns up there, I have a gaming room for him and he spends a lot of time in there before coming to find me.
My brother is turning 30 this year, it's exciting but also scary, I feel like I dont help him become independent, he told me he really wants a girl to settle down with,
So we've been on the hunt for a perfect woman, unlike some guys on here my brother deffo has success with the ladies however, its seems very money based.
One girl hurt his feelings by putting the items he got for her on snapchat and saying "thats all I got he's so stingy", no care what so ever if he saw that crap.
Anyway, he recently slept with a girl I consider good for only sleeping with, but she spins him lines about loving him and here we go again he thinks he is in love with someone who just wants to use him.
I guess I dont know where the rainbow stops? Where the tough love needs to begin? He's nearly 30 surely I cant support him forever, surely he needs to grow up?
It's difficult because my friends tell me I act like without me he'd die but I genuinely believe thats not far from the truth...

 

[Murakami_1]

Hi, I'm not sure what to say.... but I give my support.
It sounds tough, especially because you are the eldest? I'm making an assumption but yeah it does sound tough. Hopefully he finds someone who sees how beautiful he is and hopefully gets more dependant on himself.
You sound like a good sister, I just hope you dont get stressed too much.

Maybe try losing the dependence in steps? Try to draw some boundaries though, explain you have your own life. Oh well I hope you both find some peace and love.

I'm sorry to hear

 

[Unsigned]

Just a question here.
You say your brother struggles with reading and writing?
But girls date him for money?
How can he have a job/money if he struggles with reading and writing, and has a less than optimal "thought process" as you stated?

He's nearly 30 surely I cant support him forever, surely he needs to grow up?

Honestly I have not been in a similar situation, but all I can say is you always have to put yourself first.
It is not your responsibility to take care of family members except for a spouse and children.
So yeah, I would say to give him the heave-ho.
If my sister needed help, she would have to go to someone else.
And not just because we are estranged.
Even if we were close I would not give her anything more than bare minimum support.

 

[Murakami_1]

Just a question here.
You say your brother struggles with reading and writing?
But girls date him for money?
How can he have a job/money if he struggles with reading and writing, and has a less than optimal "thought process" as you stated?



Honestly I have not been in a similar situation, but all I can say is you always have to put yourself first.
It is not your responsibility to take care of family members except for a spouse and children.
So yeah, I would say to give him the heave-ho.
If my sister needed help, she would have to go to someone else.
And not just because we are estranged.
Even if we were close I would not give her anything more than bare minimum support.

As harsh as it might sound, we do live for ourselves.... at the end of the day we wake up with ourselves (as Billy joel says)

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Are you more upset with your brother, or are you more upset at the women your brother takes to?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Hi, I'm not sure what to say.... but I give my support.
It sounds tough, especially because you are the eldest? I'm making an assumption but yeah it does sound tough. Hopefully he finds someone who sees how beautiful he is and hopefully gets more dependant on himself.
You sound like a good sister, I just hope you dont get stressed too much.

Maybe try losing the dependence in steps? Try to draw some boundaries though, explain you have your own life. Oh well I hope you both find some peace and love.

I'm sorry to hear

Honestly I am way younger than my brother but I always have to be his big sister in practice. He looks after me in many ways too but the amount I do for him is more than I can take. I decided I am not talking to him and it's only been some hours and he has decided to send me a voice note explaining to me that I should not ignore him because he is a human.

Just a question here.
You say your brother struggles with reading and writing?
But girls date him for money?
How can he have a job/money if he struggles with reading and writing, and has a less than optimal "thought process" as you stated?



Honestly I have not been in a similar situation, but all I can say is you always have to put yourself first.
It is not your responsibility to take care of family members except for a spouse and children.
So yeah, I would say to give him the heave-ho.
If my sister needed help, she would have to go to someone else.
And not just because we are estranged.
Even if we were close I would not give her anything more than bare minimum support.

My brother works despite not having to, he likes to work and works as Security and a personal trainer, he's huge.
We all have a decent lifestyle due to my father, because he has no real concept of what money is he literally gives his "friends" thousands of pounds to eat bugs at parties. To give you some perspective here.

I wish I could stop caring and be cold but I am also worried that he'll make huge mistakes the biggest mistake he's made has cost him a lot of money, and get him held up by knife point, so he just makes bad choices.

Are you more upset with your brother, or are you more upset at the women your brother takes to?

I am mad at him, he keeps falling in love with women that are just straight up users, and thinking because someone says I am your friend, thats factual.

 

[Unsigned]

My brother works despite not having to, he likes to work and works as Security and a personal trainer, he's huge.
We all have a decent lifestyle due to my father, because he has no real concept of what money is he literally gives his "friends" thousands of pounds to eat bugs at parties. To give you some perspective here.

Wow. He sounds like a real life "Lenny" from "Of Mice and Men".
Glad your father did so well.
God Bless.

I wish I could stop caring and be cold but I am also worried that he'll make huge mistakes the biggest mistake he's made has cost him a lot of money, and get him held up by knife point, so he just makes bad choices.

You don't have to stop caring. Just don't take it upon yourself to be 100% responsible for your brother.
I remember you said you wanted to live in the US. Would you bring him with you if you decide to go?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Wow. He sounds like a real life "Lenny" from "Of Mice and Men".
Glad your father did so well.
God Bless.


You don't have to stop caring. Just don't take it upon yourself to be 100% responsible for your brother.
I remember you said you wanted to live in the US. Would you bring him with you if you decide to go?

He'd deffo follow me, my brother and me are pretty much a package deal, he follows me everywhere. even to the bloody toilet. It's beyond a joke, I mean I am sensitive about my brother, but in all honesty the way he is, is not his fault, he's never been diagnosed with anything other than dyslexia but if you met him you'd think theres something else there, dont know if it's autism, but theres something, he also has a crazy memory, he cant remember what you just said to him but he can remember something from when I was 3.

Maybe thats the issue, I just keep it all on my shoulders, I used to share this with my older sister (the oldest) but she had a huge fight with me and my brother took my side so refuses to talk to her, because I dont talk to her and it's all so messy.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I am mad at him, he keeps falling in love with women that are just straight up users, and thinking because someone says I am your friend, thats factual.

That is because by statistical averages that's significantly more likely to happen rather than not. He's just "guy that doesn't get it," is all. As opposed to the alternative which is "guy who just gets it." But really, I mean, have you thought about the consequences for "guy who just gets it?" Do you really want that for him? By 30, I understand why it's worrisome and concerning, as well as frustrating, that all makes perfect sense to me. My younger sister is the same age and is "girl who doesn't get it." It's difficult, because we have good intentions, we want the best for the people that we love and we want them to be successful. But at what cost to themselves? The stance and situation I've had to take with my sister is: We just want separate things in life. We have different approaches, different standards, different goals, and so on. For as alike as we are, we're also equally as differential. I have to militantly keep it that way, because if I become too involved we end up absolutely destroying each other while fighting. I've learned that I have to let her go and make her own mistakes, but simultaneously position myself to be protected from her mistakes snowballing onto me.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That is because by statistical averages that's significantly more likely to happen rather than not. He's just "guy that doesn't get it," is all. As opposed to the alternative which is "guy who just gets it." But really, I mean, have you thought about the consequences for "guy who just gets it?" Do you really want that for him? By 30, I understand why it's worrisome and concerning, as well as frustrating, that all makes perfect sense to me. My younger sister is the same age and is "girl who doesn't get it." It's difficult, because we have good intentions, we want the best for the people that we love and we want them to be successful. But at what cost to themselves? The stance and situation I've had to take with my sister is: We just want separate things in life. We have different approaches, different standards, different goals, and so on. For as alike as we are, we're also equally as differential. I have to militantly keep it that way, because if I become too involved we end up absolutely destroying each other while fighting. I've learned that I have to let her go and make her own mistakes, but simultaneously position myself to be protected from her mistakes snowballing onto me.

Literally the last thing my dad said to me before he passed was to make sure I look after him. The last thing, and I was mad deep down, 1 he's a man 2 I am younger! He should be looking after me and it's like it's always placed on me to guide him the right way, to read contracts before he signs them, to point out who a lady of the night is and who a virgin church girl is as he obviously cant tell the difference. Idk, it's tough you know.

I feel like if I was to just leave my brother he would really not be able to take it, I did for 6 weeks modelling in NY and when I came back my parents were taking him to a police station to write statements because he let some idiot have access to a bank account and cause havoc.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Literally the last thing my dad said to me before he passed was to make sure I look after him. The last thing, and I was mad deep down, 1 he's a man 2 I am younger! He should be looking after me and it's like it's always placed on me to guide him the right way, to read contracts before he signs them, to point out who a lady of the night is and who a virgin church girl is as he obviously cant tell the difference. Idk, it's tough you know.

I feel like if I was to just leave my brother he would really not be able to take it, I did for 6 weeks modelling in NY and when I came back my parents were taking him to a police station to write statements because he let some idiot have access to a bank account and cause havoc.

I understand covert contracts and communication through inference perfectly. However, I understand it through happenstance. Most antiquarian information is just recorded that way, and so over the last couple of decades I've had to learn how to read what I was reading, while I was reading it. Alchemy for example, was written in the way that it was because the subject matter of the writers were more direct and blatant about it, they would've been executed.

I just prefer not to do that when communicating with people modernly. I understand the game, I just don't like the game. I'm not a social person, so it's quite exhausting to me. I'd rather be reading alchemical texts.

I spent 7 or 8 hours talking to this beautiful girl that works for me yesterday, for example. Were I less moral than I am regarding relationships I could throw a wrench in between her relationship, but that's not me. I'm not like that. Because the tradeoff is going to be that it's more trouble and effort than it's really worth to me. So 7 or 8 hours I'm talking to this girl, and I get home and was more tired than as if I just 7 or 8 hours of actual physical work around the store.

So sometimes, even though I can read contracts and communicate in that way, I'll just throw the opportunity on purpose by acting like I have no idea wtf. Worst that happens is: Their ego can't handle it, so then they just assume I'm either gay or stupid. Okay, I can work with that. I don't really give a honeysuckle about what other people think of me when it comes to inference, I think in part because I'm just good at risk assessment analysis, and I care more about the punchline.

So really, what happens with me is:
Women hate me for the exact same reason they love me.

And I just stay out of it because more often times than not they haven't sorted themselves out yet. I don't typically have to, because they rarely put me in the position to where I have to, but in the event that I have to, I will actually disclose that I'm aware that they haven't sorted themselves out yet and aren't actually ready yet. Thankfully, that rarely happens.

I prefer a peaceful co-existence.
It's just a more efficient utilization of my energy that way.
I'm kind of a walking embodiment of chaotic paradoxes as it is, so I find it easier to sort that out without extra pressing of external influences.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I understand covert contracts and communication through inference perfectly. However, I understand it through happenstance. Most antiquarian information is just recorded that way, and so over the last couple of decades I've had to learn how to read what I was reading, while I was reading it. Alchemy for example, was written in the way that it was because the subject matter of the writers were more direct and blatant about it, they would've been executed.

I just prefer not to do that when communicating with people modernly. I understand the game, I just don't like the game. I'm not a social person, so it's quite exhausting to me. I'd rather be reading alchemical texts.

I spent 7 or 8 hours talking to this beautiful girl that works for me yesterday, for example. Were I less moral than I am regarding relationships I could throw a wrench in between her relationship, but that's not me. I'm not like that. Because the tradeoff is going to be that it's more trouble and effort than it's really worth to me. So 7 or 8 hours I'm talking to this girl, and I get home and was more tired than as if I just 7 or 8 hours of actual physical work around the store.

So sometimes, even though I can read contracts and communicate in that way, I'll just throw the opportunity on purpose by acting like I have no idea wtf. Worst that happens is: Their ego can't handle it, so then they just assume I'm either gay or stupid. Okay, I can work with that. I don't really give a honeysuckle about what other people think of me when it comes to inference, I think in part because I'm just good at risk assessment analysis, and I care more about the punchline.

So really, what happens with me is:
Women hate me for the exact same reason they love me.

And I just stay out of it because more often times than not they haven't sorted themselves out yet. I don't typically have to, because they rarely put me in the position to where I have to, but in the event that I have to, I will actually disclose that I'm aware that they haven't sorted themselves out yet and aren't actually ready yet. Thankfully, that rarely happens.

I prefer a peaceful co-existence.
It's just a more efficient utilization of my energy that way.
I'm kind of a walking embodiment of chaotic paradoxes as it is, so I find it easier to sort that out without extra pressing of external influences.

Oh Apexie I think this planet is too complicated for me lol I just want the person I care about to stop wasting money on these slutty girls… but now im apparently forcing him to like who i think he should like.

Men have no choice but to like every woman its your programming so simply if a man doesn't like me he’s obviously gay, simple maths i joke but it pays to think this way no way theres any benefit to internalising things.

Would you think bad of yourself if you was a “home wrecker”

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Oh Apexie I think this planet is too complicated for me lol I just want the person I care about to stop wasting money on these slutty girls… but now im apparently forcing him to like who i think he should like.

He'll get over it. You might have to just forwardly tell them that you have his best interest in mind. That can sometimes be confusing, especially if you have a history of fighting with your siblings. For example, my sister once tried to hook me up with a girl that she thought I'd want based on the last girl I was with. It was an honest good intention, bbbuutttt she didn't realize that I'd left the last girl I was with for a reason. I mean she knew why, but she didn't see how I saw that the two of them were a bit too similar. She's starting to understand what I understand about love and relationships now, in part of her own consequences of being in her last relationship with her baby daddy. Again, I stay out of it. The point is: Sometimes with people, they have to have things get bad enough for themselves before they start trying to make things actually better for themselves. And yeah, it's challenging and taxing. Kinda like trying to watch a really long, really boring movie. Or like reading anything I write.

Men have no choice but to like every woman its your programming so simply if a man doesn't like me he’s obviously gay, simple maths i joke but it pays to think this way no way theres any benefit to internalising things.

You're young, so that's funny. Not everybody can internalize things. I'm an antisocial introverted creative, so I have the natural aptitude for it. It works in my favor to do so. If I were more socially stimulated and externally driven, obviously that wouldn't work. So really, all I'm doing is just leaning into my strengths to maximize the benefits thereof for myself, which is kind of what I suggest anybody to do, really. I mean yes, you do have to stretch your comfort zone a bit, because that's how learning is done, but I'm old, I did that already when I was younger.

Would you think bad of yourself if you was a “home wrecker”

It depends on how it plays out.
I never make the first move in that situation, specifically for that reason.
It's not something I typically pursue though. More like, if a woman pushes into it with that first move, well, then I guess I'm in that situation.

If that happens, I don't bring it up directly.
The reason I don't bring it up directly is because I've tested it both ways with different women.

When I did bring it up directly and it did stop, it did later turn into a relationship after they split up. But it also became that now I'm the guy that she always comes back to after we've long been split up. And I'm not cut out for that. Like I want her out of my life. Like I've actually had to have the police come and forcefully remove her from my home and give her a trespassing warrant.

Whereas when I didn't bring it up with another woman, I did at least forwardly tell her in the beginning that I'm in no position for a relationship with my life the way that it is. I wasn't all that comfortable with it, but I wasn't deterred, either. I was however, honest on my end of it, so that she understood who and what she was getting involved with. She really kept pushing it though. Like I think that she wanted to get caught. So then when she did, they split up, she moved in with a friend, we didn't talk for a while, while she began to figure out how to put her life back together. She never directly told me that she realized I wasn't a good long term option, but I think that's what was implied by the gradual lack of communication. I'm not that bothered by that, because I told her myself I wasn't in a position to be able to be like that. Weirdly, she thanked me, actually. Which I took to mean that it could've just been any guy, really, and I just happened to be that guy. So in a way, it had nothing to do with me at all, and I know that. THAT PART, that it had nothing to do with me at all and could've been any guy, that bothered me a bit. But I think because up until that point, I knew that happened sometimes with people, but I'd never actually experienced that happening before to me.

The weird thing is, the later was actually easier for me to get over than the former.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think the first thing you should do is see if there's any way to get him re-diagnosed, if it hasn't been done recently. Get multiple professional opinions if you think there's more going on with him than just dyslexia. I've heard of people that have dyslexia too, but they are able to function on their own. I agree that it does sound like your brother has something more going on than that.

Judging only on what you've said, I don't think he sounds like he will ever be able to live on his own, unless he meets the right woman who will care for him, and who also understands that she'll have to be the one running the ship. Honestly, and I don't mean to be insensitive, I feel like the position he's in - born to wealth, and with a muscular body - is the best position someone with this condition could be in, because he'd be completely up the creek with women, money, and the world in general without those things. The world is hard enough WITHOUT having a disability. All you need to do is not have money, and not be good at and/or not interested in the things that make money, and just like that, you're in serious trouble, without even being a bad person, you're just not the kind of person the world cares about because it can't use you. That's why I hate this world, actually. It's evil. The older I get the more I realize that this world is not very good at all, not nearly as good as I grew up believing it was. In fact, it's gotten even worse than it used to be, in my opinion. We were headed in the right direction, then we turned around and started going backwards - but I digress.

Anyway, I also agree with the idea that these women you've described, and his "friends", are just exploiting him, and he should learn not to give these people money or believe them when they try to trick him like that.

What about your mother? Does she help him in any way? What does she think about the situation?

All in all, I see your point about it being frustrating to take care of him - especially the privacy issues and just wanting your own personal space to live your own life. At the same time, I also see how without you, he would be in a world of hurt. Most people would probably just leave him to the wolves. It's good he has you looking out for him, and it's a credit to you for doing it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

My brother works despite not having to, he likes to work and works as Security and a personal trainer, he's huge.

On a separate note, I have to say this must be nice - to work on something without worrying about money, to pick a career solely based on interest, and to be able to just focus on getting good at your craft, just because you're interested in it. And, to be able to have the freedom to focus on your health.

If I didn't have to worry about money, I'd be a completely different (and much happier) person.

That gives me an idea - do you think it would be a good idea if your brother met a woman who was interested in going to the gym, like he is? They would have something in common to start with that they could talk about right away. Maybe the woman would see his expertise at personal training first, instead of just seeing his disability.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

He'll get over it. You might have to just forwardly tell them that you have his best interest in mind. That can sometimes be confusing, especially if you have a history of fighting with your siblings. For example, my sister once tried to hook me up with a girl that she thought I'd want based on the last girl I was with. It was an honest good intention, bbbuutttt she didn't realize that I'd left the last girl I was with for a reason. I mean she knew why, but she didn't see how I saw that the two of them were a bit too similar. She's starting to understand what I understand about love and relationships now, in part of her own consequences of being in her last relationship with her baby daddy. Again, I stay out of it. The point is: Sometimes with people, they have to have things get bad enough for themselves before they start trying to make things actually better for themselves. And yeah, it's challenging and taxing. Kinda like trying to watch a really long, really boring movie. Or like reading anything I write.



You're young, so that's funny. Not everybody can internalize things. I'm an antisocial introverted creative, so I have the natural aptitude for it. It works in my favor to do so. If I were more socially stimulated and externally driven, obviously that wouldn't work. So really, all I'm doing is just leaning into my strengths to maximize the benefits thereof for myself, which is kind of what I suggest anybody to do, really. I mean yes, you do have to stretch your comfort zone a bit, because that's how learning is done, but I'm old, I did that already when I was younger.



It depends on how it plays out.
I never make the first move in that situation, specifically for that reason.
It's not something I typically pursue though. More like, if a woman pushes into it with that first move, well, then I guess I'm in that situation.

If that happens, I don't bring it up directly.
The reason I don't bring it up directly is because I've tested it both ways with different women.

When I did bring it up directly and it did stop, it did later turn into a relationship after they split up. But it also became that now I'm the guy that she always comes back to after we've long been split up. And I'm not cut out for that. Like I want her out of my life. Like I've actually had to have the police come and forcefully remove her from my home and give her a trespassing warrant.

Whereas when I didn't bring it up with another woman, I did at least forwardly tell her in the beginning that I'm in no position for a relationship with my life the way that it is. I wasn't all that comfortable with it, but I wasn't deterred, either. I was however, honest on my end of it, so that she understood who and what she was getting involved with. She really kept pushing it though. Like I think that she wanted to get caught. So then when she did, they split up, she moved in with a friend, we didn't talk for a while, while she began to figure out how to put her life back together. She never directly told me that she realized I wasn't a good long term option, but I think that's what was implied by the gradual lack of communication. I'm not that bothered by that, because I told her myself I wasn't in a position to be able to be like that. Weirdly, she thanked me, actually. Which I took to mean that it could've just been any guy, really, and I just happened to be that guy. So in a way, it had nothing to do with me at all, and I know that. THAT PART, that it had nothing to do with me at all and could've been any guy, that bothered me a bit. But I think because up until that point, I knew that happened sometimes with people, but I'd never actually experienced that happening before to me.

The weird thing is, the later was actually easier for me to get over than the former.

Apexie! Thats so funny omg i cant stop laughing you cant allow a woman to pull you into questionable situations

I think the first thing you should do is see if there's any way to get him re-diagnosed, if it hasn't been done recently. Get multiple professional opinions if you think there's more going on with him than just dyslexia. I've heard of people that have dyslexia too, but they are able to function on their own. I agree that it does sound like your brother has something more going on than that.

Judging only on what you've said, I don't think he sounds like he will ever be able to live on his own, unless he meets the right woman who will care for him, and who also understands that she'll have to be the one running the ship. Honestly, and I don't mean to be insensitive, I feel like the position he's in - born to wealth, and with a muscular body - is the best position someone with this condition could be in, because he'd be completely up the creek with women, money, and the world in general without those things. The world is hard enough WITHOUT having a disability. All you need to do is not have money, and not be good at and/or not interested in the things that make money, and just like that, you're in serious trouble, without even being a bad person, you're just not the kind of person the world cares about because it can't use you. That's why I hate this world, actually. It's evil. The older I get the more I realize that this world is not very good at all, in fact, it's gotten even worse than it used to be, in my opinion.

I also agree with the idea that these women you've described, and his "friends", are just exploiting him, and he should learn not to give these people money or believe them when they try to trick him like that.

What about your mother? Does she help him in any way? What does she think about the situation?

All in all, I see your point about it being frustrating to take care of him - especially the privacy issues and just wanting your own personal space to live your own life. At the same time, I also see how without you, he would be in a world of hurt. Most people would probably just leave him to the wolves. It's good he has you looking out for him, and it's a credit to you for doing it.

My dad was ashamed of him having dyslexia so my mum tried to protect him for that she wanted him to be like a girl in many way, looked after and princessed but that doesn't work for men, they have to stand on their own 2 feet.

My brother has a large selection of women that actually like him however, he likes a specific type of woman that is usually no good for him because he thinks he has to date a supermodel, the girls he talks to he swipes like 8 pictures of them before he can find a picture just about covered that he can show me.

I understand what you mean Ska having money is a serious privileged and i wish he was able to understand the value of it and understand people will hurt you for it

 

[Unsigned]

I think the first thing you should do is see if there's any way to get him re-diagnosed, if it hasn't been done recently. Get multiple professional opinions if you think there's more going on with him than just dyslexia. I've heard of people that have dyslexia too, but they are able to function on their own. I agree that it does sound like your brother has something more going on than that.

Judging only on what you've said, I don't think he sounds like he will ever be able to live on his own, unless he meets the right woman who will care for him, and who also understands that she'll have to be the one running the ship. Honestly, and I don't mean to be insensitive, I feel like the position he's in - born to wealth, and with a muscular body - is the best position someone with this condition could be in, because he'd be completely up the creek with women, money, and the world in general without those things. The world is hard enough WITHOUT having a disability. All you need to do is not have money, and not be good at and/or not interested in the things that make money, and just like that, you're in serious trouble, without even being a bad person, you're just not the kind of person the world cares about because it can't use you. That's why I hate this world, actually. It's evil. The older I get the more I realize that this world is not very good at all, in fact, it's gotten even worse than it used to be, in my opinion. We were headed in the right direction, then we turned around and started going backwards - but I digress.

I won't derail this thread -- other than to say I agree with the above 100%.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Apexie! Thats so funny omg i cant stop laughing you cant allow a woman to pull you into questionable situations

I'm all Research & Development.
The fact of the matter is, that's how learning is done.
There is no "real man" separate from other men.
There are only lesser experienced men and more experienced men, and indeed lesser experienced men can become more experienced men.
Sociological terminology only exists for the purpose of sociology existing, but in all actuality it's not and exact and permanent science like chemistry is.
I'm somewhat of a machinist, so I'm used to research and development troubleshooting.
That it happens to be people instead of machinery, is kind of why I just wait it out instead.
I took a lesson from an educational video on dragonflies.
Dragonflies have a 93% hunting accuracy, the most accurate hunter on the planet by the law of averages.
But the way that dragonflies hunt is through interpretive movement.
Rather than chasing their prey, they land nearby and watch it and learn its patterns.
Then, they just fly to where they expect the prey to next end up at.
Humans can do this, but for us it's developmental, we have to learn to do it.
You see humans do this in American soccer/European football.
I just do it with sociology instead.
Benefits of being outside of the circle rather than within it.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm all Research & Development.
The fact of the matter is, that's how learning is done.
There is no "real man" separate from other men.
There are only lesser experienced men and more experienced men, and indeed lesser experienced men can become more experienced men.
Sociological terminology only exists for the purpose of sociology existing, but in all actuality it's not and exact and permanent science like chemistry is.
I'm somewhat of a machinist, so I'm used to research and development troubleshooting.
That it happens to be people instead of machinery, is kind of why I just wait it out instead.
I took a lesson from an educational video on dragonflies.
Dragonflies have a 93% hunting accuracy, the most accurate hunter on the planet by the law of averages.
But the way that dragonflies hunt is through interpretive movement.
Rather than chasing their prey, they land nearby and watch it and learn its patterns.
Then, they just fly to where they expect the prey to next end up at.
Humans can do this, but for us it's developmental, we have to learn to do it.
You see humans do this in American soccer/European football.
I just do it with sociology instead.
Benefits of being outside of the circle rather than within it.

Truthfully I dont think theres a "real man" but theres a type of man who gets by life easier than another type I think Ska was touching on this, it's more a matter of luck and a mixture of other things, my brother finding a girl who wants to be his mum is next to 0 he is a massive lump of a man they want him to be a protector, and the thing is, unlike many men I know he would be in the traditional sense, but he cant protect from his not so sound decisions.

His ex girlfriend got mad at him because he asked me to help him do everything and never every asked her or her opinion, I explained to her it's not personal this is how he is and she said she just be with someone like that, so idk... that alone was enough to end a relationship.

But idk anymore Apexie.
I am leaving my brother to his turbulent life, I will just help out in smaller ways but maybe like others have said im going to ask him to call the doctors and try and see if he can get diagnosed with something because it's extremely difficult to help someone who is not getting all the support they need.

 

[ardour]

If your brother can manage relationship he should be able to get by himself.