mug
Active member
Anyone on here ever painfully shy and quiet in school and therefore get preferrential treatment from teachers which makes the other kids angry at you which causes you to retreat more, causing the teacher to favor you more and thus the cycle repeats?
I remember I skipped class once to buy concert tickets. When I went to the office with a lame excuse to get a hall pass, the secretary believed me, the student office helper said "I don't believe her" And the secretary actually said "Nah, she's a good kid." Hah! if she only knew. I got the evil eye of disgust from the student office helper. I was not a good kid, I was a shy kid, and it saved my butt, but cost me too.
I have found it is also painfully true as an adult. You join a group or club or take a lesson or attend a house of worship and the leader takes it upon herself to treat you like a wounded puppy. I know their gestures are benevolent but they don't realize how it effects others in the group. The other adults get disgusted with you and you get a "Who are you" "Why are you so special" vibe from them. When it is the leader's doing.
Inside, everytime you are "favored" or "babied" by the instructor or leader you get this huge knot in your gut and want to scream "Stop treating me differently and singling me out just because I'm quiet!" But you can't ever bring yourself to express it. "Stop treating me so delicately and differently!"
Friend's parents did it in school, in-laws do it now. I remember my friends getting in trouble once by one of our fathers and yet I wasn't addressed as part of the "trouble" at all. Just because I was the shy quiet type. That can be humiliating.
It doesn't change with how adults react to your 'special treatment' when you grow up. Of course it hasn't always happened, by any means, but when it has it has been so frustrating.
mug
I remember I skipped class once to buy concert tickets. When I went to the office with a lame excuse to get a hall pass, the secretary believed me, the student office helper said "I don't believe her" And the secretary actually said "Nah, she's a good kid." Hah! if she only knew. I got the evil eye of disgust from the student office helper. I was not a good kid, I was a shy kid, and it saved my butt, but cost me too.
I have found it is also painfully true as an adult. You join a group or club or take a lesson or attend a house of worship and the leader takes it upon herself to treat you like a wounded puppy. I know their gestures are benevolent but they don't realize how it effects others in the group. The other adults get disgusted with you and you get a "Who are you" "Why are you so special" vibe from them. When it is the leader's doing.
Inside, everytime you are "favored" or "babied" by the instructor or leader you get this huge knot in your gut and want to scream "Stop treating me differently and singling me out just because I'm quiet!" But you can't ever bring yourself to express it. "Stop treating me so delicately and differently!"
Friend's parents did it in school, in-laws do it now. I remember my friends getting in trouble once by one of our fathers and yet I wasn't addressed as part of the "trouble" at all. Just because I was the shy quiet type. That can be humiliating.
It doesn't change with how adults react to your 'special treatment' when you grow up. Of course it hasn't always happened, by any means, but when it has it has been so frustrating.
mug