So i've been on this site about a week and a half

[hbkdx12]

and I've come across various people, posts and/or threads where someone is looking for advice or guidance. In the time that I've been on this site, i've PM'd about 6 or 7 people offering advice, maybe try to get more background info as to offer better advice, or just offer them someone they can talk to who can relate.

Of all these people, NO ONE has ever written back even though i know they've read it. Not even so much as a "thanks". As petty as it might seem to other people im sure, the whole thing offends me and makes me feel disrespected.

We're all on ALL for a reason.We're all battling different things and are looking for help, guidance and support to help conquer these demons. So if someone offers you help guidance and support, at the very least just acknowledge it with a thank you whether you agree with it or plan to use it. Anything less is just downright rude.

It's the equivalent of asking someone what time it is and they just stare at you like you're a fuckin retard and then casually walk away

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

Maybe no one wants your advice? Stick to giving advice on an "ask only" basis.

 

[Pheenix]

You didn't give many details in the OP, but if it applies, I agree with above.

 

[hbkdx12]

All the advice that I've given stemmed from posts and threads where people were blantantly asking for just that. Most notably in the loneliness forum. So i never wrote to anyone as if to say "oh your way is nice but my way is better...do this"

So if someone doesn't care for or care to use my advice that's fine but a simple thank you to acknowledge and appreciate someone who offers their help wouldn't kill anyone

 

[floffyschneeman]

Why do you need a thank you for something you offered?

 

[Pheenix]

While it is true that you shouldn't expect anything in return for advice, it has come to be defined as rude not to thank people for it by the weird concept known as etiquette. So it seems reasonable to be distraught I'd say.

 

[floffyschneeman]

But the thing about asking time is you asked for it. So it is polite to say thank you. But when you offer something out of your goodwill, you haven't been asked for it, why would you expect a thank you? It would be rude I think, but I don't think I'd care much, if I was the one who offered something.

 

[Callie]

Sometimes, it takes everything for the person to even ASK for help. While it may be a little on the rude side, the poster may find it too much to actually go as far as THANKING people for the advice that is given, even tho they asked for it.
You say these PM's were in response to forum threads... were the people giving advice in the threads thanked?
Also, why didn't you merely post in the thread?

 

[Pheenix]

But the thing about asking time is you asked for it. So it is polite to say thank you. But when you offer something out of your goodwill, you haven't been asked for it, why would you expect a thank you? It would be rude I think, but I don't think I'd care much, if I was the one who offered something.

So... you are inquiring as to why it is so important for OP? In that case, cool enough.

 

[rivermaze]

Ah! hbkdx12, you're a heretic :O admit you're wrong or burn

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe they don't like writing PMs.

Lots of people don't respond to PMs. It is quite common. Mostly has to do with them and not you.

*shrug*

 

[rivermaze]

Maybe they don't like writing PMs.

Lots of people don't respond to PMs. It is quite common. Mostly has to do with them and not you.

*shrug*

Soph *shrug*

 

[Peter Lorre]

I reply to every PM I get, it's the polite thing to do.

Besides, I love getting PM's ^^

 

[hbkdx12]

But the thing about asking time is you asked for it. So it is polite to say thank you. But when you offer something out of your goodwill, you haven't been asked for it, why would you expect a thank you? It would be rude I think, but I don't think I'd care much, if I was the one who offered something.

I didn't go seeking these people out to just give them my advice out the blue. They asked for help

 

[hellomiko]

I don't reply to every PM I get. It's either because I have nothing to say back to it, or because I found the person to be very self-absorbing. But there are many reasons why a person won't reply, why don't you just give them another message and just ask them? If they don't respond again than they're not worth your time.

 

[hbkdx12]

Sometimes, it takes everything for the person to even ASK for help. While it may be a little on the rude side, the poster may find it too much to actually go as far as THANKING people for the advice that is given, even tho they asked for it.

I completely understand and sympathize with that statement but...

You say these PM's were in response to forum threads... were the people giving advice in the threads thanked?
Also, why didn't you merely post in the thread?

...people were thanked in the actual threads, either in general (thanks everyone...) or specifically. I don't expect anyone to explicitly thank me in their threads because if the thread has a lot of responses, it's easy to overlook a lot of the advice that you feel doesn't pertain to you in lieu of someone elses. That's fine by me, it's not a popularity contest where i should receive the most thank yous. Not to mention a "thanks everyone" is sufficient enough. But PMs are different. I'm reaching out to you personally, you could atleast say SOMETHING. I feel like it's just common courtesy

And i do post in the threads. I'll post in the thread before i actually send a PM so it doesn't seem so random but sometimes the PM isn't a matter of giving advice that i could be giving in the thread but just to reach out and open the lines of communication if they ever want to talk to someone one-on-one who feels that they can relate to what they're going through. Of course, that doesn't mean you're suddenly committing to being my penpal if you reply but again a simple, thanks is more than appreciated.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe they don't like writing PMs.

Lots of people don't respond to PMs. It is quite common. Mostly has to do with them and not you.

*shrug*

Soph *shrug*

LOL

 

[nerdygirl]

I'd like to point something out. We are a group full of socially awkward people. We each have our own ways in which we are awkward, but we are awkward, nonetheless. Are you seriously getting bothered by the fact that people who are not very sophisticated in the art of communication are not communicating with you the way you'd like them to?

As far as courtesy goes, I'm not even sure it's proper decorum to write somebody a PM regarding a thread topic. I might do it with somebody I consider a friend or if I feel the things I'm saying are secret or might stir up drama. Other than that, it feels wrong to me to respond in a private way. The person posted in a thread. The person probably wants responses in the same way.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I'd like to point something out. We are a group full of socially awkward people. We each have our own ways in which we are awkward, but we are awkward, nonetheless. Are you seriously getting bothered by the fact that people who are not very sophisticated in the art of communication are not communicating with you the way you'd like them to?

Yep!

+1

Also, I find it kind of stupid to get your panties in a bunch about this. Don't you think the people you've PMed might see this thread and how could they have anything but negative feelings seeing this?

If they don't respond, move on.

Also, this might be an example of your own social awkwardness, not being able to accept rejection (and move on) and interpreting neutral responses as negative responses.

 

[rivermaze]

Yep!

+1

Also, I find it kind of stupid to get your panties in a bunch about this. Don't you think the people you've PMed might see this thread and how could they have anything but negative feelings seeing this?

If they don't respond, move on.

Also, this might be an example of your own social awkwardness, not being able to accept rejection (and move on) and interpreting neutral responses as negative responses.

Soph! *shrug*