soooo alone. nothing and noone to live for.

[SighX99]

worst situation: realizing I have absolutely nothing and no one to live for, and I truly know that suicide is not an option. im stuck.
sigh...........................times 99

 

[Unacceptance]

Let's play some video games man. No one has anything to live for. Eating shitting, and earning a pay check. Just gotta find good ways to occupy your time.

 

[SighX99]

everything gets old. dont ge me wrong, left for dead is awesome, but its still cant beat having a relationship with someone or just simply a conversation... its just one of those days for me right now... everything is so empty. i dont know what or how to make that go away.

 

[Unacceptance]

Well I'm open for a conversation. The relationship thing, I don't think I'm a candidate for. You got my Steam addy man, feel free.

 

[lovehurtme]

I'm up for convo too. Please don't feel like there is nothing to live for. If nothing else, live for you.

 

[Brian]

Let's play some video games man. No one has anything to live for. Eating shitting, and earning a pay check. Just gotta find good ways to occupy your time.

I dunno. I pretty much enjoy all of the above. Especially the eating and the paycheck...eating is delicious, and money is pretty much awesome because it buys me stuff.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Played your guitar lately ,signX99??

You can try reaching out the NA or AA in your area.
Plenty of people in your age range that found a way to stop
getting high. 100's of meetings avaliable in your area everyday.
Isn't that something you wanted to you for yourself ?
It's probably one of the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
You'll get lots of help and support aside from just not using
or getting high. Make friends and meet babes in there. Have a good
time too. They have fun activites you can participate in.
Hang out with people after meetings and what not too.

There's even conventions you can attend in difernent cities from
time to time. Thousands attend and have a good time without getting high. Meet babes there too....i did

Some recovery babes are cool..they're spiritual becuase recovery includ a spiritaul living program.
They're have more comapssion, understanding, and patient. Really down to earth loving people if
they're clean and sober and working their program. It's real and not syntetic. When you love you turely
love. When you're happy you're truley happy. And when you're sad..you're really sad..but that's okay
that's why they're call support groups.

It was hard at first for me to attend becuase i didn't have a court card.
i was too bussy with my job or schedules
but it got to the piont where I felt life was numb and piontless.
I finally took or made the time to attend those meetings. It was a life saver.
Recovery is not boring that's for sure.

I can't really explain it....but I don't feel like I'm alone, alone anymore after I
got clean and sober. I get lonely from time to time but not insane aloniness
before i got sober. Before i could be in a crowded room and feel lonely as hell.
Today i can spend time alone and not feel lonely.

You can try the 800 or google, someone will try to
asist you or get you meeting schdules.

Don't trip...you can come and go as you please in NA or AA.
There's no rules.

It's not what you assume...People in recovery come
from all walks of life...not a hype you pictured in a dark
alley. Any where from doctors, lawyer or to the girl next door.

There's even ala-teen if you wish to hang out with the younger
people.

Muscially everything started clicking for me after i got clean and sober.

 

[Bluey]

worst situation: realizing I have absolutely nothing and no one to live for, and I truly know that suicide is not an option. im stuck.
sigh...........................

I have felt like this many times and I still do kinder off. I know I well feel like this many moor times as well in tell something in my life changers. I just don't know what I should change about myself or my life. I know for me too that suicide is no longer an option. two reasons. first I ent got the bottle for that honeysuckle and the second reason is I do have a mum, dad and a sister that I would hurt very much. I ent that selfish. But non of them two reasons make anything easier to live with.

I also don't have to earn a pay check. So even moor time for me.

 

[SighX99]

Played your guitar lately ,signX99??

You can try reaching out the NA or AA in your area.
Plenty of people in your age range that found a way to stop
getting high. 100's of meetings avaliable in your area everyday.
Isn't that something you wanted to you for yourself ?
It's probably one of the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
You'll get lots of help and support aside from just not using
or getting high. Make friends and meet babes in there. Have a good
time too. They have fun activites you can participate in.
Hang out with people after meetings and what not too.

There's even conventions you can attend in difernent cities from
time to time. Thousands attend and have a good time without getting high. Meet babes there too....i did

Some recovery babes are cool..they're spiritual becuase recovery includ a spiritaul living program.
They're have more comapssion, understanding, and patient. Really down to earth loving people if
they're clean and sober and working their program. It's real and not syntetic. When you love you turely
love. When you're happy you're truley happy. And when you're sad..you're really sad..but that's okay
that's why they're call support groups.

It was hard at first for me to attend becuase i didn't have a court card.
i was too bussy with my job or schedules
but it got to the piont where I felt life was numb and piontless.
I finally took or made the time to attend those meetings. It was a life saver.
Recovery is not boring that's for sure.

I can't really explain it....but I don't feel like I'm alone, alone anymore after I
got clean and sober. I get lonely from time to time but not insane aloniness
before i got sober. Before i could be in a crowded room and feel lonely as hell.
Today i can spend time alone and not feel lonely.

You can try the 800 or google, someone will try to
asist you or get you meeting schdules.

Don't trip...you can come and go as you please in NA or AA.
There's no rules.

It's not what you assume...People in recovery come
from all walks of life...not a hype you pictured in a dark
alley. Any where from doctors, lawyer or to the girl next door.

There's even ala-teen if you wish to hang out with the younger
people.

Muscially everything started clicking for me after i got clean and sober.

its just..... i think its embarrasing to go to a aa meeting or NA. and i dont want to go to rehab or do in-patient. im afraid that once i go to those meetings theyll drag me to a rehab center....

the music sober thing is true. when i write music i try to stay sober.

dr.brownstone grabs u by the balls

 

[Silvernight]

I feel like this too when I'm down. Eating, shitting and earning a paycheck indeed... doesn't sound very motivating. In my teens, I constantly felt that a huge chunk of something was missing from life. I mean, well, seriously, all your life you do all of the above and reproduce so that your offspring could continue in the same vein, and so on. Pointless. But I couldn't really define what exactly was missing or where it's gone. I think I know now what exactly is missing though. The feeling of connectedness to everything. To the universe, to nature, to all living things, etc. We live in the illusion of complete isolation from the rest of the world, like there's "me" and there's "them" and "everything else". It's also where this intense loneliness stems from. Though some people are much better adapted to this than others. I believe we had this feeling once (thousands of years ago) but then lost it at some point. I also believe it's going to be restored, but there's no telling when.

Perhaps it was somewhat not to the point, sorry, I get carried away sometimes.

worst situation: realizing I have absolutely nothing and no one to live for, and I truly know that suicide is not an option. im stuck.
sigh...........................

I have felt like this many times and I still do kinder off. I know I well feel like this many moor times as well in tell something in my life changers. I just don't know what I should change about myself or my life. I know for me too that suicide is no longer an option. two reasons. first I ent got the bottle for that honeysuckle and the second reason is I do have a mum, dad and a sister that I would hurt very much. I ent that selfish. But non of them two reasons make anything easier to live with.

I also don't have to earn a pay check. So even moor time for me.

Bluey, it's cool not to have to earn a paycheck. Why would you want to be slaving away at some boring corporate desk job? You can do whatever you want with your time instead. The biggest downside that I see here is living alone, and not having much contact with anyone.

 

[Bluey]

I feel like this too when I'm down. Eating, shitting and earning a paycheck indeed... doesn't sound very motivating. In my teens, I constantly felt that a huge chunk of something was missing from life. I mean, well, seriously, all your life you do all of the above and reproduce so that your offspring could continue in the same vein, and so on. Pointless. But I couldn't really define what exactly was missing or where it's gone. I think I know now what exactly is missing though. The feeling of connectedness to everything. To the universe, to nature, to all living things, etc. We live in the illusion of complete isolation from the rest of the world, like there's "me" and there's "them" and "everything else". It's also where this intense loneliness stems from. Though some people are much better adapted to this than others. I believe we had this feeling once (thousands of years ago) but then lost it at some point. I also believe it's going to be restored, but there's no telling when.

Perhaps it was somewhat not to the point, sorry, I get carried away sometimes.

Intriguing. I have thought the same as you in that one day I think everyone on the planet well relies that they have to stop acting and just show when they love someone. If you get that. I thought there was like a million different things you where trying to say in your post here. i read tho it twice. I think if i read fro it another two times it would say something else to me. I think this post is moor deep then it first appears.

worst situation: realizing I have absolutely nothing and no one to live for, and I truly know that suicide is not an option. im stuck.
sigh...........................

I have felt like this many times and I still do kinder off. I know I well feel like this many moor times as well in tell something in my life changers. I just don't know what I should change about myself or my life. I know for me too that suicide is no longer an option. two reasons. first I ent got the bottle for that honeysuckle and the second reason is I do have a mum, dad and a sister that I would hurt very much. I ent that selfish. But non of them two reasons make anything easier to live with.

I also don't have to earn a pay check. So even moor time for me.

Bluey, it's cool not to have to earn a paycheck. Why would you want to be slaving away at some boring corporate desk job? You can do whatever you want with your time instead. The biggest downside that I see here is living alone, and not having much contact with anyone.

That is the only downside yes. well there is a pride issue but the non contacting and the lack of ppl I meet in life is a big down side to it. One that I think holds me back.


Do you sometimes think that your about to break tho to something great, just all you need is an idea to go with. One that you feel passionate about. I believe all I need is to stumble across the one thing that I can sink my teeth into and I would achieve great things. Do you get that?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

its just..... i think its embarrasing to go to a aa meeting or NA. and i dont want to go to rehab or do in-patient. im afraid that once i go to those meetings theyll drag me to a rehab center....

the music sober thing is true. when i write music i try to stay sober.

dr.brownstone grabs u by the balls

I felt the sameway when i first started going.
I used to park my car around the conner, wore my shades , hat, then
sneak in through the back door.

No, no one will drag you to a rehab center. It's also a self help
program. You have to want it and people can't do it for you.

anyway yeah....Mr Brownstone was one of my favorite song ..lol

I used to do a little, but a little didn't do it, so a little got more and more.
I just keep trying to get a little bit better than a little bit than before.

Be well...please take care of yourself.

 

[Silvernight]

Intriguing. I have thought the same as you in that one day I think everyone on the planet well relies that they have to stop acting and just show when they love someone. If you get that. I thought there was like a million different things you where trying to say in your post here. i read tho it twice. I think if i read fro it another two times it would say something else to me. I think this post is moor deep then it first appears.

If (or better, when) this awareness returns, there won't be any acting because it would become impossible. And unnecessary. I imagine there will also be no loneliness, this feeling of isolation such as we suffer from now. I wanted to say more but then I would go completely OT. Plus, I could do without being considered a total lunatic.

Do you sometimes think that your about to break tho to something great, just all you need is an idea to go with. One that you feel passionate about. I believe all I need is to stumble across the one thing that I can sink my teeth into and I would achieve great things. Do you get that?

Yes. My problem is that I have not able to figure which route exactly is the right one I need to take. I would get ideas from time to time, one stranger than another, fantasize about it all day and then next morning wonder how I could come up with something so crazy.

 

[SighX99]

i think i need to clearify something. i go to school. there is always tons and tons of work at school. i get lonely at school. all i do is homework and homework, and i dont even have a decent grade. i barely have time to play music now... its like taking my hands away without playing music. i want to help people, but how can i help others when even I need help? also ive helped a lot of people in the past, in the end, everyone is a little selfish and unappreciative is what i have learned from my experience. and nobody ever fuckin helps me when i need help the most... karma my ass. ive helped omeless people get back on track, let them live at my old aparment, i help people move sometime because moving furniture was my expertise. ive given a lot of money to charity and recently, the fire disaster in california. im also a donating member of enviromental california as well.i give my friend dope when he needs it so he doesnt kill himself. but, again, no one really recognize anything, and im ok with that. but when i needed help the most in the past, no one really step up and helped me out...

 

[Unacceptance]

Yeah Karma is a bunch of bullshit. People are quick to point out a bad person getting a dose of "karma" yet then turn around and complain about bad things happening to good people.

Obviously bad honeysuckle is just going to happen.

Learn to live as you are happy man.

I'm sure you like the idea of helping folks out, if that makes you happy do it. If you're unfulfilled by it, tell people to fresia off. You've got to get your honeysuckle sorted out before bending over backwards.

 

[Bluey]

If (or better, when) this awareness returns, there won't be any acting because it would become impossible. And unnecessary. I imagine there will also be no loneliness, this feeling of isolation such as we suffer from now. I wanted to say more but then I would go completely OT. Plus, I could do without being considered a total lunatic.

I would not think your going mad lol *calls the men in white coats* But ye I totally get your way of thinking there.

Yes. My problem is that I have not able to figure which route exactly is the right one I need to take. I would get ideas from time to time, one stranger than another, fantasize about it all day and then next morning wonder how I could come up with something so crazy.

I do that. Go fro life sonorous. Like i would sometimes just lay there for two hours or moor just thinking of a totally different life that I might live. Yes we are weird hahah But weird is good right? I think so.

 

[Wishtobemyself]

worst situation: realizing I have absolutely nothing and no one to live for, and I truly know that suicide is not an option. im stuck.
sigh...........................times 99

Go to youtube and watch any vids that'll make you laugh (sitcoms, bloopers, etc). I do that a lot and it makes me happy for a while

 

[Creat1ve]

So you are saying that you have nothing to live for?

Heh, I used to think that... that I had no reason to live whatsoever, since I spent most of my time all alone. But, even then, I enjoyed the "little" things I like such as watching sunset and airplanes at the local airport...

You must like something, you must love doing something. If you do what you like, even a little, I am sure you will be satisfied

I also did not have anyone to "live" for, but then again, what about parents? Isn't that a good reason to live? Wouldn't it be great for them to see their own child growing up?

There must be someone who cares for you, so in return, live for them and make them happy by just letting yourself being seen as you grow...

 

[Nivek]

worst situation: realizing I have absolutely nothing and no one to live for, and I truly know that suicide is not an option. im stuck.
sigh...........................times 99

Life is: Birth. Pain. Pleasure. Monotony. Death.
The key is to derive more pleasure from life than pain. And to treat people the way you would like to treated.