Unlucky, so very unlucky

[Snickers]

When I was a toddler (ard 3 yrs old) I have a boy cousin kissed me on the cheeks.

As I grew older, I entered primary school, there was one guy twin that everyone loves to pair me up with and saying that we are very much compatible with each other. Everytime we talk to each other, my friends (yeah I used to have friends) and classmates would go "Weet, weet, carry on!" and burst into applause.

So when my family started to move, I too, moved to a brand new primary school (This time at the age of 10) . In this school, I had many many encounters with guys expressing interest. There was one guy that was in my art CCA and after playing basketball with his friends, he would stand outside my class windows (we are in different classes) to wait for me to finish classes. He even tried to kiss me once during a break in my art CCA.

Anyways, fast forward to 11 years old, we drifted apart because of all the cooties teasing and I met another good looking guy in my class that always wanted me to play catching with him during recess. He knew my running was lackluster so he gave loads of encouragement to me and even tried to hug and kiss me once...besides him, there was also one guy that whenever I threw insults at him, he didn't wanted to retaliate and instead if other girls do that, he would retaliate them back and he even smiled at me and is always so giving in his offers for food to me.

So I started to go into puberty, having crap loads of pimples and every guy out there started to shun and some even bullied me.

As I entered High School, not knowing that a downfall is about to begin, I had a guy who always topped his class noticing me a lot more often. He admitted that he likes me to his friends but kept keeping a distance from me and sometimes he was even embarrassed to be with me (perhaps because of my awkward appearances)

So a group of girls started to gang up and bullied me.

Anyways that guy moved on to another class, so everyone was drifted apart.

I even got a creepy high school teacher that kept wanting to touch me and even showering me creepy attention that from there, no one help me to ward him off and I deem this as sexual harassment and outright blatant bullying from my class for ignoring the ongoings.

During my last high school years, I got really goodlooking guy liking me but of course that group of girls that bullied me were his friends so they tried all means to prevent me from being attached to him.

Anyways, I suffered from agoraphobia after I graduated from high school and wasted some years of my teenage life staying at home all the time and working in a crap office job that an online friend introduced to me and getting abuse by the boss.

So right now, I am 23 years studying in a college pursing a professional qualifications with 97% of them only girls and working in a crappy fast food job with teenagers and 'losers' and I even got fatter and fatter as the years from then till now.

I even got insulted for my appearance when a group of young guys was dining around there.

I don't have friends or a social life right and spent most of my time at home on the internet, being depressed and sick of life.

I have never gotten into a relationship as you can see, we are either too young, drifted apart or was really shallow.

5 years ago, when I was 18, people say I'd find someone. 5 years later now, I am still the same person except with a crappy job and school and weight gain.

Tell me, has my prime of my life ended already?

 

[Badjedidude]

Tell me, has my prime of my life ended already?

If you continue on without changing anything, then most likely YES.

If you want to have better days, then you have to ACT to make it happen. You have to exercise, you have to try to advance yourself, you have to get out and force yourself to make more social contacts.

That's what life is about! Life isn't about sitting around letting things happen to you and then moaning about it. CONTROL your life! Get out there and make your life what you want it to be!

I hope everything goes well for you, and I hope you take my advice and start working toward making things better for yourself.

 

[Snickers]

I don't have friends, you need friends to have friends.

And where the hell am I going to start? I only do school part-time and as for work, most of them are way too young for me.

Seriously, if I know where to go, do you honestly think I'd be here typing this down?

 

[Badjedidude]

I don't have friends, you need friends to have friends.

Go MAKE some friends. That's my point. Go out and find people who have similar interests. Check out bookstores, videogame stores, whatever store that sells your hobbies or whatever product you're particularly interested in. And then find those who are buying the same thing and talk to them. Or hell, bump into someone on the street and ask them to lunch. You'd be surprised at how many people will let you buy them lunch in return for a pleasant conversation.

And where the hell am I going to start? I only do school part-time and as for work, most of them are way too young for me.

Seriously, if I know where to go, do you honestly think I'd be here typing this down?

You mentioned weight gain. So obviously you're eating a bit more than you should, and/or not exercising as much as you should. Try going out for a walk or a jog every morning. It's hard at first, but it gets easier every day that you do it, and it will help you a LOT in losing those extra pounds. I know because I DID IT. It works. So this is a good place to start.

Also, you're making a good start by coming to this site for others' opinions and help.

 

[Snickers]

Hi, sorry thanks for your advice. But it's not very helpful.

I have social anxiety and if i do know how to make friends, I would already do.

5 years ago, people keep giving me the same advice like yours and it dos nothing.

It's very easy to say go out and make friends but what??????

So by saying go out and make friends and chatting up to them will get me friends?!?!?

Maybe I posted in the wrong forum...

 

[Badjedidude]

So by saying go out and make friends and chatting up to them will get me friends?!?!?

Yes. It will.

5 years ago, people keep giving me the same advice like yours and it dos nothing.

It does nothing because you reject it offhand. Did you TRY the advice that the others gave you? Or did you attempt it for a couple of days and then give up after deciding that it was too much effort?

Maybe I posted in the wrong forum...

What? No, this is the right forum. I'm sure others will post soon with advice different from mine... but honestly, you can't expect this to be easy. Anything that you do to make your situation better is going to be hard; very, very hard. But in the end it's worth it if you stick with it.

Again, I wish you the best!

 

[Snickers]

Thanks but I did try and well, people kept pushing me away.

I don't know why..maybe they don't like my qualities after talking to me?

If not, I wouldn't be so friendless after so many years...

And at this age, I'd say it's pretty hard as my character has been set in...I am those that needs to see that person daily or most of the times, in order to get myself comfortable with people.

 

[Belleza]

I'm really sorry to hear all of the stuff that you've been through. =[

Firstly, maybe you should see someone about your phobia? Talk to a counsellor or something? That in itself might help because:
a) You'd be talking to someone and therefore socialising - introducing yourself to being around people more often.
b) On top of that, they would be helping you overcome your fears.

Maybe after you've done that, you could look into group therapy? I know it sounds really scary - I've had to do it myself for a different problem - but once you get there it's not really all that bad, and you realise that you're not alone. There are other people who understand, no matter how much you feel that no one could ever get it.

Also, through those group therapy sessions you would be meeting a lot of other people - people who I'm sure would be extremely friendly. You're all in the same position, which is quite vulnerable, so no one is going to be nasty. =]

I'm sure it's not who you are that pushes people away - trust me, I know some of those most annoying people in the world... Just plain nasty, annoying and they don't care about anyone but themselves, so how do they still manage to have friends? Because they don't push themselves away, I suppose. And even if you don't realise it, you probably are pushing yourself away from making friends because you're afraid that once they get to know you (because you've changed so much during the past few years and because of what you've been through), they won't want to be your friend. But trust me, no matter how messed up you are, people are going to want to be there for you. I know this first hand, because I'm pretty messed up myself. =P

When you wake up in the morning, just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you're beautiful - as stupid as it sounds, just do it. You may not believe it at first, but as each day passes you'll begin to realise that you are. And even if you think that there are things that you can change about yourself, do it - set yourself a goal, something to look forward to, y'know?

I could go on, but I've made this way too long already... Sorry! =P But good luck with everything. Really. =]