What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[Finished]

^ Yeah...... Being a carefree kid was great. I started working part time at 12 or so and full time at 15. I tried to make as much money as I could and got burned out by 40. But, don't fret because we'll probably get Alzheimers later in life and be carefree again. See there's always something to look forward to.

I guess that's one way to look at it.

Personal question but I'm curious - did you ever wind up making a lot of money before you got burnt out?

I made enough and SAVED most of it. I shouldn't have to work again barring something super crazy from happening. The funny thing was that I stuck my money in the bank and planned on living off the interest. Gee, that part didn't work out very well. 

The US has been dumping huge amounts of money into the economy since 2008 to fraudulently make the economy appear to be doing better then it really is. They have forced interest rates to near zero since 2008 as well while hiding the fact that inflation has continued to increase. Now with dumping multi $trillions of dollars into the economy and 30 year mortgages at super low rates, I don't think savings rates will go up for a long time. Even if inflation hits hard the US will hold interest rates super low in order to borrow more money that we'll never pay back.

 

[ahsatan]

now my life is ruined even more. I'm so ******* stupid.

 

[Finished]

I have a headache.

 

[JJW]

Sleep deprived

 

[TheSkaFish]

Feeling melancholy because I feel like I'll never be impressive or interesting enough for anyone I'm attracted to, because I'm not good at anything, don't get inspired that often, aren't wild and wacky, aren't reckless or a risk taker, and aren't sarcastic, critical, smug, and witty. There's a lot of traits and characteristics that women seem to like in men that I don't like, but more than that, there's a lot of traits and characteristics that women seem to like, that don't even occur to me. Like even if I had no problem with it at all, I just wouldn't think to be that way, say those things, say things that way, act like that, because it's just not the way I think, not how I feel, not how I view the world. Even just thinking about stuff to say - some of the stuff people say, I would never have thought to come up with it, or anything like it.

Someone mentioned something on here recently about "thought patterns" - I don't know how to change my thought patterns to whatever an interesting person's would be. I'm like a poor person trying to figure out how a rich person thinks, so I can learn to live like they do. But I've never been a rich person, so I have no idea how they think. The way I am is all I've ever known. I don't know any other way, all I know is that "me" doesn't work. I have to take away my negativity, but then I have to add....something. I don't know what that "something" is, though.

And I feel like I just won't get another chance. I feel like I won't get another chance with anyone I like, and I feel like I won't really meet anyone I like that much again, because I hardly ever meet anyone that really strikes me. That's not even me being an elitist, it's more like, not a lot of people turn me on, and not a lot of people make me curious. Not a lot of people make me feel like I wonder what they think, what they know, what they're like day to day, where their story is going to go.

I just don't know how to be right. But I have work to do right now so I don't really have too much time to think about it. I have to keep going, I guess.

 

[Finished]

I thinking that I'm glad that I prepared for bad times.

 

[Just Games]

I'm feeling the pain of being an empty nester,only one teenager left in three weeks time,I hope i don't start feeling lonely again when my wife works weekends

 

[Finished]

^ Sounds like times are a changing.

 

[TheSkaFish]

another year older.  i just turned 34.

feeling like it's hard for me to get into things, like i used to when i was a kid, when i don't know when or if this singledom will ever end.  if i'll ever find the answers to get me out.  if i'll ever figure out how to be good enough.

feeling like i missed my chance

 

[TheSkaFish]

I was just going to rant about something that pissed me off but I got tired of myself.
I need to come up with other thoughts besides complaining/ranting. I guess I need to get better at ignoring things I don't like. Otherwise there will always be something to be angry about.

Also, so much stuff to do, not enough day.

 

[Sameer]

Just bored..

 

[Finished]

I was just going to rant about something that pissed me off but I got tired of myself.
I need to come up with other thoughts besides complaining/ranting.  I guess I need to get better at ignoring things I don't like.  Otherwise there will always be something to be angry about.

Also, so much stuff to do, not enough day.

The world sucks right now. I don't see very many good things happening in my lifetime. Yeah, most people try to ignore all the bad honeysuckle and just live their lives as best they can. It's definitely easier and less stressful for one to bury their head in the sand and believe everything is just fine. So most won't take in what you are saying and think about it no matter how true or accurate it may be. You are just looked at as being negative and then ignored. 

The stock market has been breaking records recently. So, the economy must be doing fantastic right? Nope. It's because the US has been dumping VAST amounts of money we don't have into the economy. But, it doesn't matter as long as the stock market has super high numbers. So, lets dump even more money and ignore the consequences of doing that as long as we get a few dollars each even though prices are / will be going up and up and up making any personal increases a big step backwards.

 

[Rainbows]

sad

 

[Finished]

Good. I trimmed and cleaned up the front yard. Now I can say I did something or at least think it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

...

nevermind, i'm OK-ish, i guess. have to stay in motion.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Feeling a little better looking in the mirror this week. I hope I'm not wishfully thinking but I think I have the pudge on the retreat. I definitely look better than I did last winter. I'm just glad to know I'm getting at least some results.

Once I can afford to and the virus is gone, then I can go to the gym and focus on putting some meat on my bones.

 

[Finished]

^ It is so much easier to gain muscle if you have fat on you. Lifting doesn't add muscle. It just makes you stronger and appear even slimmer with clothes on.

I'm wondering how much more Christmas stuff there is to post about. Ha! Ha!

 

[TheSkaFish]

^ It is so much easier to gain muscle if you have fat on you. Lifting doesn't add muscle. It just makes you stronger and appear even slimmer with clothes on.

****, really? I thought that lifting does build muscle, especially if you eat a lot of protein. Then again, I don't know a lot about this stuff. I have to keep doing what I'm doing anyway though cause it's all that's available to me and otherwise I'll balloon.

I think I have the stupid skinny-fat body type, or at least that's what I default to if I stop exercising, or don't exercise intensely enough. Just my luck that it's probably the hardest body type to build muscle with.

---

Feeling sad I didn't take advantage of how things were before, in all ways. Feeling sad at messing up a lot of things because I didn't know what I should have been doing instead or how I could have made it so much better. I'm still not sure if I could ever have really gotten anywhere, but I feel like I made my life a lot worse than it needed to be.

 

[Finished]

^ It is so much easier to gain muscle if you have fat on you. Lifting doesn't add muscle. It just makes you stronger and appear even slimmer with clothes on.

****, really?  I thought that lifting does build muscle, especially if you eat a lot of protein. 

Nope. If you are naturally skinny then gaining muscle is very difficult. It's not a protein issue. I had to get a waiver to get into the military because I was below the minimum weight for my height. But, I could both bench press and shoulder press over 220 pounds. I was in great shape too. Boot camp was easy for me. They said boot camp would bulk me up. Nope. All throughout my life I tried to gain mass. I drank thousands of protein and weight gainer shakes, took creatine, a few other supplements, lifted hard, and gain nearly nothing. I went to doctors, nutritionists, and naturopaths. I was convinced that something had to be medically wrong with me. 

But, they all basically said I was the healthiest person that ever walked through their doors after they completed all their testing. They said that I had to be lying about the quantities of food that I was eating and/or I must have been purging. I wasn't. Then I tried one more thing. I ate tons of sugar. I started drinking two gallons of that sugary crap fruit juice that is sold at the grocery stores. My blood sugar went through the roof and I was constantly dizzy. But, I gained about 35 pounds in a month. Nearly all of it went straight to my muscles too as I was still lifting hard. My coworkers were convinced I was doing steroids. But, I wasn't. 

However, I got sick and lost it all within a couple weeks. Now I realize that sugar is poison so I stay clear of it and will be skinny for the rest of my life. I've just had to accept that. But, I do get tired of listening to non-skinny people say just lift weights and take supplements then'll you be big too. Some in the past even referred me to the commercials with the weight gain shakes. They believed I wasn't really trying to gain weight / muscle. It's just like saying be yourself and everybody will like you. The women will just magically appear. You don't even have to go looking for them.

 

[TheSkaFish]

^Oh man. That's crazy. Unfortunately I can't really do anything to build muscles at the moment.

---

Hoping that I haven't bitten off more than I can chew. In an attempt to become employable, I'm trying to learn something that isn't my forte. I feel like I'm trying to learn something that isn't really "me", but this is what makes money. It's better than a life of frustration and humiliation and being pissed off or in despair all the time, so I'm willing to learn it. I just don't know if I can.

The problem is, I've gone through my whole life feeling like I don't have a forte. Let alone one that makes money.